Fear for Change
Title: Fear for Change
Series: TCR, TDS
Rating: PG
Summary: Behold Barack Obama's plans for America's future. Behold what horrors we have brought upon ourselves! (Includes some fluff.)
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
The date: November 5, 2008.
Senator Barack Hussein Obama, all results confirm, is the next President of the United States of America.
It does not take long for the American people to know what they have done.
Obama does not wait for the ceremonial niceties of January. He takes power immediately, casting out the current administration. All his hopes and promises are implemented at once, beyond what anyone could have predicted. Beautiful democratic America is turned to ruin, into a socialist state.
Capitalism is abolished, and the wealth is spread like blood upon an altar. Wall Street is a wasteland; all are warned away by the sight of Joe the Plumber's head on a pike.
Christianity goes next, as Obama reveals his cunning. He learned the Muslim lessons of his father well, and so shall the American people. Bibles are banned and burned. The Qu'ran is compulsory.
And then the children are taken away, to be indoctrinated into Obama's vision for the country. Their obedience will lay the groundwork for a new world order. If their parents disapprove of the educational reform, may God help them (if he has not forsaken them already).
When the Democratic-controlled Congress overcomes their madness to say enough is enough, they are annihilated by a mere sweep of Obama's hand. Realizing she is America's last hope, Governor Sarah Palin returns from her snowy kingdom to fight for freedom. Her husband pilots the helicopter skillfully and her aim is true, but they learn too late: the power of the electorate has made Obama nothing short of invincible. The helicopter disappears into a black hole, never to be seen again.
And the media, those who supported Obama's campaign of hope and change? (Change? Change indeed!) They experience true assimilation. They are simply devoured, a fitting reward for their foolishness.
“How?” each journalist wonders before his or her time comes. “How could we have known?”
“It was McCain!” laments Jon Stewart. “McCain was the choice all the long!”
“No,” comes a voice, sure and strong. It is the true voice of America. “You should have looked to South Carolina's favorite son,” says Stephen Colbert. He would weep, but there are not tears enough.
“Oh, God, how could we be such fools?” cries Stewart.
“Do you see?!” rages Colbert from atop a mountain overlooking the doomed landscape. “Do you see what you hath wrought?!”
“It is too late!” rumbles the great Obama, eyes aglow with power and all its terrible promise. “All shall love me and despair!”
And as he peels back his fleshy mask--
Okay, look--
Shush. He peels back his fleshy mask and down tumble the mighty tentacles of--
Tentacles?!
The mighty tentacles of Cthulu! And the wretched masses wail--
++++++++++++++++
“Wait!” Jon said, waving his hands. “Cthulu?”
Stephen was still poised menacingly, crooked fingers held before his mouth, frozen in the act of destroying an invisible populace fleeing in terror around Jon's office. “Yes, Jon,” he said accusingly. “Bet you weren't expecting that when you ticked off your box for Obama.”
“I don't usually take fiction into account when I vote, no.”
Stephen gave up his demonstration of America's downfall and stood with his hands on his hips. “Fiction, he says! Ha! I bet it won't feel fictional when the shit goes down.”
“I think you're overreacting.”
“I think you're underreacting.”
“I can always count on your maturity!” Jon laughed. He gestured to a white bakery box on his desk. “Will a cookie make you feel better?”
The prospect of sweets did seem to arouse something other than disappointment from the pundit, until Jon opened the box to reveal sugar cookies sporting Obama's logo in icing.
“You mock me, sir!” Stephen blustered, wielding his mighty pointer finger.
“I do not! An intern got a bunch of these for everyone. Come on, try one.” Jon handed a cookie to Stephen while stuffing another into his mouth. Stephen crossed his arms, but Jon could see his fingers twitch. “Come on,” Jon prodded. “Eat your feelings.”
Stephen snorted. “If I were to eat my feelings, I'd be eating... raw steak! From a cow I slaughtered myself!” But he snatched the cookie from Jon's hand and plopped on the floor to nibble on it like a three-year-old.
Jon watched the cookie slowly disappear. “Does it taste like hope?”
“It tastes like red number forty, blue number two, and white number ten,” Stephen muttered.
“Is that good?”
Stephen sighed. “Good enough, Jon. It's good enough.”
“... I have no idea what that's supposed to mean.” Jon came around his desk and settled cross-legged beside Stephen. “But I want you to know that if Obama does reveal that he fooled us all and we're doomed, I'll be here for you.”
Stephen shot him a side-long glance. “Can I say I told you so?”
“I couldn't stop you.”
“Damn right.” Stephen hugged his knees and tilted sideways, leaning against Jon.
Jon didn't bat an eye. He put an arm around his friend's shoulders. “You've gotten zero sleep in the past week, haven't you?”
“Possibly,” Stephen murmured. “Didn't know nightmare'd happen when I was awake.”
Jon chuckled. “Maybe for you, Colbert.” He ran his tongue across his teeth, still tasting the sweet icing. “Maybe for you.”
-----------------------
Happy Post-Election, everyone. :)
Series: TCR, TDS
Rating: PG
Summary: Behold Barack Obama's plans for America's future. Behold what horrors we have brought upon ourselves! (Includes some fluff.)
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
The date: November 5, 2008.
Senator Barack Hussein Obama, all results confirm, is the next President of the United States of America.
It does not take long for the American people to know what they have done.
Obama does not wait for the ceremonial niceties of January. He takes power immediately, casting out the current administration. All his hopes and promises are implemented at once, beyond what anyone could have predicted. Beautiful democratic America is turned to ruin, into a socialist state.
Capitalism is abolished, and the wealth is spread like blood upon an altar. Wall Street is a wasteland; all are warned away by the sight of Joe the Plumber's head on a pike.
Christianity goes next, as Obama reveals his cunning. He learned the Muslim lessons of his father well, and so shall the American people. Bibles are banned and burned. The Qu'ran is compulsory.
And then the children are taken away, to be indoctrinated into Obama's vision for the country. Their obedience will lay the groundwork for a new world order. If their parents disapprove of the educational reform, may God help them (if he has not forsaken them already).
When the Democratic-controlled Congress overcomes their madness to say enough is enough, they are annihilated by a mere sweep of Obama's hand. Realizing she is America's last hope, Governor Sarah Palin returns from her snowy kingdom to fight for freedom. Her husband pilots the helicopter skillfully and her aim is true, but they learn too late: the power of the electorate has made Obama nothing short of invincible. The helicopter disappears into a black hole, never to be seen again.
And the media, those who supported Obama's campaign of hope and change? (Change? Change indeed!) They experience true assimilation. They are simply devoured, a fitting reward for their foolishness.
“How?” each journalist wonders before his or her time comes. “How could we have known?”
“It was McCain!” laments Jon Stewart. “McCain was the choice all the long!”
“No,” comes a voice, sure and strong. It is the true voice of America. “You should have looked to South Carolina's favorite son,” says Stephen Colbert. He would weep, but there are not tears enough.
“Oh, God, how could we be such fools?” cries Stewart.
“Do you see?!” rages Colbert from atop a mountain overlooking the doomed landscape. “Do you see what you hath wrought?!”
“It is too late!” rumbles the great Obama, eyes aglow with power and all its terrible promise. “All shall love me and despair!”
And as he peels back his fleshy mask--
Okay, look--
Shush. He peels back his fleshy mask and down tumble the mighty tentacles of--
Tentacles?!
The mighty tentacles of Cthulu! And the wretched masses wail--
++++++++++++++++
“Wait!” Jon said, waving his hands. “Cthulu?”
Stephen was still poised menacingly, crooked fingers held before his mouth, frozen in the act of destroying an invisible populace fleeing in terror around Jon's office. “Yes, Jon,” he said accusingly. “Bet you weren't expecting that when you ticked off your box for Obama.”
“I don't usually take fiction into account when I vote, no.”
Stephen gave up his demonstration of America's downfall and stood with his hands on his hips. “Fiction, he says! Ha! I bet it won't feel fictional when the shit goes down.”
“I think you're overreacting.”
“I think you're underreacting.”
“I can always count on your maturity!” Jon laughed. He gestured to a white bakery box on his desk. “Will a cookie make you feel better?”
The prospect of sweets did seem to arouse something other than disappointment from the pundit, until Jon opened the box to reveal sugar cookies sporting Obama's logo in icing.
“You mock me, sir!” Stephen blustered, wielding his mighty pointer finger.
“I do not! An intern got a bunch of these for everyone. Come on, try one.” Jon handed a cookie to Stephen while stuffing another into his mouth. Stephen crossed his arms, but Jon could see his fingers twitch. “Come on,” Jon prodded. “Eat your feelings.”
Stephen snorted. “If I were to eat my feelings, I'd be eating... raw steak! From a cow I slaughtered myself!” But he snatched the cookie from Jon's hand and plopped on the floor to nibble on it like a three-year-old.
Jon watched the cookie slowly disappear. “Does it taste like hope?”
“It tastes like red number forty, blue number two, and white number ten,” Stephen muttered.
“Is that good?”
Stephen sighed. “Good enough, Jon. It's good enough.”
“... I have no idea what that's supposed to mean.” Jon came around his desk and settled cross-legged beside Stephen. “But I want you to know that if Obama does reveal that he fooled us all and we're doomed, I'll be here for you.”
Stephen shot him a side-long glance. “Can I say I told you so?”
“I couldn't stop you.”
“Damn right.” Stephen hugged his knees and tilted sideways, leaning against Jon.
Jon didn't bat an eye. He put an arm around his friend's shoulders. “You've gotten zero sleep in the past week, haven't you?”
“Possibly,” Stephen murmured. “Didn't know nightmare'd happen when I was awake.”
Jon chuckled. “Maybe for you, Colbert.” He ran his tongue across his teeth, still tasting the sweet icing. “Maybe for you.”
-----------------------
Happy Post-Election, everyone. :)