Days Like Today
There were also days, when he didn’t see Hyde for awhile, that he could pretend that the women he took to his bed were enough, that they gave him what he needed. Sometimes he could even manage to pretend he hadn’t been helplessly in love with Hyde since Moon Child. And really, shouldn’t the fact that he’d written a character that fit Hyde perfectly been his first sign that maybe it wasn’t such a great idea? Anyway, some days he thought it would be okay just as it was.
Most days though, it was barely bearable, the pretending, but he knew he had to keep doing it, he couldn’t let his patented Gackt mask slip and ruin everything. He used to have the thought of Megumi to keep him from doing anything, but since Hyde’s divorce he didn’t have the solid bumper and things were harder than before. He had to continue to keep quiet… he was terrified he would say or do something and it would chase Hyde away from him forever. He knew that no matter how hard it was now, having no Hyde would be harder.
Then there were other days, the hardest days, when he thought he would never survive his charade. Days like today, days that were much more frequent since the divorce and Hyde wanted to be anywhere other than his empty apartment and often found himself crashing at Gackt’s house. Gackt wasn’t surprised when he opened the door, it had been a few days since he’d seen Hyde and he expected him to show up soon.
He wasn’t, however, expecting the sight that greeted him. Hyde’s hair was limp from having not washed it for a couple days; his eyes were dark from lack of sleep and a smear of eyeliner that hadn’t been washed away. And he was smiling in that special way that made Gackt breathless and his chest tight. Hyde was the single most beautiful thing he’d ever seen and all he wanted to do was gather him up and kiss him senseless, and then hold him close and protect him from everything else.
He bit his lip before he grinned and accepted his friend’s excited hug, “Haido, you look more terrible than usual,” he teased, “what on earth have you been up to?”
Hyde laughed as he pulled back from the embrace and Gackt turned to watch him move into his home and plop on the couch, “I finished a new song! And Gacchan, it’s brilliant! I really think it is; it might be the best I’ve ever written! I think it might be one of my songs that actually means something, one that pulls at your heart, y’know?” he said, talking fast in his excitement.
Gackt grinned at him, moving to sit next to him, “sounds wonderful, I suppose you’re going to tell me all about it?”
Hyde smiled and nodded, but before he could launch into his explanation Gackt stood and moved to the kitchen, “over food then, I have the feeling I’ll need the energy to keep up.”
Gackt smiled as he watched his friend chatting away between eating far more food then someone his size should be able to. He loved when Hyde was like this, excited about life and optimistic; knowing without a doubt that everything in the world would turn out exactly like it should.
It wasn’t long before Hyde’s excitement faded and his obvious lack of sleep caught up with him. After taking a shower he tried to stay up with Gackt, who watched him fight it for long moments before he finally gave in and let sleep take him. Waiting patiently until Hyde was sleeping deeply he moved over and gently picked him up, carrying him through his house and into what everyone knew was now Hyde’s room and gently tucked him into the covers of his bed.
He tortured himself by lingering a long moment, reaching over to gently brush back a piece of Hyde’s damp hair as he watched him. He wished to every god he could think of that he could lean over and press his lips to Hyde’s just once without ruining everything.
Days like today were the hardest, when he just wanted to drop his façade and tell him everything. Days like today made him remember why he loved him so much in the first place.
Well.. there ya go :D when i first planned this i was gonna make it a LOT longer.. but then it just wanted to end here and stand alone.. however I've got the rest planned out if you want it.. but you've got to tell me you want it! hehe.
Edit: so i finally added more, i wrote a part two (of four) Deliberate Discoveries in Hyde's POV
Most days though, it was barely bearable, the pretending, but he knew he had to keep doing it, he couldn’t let his patented Gackt mask slip and ruin everything. He used to have the thought of Megumi to keep him from doing anything, but since Hyde’s divorce he didn’t have the solid bumper and things were harder than before. He had to continue to keep quiet… he was terrified he would say or do something and it would chase Hyde away from him forever. He knew that no matter how hard it was now, having no Hyde would be harder.
Then there were other days, the hardest days, when he thought he would never survive his charade. Days like today, days that were much more frequent since the divorce and Hyde wanted to be anywhere other than his empty apartment and often found himself crashing at Gackt’s house. Gackt wasn’t surprised when he opened the door, it had been a few days since he’d seen Hyde and he expected him to show up soon.
He wasn’t, however, expecting the sight that greeted him. Hyde’s hair was limp from having not washed it for a couple days; his eyes were dark from lack of sleep and a smear of eyeliner that hadn’t been washed away. And he was smiling in that special way that made Gackt breathless and his chest tight. Hyde was the single most beautiful thing he’d ever seen and all he wanted to do was gather him up and kiss him senseless, and then hold him close and protect him from everything else.
He bit his lip before he grinned and accepted his friend’s excited hug, “Haido, you look more terrible than usual,” he teased, “what on earth have you been up to?”
Hyde laughed as he pulled back from the embrace and Gackt turned to watch him move into his home and plop on the couch, “I finished a new song! And Gacchan, it’s brilliant! I really think it is; it might be the best I’ve ever written! I think it might be one of my songs that actually means something, one that pulls at your heart, y’know?” he said, talking fast in his excitement.
Gackt grinned at him, moving to sit next to him, “sounds wonderful, I suppose you’re going to tell me all about it?”
Hyde smiled and nodded, but before he could launch into his explanation Gackt stood and moved to the kitchen, “over food then, I have the feeling I’ll need the energy to keep up.”
Gackt smiled as he watched his friend chatting away between eating far more food then someone his size should be able to. He loved when Hyde was like this, excited about life and optimistic; knowing without a doubt that everything in the world would turn out exactly like it should.
It wasn’t long before Hyde’s excitement faded and his obvious lack of sleep caught up with him. After taking a shower he tried to stay up with Gackt, who watched him fight it for long moments before he finally gave in and let sleep take him. Waiting patiently until Hyde was sleeping deeply he moved over and gently picked him up, carrying him through his house and into what everyone knew was now Hyde’s room and gently tucked him into the covers of his bed.
He tortured himself by lingering a long moment, reaching over to gently brush back a piece of Hyde’s damp hair as he watched him. He wished to every god he could think of that he could lean over and press his lips to Hyde’s just once without ruining everything.
Days like today were the hardest, when he just wanted to drop his façade and tell him everything. Days like today made him remember why he loved him so much in the first place.
Well.. there ya go :D when i first planned this i was gonna make it a LOT longer.. but then it just wanted to end here and stand alone.. however I've got the rest planned out if you want it.. but you've got to tell me you want it! hehe.
Edit: so i finally added more, i wrote a part two (of four) Deliberate Discoveries in Hyde's POV