"Paroxysm"

[fakepoptart]

EDIT** Updated the link so it is working again.

The follow up to Christmas in Albuquerque is up and running over at my FF.net account.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9795224/2/Christmas-in-Albuquerque

Due to the overwhelming lameness of LJ I had to resort to

Comments

FUCK YEAH

[sinloi]

I may or may not have made a very embarrassing noise upon seeing this on my f-list. And yes, LJ is pretty much a twat. My advice is learn html or you're screwed. Well, you'll be frustrated often, at least.

Off to FF.net

Re: FUCK YEAH

[fakepoptart]

I may or may not have giggled deliriously when I read that.

And holy crap I wasn't prepared for the levels of twatism the internet was throwing at me yesterday. And I can't even tell you what a HTML is so I guess I'm hopeless in that regard. :p

[readishmael]

Yay! It's done! Off to read it right away...

[readishmael]

Ok, after I spent like the entire day yesterday reading and rereading this (and loving every second of it), I'm prepared to leave some more detailed feedback

[fakepoptart]

Ahhh no you already re-read it before I could advise you that repeated examinations of something have the chance to reveal that it's a piece of crap

[squonkfan]

Ah, you take a much kinder view of Walt than I do. :) I think he does quite obviously love Jesse, pretty intensely in fact. But I also think he's a largely a giant asshole. I mean, I haven't stopped rooting for him yet, or for the two of them together. But for me his thought processes might tend to be a bit darker and more self-serving than you envision them here. It's the constant murkiness of it all that attracts me. (Of course, having said that, I think Walt's actions in Half Measures, though he may have eventually used them to emotionally manipulate Jesse a little, were truly pure of heart, unusually so for him

[fakepoptart]

Whoa, you must think pretty lowly of Walt, because I figured he was a giant asshole too. LOL I suppose the most Walt-favoring thing I did was the "Phoenix" part of this story, eh? I guess part of me just wants to believe it wasn't done to protect himself 'cause really, that was harsh.
Agreed on the Half-Measures, though. That put me on his team for the first time since I think "Breakage" which is when I realized he was basically a dick. ... and then of course he used his 'intervention' as leverage later. Ah Walt, how you continue to repulse and yet, I can't turn away from my TV.

Thanks for deciding to post here too! I'm glad you've been enjoying the stories. =) I'm pretty much drained for material after this latest bout of nonsense but I can never tell when the inspiration-hammer will strike.

You know, I thought there really ought to be more sex but I couldn't really pull it off here in 'Paroxysm' so a change of story may be in order. Who knows.

And thanks!! I'm a fan of that flashback too. xD

[squonkfan]

Whoa, you must think pretty lowly of Walt, because I figured he was a giant asshole too.

:) I think it's more like I, as a reader, interpreted your Walt as less assholish than your may have had in your mind as the author. Which is the kind of thing that happens all the time, text not being static and all that--another reader may have a different take. I'm definitely not saying he's OOC. It's just that, for me, he seems here to have a higher level of self-awareness and especially an ongoing regard for Jesse's feelings (or at least a consciousness of them) that I personally don't see as much of in his character. He doesn't say a lot here, which is definitely Walt-like, and still behaves like a shit at times for sure. But there feels like more of an inward regard for Jesse and for their dynamic than I would necessarily credit him with. Of course, there's certainly an argument to be made that sex can change one's thinking

[fakepoptart]

Haha, maybe I did write him as less assholish than I normally would I guess, just sort of for how this particular story was going to be shaped. And I'm kind of a romantic so I'll give him credit where it's not generally due to set a tone. XD Walt introspection is about as close to an impossible exercise as I've gotten in fanfiction and then when you add elements outside the actual realm of the show... Well, then it's a hit or a miss really. I dunno, I'm glad you think he's not totally OOC though. lol

& Yeah, the Phoenix thing I tried to write as sort of ambivalent because I don't doubt that Walt also had his own interests in mind, probably very near the front too, but what I imagine his mental state must have been in that particular scene is like, bleh, I dunno, so I guess maybe it came out looking one-way but that's not what I intended. >.< I was going for a kind of denial-reading where Walt believes that's all it was about 'cause "he's not a criminal/murderer/bad guy" in his mind but, uh

[squonkfan]

Yeah, no, the fic still isn't in the BB listing--I noticed that when I went back to read it over again before I posted my last reply. I had to click on your author name to get to it. Weird.

[nmrn114]

I loved all of this, but I wanted to add that I especially loved the detail about Mr. White finding Jesse all freaked out behind the high school in flash back. (in the memories of Jesse and Walt)
I wish you had written a separate story about that, elaborating more from Walt's point of view. I thought that detail fit incredibly well with the whole story. It makes sense that Walt always instinctively cared about Jesse. It's all part of the larger picture-that Walt really does care about him. He may have been an asshole, but that care for Jesse always seemed very real and sweet to me, and actually very separate from all the manipulation.