Comments | faerieloch: baked alaska

faerieloch

baked alaska

Apr 21, 2009 14:23

I now know two people who have quit grad school, more or less permanently. I have certainly thought about it! However, I decided to stick with it. Why? Because having that degree is really worthwhile: it is a mark of status, no matter where you go. The fact that it raises your pay scale doesn’t hurt, either. A primary reason I’m getting my ( Read more... )

Comments 6

bloodthorn April 21 2009, 22:17:50 UTC

I was Ph.D. track for Computer Science at USC for about a semester and a half and I left. I was there because I wanted to teach but rapidly learned I loathed research; at least research with eye towards publishing. I like researching things and tinkering with stuff but writing it down or not being able to move on when I'm bored? Not my thing.

What I'd loved doing a year a before (learning, going to class, etc) suddenly felt like a job. I decided that if it was going to feel like a job I wanted to be paid like a job. So I went to make video games instead and I'm not really sorry I made that choice.

You, on the other hand, have been there MUCH MUCH longer which suggests to me that under the pile bullshit there must be the diamond you really love. Doubt and confusion are normal but if you haven't walked away by now then chances are your instincts about what you want are correct.

faerieloch April 21 2009, 22:45:46 UTC

Oh, I definitely went through a long phase of hating research and writing it up. I really liked teaching, though, and still do. But I was really stubborn. Part of what I hated, I think, was being forced to justify and support everything I said. Why couldn't they just believe me? Now, a year or so later, it just seems normal and I do my best to give my audience the support and justification up front.

Though, if I left, it would have been to join a program to get a teacher's certificate and teach at an elementary or high school level. So I would still be in school and not getting paid for it. Which is a very different situation than leaving to go into industry.

And yes, when it comes down to it, I really like discovering new things and academia is the place to do that. :)

frame_shift April 21 2009, 23:39:09 UTC

At this point I'm mostly still in due to stubbornness, myself.

Having some job security (however low paying) doesn't hurt right now either.

faerieloch April 21 2009, 23:48:54 UTC

Ah, yes, job security. That thought had occurred to me, too. It may involve a lot of TAing, but you'll still get paid.

jencallisto April 22 2009, 01:38:54 UTC

You know, it's interesting, because I can envision many scenarios that would've resulted in me seeing it through, and in the end, I may yet go back. But at this point, I choose happiness and freedom over banging my head against a wall for a future I'm no longer certain I want, and I feel really good about it. However, I suspect for a lot of people, it makes good sense to stick with it -- I just think that's not at all true for everyone who started one. Not everyone wants to teach, not everyone wants to slot themselves into the standardization and specialization of academia, not everyone wants to deal with publish or perish, and perhaps most importantly, not everyone can realize that before they try it. I'll also note that quitting doesn't necessarily mean giving in to the desire to quit. In a lot of ways, I never really did desire to quit at all, but I reached an untenable position, and despite a large part of me that wanted to hold on (indeed, one of the reasons I held on as long as I did), I weighed the pros and cons and made a ( ... )

faerieloch April 22 2009, 04:28:11 UTC

See, the bit of this post I couldn't fit in was all the really negative feelings I've had along the way. I have felt exactly the way you do, but I'm unsure why I've stuck it out. I definitely hit the point where I almost walked away because it's really important to do what you enjoy as well as enjoy what you do and I definitely wasn't enjoying anything. But I'm really not sure why I stuck it out. The best I can come up with is that, for me, it opened more doors at the cost of two more years than quitting would have. Quitting would have closed doors. Although, I have said for many years that I wish I had taken a break somewhere in the process, whether before undergrad or gradschool. So, I've never been one for short-term gain, and if I don't want to stay in academia I can always teach at another level. But if I left, I wouldn't be able to teach at a university level. I think, ultimately, that's why I stayed ( ... )