Waste Another Year, The Office, Jim/Pam, PG
Title: Waste Another Year
Fandom: The Office
Pairing: Jim/Pam
Rating: PG
Notes: "Casino Night." Unofficially doing 30_tears meaning I didn't sign up or anything. For 28: decision.
“I can’t,” she says, and it kills her because he’s just said exactly what she’s wanted to hear for so long. He’s just put it all out there for her, risked everything, just for the chance that she’ll say yes. But she can’t. And the moment she says it, she sees the tears in his eyes and she feels sick, absolutely ill, like she’s just killed someone. Or maybe, whatever that feels like. That’s not the point.
He’s crying. Or trying not to, which is close enough, and she can’t handle that.
“You have no idea what your friendship means to me,” she starts, but even as she’s saying it, they both know that it’s not enough.
All she wants to do is throw her arms around his neck. All she wants to do is tell him of course she can, she can and she will and she wants to more than anything in the world. All she wants to do is stop the tears that he quickly and discretely wipes away because she knows how much they hurt. She knows a thing or two about trying to give everything to someone and have them push it aside.
And the thing is, he’s just so Jim about it-sweet and thoughtful and gentle. Apologizing, even. Apologizing to her while she breaks his heart. And for a minute as she listens to his calmly retreating footsteps, she wishes he would get mad. She wishes he would grab her by the wrists and yell that he knows she feels the same way about him and that she’s wasting her time with Roy and what more is she waiting for? But that’s not him. And this is just more of the same routine with Pam being Pam and Jim being Jim and neither of them getting anywhere. Because she can’t be the girl who sees that maybe she’s been dreaming the wrong dream all along, and he can’t be the guy who’ll shake her so hard that she wakes up.
Fandom: The Office
Pairing: Jim/Pam
Rating: PG
Notes: "Casino Night." Unofficially doing 30_tears meaning I didn't sign up or anything. For 28: decision.
“I can’t,” she says, and it kills her because he’s just said exactly what she’s wanted to hear for so long. He’s just put it all out there for her, risked everything, just for the chance that she’ll say yes. But she can’t. And the moment she says it, she sees the tears in his eyes and she feels sick, absolutely ill, like she’s just killed someone. Or maybe, whatever that feels like. That’s not the point.
He’s crying. Or trying not to, which is close enough, and she can’t handle that.
“You have no idea what your friendship means to me,” she starts, but even as she’s saying it, they both know that it’s not enough.
All she wants to do is throw her arms around his neck. All she wants to do is tell him of course she can, she can and she will and she wants to more than anything in the world. All she wants to do is stop the tears that he quickly and discretely wipes away because she knows how much they hurt. She knows a thing or two about trying to give everything to someone and have them push it aside.
And the thing is, he’s just so Jim about it-sweet and thoughtful and gentle. Apologizing, even. Apologizing to her while she breaks his heart. And for a minute as she listens to his calmly retreating footsteps, she wishes he would get mad. She wishes he would grab her by the wrists and yell that he knows she feels the same way about him and that she’s wasting her time with Roy and what more is she waiting for? But that’s not him. And this is just more of the same routine with Pam being Pam and Jim being Jim and neither of them getting anywhere. Because she can’t be the girl who sees that maybe she’s been dreaming the wrong dream all along, and he can’t be the guy who’ll shake her so hard that she wakes up.