March Madness, Day 29, The Office, Jim/Pam
Fandom: The Office
Pairing: Jim/Pam
Rating: PG
Word Count: 907
Notes: Whoa, something actually written in the right-this-very-second timeline.
She worries about it all weekend, knows that she should tell Jim, warn him, but she always ends up staring at her cell phone, practicing the call, and always only getting as far as, “Hey, Jim.”
So Monday comes, and Jim strolls in, oblivious. He hangs up his coat and wishes her good morning as he sets his bag down by his chair.
“Hey, Jim,” she says, and dammit, she’s out of ideas.
She can feel eyes on her-on them-because, of course, everyone was there, everyone saw what Roy did, and even if they don’t know all the details why, they know it’s about her and Jim.
“I need to…. Can we talk?” she says, and she knows she’s still avoiding the hard part, but baby steps, she thinks.
His mouth quirks off to the side the way it does when he’s confused, and he says, “Sure.”
He starts to turn for the breakroom, but she nods out the door. He says nothing as he follows her down the hall to the stairwell on the far side of the building, and she says nothing as she listens to the footsteps of Jim and the camera crew following her out onto the landing.
“What’s up?”
“I told Roy,” she says and rushes to clarify when she sees his blank look. “I told him about what happened between us at the Casino night.” And she can’t help glancing at the camera as she finishes because it was their only witness that night, just like now.
Jim squints at her. “When?”
“Friday night. At the bar.” Her head is filled with shouting and broken glass, and she shuts her eyes, hoping to make it disappear.
“Wait, but what about… what about the summer? You mean, you called your wedding off, and you didn’t even tell him why?”
Her eyes fly open, and he’s looking down at her with this mixture of disappointment and anger, and it’s the second one that makes her heart start pounding because she’s never had that look turned toward her before.
“I did not call my marriage off because of you,” she tells him, her voice low, and she really hopes he can’t tell how close she is to crying.
“Really?” he says, and she cuts him off before he can go on.
“I didn’t marry Roy because I wasn’t happy with Roy!”
He shrugs. “You just woke up one morning and decided he’s not the guy for you, all of a sudden.”
“No, I just… I realized…. It wasn’t easy, you know. He and I have….”
“A lot in common? Chemistry? Fun? Stimulating conversation? What exactly do you and Roy have, Pam?”
And she hates when he’s like this, when he thinks he’s so smart, and she can feel her lips start to tremble as she says, “History. We have history.”
Jim’s staring at the floor, hands on his hips, lips set in a straight line. The camera man takes a step back, and Pam wishes for the hundredth time that she could just live her life without the camera mocking her every move, and that’s when she feels the tears spill over and burn their way down her cheeks.
“Pam.” Jim lets out a sigh and looks up at her and even with blurred vision, she can see the immediate change in his posture, his hands dropping down to her sides, his face softening. “Pam,” he says again, and this time his hand is touching her shoulder, one finger tentatively brushing the curls of her hair.
This is not how this conversation was supposed to go. She was supposed to tell him, warn him, perhaps apologize, and then she was supposed to put as much emotional and physical distance between herself and Jim as possible before things got any worse.
But he’s wrapped his arms around her, and her head is against his chest, his cheek resting against her hair, and this is not what’s supposed to happen.
“I love you,” she whispers before she can stop herself, and it’s so not the time to be saying it, not like when he said it when she was having fun and feeling pretty and happy. And now she’s a wreck in stupid work clothes with scuffed shoes, her face a mess with tears and snot and oh god she’s probably ruined Jim’s shirt now too, and this is not how she wants to remember finally telling him.
But the cameras are there leaving her a permanent record and no choice.
“Do you mean that?” he asks her, and the question makes her laugh a little even though the movement of his lips against the top of her head is the most sobering, serious thing she’s experienced in a while.
“Yeah, I do,” she says, and she’s finally able to look up at him.
“Because I’ve loved you since about a week after I met you,” he tells her, his eyes dark and so close, and his mouth curling into a grin, and as his thumbs wipe the tears off her cheeks, she finds that she’s smiling, too. “And I know things are a mess right now, but…we’ll figure it out.”
“But Roy-”
And what she should really be worried about is the But Karen that’s lingering in her mind, but he repeats, “We’ll figure it out.” And with the words finally said between them, with no more secrets and his hands warm on her face, she believes him.
Pairing: Jim/Pam
Rating: PG
Word Count: 907
Notes: Whoa, something actually written in the right-this-very-second timeline.
She worries about it all weekend, knows that she should tell Jim, warn him, but she always ends up staring at her cell phone, practicing the call, and always only getting as far as, “Hey, Jim.”
So Monday comes, and Jim strolls in, oblivious. He hangs up his coat and wishes her good morning as he sets his bag down by his chair.
“Hey, Jim,” she says, and dammit, she’s out of ideas.
She can feel eyes on her-on them-because, of course, everyone was there, everyone saw what Roy did, and even if they don’t know all the details why, they know it’s about her and Jim.
“I need to…. Can we talk?” she says, and she knows she’s still avoiding the hard part, but baby steps, she thinks.
His mouth quirks off to the side the way it does when he’s confused, and he says, “Sure.”
He starts to turn for the breakroom, but she nods out the door. He says nothing as he follows her down the hall to the stairwell on the far side of the building, and she says nothing as she listens to the footsteps of Jim and the camera crew following her out onto the landing.
“What’s up?”
“I told Roy,” she says and rushes to clarify when she sees his blank look. “I told him about what happened between us at the Casino night.” And she can’t help glancing at the camera as she finishes because it was their only witness that night, just like now.
Jim squints at her. “When?”
“Friday night. At the bar.” Her head is filled with shouting and broken glass, and she shuts her eyes, hoping to make it disappear.
“Wait, but what about… what about the summer? You mean, you called your wedding off, and you didn’t even tell him why?”
Her eyes fly open, and he’s looking down at her with this mixture of disappointment and anger, and it’s the second one that makes her heart start pounding because she’s never had that look turned toward her before.
“I did not call my marriage off because of you,” she tells him, her voice low, and she really hopes he can’t tell how close she is to crying.
“Really?” he says, and she cuts him off before he can go on.
“I didn’t marry Roy because I wasn’t happy with Roy!”
He shrugs. “You just woke up one morning and decided he’s not the guy for you, all of a sudden.”
“No, I just… I realized…. It wasn’t easy, you know. He and I have….”
“A lot in common? Chemistry? Fun? Stimulating conversation? What exactly do you and Roy have, Pam?”
And she hates when he’s like this, when he thinks he’s so smart, and she can feel her lips start to tremble as she says, “History. We have history.”
Jim’s staring at the floor, hands on his hips, lips set in a straight line. The camera man takes a step back, and Pam wishes for the hundredth time that she could just live her life without the camera mocking her every move, and that’s when she feels the tears spill over and burn their way down her cheeks.
“Pam.” Jim lets out a sigh and looks up at her and even with blurred vision, she can see the immediate change in his posture, his hands dropping down to her sides, his face softening. “Pam,” he says again, and this time his hand is touching her shoulder, one finger tentatively brushing the curls of her hair.
This is not how this conversation was supposed to go. She was supposed to tell him, warn him, perhaps apologize, and then she was supposed to put as much emotional and physical distance between herself and Jim as possible before things got any worse.
But he’s wrapped his arms around her, and her head is against his chest, his cheek resting against her hair, and this is not what’s supposed to happen.
“I love you,” she whispers before she can stop herself, and it’s so not the time to be saying it, not like when he said it when she was having fun and feeling pretty and happy. And now she’s a wreck in stupid work clothes with scuffed shoes, her face a mess with tears and snot and oh god she’s probably ruined Jim’s shirt now too, and this is not how she wants to remember finally telling him.
But the cameras are there leaving her a permanent record and no choice.
“Do you mean that?” he asks her, and the question makes her laugh a little even though the movement of his lips against the top of her head is the most sobering, serious thing she’s experienced in a while.
“Yeah, I do,” she says, and she’s finally able to look up at him.
“Because I’ve loved you since about a week after I met you,” he tells her, his eyes dark and so close, and his mouth curling into a grin, and as his thumbs wipe the tears off her cheeks, she finds that she’s smiling, too. “And I know things are a mess right now, but…we’ll figure it out.”
“But Roy-”
And what she should really be worried about is the But Karen that’s lingering in her mind, but he repeats, “We’ll figure it out.” And with the words finally said between them, with no more secrets and his hands warm on her face, she believes him.