Fic: Clouded
Title: Clouded
Author: fairymage
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle
Pairing: Touya/Yukito
Notes: Written for my 2006 Lyrics Fanfiction Challenge (though completed far after the finish date). Lyrics were: "Making love with you has left me peaceful, warm, and tired" (The Air That I Breathe by The Hollies), "Exposing the clouds behind your smile on a moonlit night" (CRESCENT MOON by Nakashima Mika), and "I loved the shy and embarrassed look on it" (Honey Comes by Sakamoto Maaya)
“Your-Touya?” a soft voice called as the door closed with a dull click.
Touya grinned as he turned to meet his friend, twisting his sitting position on the couch. “You know how I can tell it’s you? The sound you make when you walk-you’re the only one who wears robes longer than mine.” Yukito’s eyes lit up as he smiled, a little self-consciously, but there was laughter in his eyes too. “And you remembered to call me ‘Touya’. You’ve been getting better about it,” he teased, reaching up to tweak Yukito’s nose in affection.
Yukito smiled innocently, leaning over the back of the couch, long arms draped gracefully along the edge. “Well, I remember you said you don’t want me calling you ‘Your Majesty’ when we’re--“
“I know what I said!” Touya interjected hurriedly, blushing furiously from his neck to his hairline.
Yukito laughed softly. There was something pleasantly wonderful about catching the king off-guard. So often-no, all the time-Touya was busy addressing the concerns of his country, and in order to do so he needed to be stern, determined, and forceful. To make him laugh, to make him blush, to see him embarrassed, to make his eyes glow with warmth… These self-appointed tasks were the ones that the High Priest enjoyed the most.
Other than a candle burning in a delicate glass holder on the table, the royal bedchamber was bathed in darkness, shot through with silver moon and star light. Yukito wondered how long his king had been sitting in the dark, brooding. Touya was silent, stoic, perhaps, but certainly not the brooding type. When the room was plunged into darkness and he was alone, Yukito knew he was brooding.
And yet Touya liked to pretend everything was all right. Even though he knew that his best friend knew better than that.
Smiling weakly, he leaned back to study the high priest. “So… what brings you to these parts so early in the night?” he tried to joke, largely unsuccessfully.
Yukito could have let it slide, teased Touya back and made him blush again, but that wouldn’t change anything. The demons that plagued him, the clouds behind his smile, wouldn’t go away or disperse simply because they ignored them. Yukito was the only person who knew about them. He was the only one who stood any chance to ridding Touya of them.
“What is it now?” he asked, not accusingly or curiously, almost a statement of fact.
“Nothing,” Touya replied idly, leaning forward and away from the high priest, long fingers tracing the rim of the candle dish. He was smart enough to know he couldn’t evade his friend, but secretive enough to avoid the point as long as possible.
“Which is it, Sakura-hime or the present and future state of the kingdom?” Yukito rephrased the question, completely serious.
“Are they ever separate?” Touya demanded, frustrated. He was frowning at the flickering candle, watching as the pale light quivered and dipped with every breath.
“Yes,” Yukito answered calmly, standing, bringing his hands to rest one atop the other, eyes dark and serious. “If you’re worrying about Sakura-hime, you’re worrying about what is happening to her. You’re wondering what world she is in, if she is alive, when she will return. You are wondering how she has changed, how she has grown up without you, what she will bring back. You are wondering if she will return.
“But if you’re worrying about the future of the kingdom, you are wondering when you will die. You are wondering what you should do about the now ordinary and mundane tasks of running your kingdom, which once seemed so potentially life-altering. You are wondering who to name as your heir if necessary. You are wondering if you should take a wife, for the sake of your kingdom. You-“
“You know I wouldn’t think that,” Touya snapped sourly.
“Really?” Yukito asked, studying his king and lover. “Would you do that, Touya? Would you ever be able to put your personal life above even your kingdom?”
Touya scowled and was silent. He was hurt by the tone of Yukito’s voice, not because it was filled with anger or betrayal, but because he knew he spoke only truth. As king he had promised to protect and care for his country, and he had too much honor, too much integrity to go back on that promise. Even if it meant ruining everything, even if it meant the pain of leaving Yukito and the relationship that had been developing between them since they were children.
“Nevertheless,” Yukito continued, reaching out to rub Touya’s shoulder comfortingly, tone softening, “they are very different concerns, Touya. So which is it now?”
“Everything.”
“We’ve been through this before. I can advise you, I can help you decide what to do about domestic and foreign affairs of state. I cannot tell you where Sakura-hime is, or when she will return. I’ve told you that I am confident that she will. I cannot tell you what to do about the line of inheritance. It would be quite a conflict of interests,” he explained, smiling gently as Touya looked over his shoulder at him once more.
“Yukito?”
“Yes?”
“Will you help me go over the pending legislation tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow?”
“Yes, why? I want to have it done before the council session on Monday morning.”
“Because tomorrow’s Sunday… and I wanted to sleep in.”
“We can do it in the afternoon.”
“But in the afternoon-“
“We can still have tea, but we’ll work on the legislation during it.”
“Touya?”
“Yes?”
“Can we work this out later? Tomorrow morning, later?”
“Sure, I guess, but w-“
Yukito leaned over and kissed him gently. “Because I want to go to bed with you now,” he whispered as he pulled away, reveling in the blush that spread over Touya’s cheeks.
They were gentle, almost shy lovers. Yukito shifted against the soft sheets and pillows, situating himself in his favored position. Touya watched, absently petting his lover’s pale hair, their bare legs tangling together beneath soft cotton sheets and the warm winter quilt.
It was slow, and loving, and satisfying. Soft pale skin slid like silk against darker skin, hands calloused by swords caressed every inch of the long, lean body beneath his. The whispers of voices and unspoken promises and cloth and stars shrouded them, protecting them from the realities they feared. They held each other firmly, safely, rubbing circles on each other’s skin for comfort. They kissed to ease pain, to erase consciousness, to make vows that they could never utter aloud.
When they were done they lay front to back, Touya’s arms wrapped around Yukito’s waist, chin resting on Yukito’s shoulder, breath falling evenly and comfortingly on Yukito’s neck. He twined the fingers of one hand in Touya’s, using the other to draw the sheets and quilt up around them. Touya was already nearly asleep, murmuring objections to Yukito’s movement. Their bodies pressed together, snuggled down against pillows and blankets, were warm, despite the cold, dark night outside.
And as they drifted off to sleep together, neither was thinking of the legislation they had promised to review the next day. They were not thinking of what hour they should wake to begin work, or how many more days they could wait for Sakura-hime to return. In those rare, precious moments as they closed their eyes and held each other, they selfishly released their concerns and thought only of themselves, only of each other, only of the fleeting perfection of those slow breaths and unconscious smiles and fingers linked together in promises they could only fight to keep.
They dreamed of moonlight and starlight and a candle flickering in a glass holder on a table, and of warmth and peace and safety, and of a night when there were no clouds in the sky, no clouds in their eyes, no clouds in their smiles.
Author: fairymage
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle
Pairing: Touya/Yukito
Notes: Written for my 2006 Lyrics Fanfiction Challenge (though completed far after the finish date). Lyrics were: "Making love with you has left me peaceful, warm, and tired" (The Air That I Breathe by The Hollies), "Exposing the clouds behind your smile on a moonlit night" (CRESCENT MOON by Nakashima Mika), and "I loved the shy and embarrassed look on it" (Honey Comes by Sakamoto Maaya)
“Your-Touya?” a soft voice called as the door closed with a dull click.
Touya grinned as he turned to meet his friend, twisting his sitting position on the couch. “You know how I can tell it’s you? The sound you make when you walk-you’re the only one who wears robes longer than mine.” Yukito’s eyes lit up as he smiled, a little self-consciously, but there was laughter in his eyes too. “And you remembered to call me ‘Touya’. You’ve been getting better about it,” he teased, reaching up to tweak Yukito’s nose in affection.
Yukito smiled innocently, leaning over the back of the couch, long arms draped gracefully along the edge. “Well, I remember you said you don’t want me calling you ‘Your Majesty’ when we’re--“
“I know what I said!” Touya interjected hurriedly, blushing furiously from his neck to his hairline.
Yukito laughed softly. There was something pleasantly wonderful about catching the king off-guard. So often-no, all the time-Touya was busy addressing the concerns of his country, and in order to do so he needed to be stern, determined, and forceful. To make him laugh, to make him blush, to see him embarrassed, to make his eyes glow with warmth… These self-appointed tasks were the ones that the High Priest enjoyed the most.
Other than a candle burning in a delicate glass holder on the table, the royal bedchamber was bathed in darkness, shot through with silver moon and star light. Yukito wondered how long his king had been sitting in the dark, brooding. Touya was silent, stoic, perhaps, but certainly not the brooding type. When the room was plunged into darkness and he was alone, Yukito knew he was brooding.
And yet Touya liked to pretend everything was all right. Even though he knew that his best friend knew better than that.
Smiling weakly, he leaned back to study the high priest. “So… what brings you to these parts so early in the night?” he tried to joke, largely unsuccessfully.
Yukito could have let it slide, teased Touya back and made him blush again, but that wouldn’t change anything. The demons that plagued him, the clouds behind his smile, wouldn’t go away or disperse simply because they ignored them. Yukito was the only person who knew about them. He was the only one who stood any chance to ridding Touya of them.
“What is it now?” he asked, not accusingly or curiously, almost a statement of fact.
“Nothing,” Touya replied idly, leaning forward and away from the high priest, long fingers tracing the rim of the candle dish. He was smart enough to know he couldn’t evade his friend, but secretive enough to avoid the point as long as possible.
“Which is it, Sakura-hime or the present and future state of the kingdom?” Yukito rephrased the question, completely serious.
“Are they ever separate?” Touya demanded, frustrated. He was frowning at the flickering candle, watching as the pale light quivered and dipped with every breath.
“Yes,” Yukito answered calmly, standing, bringing his hands to rest one atop the other, eyes dark and serious. “If you’re worrying about Sakura-hime, you’re worrying about what is happening to her. You’re wondering what world she is in, if she is alive, when she will return. You are wondering how she has changed, how she has grown up without you, what she will bring back. You are wondering if she will return.
“But if you’re worrying about the future of the kingdom, you are wondering when you will die. You are wondering what you should do about the now ordinary and mundane tasks of running your kingdom, which once seemed so potentially life-altering. You are wondering who to name as your heir if necessary. You are wondering if you should take a wife, for the sake of your kingdom. You-“
“You know I wouldn’t think that,” Touya snapped sourly.
“Really?” Yukito asked, studying his king and lover. “Would you do that, Touya? Would you ever be able to put your personal life above even your kingdom?”
Touya scowled and was silent. He was hurt by the tone of Yukito’s voice, not because it was filled with anger or betrayal, but because he knew he spoke only truth. As king he had promised to protect and care for his country, and he had too much honor, too much integrity to go back on that promise. Even if it meant ruining everything, even if it meant the pain of leaving Yukito and the relationship that had been developing between them since they were children.
“Nevertheless,” Yukito continued, reaching out to rub Touya’s shoulder comfortingly, tone softening, “they are very different concerns, Touya. So which is it now?”
“Everything.”
“We’ve been through this before. I can advise you, I can help you decide what to do about domestic and foreign affairs of state. I cannot tell you where Sakura-hime is, or when she will return. I’ve told you that I am confident that she will. I cannot tell you what to do about the line of inheritance. It would be quite a conflict of interests,” he explained, smiling gently as Touya looked over his shoulder at him once more.
“Yukito?”
“Yes?”
“Will you help me go over the pending legislation tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow?”
“Yes, why? I want to have it done before the council session on Monday morning.”
“Because tomorrow’s Sunday… and I wanted to sleep in.”
“We can do it in the afternoon.”
“But in the afternoon-“
“We can still have tea, but we’ll work on the legislation during it.”
“Touya?”
“Yes?”
“Can we work this out later? Tomorrow morning, later?”
“Sure, I guess, but w-“
Yukito leaned over and kissed him gently. “Because I want to go to bed with you now,” he whispered as he pulled away, reveling in the blush that spread over Touya’s cheeks.
They were gentle, almost shy lovers. Yukito shifted against the soft sheets and pillows, situating himself in his favored position. Touya watched, absently petting his lover’s pale hair, their bare legs tangling together beneath soft cotton sheets and the warm winter quilt.
It was slow, and loving, and satisfying. Soft pale skin slid like silk against darker skin, hands calloused by swords caressed every inch of the long, lean body beneath his. The whispers of voices and unspoken promises and cloth and stars shrouded them, protecting them from the realities they feared. They held each other firmly, safely, rubbing circles on each other’s skin for comfort. They kissed to ease pain, to erase consciousness, to make vows that they could never utter aloud.
When they were done they lay front to back, Touya’s arms wrapped around Yukito’s waist, chin resting on Yukito’s shoulder, breath falling evenly and comfortingly on Yukito’s neck. He twined the fingers of one hand in Touya’s, using the other to draw the sheets and quilt up around them. Touya was already nearly asleep, murmuring objections to Yukito’s movement. Their bodies pressed together, snuggled down against pillows and blankets, were warm, despite the cold, dark night outside.
And as they drifted off to sleep together, neither was thinking of the legislation they had promised to review the next day. They were not thinking of what hour they should wake to begin work, or how many more days they could wait for Sakura-hime to return. In those rare, precious moments as they closed their eyes and held each other, they selfishly released their concerns and thought only of themselves, only of each other, only of the fleeting perfection of those slow breaths and unconscious smiles and fingers linked together in promises they could only fight to keep.
They dreamed of moonlight and starlight and a candle flickering in a glass holder on a table, and of warmth and peace and safety, and of a night when there were no clouds in the sky, no clouds in their eyes, no clouds in their smiles.