in between saving of cds on the computer; i shall update
i could continue my schedule for you. around 10 i arrived at tanis. i forget what we did. monday we ..went to the mall. i didn't buy anything. but wanted some shirt from american eagle. tuesday we wanted to see fahrenheit 9/11, couldnt find anyone to come. so we had a movie night at tanis with about 18 people i didn't/barely knew. we watched spiderman. then zoolander. wednesday me tani vicky and maryellen went to the beach. very fun. we spent about an hour just watching these 4 really hot guys; well 3 were hot, one wasn't. we all think they were around 23, but we can look. and bjg- blow job grandpa. muahaha. later that night we went to katies with about 15 people.. i "knew" most of them from the night before, but you know. that was fun. minus the million bug bites.thursday we went to the mall then spiderman 2. which was wicked good. and i've become obsessed with toby mcguire ..but only with the glasses. one of the few people i can think of that are incredibly hot with glasses. after that we went to stevies for a minute then walked to nicks and saw signs. anndd friday we went to vickys. saw 13 ghosts. all in all a fun week.
today was okay. got home around 1. then i don't remember. went up to our cookout thing. and i still love ryan and jason because they're both adorable. so that was sorta fun. then we went to kellys cookout thingy and i accidently dropped the ice cream i bought from the ice cream man on my shirt. so it was all yucky. and i ended up taking my shirt off and just wearing my sweatshirt. i dont think i accidently unzipped it. then blah blah blah.. fireworks were okay. apparently people were getting mad about my loud comments of how some of them looked like sperm on their way up? weird. they did though. then we walked home at quarter past 11. saw tiff jacqui and ashley driving by, and they started beeping and yelling my name and stuff and scared me half to death
hmm, definitely something i wanted to say. can't think of it anymore. but i shut my finger in a toilet on wednesday (..it is possible, i forgot i was sitting on the seat so i couldnt hold it open with one finger SHUT UP) and my nails been sorta purple since then. almost completely better though. then today i checked if we had bug spray; so i said "does it work?" and um, accidently sprayed it all in my face. and started coughing/dying. and i opened my eyes and they burnt horribly. so i watered them and then took an asperin for my head ache. and my eye sight was sorta blurry for most of the rest of the night. i'll admit that it hurt a ton. ...this isn't what i wanted to write about. damn stupid things.
listening to konstantine because people have been talking about it a lot lately.. and then i'm staring at this picture. it says alone. and theres a knife. an arrow. a fork. an axe. scissors. an eye and 2 tears coming from it. and a broken heart dripping blood with the word broken above it. and it just got to the part about jimmy eat world, and the 11:11 part. i've been obsessing over them all week, and i caught the time at 11:11 tonight. just like always. repeat. its on repeat. look at me. its past 4 in the morning. i shouldn't be up. can you see through it? can you see through me? did you notice when i took that walk earlier? alone. following the fireworks. the illegal ones. alone. i drew this wednesday. but i'm not alone. i'm always with people. and a knife, an arrow, an axe, and scissors? i'm not hurting. the crying eye and broken heart.. but i'm not hurting. i'm not broken hearted. the fork? "i'll eat your heart out, so you can feel my pain" ..but there is no pain. because i seem happy. so i must be happy. correct?
i can't talk to you. theres nothing to talk about. it is just lonesomeness. and the desperate longing for something unknown. someone unknown. its love i need. but whats there to love about me. honestly. what is there.
...meh, if you can't tell. i'm in a really blah mood. but i tried to be as happy as i could today. and i will tomorrow. and no one will know. on a side note; i still really want to go to finch via my evil plan. it is possible; if you can't tell, this is probably the one thing i want most right now (that i know what it is and know how to get ..sorta) AND AHH I FORGOT TO MENTION! one word: puggle.
'this is what i want,this is what i need,this is exactly what i've been waiting for'
(aka list of stuff i'm looking forward to/really want)
-Senses Fail/My Chemical Romance on July 31
-Finch on 8/3-8/7
-Puggle! mommy said i need to name it because i'm great with names ..sometime in august
-I want a lover I don't have to love
-Warped tour and reunion show on 8/19-8/20
-again: finch on 8/3-8/7. i'm setting myself up for the greatest let down..
you know, i once said that when/if someones depressed.. find something to look forward to. an excuse to hold on. guess i made a list. what does that mean?
..i think it means once finch doesn't work out. i dunno. not good.
and on a side note: i never complain about being depressed or whatever. just because i mention it doesn't mean anything. temporary. don't worry. i hate when people worry about me. (edit: added- current music is just irony)
AND my computer ate clarity. it wont come back out. i saved about 12-15 cds though. not bad. for the exception of its 5:24 and my mom usually gets up at 5:30. best be going to bed now.
today was okay. got home around 1. then i don't remember. went up to our cookout thing. and i still love ryan and jason because they're both adorable. so that was sorta fun. then we went to kellys cookout thingy and i accidently dropped the ice cream i bought from the ice cream man on my shirt. so it was all yucky. and i ended up taking my shirt off and just wearing my sweatshirt. i dont think i accidently unzipped it. then blah blah blah.. fireworks were okay. apparently people were getting mad about my loud comments of how some of them looked like sperm on their way up? weird. they did though. then we walked home at quarter past 11. saw tiff jacqui and ashley driving by, and they started beeping and yelling my name and stuff and scared me half to death
hmm, definitely something i wanted to say. can't think of it anymore. but i shut my finger in a toilet on wednesday (..it is possible, i forgot i was sitting on the seat so i couldnt hold it open with one finger SHUT UP) and my nails been sorta purple since then. almost completely better though. then today i checked if we had bug spray; so i said "does it work?" and um, accidently sprayed it all in my face. and started coughing/dying. and i opened my eyes and they burnt horribly. so i watered them and then took an asperin for my head ache. and my eye sight was sorta blurry for most of the rest of the night. i'll admit that it hurt a ton. ...this isn't what i wanted to write about. damn stupid things.
listening to konstantine because people have been talking about it a lot lately.. and then i'm staring at this picture. it says alone. and theres a knife. an arrow. a fork. an axe. scissors. an eye and 2 tears coming from it. and a broken heart dripping blood with the word broken above it. and it just got to the part about jimmy eat world, and the 11:11 part. i've been obsessing over them all week, and i caught the time at 11:11 tonight. just like always. repeat. its on repeat. look at me. its past 4 in the morning. i shouldn't be up. can you see through it? can you see through me? did you notice when i took that walk earlier? alone. following the fireworks. the illegal ones. alone. i drew this wednesday. but i'm not alone. i'm always with people. and a knife, an arrow, an axe, and scissors? i'm not hurting. the crying eye and broken heart.. but i'm not hurting. i'm not broken hearted. the fork? "i'll eat your heart out, so you can feel my pain" ..but there is no pain. because i seem happy. so i must be happy. correct?
i can't talk to you. theres nothing to talk about. it is just lonesomeness. and the desperate longing for something unknown. someone unknown. its love i need. but whats there to love about me. honestly. what is there.
...meh, if you can't tell. i'm in a really blah mood. but i tried to be as happy as i could today. and i will tomorrow. and no one will know. on a side note; i still really want to go to finch via my evil plan. it is possible; if you can't tell, this is probably the one thing i want most right now (that i know what it is and know how to get ..sorta) AND AHH I FORGOT TO MENTION! one word: puggle.
'this is what i want,this is what i need,this is exactly what i've been waiting for'
(aka list of stuff i'm looking forward to/really want)
-Senses Fail/My Chemical Romance on July 31
-Finch on 8/3-8/7
-Puggle! mommy said i need to name it because i'm great with names ..sometime in august
-I want a lover I don't have to love
-Warped tour and reunion show on 8/19-8/20
-again: finch on 8/3-8/7. i'm setting myself up for the greatest let down..
you know, i once said that when/if someones depressed.. find something to look forward to. an excuse to hold on. guess i made a list. what does that mean?
..i think it means once finch doesn't work out. i dunno. not good.
and on a side note: i never complain about being depressed or whatever. just because i mention it doesn't mean anything. temporary. don't worry. i hate when people worry about me. (edit: added- current music is just irony)
AND my computer ate clarity. it wont come back out. i saved about 12-15 cds though. not bad. for the exception of its 5:24 and my mom usually gets up at 5:30. best be going to bed now.