I used to be a criminal
So, last night, I was Point for the overnight shift. This basically means that I am the boss as concerns everything. I am responsible for making people stay in the morning if people don't show up. I am responsible to make people stay if my people don't show up. I am so powerful when I am point that I can make TEAM LEADERS (who are the highest supervisors who work the floor) stay if I so choose. I did that tonight.*
But that's not what the story is about. The story is about what happened at around four in the morning. At around four in the morning, two of my coworkers went to go do what we call Chemicals. Every night, this has to be done by us overnights unless the maintenance people steal our machinery, which they did last weekend. They go through the dorms and the school and take all the bottle of cleaning solution (Illustrious, TNT, and Triple Play) and make sure they're filled up. They have to take all the empty and partially empty bottles up to the third floor of the school building and fill them there.
Well, when they got up there, there was buggery afoot! No, no, I don't mean they were doing the nasty together,** but I do mean that they found something that was Not Quite Right. The third floor janitor's closet - where they go to fill the bottles - was unlocked, which is a serious security breach. Not only was it unlocked, but the trapdoor that leads to the attic was swinging open by the lock, the hinges having been removed.
So they called me, because I'm the boss. And I told them to look around in the attic. And I went upstairs and asked the guy who trained me in what I should do about it and they called again. It seems that more was up. There was another door that had also been unscrewed in the janitor's closet, but there was no one in the attic. I went to check things out, because I'm the boss.
I get up there and see that, verily, verily, they had told the truth and the door had had the hinges unscrewed. I was taking a look around and decided to check out the entire building, when this conversation took place:
Mr. Christian: "It had to be an inside job whoever unscrewed the hinges. They're on the bottom of the door."
The Boss (Me): "Not really, see here -" *I run my fingers along the top side of the door* "- you can unscrew them from the top side."
The New Guy, B-Ball: "How?"
The Boss (Me): "Oh, all you have to do is - I probably shouldn't be telling you how I know, but I used to be a criminal - take a drill bit 'cause the screws are sticking through and catch the screw on it and turn on your power drill and press. They'll spin right out and drop to the floor."
*two beats of nothing happening and neither of them cracking a smile*
The Boss (Me): "I didn't actually used to be a criminal - I'm just smart."
The New Guy, B-Ball: "Well ... you never know."
That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I LOOK LIKE A HARDENED CRIMINAL.
*But, because I am not a friggin' moron, I made sure I got someone to cover for him after an hour and a half.
** "Hey, hey, now, I know what that is. That's a gay joke." -Mr. Christian
But that's not what the story is about. The story is about what happened at around four in the morning. At around four in the morning, two of my coworkers went to go do what we call Chemicals. Every night, this has to be done by us overnights unless the maintenance people steal our machinery, which they did last weekend. They go through the dorms and the school and take all the bottle of cleaning solution (Illustrious, TNT, and Triple Play) and make sure they're filled up. They have to take all the empty and partially empty bottles up to the third floor of the school building and fill them there.
Well, when they got up there, there was buggery afoot! No, no, I don't mean they were doing the nasty together,** but I do mean that they found something that was Not Quite Right. The third floor janitor's closet - where they go to fill the bottles - was unlocked, which is a serious security breach. Not only was it unlocked, but the trapdoor that leads to the attic was swinging open by the lock, the hinges having been removed.
So they called me, because I'm the boss. And I told them to look around in the attic. And I went upstairs and asked the guy who trained me in what I should do about it and they called again. It seems that more was up. There was another door that had also been unscrewed in the janitor's closet, but there was no one in the attic. I went to check things out, because I'm the boss.
I get up there and see that, verily, verily, they had told the truth and the door had had the hinges unscrewed. I was taking a look around and decided to check out the entire building, when this conversation took place:
Mr. Christian: "It had to be an inside job whoever unscrewed the hinges. They're on the bottom of the door."
The Boss (Me): "Not really, see here -" *I run my fingers along the top side of the door* "- you can unscrew them from the top side."
The New Guy, B-Ball: "How?"
The Boss (Me): "Oh, all you have to do is - I probably shouldn't be telling you how I know, but I used to be a criminal - take a drill bit 'cause the screws are sticking through and catch the screw on it and turn on your power drill and press. They'll spin right out and drop to the floor."
*two beats of nothing happening and neither of them cracking a smile*
The Boss (Me): "I didn't actually used to be a criminal - I'm just smart."
The New Guy, B-Ball: "Well ... you never know."
That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I LOOK LIKE A HARDENED CRIMINAL.
*But, because I am not a friggin' moron, I made sure I got someone to cover for him after an hour and a half.
** "Hey, hey, now, I know what that is. That's a gay joke." -Mr. Christian