On swords, violence, and victim culture.

[faithinfire]

This is a slightly cleaned-up version of something that I wrote earlier tonight on 750words and decided I wanted to share. I'm not sure how controversial it may turn out to be, but it's several 2ps on several vexed subjects. Swords, self-defence, and why I don't like the way I was raised.

*****

Comments

[nephthys_abode]

I don't have the words to express what a powerful piece of writing this is.

But I love it unreservedly.

[faithinfire]

Thank you. <3

[faithinfire]

Thank you! <3

*googles* And oooh, lucky you, you're living in the city with the biggest western martial arts academy in the world. This looks like a far more professional level of training in the same stuff that I do in a borrowed rifle range with a few friends. Get in there! :)

[princess_kessie]

*standing ovation*

Moving, powerful, empowering, encouraging - just plain awesome.

And this piece of writing is not far behind ;)

Seriously, thank you for posting this. We just need more women to read it. Ever thought of submitting it to somewhere it might get a few million eyes on it?

[faithinfire]

Thank you. <3

And if you can think of anywhere I could submit it, or if you'd like to repost or share it anywhere, please do! It's an open post and I'm happy for more people to see it. :)

[hellbound_heart]

There's something to much of what you say, but as a diminuitive woman who *has* been beaten up by a man approximately double her body weight, and tried to fight back, do I think it would all have been better if I'd have punched him in the nose that bit harder? I don't, really. I did years of self-defence and martial arts training and was trained how to fight - I can throw a punch, and a kick for that matter - but ultimately in the heat of the moment, I came unstuck because I wasn't the aggressor. I was surprised, I was shocked and before I knew it, I was on the floor. Beyond any reference to gender, that's what gets people. I'd like to say I think running the fuck away is a valid response to this situation for everyone if they have that moment of realisation that they're not going to come out of the situation well (and I believe men are more likely statistically to be the victim of an unprovoked physical assault? Don't quote me on that for now

[faithinfire]

Well, this was supposed to be an empowerment post, and the thing about empowerment is that it's the art of encouraging people to aim ten feet higher so that they have a fair chance of hitting something five feet higher. This is an ideal being formulated - to load it down with qualifiers and counter-examples would rob it of its chance to make an impact. That's what the comments are for, so thanks for turning up and commenting...

I'd like to say I think running the fuck away is a valid response to this situation for everyone if they have that moment of realisation that they're not going to come out of the situation well

Oh, agreed. If you look at the situation and go "not gonna win this one" then by all means run. That's just common sense. What I don't support, and am arguing against here, is letting people grow up with a mindset such that ALL fights they get into will fall into the "not gonna win this" category. A fair chance half the time is a lot better than no chance ever.

(and I believe men are more likely statistically to be

[anglonemi]

Having been in situations where I would have liked to have given more than I got but somehow couldn't, not because I was outmatched physically but because there was that mental block, I totally agree with this article. I've been called violent and aggressive before because of my tendency to speak waspishly and (very) occasionally slap people upside the head when they're being nobs. I once scratched someone's arm to get their hand off my throat and was told by that person (male) that this made me the worse physical abuser.

This is where the problem lies, as you describe. The idea that a woman fighting back is so unacceptable to many power-hungry inadequates that the idea of a woman fighting full stop is completely alien.

[faithinfire]

*nods* Thanks for the solidarity, and it doesn't surprise me at all that you'd be agreeing with me to be honest. *hugs* And I find it very telling that you, with your tough, can-take-care-of-myself, don't-fuck-with-me demeanour, even you should have that same mental block I'm talking about. This is the problem. Even women who've trained themselves to look and act tough as a sort of protective colouration often can't back it up when the chips are down, because we've only pasted that attitude on over the socially-conditioned victim mentality that's still underneath...

I'm getting the sense that there's an entire other essay's worth of thoughts under here, so I'll go away and let that percolate, I think! Cheers for the feedback, anyway. <3

Thanks, I think...

[anglonemi]

I think it's a sign of how deep the mental block goes that while I'm partially flattered at the description of my "tough, can-take-care-of-myself, don't-fuck-with-me demeanour" that I'm automatically worried that people view me as threatening or overtly aggressive, when that's not the case. I'll tell people what-for sometimes but I don't threaten people with realistic violence or offer anyone outside. I think telling someone you'll hang them out of the window by their knees is funny and most people see it as such since it's blatantly apparent it's not going to happen.

My demeanour may be "don't fuck with me" but the reality is more "don't fuck with me, no, REALLY don't fuck with me because if you start on me I will either leg it and you'll catch up, scream, hit the deck, try and fight back but be rubbish at it, and ultimately get my head kicked in and have to call the police..."

Re: Thanks, I think...

[faithinfire]

*hugs* I meant it as a compliment, for what it's worth. It's something I admire and respect in you. The fact that you're afraid people will see it as a flaw speaks volumes for how much society pressures us to present as weak, and as potential victims.

"don't fuck with me, no, REALLY don't fuck with me because if you start on me I will either leg it and you'll catch up, scream, hit the deck, try and fight back but be rubbish at it, and ultimately get my head kicked in and have to call the police..."

Perfect summary of the entire problem right there. If we lived in the same city I'd suggest going to martial arts classes together... <3