poems
Well here are some poems...there are a lot...so read the ones you want...but be warned that some are disturbing (ill place them at the end)
~If~
If I asked you to care,
Would you dare?
If I cried,
Would you be there for me?
If I were to ask you for a friend,
Would you be one to me?
If I cry,
Will you cry with me?
If you ask for help,
I'll be there.
If you cry,
I'll make you laugh.
If you die
You’ll go to heaven
And hopefully wait for me.
If I die,
I’ll go to heaven
And wait for you.
If you leave,
I will follow.
If you’re lost,
I will guide you.
If I tell you a secret,
Would you keep it?
If I fall,
Will you help me up?
If you knew you were going to die tomorrow,
What would you do?
If you live to be 100 years,
I want to live to be 100 minus one because…
I can’t live a day without you.
If…
~Voices~
Voices, I hear them
They are around me,
They are in my head.
The voices tell me I wanna be dead.
The voices around me tell me they care,
Some tell me they don't.
The voices are all around me.
They come from everywhere.
I don't like the voices, sometimes.
I tell them to leave and they do.
Ah Yes! The voices their gone.
The voices they compale me to write.
Sometimes I write things that I don't want to.
The voices force me to write even more...
~This Addiction~
This addiction will never go away.
It may go away for a while,
But then it comes back.
This addiction I think about it everyday.
It never leaves my mind.
At first it wasn’t an addiction.
But now it is and it won’t leave my mind.
I talk about wanting to do “it” all the time,
But never do.
Scare people, by saying I’m gonna do it,
Knowing deep down I’m not.
I try and convince you to believe that I won’t.
But it doesn’t seem to work.
I make others life hell.
Making people think I’ll do it again when I won’t,
I haven’t done this addiction in over 130 days,
Hoping to kick this addiction out of my mind,
Never doing it again.
But wait, I have another addiction.
Not eating,
But this may not seem like an addiction,
In my mind it is an addiction,
I need to get rid of my addictions.
Maybe on day I will,
But it seems like no time soon,
One day I will,
Maybe I can by myself,
Maybe with help.
I don’t think I can do this by myself,
My friends help me through all the hard times,
I don’t thank them but feel I need to.
I will one day thank them for all they’ve done,
How much they’ve helped,
And thank them for being there for me when I need them most.
~I Don’t Know What To Think~
I sit here,
Trying to figure out what’s going through my head.
I don’t know.
I think what have I ever done to you,
To make you hate me and make you talk about me behind my back?
Yeah I don’t like you,
Who cares?
I don’t talk about you behind your back.
At this point I don’t know what to think.
I don’t know what’s going through my mind.
I hate myself at times but then…
Then I love myself at times.
I am who I am.
I can’t change that.
I don’t know why I am the way I am but I’m me…
If you don’t like me the way I am…
Deal with it I won’t change for just one person.
I like me the way I am.
Many things run through my head,
I don’t know exactly what at times,
So many things run through my head that I don’t know what to think at times.
People confuse me,
Use me,
And trash me.
They think I’m a piece of dirt that they can just walk on…
It hurts inside and they don’t know it,
I allow it and let it roll off my back,
Forgetting about it.
“I have lost the will to live,
Nothing more to give.”
Friends keep me straight,
Making me face reality,
I realize my world is falling apart.
I don’t know what to think anymore.
Since my brain is so full I take this object and cut my skin,
Blood running down my arm,
I’m faced with the reality of life once again,
When I wake up in the morning.
Since I don’t know what to think,
I keep cutting,
Now I’ve stopped.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO THINK!
~Again~
The TV’s on,
A girl sitting in her bed gets up,
She was watching the TV,
She goes to her desk.
Opens it then opens a door in her desk,
She grabs something,
It’s a razor.
What’s she going to do?
She lifts up her shirt,
Puts the razor to her skin.
Then blood appears.
She pulls the razor across her skin,
Again,
And again,
Until she’s satisfied.
Not knowing what she’s doing until she stops.
She finishes…
Puts a band-aid over.
The band-aid is made of some tape and gauze,
When she wakes up she takes the bandage off,
Then cleans the blood and gets dressed.
She goes to school knowing she different.
The difference is obvious to her but no one else.
She gets home having to face everything once again.
She decides to not cut for that night.
Even though she wants that feeling back.
Some days she lives life in shame.
Ashamed of herself for what she’s done.
No one knows about her secrets or her life.
She goes back to watching her TV once again…