Prose log with Jewel
Who: Euram and Jewel
What: Jewel helps Euram out after his discussion with Sasarai, and their relationship grows.
Where: Foyer and Jewel's room.
Euram fled from Sasarai’s office the moment the door was closed. He hadn’t known what to expect at the meeting after being rescued by the bishop, but that wasn’t it. He’d been so upset with Alenia the day before because he hadn’t done anything to deserve that treatment, but after Sasarai indirectly bringing up Lordlake he knew he did, he deserved worse. He considered where he was going only briefly as he reached the bottom of the stairs, his first instinct was to run to Sigurd or someone who would comfort him, but then remembered their last words and halted. He leaned against the railing, looking down.
Jewel had just gotten off shift in the infirmary. It seemed like as soon as someone was healed up and out, someone else was injured and parked in a bed just as the other was vacated. While she was sometimes air headed, the extra stress had made her even more so, getting her distracted by the simplest of things even when not on the job. At the moment, this distraction was a word she couldn't think of, so she was heading to the library to look it up. That's when she saw Euram, looking a bit more frazzled than usual. Still, seeing him put a smile on her face, as it always did.
"Hey there! What's up?" she paused, "Or...down?" She playfully mocked him, looking at the spot on the floor his eyes had been glued to.
As usually happened, Euram was lost in his own world and didn’t notice anyone approaching until she spoke. “Huh?” he said, frightfully snapping his gaze up from the floor. He stared wild-eyed for a moment, before he registered who it was and calmed down enough to put on his customary smirk. “Ah Miss jewel,” he said trying to sound smooth. “Nothing to worry about. I thought I dropped something, and seem to be mistaken.”
However slowly, Jewel was learning, and this time she didn't believe Euram's fib. It made her worry. Euram didn't often do that unless he was pretty upset (which is an oxymoron, because that was actually fairly often). Jewel cocked her head to the side and put a hand on his arm, her smile now replaced with a look of concern.
"What is it?"
“What is it that I dropped?” Euram replied quickly, ready to continue with his lie. However after catching her eye, he quickly deflated, and turned to look at the side. “It is nothing you would want to be involved with I am certain.”
Jewel tried not to look offended. This was Euram, of course she wanted to be involved! Especially if whatever it meant was leaving such a bad taste in Euram's mouth. She couldn't stand by and watch him mope, and not even know what was wrong; She wasn't about to let him off the hook that easy.
"Tell me what's wrong, Euram."
Luckily Euram didn’t notice any offence, mostly because he still wasn’t looking at her, otherwise he would have only moped more at this new area where he could do nothing right. He wanted concern, but he was also trying to impress Jewel. She didn’t know about his past, and he knew he would lose a friend if she did. Thinking these things, he reacted in the only way he knew how; with a tantrum. “There is nothing wrong,” Euram said pouting. “Nothing at all. I must ask you not to assume as there has been far too much of that lately. Yes, nothing is wrong as I am quite through speaking of that shrew.”
"E-Euram...." Jewel looked instantly deflated. She honestly just wanted to make him feel better. "I just wanted to help is all..." Maybe it really was true...maybe nothing had been wrong. But why was he acting like this? What could she even say.
"Shrew....you mean that Alenia?" Her brow furrowed, and scrunched up her face in a way that was cute, when the desired effect was quite the opposite. "Don't pay attention to anything that witch says!" She had forgotten about the short conversation she had had with her. It put her in such a foul mood, and Jewel hated being in a foul mood!
Euram almost winced as Jewel deflated, and he realized he was screwing up again. He wasn’t in the correct mood to apologize, but any thought of that exited his mind when Jewel called Alenia a witch. When he’d said he didn’t want to talk about her anymore, he meant he didn’t want to talk to anyone who might be understanding to her side. His face lit up, a small smile coming to his face at the thought that Jewel would agree with him! “You had the displeasure of her company as well?” he asked, standing slightly taller.
Even that smallest of smiles coming from Euram was a sign of hope. Apparently she hit the nail on the head. She should have known really. Jewel crossed her arms looking all too huffy. "We...exchanged a few words." Jewel hadn't liked Alenia sense she first met her. Fighting her when she sided with the Queen-gone-mad certainly didn't help matters either. Someone like her who didn't even bother to see someone elses' side of things was just...no good. "Why does she have such a problem with you anyway!? It's like she's offended by you just for existing...I bet she's just jealous."
Thoughts of not getting Jewel involved completely vanished in exchange for wanting to draw strength from a likeminded confidant. “Yes, jealousy! Of course, I have said so many times and have been met with only ridicule from others!” Euram complained, not so subtly seeking comfort. “Why…you would not believe, but after that unprovoked attack I was put on trial just moments ago!”
Jewel shook her head with a raised eyebrow, thoroughly confused.
"You were put on trial?! But why!? I can't even think of anyone here who would openly support that...woman after what she's pulled around here!" Jewel was glad he finally opened up. Getting things out would surely help him feel better.
“I don’t know! No…He said it was because of the trouble Alenia caused, but that was a lie. A terrible dreadful lie that I clearly saw through,” Euram rambled, not even thinking about what he was saying. “Why should he be different from anyone else? I am always the one blamed. Even when I do nothing it is somehow my fault….” He trailed off, as his thoughts turned again to things that were his fault, and trying hard not to.
Jewel was struck with a minor look of confusion. "He who?" She put a hand on Euram's arm, that had stopped flailing just long enough for her to do so. Physical contact with Euram had become second nature to her...something which once she noticed, she had to fight off a blush.
Euram noticed the hand, but in his state didn’t think anything odd of it. It was comforting. “The Bishop. With a true rune no less. Oh!” Euram curled up into himself while maintaining the reassuring touch. “To threaten me so…I have done nothing…here..to deserve it, such treatment!” He stopped his gesturing at the end of his rant, and instead looked sadly at Jewel. “Why is she allowed to live free of past sins and I am not…”
Euram's sad look was quite contagious, and Jewel squeezed his arm comfortingly. "Because she..." She stopped. "I don't know..." Something was funny. What was it that Euram was even being punished for anyway? She ventured rather daringly to ask the question. "....What past sin?"
He curled up more, looking like he may even cry, until she asked that question. Instantly his face changed to one of pure shock and horror at what he had admitted to her. “A..na..j..Nothing!” He said very loudly, and suddenly broke contact and spun around so she couldn’t see the worried look on his face. “Oh haha, simple things like anyone might have done,” he laughed off poorly.
Turned around, he may not have been able to see her face, but he could still hear her voice, which was riddled with just as much worry, concern, and confusion as her expression was. She took a step closer...reaching her hand out again to him...then retracting it, wavering. Finally, she did put her hand on his shoulder. "Euram...what is it. Please tell me...You can't keep hiding or changing the subject just because you don't want to talk about something...Or..." and she removed her hand again. "If becuase you don't want me to know." She really was catching on. It's amazing what being around him so much had done.
“I’m not..” Euram instinctively started to contradict, but trailed off mid sentence. He turned his head to the opposite side of Jewel. “I do not wish for you to hate me too,” he finally admitted.
Her breath caught. What in the world could he have possibly done that would make her hate him? She shook her head, she honestly couldn't think of anything Euram could possibly be capable of that would make her hate him. Even if he did do something bad...she knew in her heart he was a good person. Her voice got soft. "Euram....I could never hate you."
That may have been the reaction Euram was hoping for, but it was not one he could accept. “You cannot know that,” he said voice beginning to choke. “The horrors I caused. I not only allowed innocents to die, I relished in it. I was so happy that they were blamed instead, that father and I had succeeded. If my own sister could rightfully turn against me….Find a more worthy recipient of your kindness.” He started walking off, before he could hear her agree to do so. He wanted to be comforted, but the part of him in despair wanted to turn everyone away. It told him how easy it would be since he had so few who cared, and the last words he’d had with the other had been reprimands.
It's true, she was surprised. She honestly didn't know what to say, and before she could even blink it seemed, he was there walking away. She shook her head in disbelief. "Euram! Wait! That....that can't be true."
Euram couldn’t help but pause in his step as the small smile reached his lips again. “Ah, You see! Did I not say it was impossible to forgive before even knowing the sins?” He laughed slightly. It started soft, but grew louder as he realized he was right. Why was he only ever right about these things? “Oh dear,” he said in between a laugh, and rubbed some moisture away from an eye. He shook his head, and began walking again.
This time she grabbed his arm, not wavering in the slightest. She felt on the verge of tears all of the sudden, especially at his laughter. "Euram I'm not going to pass Judgement on you until I know the whole story. I know you..." she had to lower her voice "I know you aren't proud of whatever it is you've done. That much is obvious. You're....You're...." She couldn't let him be right. Not about this. "I refuse to believe you're a bad person!"
“That…that is not a conclusion shared by many,” Euram said. He made no movement to get out of her grip, as defeated as he felt. It was getting harder to find words as, tears actually started to fall. His free arm reached for the handkerchief gentlemen always had to have on their person, and wiped at his face.
Noticing Euram reach for his hankerchief, Jewel found herself having to wipe a tear away too. Why...why was she crying? None of this was true. This was just one of Euram's tricks to get her to leave him alone..but why? No..she knew this was true. This was as truthful as Euram had ever been with her. "I...I really care about you. You know that right...I'm not going to give up on you that easily." And she couldn't help it. She went in to hug him, burying her face in the deep ruffles of his clothing. She had to gather herself. After a moment, she looked at him. "Can we...can we go somewhere else. I want to talk about this more..."
Of everything he expected, a hug was not even on the list. He didn’t even realize he was hugging back, resting his head on her shoulder sobbing lightly, until she moved again. It had felt so comforting and soothing, he could have remained there forever. When she moved, he came to himself and backed off, taking a step back and looking again to the side. “Yes, somewhere else would be far more appropriate.”
Jewel lead the way back to her room. She had managed to wipe away her tears, and suppress them calming her down considerably. Once inside, she took a seat on her bed.
"Well...." She said, rather quietly as she looked at the floor. She had a feeling eye contact was going to be hard to come by in this conversation.
Euram followed behind silently, not sure where Jewel was taking him and not really caring. Having a slight freak out and being consoled had calmed him to a melancholy instead of fits.
He paused just inside the doorway as they reached their destination. Raised in the ways of ‘proper courtship’ fueled by a stronger than healthy obsession with fairytales had made Euram quite old fashioned about some things. He followed her in, shutting the door behind, but remained on the opposite side of the room. He didn’t know where to start, so he saw no reason to.
Jewel took his reluctance as a sign of discomfort relating to the previous, and ensuing conversations. Still, she wasn't sure if she should urge him closer. If he preferred to stand on the other end of the room, she didn't think she could stop him anyway.
"Can I...ask you a question?" Well...she just did, in a way. But she hoped that he wouldn't be in the mood to point that out.
Euram shifted, on his feet, gaze firmly fixed on the wall. “Well..It would be quite difficult to speak without them, haha, ” he said, with a fake laugh to show he wasn’t nervous.
Oh how easy it had become to see through that fakeness. It unsettled Jewel more, but only slightly. The long quiet walk had given her time to think a little, and take in what he had said. She figured her question would probably be difficult to deal with right off the bat, but she honestly couldn't think of anything else to say. It very wall may be her only question.
"You said...you caused innocents to die? I...Why?" She wasn't necessarily looking for specifics on what happened. She just wanted to hear his reasoning. She already knew he felt bad about it now, even if he hadn't when it happened.
Euram opened his mouth to respond the second the question had been asked, but shut it again as it was not what he had been expecting. He hadn’t wanted to answer any question, but he had at least thought he would be able to. It was a good thing he had had time to calm down from his previous hysterics, otherwise he would have just ranting about how he couldn’t do anything right and he was terrible. In his current melancholy was more like the state he was in when he wrote, and so he actually had to consider the question.
Unable to truly hide anything, his face clearly showed the difficulty he was having, coming up with an answer. His brow furrowed, and his eyes darted about as he actually considered it. He looked more like a child coming up with an answer to why he stole a cookie than an adult answering the question at hand. “I…” he was about to say that he didn’t know, but stopped with a sigh before actually answering. “To be better than Gi..the Godwins.”
She actually looked up at him, somewhat surprised at the answer. Not to mention confused. How in the world could causing innocent people to die make you better than someone else? She was sure there was something more to it, but was afraid to ask.
"That's why that Alenia wi-woman dislikes you so much...because of the whole family rivalry thing?" She crossed her arms "All you would have to do to be better than the likes of her is...have an actual beating heart."
The insult to Alenia got an actual laugh to escape Euram. It was just a light chuckle over as quickly as it’d started. “Hmpf, it was well known in Falena that she was a Godwin harlot,” Euram said with a sneer. It was much easier to discuss Alenia’s flaws than his own. “She is just a guard, she should stay out of business that is not hers, or at least learn how to treat her betters.”
Jewel found herself with a weak smile on her face when Euram's mood seemed to pick up. But it quickly returned to one of forlorn. She looked back to the floor.
"...That still doesn't really explain things, though."
“I do not know how to explain,” Euram said, also looking down, all mirth gone instantly. “If we had been found out it would have been the end of us. They had to take the fall.”
It was becoming more and more difficult not to ask for the specifics of what happened, but Jewel knew that she would rather not know.She pushed past it.
"So..." She made herself look up at him again. "You did something...bad. Something wrong. But you now know that it was wrong, and feel bad about it, right?"
Again Euram had to think before answering, even if the answer should have been obvious. He felt her eyes on him, but rather than meeting them he felt scrutinized and shrunk inwards in response. “That is…an incomplete telling, but in short; accurate.”
Her voice started to have a desperate, almost pleading sound to it.
"But even if that is the 'short version'....if it's true then that's all that should matter." She found herself standing up and walking over to him. Before she even realized, she was standing there, taking each of his hands in hers. She looked up at him, forcing a smile. "Right?"
Euram was set to disagree, vehemently, but found it impossible once Jewel was in front of him. For the first time since entering the room they were actually looking at each other at the same time. He wanted to disagree, tell her and himself again how terrible he was, but there was only silence during the eye lock.
Finally, he managed to blink and look away, just to the side of her face. “You are far too kind. If only the world could match your visions.”
Jewel looked into his eyes like a hopeful puppy. When he looked away again and responded finally, she was met with a mix of emotions, but hope was still amongst them, and it showed. She let go of one of his hands, placing it gently on his cheek, making him look back at her.
"Then...I guess you'll just have to get by with me. "
Euram was easily directed in this state, leaning into the hand on his cheek subconsciously. “You are far too brilliant a gem to be able to shine so even by the dark,” he said softly as there was little room between them. He brushed the hand on his cheek with his own, before closing over it so he could lightly kiss the knuckles.
Jewel just sort of chuckled, shaking her head slightly.
"If that's some kind of a metaphor for something...I'm sorry, but I just don't get it." With that, she leaned forward, having to lift up on her toes slightly, and placed a chaste, however lingering kiss on his lips. Even though the action had been entirely hers, she felt a warm flush wash over her cheeks.
Euram froze at the touch. He’d kissed her hand numerous times and other things, but in the world of fairytales that was nothing, this was. He really believe it. Which is why, he explained to himself, that he should lean down and return the gesture…just to be sure.
While Jewel didn't have a lot of experience with guys, she knew that Euram's response to her was a good one. She found herself not wanting to draw back. Instead, with her eyes still closed, she began to run her fingers though Euram's hair, toying with the soft locks that cascaded down the sides of his face. Her other hand, that was still holding onto Euram's, squeezed gently.
It was fortunate that Jewel didn’t have a lot of experience; neither did Euram so he was probably making mistakes. The kiss was longer than the first, but still quite chaste. Euram had been on an emotional rollercoaster for the past few hours, and this unexpected twist brought him close to tears again. He felt himself starting to well up again, and so pulled back but not far.
When Jewel finally opened her eyes at Euram pulling back, she frowned slightly at what she saw. Her hand that was still conveniently placed in his hair moved to comfortingly brush away a tear as it fell.
"No more of that..." she almost whispered. She let go of his hand and instead wrapped both arms around him, pulling them close together. She laid her head on his shoulder. "You have far too handsome a face for it to be stained with tears..." Really, she could get used to this flirting thing.
That one tear was the only one that escaped as a smile broke across his face and a light laugh at her words. He completed the hug, wrapping his arms around her waist, still not entirely sure this was real. “And you have far too much potential to be wasting it so on me…” Euram responded after a moment to think. He swallowed, and pulled back just enough to be able to look at her. “but I will accept it..if that is your wish."
Jewel couldn't have kept from smiling if someone offered her a million potch not to. All she could really do was nod at him, arms still wrapped loosely around him.
"It is."
What: Jewel helps Euram out after his discussion with Sasarai, and their relationship grows.
Where: Foyer and Jewel's room.
Euram fled from Sasarai’s office the moment the door was closed. He hadn’t known what to expect at the meeting after being rescued by the bishop, but that wasn’t it. He’d been so upset with Alenia the day before because he hadn’t done anything to deserve that treatment, but after Sasarai indirectly bringing up Lordlake he knew he did, he deserved worse. He considered where he was going only briefly as he reached the bottom of the stairs, his first instinct was to run to Sigurd or someone who would comfort him, but then remembered their last words and halted. He leaned against the railing, looking down.
Jewel had just gotten off shift in the infirmary. It seemed like as soon as someone was healed up and out, someone else was injured and parked in a bed just as the other was vacated. While she was sometimes air headed, the extra stress had made her even more so, getting her distracted by the simplest of things even when not on the job. At the moment, this distraction was a word she couldn't think of, so she was heading to the library to look it up. That's when she saw Euram, looking a bit more frazzled than usual. Still, seeing him put a smile on her face, as it always did.
"Hey there! What's up?" she paused, "Or...down?" She playfully mocked him, looking at the spot on the floor his eyes had been glued to.
As usually happened, Euram was lost in his own world and didn’t notice anyone approaching until she spoke. “Huh?” he said, frightfully snapping his gaze up from the floor. He stared wild-eyed for a moment, before he registered who it was and calmed down enough to put on his customary smirk. “Ah Miss jewel,” he said trying to sound smooth. “Nothing to worry about. I thought I dropped something, and seem to be mistaken.”
However slowly, Jewel was learning, and this time she didn't believe Euram's fib. It made her worry. Euram didn't often do that unless he was pretty upset (which is an oxymoron, because that was actually fairly often). Jewel cocked her head to the side and put a hand on his arm, her smile now replaced with a look of concern.
"What is it?"
“What is it that I dropped?” Euram replied quickly, ready to continue with his lie. However after catching her eye, he quickly deflated, and turned to look at the side. “It is nothing you would want to be involved with I am certain.”
Jewel tried not to look offended. This was Euram, of course she wanted to be involved! Especially if whatever it meant was leaving such a bad taste in Euram's mouth. She couldn't stand by and watch him mope, and not even know what was wrong; She wasn't about to let him off the hook that easy.
"Tell me what's wrong, Euram."
Luckily Euram didn’t notice any offence, mostly because he still wasn’t looking at her, otherwise he would have only moped more at this new area where he could do nothing right. He wanted concern, but he was also trying to impress Jewel. She didn’t know about his past, and he knew he would lose a friend if she did. Thinking these things, he reacted in the only way he knew how; with a tantrum. “There is nothing wrong,” Euram said pouting. “Nothing at all. I must ask you not to assume as there has been far too much of that lately. Yes, nothing is wrong as I am quite through speaking of that shrew.”
"E-Euram...." Jewel looked instantly deflated. She honestly just wanted to make him feel better. "I just wanted to help is all..." Maybe it really was true...maybe nothing had been wrong. But why was he acting like this? What could she even say.
"Shrew....you mean that Alenia?" Her brow furrowed, and scrunched up her face in a way that was cute, when the desired effect was quite the opposite. "Don't pay attention to anything that witch says!" She had forgotten about the short conversation she had had with her. It put her in such a foul mood, and Jewel hated being in a foul mood!
Euram almost winced as Jewel deflated, and he realized he was screwing up again. He wasn’t in the correct mood to apologize, but any thought of that exited his mind when Jewel called Alenia a witch. When he’d said he didn’t want to talk about her anymore, he meant he didn’t want to talk to anyone who might be understanding to her side. His face lit up, a small smile coming to his face at the thought that Jewel would agree with him! “You had the displeasure of her company as well?” he asked, standing slightly taller.
Even that smallest of smiles coming from Euram was a sign of hope. Apparently she hit the nail on the head. She should have known really. Jewel crossed her arms looking all too huffy. "We...exchanged a few words." Jewel hadn't liked Alenia sense she first met her. Fighting her when she sided with the Queen-gone-mad certainly didn't help matters either. Someone like her who didn't even bother to see someone elses' side of things was just...no good. "Why does she have such a problem with you anyway!? It's like she's offended by you just for existing...I bet she's just jealous."
Thoughts of not getting Jewel involved completely vanished in exchange for wanting to draw strength from a likeminded confidant. “Yes, jealousy! Of course, I have said so many times and have been met with only ridicule from others!” Euram complained, not so subtly seeking comfort. “Why…you would not believe, but after that unprovoked attack I was put on trial just moments ago!”
Jewel shook her head with a raised eyebrow, thoroughly confused.
"You were put on trial?! But why!? I can't even think of anyone here who would openly support that...woman after what she's pulled around here!" Jewel was glad he finally opened up. Getting things out would surely help him feel better.
“I don’t know! No…He said it was because of the trouble Alenia caused, but that was a lie. A terrible dreadful lie that I clearly saw through,” Euram rambled, not even thinking about what he was saying. “Why should he be different from anyone else? I am always the one blamed. Even when I do nothing it is somehow my fault….” He trailed off, as his thoughts turned again to things that were his fault, and trying hard not to.
Jewel was struck with a minor look of confusion. "He who?" She put a hand on Euram's arm, that had stopped flailing just long enough for her to do so. Physical contact with Euram had become second nature to her...something which once she noticed, she had to fight off a blush.
Euram noticed the hand, but in his state didn’t think anything odd of it. It was comforting. “The Bishop. With a true rune no less. Oh!” Euram curled up into himself while maintaining the reassuring touch. “To threaten me so…I have done nothing…here..to deserve it, such treatment!” He stopped his gesturing at the end of his rant, and instead looked sadly at Jewel. “Why is she allowed to live free of past sins and I am not…”
Euram's sad look was quite contagious, and Jewel squeezed his arm comfortingly. "Because she..." She stopped. "I don't know..." Something was funny. What was it that Euram was even being punished for anyway? She ventured rather daringly to ask the question. "....What past sin?"
He curled up more, looking like he may even cry, until she asked that question. Instantly his face changed to one of pure shock and horror at what he had admitted to her. “A..na..j..Nothing!” He said very loudly, and suddenly broke contact and spun around so she couldn’t see the worried look on his face. “Oh haha, simple things like anyone might have done,” he laughed off poorly.
Turned around, he may not have been able to see her face, but he could still hear her voice, which was riddled with just as much worry, concern, and confusion as her expression was. She took a step closer...reaching her hand out again to him...then retracting it, wavering. Finally, she did put her hand on his shoulder. "Euram...what is it. Please tell me...You can't keep hiding or changing the subject just because you don't want to talk about something...Or..." and she removed her hand again. "If becuase you don't want me to know." She really was catching on. It's amazing what being around him so much had done.
“I’m not..” Euram instinctively started to contradict, but trailed off mid sentence. He turned his head to the opposite side of Jewel. “I do not wish for you to hate me too,” he finally admitted.
Her breath caught. What in the world could he have possibly done that would make her hate him? She shook her head, she honestly couldn't think of anything Euram could possibly be capable of that would make her hate him. Even if he did do something bad...she knew in her heart he was a good person. Her voice got soft. "Euram....I could never hate you."
That may have been the reaction Euram was hoping for, but it was not one he could accept. “You cannot know that,” he said voice beginning to choke. “The horrors I caused. I not only allowed innocents to die, I relished in it. I was so happy that they were blamed instead, that father and I had succeeded. If my own sister could rightfully turn against me….Find a more worthy recipient of your kindness.” He started walking off, before he could hear her agree to do so. He wanted to be comforted, but the part of him in despair wanted to turn everyone away. It told him how easy it would be since he had so few who cared, and the last words he’d had with the other had been reprimands.
It's true, she was surprised. She honestly didn't know what to say, and before she could even blink it seemed, he was there walking away. She shook her head in disbelief. "Euram! Wait! That....that can't be true."
Euram couldn’t help but pause in his step as the small smile reached his lips again. “Ah, You see! Did I not say it was impossible to forgive before even knowing the sins?” He laughed slightly. It started soft, but grew louder as he realized he was right. Why was he only ever right about these things? “Oh dear,” he said in between a laugh, and rubbed some moisture away from an eye. He shook his head, and began walking again.
This time she grabbed his arm, not wavering in the slightest. She felt on the verge of tears all of the sudden, especially at his laughter. "Euram I'm not going to pass Judgement on you until I know the whole story. I know you..." she had to lower her voice "I know you aren't proud of whatever it is you've done. That much is obvious. You're....You're...." She couldn't let him be right. Not about this. "I refuse to believe you're a bad person!"
“That…that is not a conclusion shared by many,” Euram said. He made no movement to get out of her grip, as defeated as he felt. It was getting harder to find words as, tears actually started to fall. His free arm reached for the handkerchief gentlemen always had to have on their person, and wiped at his face.
Noticing Euram reach for his hankerchief, Jewel found herself having to wipe a tear away too. Why...why was she crying? None of this was true. This was just one of Euram's tricks to get her to leave him alone..but why? No..she knew this was true. This was as truthful as Euram had ever been with her. "I...I really care about you. You know that right...I'm not going to give up on you that easily." And she couldn't help it. She went in to hug him, burying her face in the deep ruffles of his clothing. She had to gather herself. After a moment, she looked at him. "Can we...can we go somewhere else. I want to talk about this more..."
Of everything he expected, a hug was not even on the list. He didn’t even realize he was hugging back, resting his head on her shoulder sobbing lightly, until she moved again. It had felt so comforting and soothing, he could have remained there forever. When she moved, he came to himself and backed off, taking a step back and looking again to the side. “Yes, somewhere else would be far more appropriate.”
Jewel lead the way back to her room. She had managed to wipe away her tears, and suppress them calming her down considerably. Once inside, she took a seat on her bed.
"Well...." She said, rather quietly as she looked at the floor. She had a feeling eye contact was going to be hard to come by in this conversation.
Euram followed behind silently, not sure where Jewel was taking him and not really caring. Having a slight freak out and being consoled had calmed him to a melancholy instead of fits.
He paused just inside the doorway as they reached their destination. Raised in the ways of ‘proper courtship’ fueled by a stronger than healthy obsession with fairytales had made Euram quite old fashioned about some things. He followed her in, shutting the door behind, but remained on the opposite side of the room. He didn’t know where to start, so he saw no reason to.
Jewel took his reluctance as a sign of discomfort relating to the previous, and ensuing conversations. Still, she wasn't sure if she should urge him closer. If he preferred to stand on the other end of the room, she didn't think she could stop him anyway.
"Can I...ask you a question?" Well...she just did, in a way. But she hoped that he wouldn't be in the mood to point that out.
Euram shifted, on his feet, gaze firmly fixed on the wall. “Well..It would be quite difficult to speak without them, haha, ” he said, with a fake laugh to show he wasn’t nervous.
Oh how easy it had become to see through that fakeness. It unsettled Jewel more, but only slightly. The long quiet walk had given her time to think a little, and take in what he had said. She figured her question would probably be difficult to deal with right off the bat, but she honestly couldn't think of anything else to say. It very wall may be her only question.
"You said...you caused innocents to die? I...Why?" She wasn't necessarily looking for specifics on what happened. She just wanted to hear his reasoning. She already knew he felt bad about it now, even if he hadn't when it happened.
Euram opened his mouth to respond the second the question had been asked, but shut it again as it was not what he had been expecting. He hadn’t wanted to answer any question, but he had at least thought he would be able to. It was a good thing he had had time to calm down from his previous hysterics, otherwise he would have just ranting about how he couldn’t do anything right and he was terrible. In his current melancholy was more like the state he was in when he wrote, and so he actually had to consider the question.
Unable to truly hide anything, his face clearly showed the difficulty he was having, coming up with an answer. His brow furrowed, and his eyes darted about as he actually considered it. He looked more like a child coming up with an answer to why he stole a cookie than an adult answering the question at hand. “I…” he was about to say that he didn’t know, but stopped with a sigh before actually answering. “To be better than Gi..the Godwins.”
She actually looked up at him, somewhat surprised at the answer. Not to mention confused. How in the world could causing innocent people to die make you better than someone else? She was sure there was something more to it, but was afraid to ask.
"That's why that Alenia wi-woman dislikes you so much...because of the whole family rivalry thing?" She crossed her arms "All you would have to do to be better than the likes of her is...have an actual beating heart."
The insult to Alenia got an actual laugh to escape Euram. It was just a light chuckle over as quickly as it’d started. “Hmpf, it was well known in Falena that she was a Godwin harlot,” Euram said with a sneer. It was much easier to discuss Alenia’s flaws than his own. “She is just a guard, she should stay out of business that is not hers, or at least learn how to treat her betters.”
Jewel found herself with a weak smile on her face when Euram's mood seemed to pick up. But it quickly returned to one of forlorn. She looked back to the floor.
"...That still doesn't really explain things, though."
“I do not know how to explain,” Euram said, also looking down, all mirth gone instantly. “If we had been found out it would have been the end of us. They had to take the fall.”
It was becoming more and more difficult not to ask for the specifics of what happened, but Jewel knew that she would rather not know.She pushed past it.
"So..." She made herself look up at him again. "You did something...bad. Something wrong. But you now know that it was wrong, and feel bad about it, right?"
Again Euram had to think before answering, even if the answer should have been obvious. He felt her eyes on him, but rather than meeting them he felt scrutinized and shrunk inwards in response. “That is…an incomplete telling, but in short; accurate.”
Her voice started to have a desperate, almost pleading sound to it.
"But even if that is the 'short version'....if it's true then that's all that should matter." She found herself standing up and walking over to him. Before she even realized, she was standing there, taking each of his hands in hers. She looked up at him, forcing a smile. "Right?"
Euram was set to disagree, vehemently, but found it impossible once Jewel was in front of him. For the first time since entering the room they were actually looking at each other at the same time. He wanted to disagree, tell her and himself again how terrible he was, but there was only silence during the eye lock.
Finally, he managed to blink and look away, just to the side of her face. “You are far too kind. If only the world could match your visions.”
Jewel looked into his eyes like a hopeful puppy. When he looked away again and responded finally, she was met with a mix of emotions, but hope was still amongst them, and it showed. She let go of one of his hands, placing it gently on his cheek, making him look back at her.
"Then...I guess you'll just have to get by with me. "
Euram was easily directed in this state, leaning into the hand on his cheek subconsciously. “You are far too brilliant a gem to be able to shine so even by the dark,” he said softly as there was little room between them. He brushed the hand on his cheek with his own, before closing over it so he could lightly kiss the knuckles.
Jewel just sort of chuckled, shaking her head slightly.
"If that's some kind of a metaphor for something...I'm sorry, but I just don't get it." With that, she leaned forward, having to lift up on her toes slightly, and placed a chaste, however lingering kiss on his lips. Even though the action had been entirely hers, she felt a warm flush wash over her cheeks.
Euram froze at the touch. He’d kissed her hand numerous times and other things, but in the world of fairytales that was nothing, this was. He really believe it. Which is why, he explained to himself, that he should lean down and return the gesture…just to be sure.
While Jewel didn't have a lot of experience with guys, she knew that Euram's response to her was a good one. She found herself not wanting to draw back. Instead, with her eyes still closed, she began to run her fingers though Euram's hair, toying with the soft locks that cascaded down the sides of his face. Her other hand, that was still holding onto Euram's, squeezed gently.
It was fortunate that Jewel didn’t have a lot of experience; neither did Euram so he was probably making mistakes. The kiss was longer than the first, but still quite chaste. Euram had been on an emotional rollercoaster for the past few hours, and this unexpected twist brought him close to tears again. He felt himself starting to well up again, and so pulled back but not far.
When Jewel finally opened her eyes at Euram pulling back, she frowned slightly at what she saw. Her hand that was still conveniently placed in his hair moved to comfortingly brush away a tear as it fell.
"No more of that..." she almost whispered. She let go of his hand and instead wrapped both arms around him, pulling them close together. She laid her head on his shoulder. "You have far too handsome a face for it to be stained with tears..." Really, she could get used to this flirting thing.
That one tear was the only one that escaped as a smile broke across his face and a light laugh at her words. He completed the hug, wrapping his arms around her waist, still not entirely sure this was real. “And you have far too much potential to be wasting it so on me…” Euram responded after a moment to think. He swallowed, and pulled back just enough to be able to look at her. “but I will accept it..if that is your wish."
Jewel couldn't have kept from smiling if someone offered her a million potch not to. All she could really do was nod at him, arms still wrapped loosely around him.
"It is."