Fic
Title - Poisoned
Fandom - Once Upon a Time
Pairing - Emma/Regina
Rating - PG13
AN - Set during An Apple Red as Blood and follows my drabbles, Mirror Mirror, This Provincial Life, Viviane or Nimue, Dreams and Wishes, All the Better to…., Magic Keys, Curiouser and Curiouser, Snow Blind, Spinning Straw and Wooden Hearts
Poisoned
She doesn’t dream a lot. Dreams are for those who are naive enough to have hope, for those who do not understand that they have no say in their fate. Dreams are for the weak. When she does dream it comes in the form of a nightmare. Nightmares are different. They don’t discriminate. They come to one and all because while not everyone is foolish enough to believe that life can be better everyone fears that it could be worse.
The nightmare tonight is just a variation on a theme but it is worse than usual. Regina only dreams of two things. She dreams of Daniel and she dreams of the failure of the curse. Usually she finds the dreams about the stable boy worse. She shouldn’t, she has had them longer and they only show an outcome that has already happened, but they prey on the major chink in her armour. They prey on the girl she used to be. Most of the time that girl is as dead and buried as Daniel is but in the land of sleep she is alive and well. She appears in dreams to remind Regina that used to be different, that she used to be better. The opinions of the ghost girl get to her in a way no else’s judgement ever could.
This dream was not about Daniel but it has had the same impact. It has left her feeling vulnerable and uncertain. It is never easy for Regina to face the fact that the curse might fail but to have Emma end things with a sword was unbearable. Regina doesn’t fear death, in a way she would welcome it, but she doesn’t want to die with Emma thinking ill of her. The blackness that the dream Emma held in her hand, the blackness that Regina knows lives inside of her, is something that she never wanted Emma to see.
When she woke from the nightmare she felt displaced and she wished that Emma was still there. She knew that she was alone. She had stirred earlier and found that the warmth of Emma’s arms had been replaced by the cool of satin sheets and she knew that it was over, that Emma was gone. Regina didn’t cry, she felt too numb too cry, but she did do something that she never thought she would do. She removed the ring from around her neck and placed it on the bedside table.
She had then turned away and stared at the opposite wall because she was not going to lie there looking at the ring. She had given most of her life to the mourning of Daniel the least she could do was give Emma one night.
The dream still doesn’t make sense to her. Emma didn’t need to pierce Regina’s heart with a sword because she’d already torn it out by leaving. The leaving was painful but it was right. It was better for all of them. Regina knew that her life would be empty without Emma but at least if Emma left if wouldn’t fall apart.
She needed to be sure that the dream wasn’t prophetic and so she ran to Henry’s room and what she saw changed everything. Her initial and instinctual relief at seeing him was quickly replaced with fear. If Henry was here then Emma hadn’t gone and if Emma hadn’t gone then everything that Regina had worked for was in danger.
It was clear that she couldn’t trust Emma to leave and because of that Regina had lost the simple solution to her problem. A new plan needed to be formulated. The one upside of the situation is that she will get to keep Henry. It’s probably not an option that he would be excited by but Regina loves her son and knowing that he will be with her makes it a little to easier to face the fact that she can’t have Emma.
Emma has become a major obstacle and she needs to be dealt with. Regina has had a lot of experience with obstacles and she knows how to deal with them swiftly, ruthlessly and decisively. Those options aren’t open to her when it comes to Emma. She can’t kill Emma. It’s not just because that’s not who she wants to be and it’s not even because in doing so she would both lose Henry forever and break the curse. It’s true that she couldn’t survive either of those things but it’s also true that she couldn’t live with being responsible for Emma’s death.
Desperate times lead to desperate measures and so she seeks out Jefferson. Dealing with him makes her feel uncomfortable. It’s a little too familiar and way too easy for her to slip into the role of tormentor. It is everything she swore she would not do. It makes her worry that despite her best efforts she hasn’t changed at all, she is nothing but evil. It doesn’t even matter now because there is no going back. The tree is dying and Emma is beyond her reach. Whatever they had, whatever she thought they had, it wasn’t enough. The darkness that tainted her when Daniel died consumes everything and her relationship with Emma is no exception.
She hates having to deal with Jefferson and his special brand of crazy but he was the only choice. Gold couldn’t, or at least wouldn’t, help her but that’s probably for the best. Going to him because her tree was dying had been a mistake. In doing so she showed Gold more of her cards than was sensible or safe. Gold is snake who can not be trusted and she is fairly certain that he wants the curse to break. She wonders if he designed it with the certainty that Regina would play her part - that she would kill the saviour. If that is the case he has made a grave mistake because Emma is one of the few people that she could never kill.
The hatter is definitely the lesser of two evils. He, at least, can be manipulated. His love for his daughter gives Regina a weakness to exploit. It’s a weakness that she understands because it’s a weakness that she shares.
He annoys her by telling her that remembering is the worst curse - he doesn’t need to tell her that, she knows better than anyone the burden of memory. She has born it for twenty-eight years and after she deals with Emma she will carry another burden for all of eternity.
His help comes with a price, one that’s a lot higher than she had expected to pay, and she almost can’t go through with it. He is asking her to give up the last of magic which would be a hefty price in and of itself but what she is sacrificing represents so much more. She hesitates but in the end she reaches into her pocket and pulls out the ring.
It seems strange to see her ring without the chain but she found that she couldn’t put it on this morning. It burnt to have it close to her skin. It seemed angry at her for removing it, for letting go of Daniel, even if it was only for a few hours.
She throws the ring into the hat and it feels fitting. She tells herself she doesn’t need it anymore, that what she is doing is the end of everything that is good about her and she doesn’t need tokens that belong to girl who is long gone. It turns out that not caring is easier said than done because when the hat doesn’t do what it should she feels murderous. She wants to kill both Jefferson and herself. She has given the last of Daniel away for nothing and the rage inside her cannot be contained.
She’s contemplating the ways in which she will make Jefferson suffer when the reprieve is given. The magic that the ring holds, the magic her love helped make, is small but it is real. Regina reaches into the hat and destroys any chance of finding that magic again. She gives up the ring to take the apple. In one foul swoop she loses her magic, her past and her future. She betrays Daniel in order to betray Emma. An eye for an eye. A love for a love. It seems a fair exchange.
There is nothing left to do now but focus on the apple and the task that needs to be completed. The task she articulates clearly when she rhetorically asks, “How to get the saviour to taste my forbidden fruit?” The words she uses are important. They are carefully chosen. Getting Emma to take an apple from her willingly wouldn’t be all that hard but this moment is about the queen and the saviour. It’s not about the mayor and the sheriff and it is most certainly not about Regina and Emma.
Ironically making the turnover makes her feel more like herself than she has since Emma arrived. As it cooks a sweet scent fills the kitchen and amongst its notes she can smell, if not victory, at least the end. She thinks about Mary Margaret and is determined not to be thwarted this time. The apple will do what it failed to do decades before. It will destroy Snow.
Sooner or later the curse will break, Regina is certain of that fact. Her actions aren’t about stopping the inevitable they are about removing Emma from the equation. Emma will not watch world change. She will sleep through Regina’s personal Armageddon. Emma will dream forever and Regina will be by her side.
Snow will not be so lucky. The veil will fall form Snow’s eyes and she will know the true pain of having lost her daughter. Regina is not an idiot she knows who Emma is, she is a little embarrassed that she hasn’t always known. The arrival of Snow’s child was announced with the ticking of the clock and yet somehow Regina failed to realise the significance of that event.
Regina is actually pleased that she didn’t know before now, pleased that what she had with Emma wasn’t influenced by Emma’s lineage. Her feelings for Emma are strong and they are real. That is something that she would not have been able to say if she’d have known that Emma was Snow’s child. In the end Snow may have ruined everything, as she always does, but even Snow can’t take Regina’s brief time with Emma away from her.
She won’t pretend that she doesn’t find a sense of enjoyment in the idea of depriving Snow of time with her child. Regina plans to take great delight in reminding Snow of what she has missed out on. She could probably hurt Snow a whole lot more by letting her know the kind of a relationship her enemy shared with her daughter but that is not for Snow to know. What Regina had with Emma was special and she won’t debase it by turning it into a weapon. Regina is not better than many things but she is better than that.
The turnover seems to be taking longer to cook than usual. Regina is starting to think that it is defying her on purpose. She tries to distract herself, tries to keep her anger in check, by thinking of what she will say to Emma when she calls to invite her over. The rehearsals in her head come to naught though because Emma beats her to the punch.
The moment she hears the doorbell ring she knows who is outside. She could write it off as fate or divine providence but the sad reality is that there are very few people who come calling on her.
On her way to open the door she has a vivid flashback to her dream. The parallels are undeniable. The means will be different but the ends will be the same. Her destruction will come with an apple rather than a sword but she will be destroyed just the same.
Emma coming here was inevitable, Regina was going to make it happen, but she can’t stop thinking about the coincidence of Emma arriving just as she was about to call her. It feels significant somehow. They are connected to one another in a way that has nothing to do with the curse. The connection is about them, about how they feel, and it’s so unfair that she can’t keep it.
She opens the door and they begin their final dance.
“We need to talk,” Emma states and wins some points for brevity.
“Yes I imagine we do,” Regina replies but she knows that what’s important will be what goes unsaid. “I was just about to call you. Come right in.”
Regina watches as Emma as enters and feels a burst of anger. The anger is both irrational and misplaced because it’s not really Emma’s fault that she is acting way too calmly for a women who is about to be poisoned. “Do what you’re so skilled at and make yourself at home,” she says sarcastically as she moves to join Emma.
When Emma continues to stand there mute and oblivious Regina is forced to remind her that, “I believe you came to see me.”
“Right. Look. This isn’t easy. I think that this….whatever… is between us has to end.” Emma looks uncomfortable but Regina can not allow that to get to her.
“At last something we can agree on.”
“I want to make a deal with you about Henry.”
“I’m not making any deals with you.” The time for deals is over. Besides Regina has already made more deals than she can handle today.
“I’m leaving town.”
“What?” She can’t begin to explain how much this hurts. It’s not as though she didn’t think it was going to happen, in fact only this morning she was sure that it already had, but the timing of Emma’s announcement could not be worse.
“This….what we’re doing is a problem,” Emma says and Regina nearly laughs because for Regina love has never been anything other than a problem, “and I’m gonna go but I have conditions. I still get to see Henry, I get to visit and spend time. Whatever.”
“And you get to see him, you’re still in his life,” but apparently not in mine Regina thinks.
“Look, in any deal both parties are a little unhappy,” to Regina that seems like brutal way for Emma to describe the end of their relationship, “but let’s be honest we both know the world where I’m not in his life no longer exists and there’s no one who can do anything about that.”
Regain begs to differ with Emma’s assessment of the situation. It’s not the reason she is going to give Emma the apple but it certainly helps her to want to use it. The tragedy is that Emma’s plan holds merit and it’s difficult for Regina not to accept the deal.
It could work; she could send Henry to Emma for visits. It might actually help her son to think better of her and more importantly if Emma left the curse would not be jeopardy. She can’t let it happen though. She can’t just let Emma leave, not when she has given up her last connection to Daniel.
The decision was already made for her when she gave Jefferson the ring. It’s impossible for her to accept the deal but she has to pretend to go along with it, “You’re right. Would you mind following me for a moment?” Regina asks as she gestures towards the kitchen.
Emma doesn’t object which makes things a little easier. Regina is glad about that because things are already difficult enough. She has to force her hands to stop shaking as she takes the turnover out and it requires considerable effort to keep her voice casual as she asks, “So what are you proposing?”
“I don’t know. Just figure it out as we go.”
“But he’s my son.” There is no denying that Regina has issued a challenge. You can feel it in the air. It’s sad that the challenge has to be over Henry, not because he shouldn’t be used in that way, parents do that all the time, but because they have something bigger between them. Something that means more than curses and ancient grudges but is being squashed under the weight of those things none the less.
Emma crumbles and concedes with a simple, “Yeah.”
That small victory should make Regina feel happy but it doesn’t. In fact it makes her feel like her life is over. Emma may not have swallowed the poison yet but she already gone. It’s time for Regina to finish the job.
“Oh Miss Swan,” Regina calls and Emma comes back into the kitchen. “Maybe a little something for the road.” Regina places the turnover into a container and places a large nail in two coffins, hers and Emma’s, as though it is nothing.
“Thanks.”
“If we are going to be in each other’s lives it’s time we start being cordial.” To Regina they feel like the personification of cliqued divorced parents. The saddest thing about that is that they didn’t have much of a marriage. Sadder still is fact that what they did have was infinitely better than Regina’s previous marriage. “My famous turnovers. Old recipe but delicious.”
Emma looks reluctant to take the dish. Regina doesn’t think Emma has an inkling about the poisoned fruit but rather that Emma feels the poison of the moment. That if Emma takes the turnover she is saying that this is it, this is what they are - forced niceties and awkward silences. What they had will be lost, they will really be over. It makes Regina want to take the offer back. She wants to drop the plastic and the poison on the ground and take Emma to bed.
They hold one another’s eyes and it is nearly Regina’s undoing. She feels the energy surge between them and it almost pulls her towards Emma but then Emma closes her eyes and says, “Thank you,” and the spell is broken. It’s too late. Their time has past.
“I do hope you like apples.”
Emma gives a small shake of her head. It’s not a rejection of apples but Regina’s not entirely sure what it’s about. She could have left it like that. She could have allowed Emma to leave but apparently Regina doesn’t know how to let sleeping dogs lie. She runs after Emma and stops her at the door.
Emma smiles at her and while the smile is deep it is also seems uncertain. “For a minute there I was worried that you were going to let me leave without saying goodbye.”
“I thought we’d already said our goodbyes. I thought that’s what last night was all about.”
Emma’s eyes drift towards the ceiling. “It was meant to be. I was going to leave. I was going to take Henry with me.”
“I know,” she confirms.
“I still don’t know why I didn’t.” Emma reaches out and toys with Regina’s hair. “I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to leave you.
Regina leans forward and it feels like everything is going in slow motion. She can feel Emma’s breath on her face and is preparing for the moment that their lips will touch when Emma steps back. “You’re wrong, you know,” Emma tells her. Right now Regina doesn’t really care about right and wrong. All she cares about is the kiss that was stolen from her.
She tries to reclaim the kiss but Emma places a hand on her chest and tears can be heard in Emma’s voice as she says, “Last night when you said you knew that I didn’t love you, you were wrong. I love you very much but I can’t do this. I can’t be in a relationship where I am only one who is in love.”
Regina could easily dissuade Emma of that notion but what good would it do? She is going to take the world from Emma the least she can do is let Emma feel that she has ended the relationship on her terms. “I understand.”
Emma traces her fingers over Regina’s face, “I hate how much I am going to miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too,” Regina says knowing what an incredible understatement that really is. She is literally going to spend forever missing Emma.
“I’m going to go now.”
“Okay,” Regina replies and earns herself a kiss on the forehead. “What was that for?”
“For not trying to stop me.”
“Does it still deserve the kiss if I tell you that I wanted to stop you?”
“If that’s the case it deserves a real kiss.” Emma touches her lips to Regina’s and Regina’s eyes automatically close.
Her eyes are still closed when she hears the door shut behind Emma. It is tempting to collapse against the door but she doesn’t want to stay so close to the last spot she will ever see a walking, talking Emma.
She goes to the only place that she can think of and when she gets there she sinks to the ground below her tree. Regina runs her hand over the bark behind her and lets the tree know, “You are going to be ok now.”
Regina didn’t think she was going to cry. To be honest she thought the time for tears had past but she cries in earnest when she realises that she has finally won. Her tree will survive, the curse will stand and Storybroke will remain hers. She is victor but she doesn’t feel victorious. Her mind tells her that she has won but her heart knows better. It knows the truth. Know she has lost. Knows she is lost.
Fandom - Once Upon a Time
Pairing - Emma/Regina
Rating - PG13
AN - Set during An Apple Red as Blood and follows my drabbles, Mirror Mirror, This Provincial Life, Viviane or Nimue, Dreams and Wishes, All the Better to…., Magic Keys, Curiouser and Curiouser, Snow Blind, Spinning Straw and Wooden Hearts
Poisoned
She doesn’t dream a lot. Dreams are for those who are naive enough to have hope, for those who do not understand that they have no say in their fate. Dreams are for the weak. When she does dream it comes in the form of a nightmare. Nightmares are different. They don’t discriminate. They come to one and all because while not everyone is foolish enough to believe that life can be better everyone fears that it could be worse.
The nightmare tonight is just a variation on a theme but it is worse than usual. Regina only dreams of two things. She dreams of Daniel and she dreams of the failure of the curse. Usually she finds the dreams about the stable boy worse. She shouldn’t, she has had them longer and they only show an outcome that has already happened, but they prey on the major chink in her armour. They prey on the girl she used to be. Most of the time that girl is as dead and buried as Daniel is but in the land of sleep she is alive and well. She appears in dreams to remind Regina that used to be different, that she used to be better. The opinions of the ghost girl get to her in a way no else’s judgement ever could.
This dream was not about Daniel but it has had the same impact. It has left her feeling vulnerable and uncertain. It is never easy for Regina to face the fact that the curse might fail but to have Emma end things with a sword was unbearable. Regina doesn’t fear death, in a way she would welcome it, but she doesn’t want to die with Emma thinking ill of her. The blackness that the dream Emma held in her hand, the blackness that Regina knows lives inside of her, is something that she never wanted Emma to see.
When she woke from the nightmare she felt displaced and she wished that Emma was still there. She knew that she was alone. She had stirred earlier and found that the warmth of Emma’s arms had been replaced by the cool of satin sheets and she knew that it was over, that Emma was gone. Regina didn’t cry, she felt too numb too cry, but she did do something that she never thought she would do. She removed the ring from around her neck and placed it on the bedside table.
She had then turned away and stared at the opposite wall because she was not going to lie there looking at the ring. She had given most of her life to the mourning of Daniel the least she could do was give Emma one night.
The dream still doesn’t make sense to her. Emma didn’t need to pierce Regina’s heart with a sword because she’d already torn it out by leaving. The leaving was painful but it was right. It was better for all of them. Regina knew that her life would be empty without Emma but at least if Emma left if wouldn’t fall apart.
She needed to be sure that the dream wasn’t prophetic and so she ran to Henry’s room and what she saw changed everything. Her initial and instinctual relief at seeing him was quickly replaced with fear. If Henry was here then Emma hadn’t gone and if Emma hadn’t gone then everything that Regina had worked for was in danger.
It was clear that she couldn’t trust Emma to leave and because of that Regina had lost the simple solution to her problem. A new plan needed to be formulated. The one upside of the situation is that she will get to keep Henry. It’s probably not an option that he would be excited by but Regina loves her son and knowing that he will be with her makes it a little to easier to face the fact that she can’t have Emma.
Emma has become a major obstacle and she needs to be dealt with. Regina has had a lot of experience with obstacles and she knows how to deal with them swiftly, ruthlessly and decisively. Those options aren’t open to her when it comes to Emma. She can’t kill Emma. It’s not just because that’s not who she wants to be and it’s not even because in doing so she would both lose Henry forever and break the curse. It’s true that she couldn’t survive either of those things but it’s also true that she couldn’t live with being responsible for Emma’s death.
Desperate times lead to desperate measures and so she seeks out Jefferson. Dealing with him makes her feel uncomfortable. It’s a little too familiar and way too easy for her to slip into the role of tormentor. It is everything she swore she would not do. It makes her worry that despite her best efforts she hasn’t changed at all, she is nothing but evil. It doesn’t even matter now because there is no going back. The tree is dying and Emma is beyond her reach. Whatever they had, whatever she thought they had, it wasn’t enough. The darkness that tainted her when Daniel died consumes everything and her relationship with Emma is no exception.
She hates having to deal with Jefferson and his special brand of crazy but he was the only choice. Gold couldn’t, or at least wouldn’t, help her but that’s probably for the best. Going to him because her tree was dying had been a mistake. In doing so she showed Gold more of her cards than was sensible or safe. Gold is snake who can not be trusted and she is fairly certain that he wants the curse to break. She wonders if he designed it with the certainty that Regina would play her part - that she would kill the saviour. If that is the case he has made a grave mistake because Emma is one of the few people that she could never kill.
The hatter is definitely the lesser of two evils. He, at least, can be manipulated. His love for his daughter gives Regina a weakness to exploit. It’s a weakness that she understands because it’s a weakness that she shares.
He annoys her by telling her that remembering is the worst curse - he doesn’t need to tell her that, she knows better than anyone the burden of memory. She has born it for twenty-eight years and after she deals with Emma she will carry another burden for all of eternity.
His help comes with a price, one that’s a lot higher than she had expected to pay, and she almost can’t go through with it. He is asking her to give up the last of magic which would be a hefty price in and of itself but what she is sacrificing represents so much more. She hesitates but in the end she reaches into her pocket and pulls out the ring.
It seems strange to see her ring without the chain but she found that she couldn’t put it on this morning. It burnt to have it close to her skin. It seemed angry at her for removing it, for letting go of Daniel, even if it was only for a few hours.
She throws the ring into the hat and it feels fitting. She tells herself she doesn’t need it anymore, that what she is doing is the end of everything that is good about her and she doesn’t need tokens that belong to girl who is long gone. It turns out that not caring is easier said than done because when the hat doesn’t do what it should she feels murderous. She wants to kill both Jefferson and herself. She has given the last of Daniel away for nothing and the rage inside her cannot be contained.
She’s contemplating the ways in which she will make Jefferson suffer when the reprieve is given. The magic that the ring holds, the magic her love helped make, is small but it is real. Regina reaches into the hat and destroys any chance of finding that magic again. She gives up the ring to take the apple. In one foul swoop she loses her magic, her past and her future. She betrays Daniel in order to betray Emma. An eye for an eye. A love for a love. It seems a fair exchange.
There is nothing left to do now but focus on the apple and the task that needs to be completed. The task she articulates clearly when she rhetorically asks, “How to get the saviour to taste my forbidden fruit?” The words she uses are important. They are carefully chosen. Getting Emma to take an apple from her willingly wouldn’t be all that hard but this moment is about the queen and the saviour. It’s not about the mayor and the sheriff and it is most certainly not about Regina and Emma.
Ironically making the turnover makes her feel more like herself than she has since Emma arrived. As it cooks a sweet scent fills the kitchen and amongst its notes she can smell, if not victory, at least the end. She thinks about Mary Margaret and is determined not to be thwarted this time. The apple will do what it failed to do decades before. It will destroy Snow.
Sooner or later the curse will break, Regina is certain of that fact. Her actions aren’t about stopping the inevitable they are about removing Emma from the equation. Emma will not watch world change. She will sleep through Regina’s personal Armageddon. Emma will dream forever and Regina will be by her side.
Snow will not be so lucky. The veil will fall form Snow’s eyes and she will know the true pain of having lost her daughter. Regina is not an idiot she knows who Emma is, she is a little embarrassed that she hasn’t always known. The arrival of Snow’s child was announced with the ticking of the clock and yet somehow Regina failed to realise the significance of that event.
Regina is actually pleased that she didn’t know before now, pleased that what she had with Emma wasn’t influenced by Emma’s lineage. Her feelings for Emma are strong and they are real. That is something that she would not have been able to say if she’d have known that Emma was Snow’s child. In the end Snow may have ruined everything, as she always does, but even Snow can’t take Regina’s brief time with Emma away from her.
She won’t pretend that she doesn’t find a sense of enjoyment in the idea of depriving Snow of time with her child. Regina plans to take great delight in reminding Snow of what she has missed out on. She could probably hurt Snow a whole lot more by letting her know the kind of a relationship her enemy shared with her daughter but that is not for Snow to know. What Regina had with Emma was special and she won’t debase it by turning it into a weapon. Regina is not better than many things but she is better than that.
The turnover seems to be taking longer to cook than usual. Regina is starting to think that it is defying her on purpose. She tries to distract herself, tries to keep her anger in check, by thinking of what she will say to Emma when she calls to invite her over. The rehearsals in her head come to naught though because Emma beats her to the punch.
The moment she hears the doorbell ring she knows who is outside. She could write it off as fate or divine providence but the sad reality is that there are very few people who come calling on her.
On her way to open the door she has a vivid flashback to her dream. The parallels are undeniable. The means will be different but the ends will be the same. Her destruction will come with an apple rather than a sword but she will be destroyed just the same.
Emma coming here was inevitable, Regina was going to make it happen, but she can’t stop thinking about the coincidence of Emma arriving just as she was about to call her. It feels significant somehow. They are connected to one another in a way that has nothing to do with the curse. The connection is about them, about how they feel, and it’s so unfair that she can’t keep it.
She opens the door and they begin their final dance.
“We need to talk,” Emma states and wins some points for brevity.
“Yes I imagine we do,” Regina replies but she knows that what’s important will be what goes unsaid. “I was just about to call you. Come right in.”
Regina watches as Emma as enters and feels a burst of anger. The anger is both irrational and misplaced because it’s not really Emma’s fault that she is acting way too calmly for a women who is about to be poisoned. “Do what you’re so skilled at and make yourself at home,” she says sarcastically as she moves to join Emma.
When Emma continues to stand there mute and oblivious Regina is forced to remind her that, “I believe you came to see me.”
“Right. Look. This isn’t easy. I think that this….whatever… is between us has to end.” Emma looks uncomfortable but Regina can not allow that to get to her.
“At last something we can agree on.”
“I want to make a deal with you about Henry.”
“I’m not making any deals with you.” The time for deals is over. Besides Regina has already made more deals than she can handle today.
“I’m leaving town.”
“What?” She can’t begin to explain how much this hurts. It’s not as though she didn’t think it was going to happen, in fact only this morning she was sure that it already had, but the timing of Emma’s announcement could not be worse.
“This….what we’re doing is a problem,” Emma says and Regina nearly laughs because for Regina love has never been anything other than a problem, “and I’m gonna go but I have conditions. I still get to see Henry, I get to visit and spend time. Whatever.”
“And you get to see him, you’re still in his life,” but apparently not in mine Regina thinks.
“Look, in any deal both parties are a little unhappy,” to Regina that seems like brutal way for Emma to describe the end of their relationship, “but let’s be honest we both know the world where I’m not in his life no longer exists and there’s no one who can do anything about that.”
Regain begs to differ with Emma’s assessment of the situation. It’s not the reason she is going to give Emma the apple but it certainly helps her to want to use it. The tragedy is that Emma’s plan holds merit and it’s difficult for Regina not to accept the deal.
It could work; she could send Henry to Emma for visits. It might actually help her son to think better of her and more importantly if Emma left the curse would not be jeopardy. She can’t let it happen though. She can’t just let Emma leave, not when she has given up her last connection to Daniel.
The decision was already made for her when she gave Jefferson the ring. It’s impossible for her to accept the deal but she has to pretend to go along with it, “You’re right. Would you mind following me for a moment?” Regina asks as she gestures towards the kitchen.
Emma doesn’t object which makes things a little easier. Regina is glad about that because things are already difficult enough. She has to force her hands to stop shaking as she takes the turnover out and it requires considerable effort to keep her voice casual as she asks, “So what are you proposing?”
“I don’t know. Just figure it out as we go.”
“But he’s my son.” There is no denying that Regina has issued a challenge. You can feel it in the air. It’s sad that the challenge has to be over Henry, not because he shouldn’t be used in that way, parents do that all the time, but because they have something bigger between them. Something that means more than curses and ancient grudges but is being squashed under the weight of those things none the less.
Emma crumbles and concedes with a simple, “Yeah.”
That small victory should make Regina feel happy but it doesn’t. In fact it makes her feel like her life is over. Emma may not have swallowed the poison yet but she already gone. It’s time for Regina to finish the job.
“Oh Miss Swan,” Regina calls and Emma comes back into the kitchen. “Maybe a little something for the road.” Regina places the turnover into a container and places a large nail in two coffins, hers and Emma’s, as though it is nothing.
“Thanks.”
“If we are going to be in each other’s lives it’s time we start being cordial.” To Regina they feel like the personification of cliqued divorced parents. The saddest thing about that is that they didn’t have much of a marriage. Sadder still is fact that what they did have was infinitely better than Regina’s previous marriage. “My famous turnovers. Old recipe but delicious.”
Emma looks reluctant to take the dish. Regina doesn’t think Emma has an inkling about the poisoned fruit but rather that Emma feels the poison of the moment. That if Emma takes the turnover she is saying that this is it, this is what they are - forced niceties and awkward silences. What they had will be lost, they will really be over. It makes Regina want to take the offer back. She wants to drop the plastic and the poison on the ground and take Emma to bed.
They hold one another’s eyes and it is nearly Regina’s undoing. She feels the energy surge between them and it almost pulls her towards Emma but then Emma closes her eyes and says, “Thank you,” and the spell is broken. It’s too late. Their time has past.
“I do hope you like apples.”
Emma gives a small shake of her head. It’s not a rejection of apples but Regina’s not entirely sure what it’s about. She could have left it like that. She could have allowed Emma to leave but apparently Regina doesn’t know how to let sleeping dogs lie. She runs after Emma and stops her at the door.
Emma smiles at her and while the smile is deep it is also seems uncertain. “For a minute there I was worried that you were going to let me leave without saying goodbye.”
“I thought we’d already said our goodbyes. I thought that’s what last night was all about.”
Emma’s eyes drift towards the ceiling. “It was meant to be. I was going to leave. I was going to take Henry with me.”
“I know,” she confirms.
“I still don’t know why I didn’t.” Emma reaches out and toys with Regina’s hair. “I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to leave you.
Regina leans forward and it feels like everything is going in slow motion. She can feel Emma’s breath on her face and is preparing for the moment that their lips will touch when Emma steps back. “You’re wrong, you know,” Emma tells her. Right now Regina doesn’t really care about right and wrong. All she cares about is the kiss that was stolen from her.
She tries to reclaim the kiss but Emma places a hand on her chest and tears can be heard in Emma’s voice as she says, “Last night when you said you knew that I didn’t love you, you were wrong. I love you very much but I can’t do this. I can’t be in a relationship where I am only one who is in love.”
Regina could easily dissuade Emma of that notion but what good would it do? She is going to take the world from Emma the least she can do is let Emma feel that she has ended the relationship on her terms. “I understand.”
Emma traces her fingers over Regina’s face, “I hate how much I am going to miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too,” Regina says knowing what an incredible understatement that really is. She is literally going to spend forever missing Emma.
“I’m going to go now.”
“Okay,” Regina replies and earns herself a kiss on the forehead. “What was that for?”
“For not trying to stop me.”
“Does it still deserve the kiss if I tell you that I wanted to stop you?”
“If that’s the case it deserves a real kiss.” Emma touches her lips to Regina’s and Regina’s eyes automatically close.
Her eyes are still closed when she hears the door shut behind Emma. It is tempting to collapse against the door but she doesn’t want to stay so close to the last spot she will ever see a walking, talking Emma.
She goes to the only place that she can think of and when she gets there she sinks to the ground below her tree. Regina runs her hand over the bark behind her and lets the tree know, “You are going to be ok now.”
Regina didn’t think she was going to cry. To be honest she thought the time for tears had past but she cries in earnest when she realises that she has finally won. Her tree will survive, the curse will stand and Storybroke will remain hers. She is victor but she doesn’t feel victorious. Her mind tells her that she has won but her heart knows better. It knows the truth. Know she has lost. Knows she is lost.