Long overdue.

[fallenascalon]

This may be the first day in almost half a year that I have truly sat down and done some thinking, done something to really reflect. So here's the TL;DR of it: I'm depressed and managing. From June to mid-August, I was doing absolutely fantastic. I have (always had) self-discipline issues. Love is a double-edged sword. Father not talking to me

Comments

[n1ghtkid]

amazing, judd. i'm glad you shared that with us

[fallenascalon]

:)

[fallenascalon]

I will. I just need to wait for my insurance to kick in (which I will get after working at Starbucks for two more months), and then I suppose I'll give it a shot. I mean, things are worth trying at least once!

Also, I miss you and I hope you're doing well. :)

[sonofffej]

TL;DR.

I'm kidding, I totally read it. :)

[fallenascalon]

Until I scrolled down I was ouchin'. Jerkoff. <3

[amhranai9]

I don't really know what to say, (apart from you are such a good writer!), but I want you to know that I *completely* understand everything you've just written about.

Breaking off long relationships is ridiculously hard. Granted, mine was half as long as yours, but it was just a complicated, just as painful, and was also complicated by "testing the waters" to know what it was like. I know what you mean about acting so mature all the time, about holding yourself to impossibly high standards, about needing others to support you.

I wrote an entry the other day that I ended up keeping private, but I talked about how I've been on medication for a year now. It's helped me cope, but at the same time I can't help thinking I'm underreacting to the enormous amounts of stress I've been under. Medication is a good way to stabilize yourself, if you want to try it out, but in the long run I found therapy FAR more helpful.

I love you lots and send you happy thoughts!
xoxoxo

[fallenascalon]

Aw, thank you Emma. Your constant reinforcement of my writing really makes me feel good. :)

I'm simultaneously disheartened and glad that you have endured the same hardship because we have something we can really relate about (as strange or insensitive as that comes off). I find that I often have my friends' support, but not one friend who can really understand what I'm going through.

I would like to continue therapy, but as it stands, since I am not a full-time student, I am not covered by my mom's insurance. I will be getting it from Starbucks though when I work for two more months, so hopefully that kicks in (I need 20 hours a week at least. I can DO it, but they may not always give it to me...)

Thanks always for love and happy thoughts. <3

[comebacknow]

i love you, judd. [=
i have nothing else to say that hasn't already been said.

although...

"Well, I'm neither an R&B singer nor a hypocrite, so I didn't say either."

i disagree.
you could totally be an R&B singer any day you want.
no lie. o_o
<3

[fallenascalon]

Bianca, you are sweeter than sugar. :D

I love you too, kiddo.

[comebacknow]

not that "sugar in the raw" sugar though.
that shit is suhWEET!

XD
thanks for the coffee today!