cause its been 18 days
I really don't understand people. Why they act the way they do, say the things they do, etc.
I mean, really? Do things have to be this way? I hate it. Someone is either going to get shot
or go to jail over all of this. It's really ridiculous. I want to be friends, I don't know what I want
from him, or really from even myself. I don't like where I'm at right now, and I wish things were
different. Every other minute I want to move back home, and then I'm not sure. I just wish I knew
what to do....too bad life doesn't come with an instruction manual. I don't like hurting people, I
really don't. I always tend to lie, to not hurt people's feelings, then ending up hurting them anyway.
I don't mean I lie all the time, not at all. I just wish it were easier for me to be mean? That doesn't
sound right, but I know what I mean. I try hard to be honest, and real with people...it just seems
like I always find a way to mess it up. Lately, I like less and less people. Or maybe I shouldn't say
that exactly, it's just easier for them to piss me off? Not for a long time, but a minute. They just act
really stupid and don't care about shit. No wonder, though. It doesn't belong to them, why should
they? God, it makes me mad thinking about it. Why can't you act like you're mature and not five
years old? Sure, it's fun to run around and act stupid, but there are times to act mature, and you
don't seem to realize that. Maybe I should just back up a while. I'm really tired of bullshit people,
and bullshit in general. Time to grow up, okay? Starting today, I'm going to change even more than
i apparently already have. It's time for me to be the person I want to be, instead of who everyone
else wants me to be. I have no obligation to choose one friend over the other, no matter what
their problem with each other is. It doesn't involve me, I don't care anymore. I will do what I like,
say what I like, hang out with who I like, think what I want, and feel how I want. I am absolutely
done living for everyone else. I love my friends and family, but right now, I need to focus on me.
I hope this works out, because if not, I'm not sure what else to do.
But to me it feels just like, it feels like a lifetime I'm trying hard to re-arrange Some say it's the hardest thing to do But that's just too many days without you And I know what they say about all good things Will they come to an end, but I'll fight this time So that we might have a chance at this