Beyond the Horizon (1/2)

[falafel_fiction]

Beyond the Horizon

Summary: Between his memories of Desmond on the freighter and his visits from Charlie in the future Sayid resolves to break free from Ben and return to the island to rescue his friends. A sequel story to 'The Musician' in two parts. Also an entry for charlielives challenge #4: Future Charlie.
Characters: Sayid, Charlie, Ben and

Comments

[elliotsmelliot]

I was clapping my hands at the end of this. Bravo! This whole piece built like a crescendo to that final scene. I was smiling alongside Sayid.

“Christ! You and Desmond must have gotten along like a house on fire,” said Charlie, ceasing his strumming pattern. “You’re both photo junkies!”

I adore the concept of photo junkies. That was a wonderful exchange. And Charlie was right about love being the real addiction that did him in.

This "also here" Charlie is a fantastic creation. There is something very down to earth about him, almost a mirror of the old Charlie but there also something not of this world. Maybe the dead are just more convincing speakers because you just can't say no to him!

I can't wait for part II. Thanks for letting me be apart of a story in progress. I consider it a learning experience. And thanks for the lovely dedication. Oh, and the title is great too!

[falafel_fiction]

I'm glad you're enjoying it so far, ell! Thank you so much for your betaing. Test readings are often helpful because you realise the little plotholes that could make your story confusing. Are you willing to look over Part 2 when it's done? If you don't want to be too spoiled I might just send you the Ben scene because that is the only moment I'm struggling with. You're right, Ben IS a bloody uncoopretive character to write for!

This "also here" Charlie is a fantastic creation. There is something very down to earth about him, almost a mirror of the old Charlie but there also something not of this world.

Cool! That was the effect I was going for. It seriously bugged me that they killed Charlie just as he was coming into his maturity. I always wanted to see a strong, wise and enlightened Charlie, but yeah, I didn't want to make him too pristine and elite. I wanted him to retain his cuddly approachableness that made me love him from the start, hence the tea and biscuits.

[elliotsmelliot]

Last night I was craving those chocolate digestive cookies! That was a nice detail that there were only two left.

I would be happy to look over part II whenever and if you want. Ben is a big pain! He's fine if you let him control the scene but I sense you might be writing a comeuppance moment. Beware! He will do everything he can to give you a serious case of writer's block until he can convince you he is one of the good guys. Good luck, Ben - you don't know who you're up against.

[janie_tangerine]

Ok, first, before I forget it..

“Christ! You and Desmond must have gotten along like a house on fire,” said Charlie, ceasing his strumming pattern. “You’re both photo junkies!”CHARLIE WINS. No, really, that quote was pure gold. Surely they are

[falafel_fiction]

Yay! Thank you so much, Janie. I thought you might like this one. I'm a bit panicky about Pt2 now because I've only got it written in very rough notes and I'm out all day Sunday, but maybe sometime early next week I'll get it finished off. It is inspiring to see readers hungry for more. Speaking of which, will there be more 'Trial of Ben Linus' soon?

Thanks so much for your comments on my Sayid portral. I totally love Sayid, but find him harder to write for than Charlie and Desmond. I mean, Desmond having a big fit of angst is just an indulgent pleasure really. And writing the FF Charlie as a cool determined mentor who gives his old superiors Sayid and Jack a good telling off was a real treat too. I think the main thing that made me wanna write this fic was the idea of my three favourite characters linked by appealing protective male bonds. I had to resist having Sayid and Desmond power-hugging at several points. They just get carried away in their little cabin!

[janie_tangerine]

Well, that's pretty much the situation of the undead Charlie/Boone one which I hope to have out next week, if it doesn't keep drawing plot, so I kinda get you on that. There will definitely be more Trial sometime soon but I'll try to finish the Team Undead Hot one before and then I'll get back to it.

I definitely agree on Sayid being a though one to get across, but you've done a brilliant job with it. And I also forgot that I loved Charlie using the old!awesome!Locke technique with Jack but I catch the occasion to say it now ;)

the idea of my three favourite characters linked by appealing protective male bonds.

That's so a sweet thought *sighs* and don't they REALLY get carried away? Those two have writing personalities of their own *sighs*..

[falafel_fiction]

LOL, at Team Undead Hot! So true. I'm really looking forward to that fic, so I guess I'll you mine if you'll show me yours - next week yeah? Deal.

Yeah, I seriously want FF Charlie to help Jack with his drug problem on the show. It's too perfect considering Jack is hooked on a drugs so similar to heroin. And it would be the perfect full circle for Charlie to become the wise old ex-junkie and use cool-Locke's methods to get Jack clean. Honestly Darlton will suck at life if they don't think to do this.

Thanks again!

[meagan4dominic]

So far this is awesome! Go Charlie! Thank you for having him bitch about the Oceanic 6, seriously that needed to be done. I love the whole idea of this story (it's good to see you writing again) & I can't wait to see if they actually get back to the island or not.
You write this type of Charlie so well. He's not angsty he's cheeky again, the Charlie we all fell in love with - thanks for bringing him back

[falafel_fiction]

Hehe! I see now I should have given this fic the summary 'Sayid and Charlie have Oceanic6 bitchfest'. It does need to be done! I'm glad you liked my FF Charlie. I think he let go of his angst issues when he went to make his brave sacrifice in the Looking Glass and it'll take more than death to make him lose his sense of humour.

[falafel_fiction]

Reading your fic is like enjoying an expensive bottle of wine. It's so smooth, so eloquent, so well structured, it goes down easy. It actually feels good to read, if that makes sense.

Wow, thanks! That's such a lovely comment.

Sayid has been the saviour of my Lostfic muse. I always wanted to write a long Sayid centric. I had an idea for a saga where Sayid reunites Alex and Danielle but it never went very far because the Chesmond story just sunk its teeth into me and so I became a little 'Sayid who?' in S3. But I've loved Sayid's increased role in S4, even though I'm sure that like Charlie he'll be forced to die for it before the end.

I'd love FF Charlie to have his own centric too! I'd say that Damon owes Dom one full episode of pure FF Charlie coolness and what an episode that would be. He could do the rounds with all the O6ers and the FB could show how he came into being. Dynamite ep!

[falafel_fiction]

Thanks for reading! I couldn't resit delving into the Des/Sayid freighter angst. Will there be more Kahana soon?