It's remember-LJ-exists-day!
So why don't I tell y'all about some crazy-ass dream I had.
Okay, so it starts out with me at the doctor for... Some shit, I dunno. Knowing my dreamself, I probably had Alan Rickman growing out of my belly button or something. Anyway, I needed to get an x-ray for said Rickman-itis, which for some reason I had to strip to my underwear for. But when I get back, I discover that all my shit has been moved out of the way because there's been a sudden influx of emergency patients or whatever and my shirt was nowhere to be found. And I, being a sensible young man, was like "BITCH GIMME MY SHIRT. IT WAS A GOOD SHIRT, GIVE IT THE FUCK BACK." (Even though it actually was a really stupid shirt, in retrospect. Purple with an orange monkey on it? Seriously, dreamself? You're the subconscious of a FASHION DESIGNER. That was the best you could do?) In any case, I decide I am not going to take this sitting down, and start off on this EPIC QUEST to find that goddamn shirt.
At some point I catch sight of a poster for some new vampire drama show that they're putting on, and because crazy dream logic, suddenly the vampire show is ACTUALLY WHAT IS HAPPENING. I'm sure there was a bunch of complex shit that had to do with what the vampires were doing, but I totally didn't give a shit, I was too busy trying to hunt down that shirt. At one point I start talking to a hot blonde vampire chick about some shit I forget about, but it turns out she might be able to help me find the shirt, so I start following her through the hospital which has now become a fancy-ass vampire mansion. So we're sort of falling/gliding down a giant staircase (I seem to enjoy fucking physics and gravity over in dreams,) when my fucking cell phone starts ringing.
I pick it up. It's one of my best bros who usually calls me all the time. So while I'm flying through Vampire Mansion I'm just like "Sup bro?" "Not much, 'sup with you?" "Oh, you know, just trying to get this vampire to show me where those bitch-ass doctors put my missing t-shirt- THERE IT IS!" And lo and behold, the stupid purple monkey shirt was sitting on this weird little shelf sticking out of the wall with plants on it, completely inaccessible except with massive amounts of effort even with the crazy dream gravity. So I'm like "I gotta go man, this is gonna be crazy hard," hang up the phone, just BARELY make the leap, and... Have to wake up. FUCK YOU INTERNAL CLOCK I WAS SO CLOSE TO THAT SHIRT I COULD TASTE IT.
More relevant posts may come at some future point. Until then, HAVE FUN ANALYZING THIS DARREN. I KNOW YOU GONNA.
Okay, so it starts out with me at the doctor for... Some shit, I dunno. Knowing my dreamself, I probably had Alan Rickman growing out of my belly button or something. Anyway, I needed to get an x-ray for said Rickman-itis, which for some reason I had to strip to my underwear for. But when I get back, I discover that all my shit has been moved out of the way because there's been a sudden influx of emergency patients or whatever and my shirt was nowhere to be found. And I, being a sensible young man, was like "BITCH GIMME MY SHIRT. IT WAS A GOOD SHIRT, GIVE IT THE FUCK BACK." (Even though it actually was a really stupid shirt, in retrospect. Purple with an orange monkey on it? Seriously, dreamself? You're the subconscious of a FASHION DESIGNER. That was the best you could do?) In any case, I decide I am not going to take this sitting down, and start off on this EPIC QUEST to find that goddamn shirt.
At some point I catch sight of a poster for some new vampire drama show that they're putting on, and because crazy dream logic, suddenly the vampire show is ACTUALLY WHAT IS HAPPENING. I'm sure there was a bunch of complex shit that had to do with what the vampires were doing, but I totally didn't give a shit, I was too busy trying to hunt down that shirt. At one point I start talking to a hot blonde vampire chick about some shit I forget about, but it turns out she might be able to help me find the shirt, so I start following her through the hospital which has now become a fancy-ass vampire mansion. So we're sort of falling/gliding down a giant staircase (I seem to enjoy fucking physics and gravity over in dreams,) when my fucking cell phone starts ringing.
I pick it up. It's one of my best bros who usually calls me all the time. So while I'm flying through Vampire Mansion I'm just like "Sup bro?" "Not much, 'sup with you?" "Oh, you know, just trying to get this vampire to show me where those bitch-ass doctors put my missing t-shirt- THERE IT IS!" And lo and behold, the stupid purple monkey shirt was sitting on this weird little shelf sticking out of the wall with plants on it, completely inaccessible except with massive amounts of effort even with the crazy dream gravity. So I'm like "I gotta go man, this is gonna be crazy hard," hang up the phone, just BARELY make the leap, and... Have to wake up. FUCK YOU INTERNAL CLOCK I WAS SO CLOSE TO THAT SHIRT I COULD TASTE IT.
More relevant posts may come at some future point. Until then, HAVE FUN ANALYZING THIS DARREN. I KNOW YOU GONNA.