[Original] The Writer
Title: The Writer
Author: Reya
Type: Original
Length: Vignette
Genre: general, nostalgia
Rating: none
Summary: She likes to write because that’s what keeps her sane
Warnings: unbetaed
She likes to write sometimes, when inspiration strikes and worlds that have no secrets for her are drawn on the page into paralyzed words that try to describe feelings she wants to know the meaning of. She writes of love, of sadness, of cruel loneliness and of depressed moments when she barely makes it out of her bed. Then she dresses everything in beautiful sentences and little princess gowns and alienates the story from reality, keeping the fiction to be the reign of a lifetime novel she has yet to know the end of, but of which she knows every little dark corner and hidden emotion.
She likes to write because that’s what keeps her sane. She transfers her pains to her characters, makes them suffer as much as her inner self struggles and tries to figure out a solution. She mirrors herself into the page and with every word she lays down she feels a little more at ease (or a little more dried out of emotions). Sometimes she wonders if the page has some kind of magical powers that numb her out of everything she rips from her heart to piece it together on the blank surface.
But there are times she wants to describe life in its complexity and it saddens her to discover how much of a failure that attempt turns out to be. She sees pieces of the puzzle everywhere: in the way her colleague speaks so much it sometimes stresses her yet she understands the reason behind the behavior, in the way her friend forgets to care about others just because she’s a horny bitch and her needs come first, even in the way one of her superiors sort of mimics every word she speaks (maybe to understand it better), feeling so strange she has to look anywhere else in order to concentrate on what she’s saying. She has all this little pieces, but she can’t actually puzzle them together. She simply fails to see the big picture.
It leaves her confused and hurt. Does that mean she never truly understood life?