maybe i just do it because i'm so afraid of being innocent. i hate it. i hate being just like a little girl. it's bad enough that i look like i'm twelve; do i have to act it, too ( Read more... )

in other news, i'm starting to get irritable again. i hate how i'm just expected to be certain places every single night just because i'm there so often. so what if i want a little time by myself? my roommate isn't here, i'm not tired, i can stay up as long as i want writing novels & letters & talking online & listening to music. i hate how nothing ( Read more... )

i want to put the link to my LJ back in my AIM profile, but i also kind of don't. i don't want people to start reading it & always assuming what i'm writing is about them specifically. i don't need the "are you okay? i read your journal and you seemed upset!" from people, either. meh.

goodness. i'm so glad that i'm doing NaNoWriMo again this year ( Read more... )

you don't need anyone else to make you happy.
i don't need anyone else to make me happy.

&that's all for now.

i want to be in love with life. some days i am, but others... i'm just not. and my god, i want to stop being such a jealous person. it's just hard. i feel like i have nothing to appreciate myself for. what am i good at? when am i going to find it? and why is it so hard to accept that i'll never be good at the few things that could possibly BE my ( Read more... )

i am so gross right now. i just feel... blech. way tired. i went downtown today with some of the guys across the hall, then i came home and talked to both sara and kristina forever. good times. then i decided to go over to aj's, and pretty much five minutes after i got there i was asleep. so from about 8-10:30, i had a nap, so i'll never get to ( Read more... )

so last night i made out with a kid who had just turned 15 in august. for some reason, i find this greatly amusing and feel the need to tell everyone. huh ( Read more... )

so little miss krystin made use of the student counseling center today. if you know me, you'll know how big of a deal that is. if you don't, well, i'm proud of myself. so there ( Read more... )

and sometimes, i really don't believe how far i've come. just little victories, tiny triumphs, but still quite exciting. i feel like i've left behind all the people/things that were weighing me down & i'm finally able to be free of it. i'm done missing people who didn't care enough. i'm done with being like that, & i've been done for awhile. and ( Read more... )

here's a secret. i do believe in love, i'm just so afraid i'll never find it. that's why i'm so bitter. shh, don't tell. cause, y'know, it's not obvious or anything ( Read more... )