it's the weekend! yeah!
Maybe I am too honest for my own good. Hmm.
Anyway, I have finally confessed to the SPH people that I probably won't take up the scholarship even if they offered it to me (which they haven't yet, anyway).
So I took myself out of the running for an SPH scholarship, and I don't really know what I'm feeling.
I'm kind of regretful that I kicked my own self out of a scholarship (i mean, who in her right mind will bow out of a scholarship), but at the same time, I'm rather relieved.
Generally, I don't like to lie. Too much, that is. Little white lies are sometimes acceptable, depending on the situation. But for a situation like the SPH one, I find that I cannot sustain the lie.
Because if I hadn't confessed, I would have spent the whole time thinking "Am I depriving someone else of a shot at this scholarship? Am I depriving someone else who would really want to be a journalist?" and generally felt rather guilty.
As it is, I told the editor that I really like journalism work, but not the 6-year bond, and asked her whether I can stay on as an intern, and she said: "Sure!"
The SPH scholarship people were rather amazed at me. And what is so strange about going for an internship even though I'm not running for the scholarship any more? *sniff*
So, yeah. I kicked my own self out of a scholarship. I have no words.
Methinks I am too honest. Or honourable. Or whatever.
Anyway, I have finally confessed to the SPH people that I probably won't take up the scholarship even if they offered it to me (which they haven't yet, anyway).
So I took myself out of the running for an SPH scholarship, and I don't really know what I'm feeling.
I'm kind of regretful that I kicked my own self out of a scholarship (i mean, who in her right mind will bow out of a scholarship), but at the same time, I'm rather relieved.
Generally, I don't like to lie. Too much, that is. Little white lies are sometimes acceptable, depending on the situation. But for a situation like the SPH one, I find that I cannot sustain the lie.
Because if I hadn't confessed, I would have spent the whole time thinking "Am I depriving someone else of a shot at this scholarship? Am I depriving someone else who would really want to be a journalist?" and generally felt rather guilty.
As it is, I told the editor that I really like journalism work, but not the 6-year bond, and asked her whether I can stay on as an intern, and she said: "Sure!"
The SPH scholarship people were rather amazed at me. And what is so strange about going for an internship even though I'm not running for the scholarship any more? *sniff*
So, yeah. I kicked my own self out of a scholarship. I have no words.
Methinks I am too honest. Or honourable. Or whatever.