not eager to leave the liquid darkness of sleep What a pretty image!
one high, moon-brushed cheekbone. This is a lovely description.
I woke up a few minutes ago when you stopped breathing. This is... incredibly endearing to me.
this mad genius could look so soft, with his sleep mussed hair falling in disheveled curls over his forehead and a crease from John’s pillowcase marring one cheek. I love the idea of a slightly vulnerable Sherlock, even in such a way as physically vulnerable from having just woken up.
Sherlock stiffened against him, his whole body going ridged and unyielding.
John jerked backwards like he’d been burned. Oh, no! D= That's not how it was supposed to gooo. *flutters*
A terrible hollowness seemed to have cored John, leaving a jagged, gaping hole in his middle. Shame leaked into it, filled it, and John pinched his eyes closed tighter, horrified at what he’d done. This is so sad. Like, the description of it is just... sad. It makes me sad. And that's a sign of good writing. But yes.
Again, thank you so much for reading and taking the time to note what worked :D It will help me write better next time. And you're inspiring me to try to write more. You rock! Seriously, thank you times a billion! And I'm sorry there were sad parts D: But at least I tried to make them happy at the end, right? :D Well, mostly happy, and only a little flu-plagued ;)
OMG so it's not just me? I'm having so much trouble with LJ right now :( I have to refresh a million times just to get a page to display. Frustrating! Thank you for commenting! I'm glad you were able to enjoy the fic despite LJ's current quirkiness. I think I'll try to write more soon since this was so fun to do! ♥
Oh, how I adore this kind of fic, you have no idea. Simple little pieces that convey so much so easily, it just makes me read through the whole thing with a silly smile on my face. Especially in this fandom, where it's pretty tricky finding a believable voice for the characters, shows your skill when you manage it beautifully and keep such an light, humorous tone to it. Not to mention all the imagery is friggin adorable. I just had to thank you for such a lovely way to spend my coffee-break! x)
Comments 63
one high, moon-brushed cheekbone. This is a lovely description.
I woke up a few minutes ago when you stopped breathing. This is... incredibly endearing to me.
this mad genius could look so soft, with his sleep mussed hair falling in disheveled curls over his forehead and a crease from John’s pillowcase marring one cheek. I love the idea of a slightly vulnerable Sherlock, even in such a way as physically vulnerable from having just woken up.
Sherlock stiffened against him, his whole body going ridged and unyielding.
John jerked backwards like he’d been burned. Oh, no! D= That's not how it was supposed to gooo. *flutters*
A terrible hollowness seemed to have cored John, leaving a jagged, gaping hole in his middle. Shame leaked into it, filled it, and John pinched his eyes closed tighter, horrified at what he’d done. This is so sad. Like, the description of it is just... sad. It makes me sad. And that's a sign of good writing. But yes.
Sherlock had smashed into ( ... )
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This is absolutely wonderful! Funny, well-observed, just terrific. Have a feeling I'll read this quite a few times :)
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