Reborn, a Dean/Cas ficlet
Title: Reborn
Pairing: Cas/Dean
Rating:G-ish
warnings:Dark. Spoilers all the way through the current episode of Season 7
I can tell you all the things that I felt the last time I looked back at you, before the souls erupted from my body. I said I’m sorry because I did not have the heart to say goodbye. You were the last thing I saw in my mind’s eye before it all went dark, even through the pain.
I tried to hold them off. To protect you. I meant what I said, I would make it up to you. So I tried Dean, so hard.
I was in there, the whole time. It was dark, and cold, and alone and all I wanted was one thing. To be wrapped in your arms, to hear you say you loved me, you forgave me. Were those things too much to ask? I could see them in your eyes.
As I walked into the water, he wouldn’t let me look back, and honestly, I don’t think I could have. Baptized anew in a black pool. Fallen completely at last, I sank. The water was cold as I pulled the trench coat off. I wanted you to have it. To feel it. To know that I would always fight to come back to you.
I am not sure where I am now, but I can see you sometimes. When I’m sleeping. On leaves and dirt. Naked like Adam, I am reborn. I am Castiel and he is gone. I wish every day you would find me, clothe me, hold me. I wonder if you look at the coat, breath in any smell that might be left of me.
Are you looking? I’m weak, but I fight. I catch food, my stomach hungers. I bleed and don’t heal, and my heart, it aches. More than when I was an Angel. I see you telling Death to kill me, calling me a child. I still believe in you, believe this can be alright.
I’ll keep looking for you even if all the demons from hell come after me, I will not stop.
Please tell me you won’t stop either.
Pairing: Cas/Dean
Rating:G-ish
warnings:Dark. Spoilers all the way through the current episode of Season 7
I can tell you all the things that I felt the last time I looked back at you, before the souls erupted from my body. I said I’m sorry because I did not have the heart to say goodbye. You were the last thing I saw in my mind’s eye before it all went dark, even through the pain.
I tried to hold them off. To protect you. I meant what I said, I would make it up to you. So I tried Dean, so hard.
I was in there, the whole time. It was dark, and cold, and alone and all I wanted was one thing. To be wrapped in your arms, to hear you say you loved me, you forgave me. Were those things too much to ask? I could see them in your eyes.
As I walked into the water, he wouldn’t let me look back, and honestly, I don’t think I could have. Baptized anew in a black pool. Fallen completely at last, I sank. The water was cold as I pulled the trench coat off. I wanted you to have it. To feel it. To know that I would always fight to come back to you.
I am not sure where I am now, but I can see you sometimes. When I’m sleeping. On leaves and dirt. Naked like Adam, I am reborn. I am Castiel and he is gone. I wish every day you would find me, clothe me, hold me. I wonder if you look at the coat, breath in any smell that might be left of me.
Are you looking? I’m weak, but I fight. I catch food, my stomach hungers. I bleed and don’t heal, and my heart, it aches. More than when I was an Angel. I see you telling Death to kill me, calling me a child. I still believe in you, believe this can be alright.
I’ll keep looking for you even if all the demons from hell come after me, I will not stop.
Please tell me you won’t stop either.