the pain behind these eyes.....
all that Ive wanted is was waiting for me here in the end
now that my time is spent I get what I have always wanted
All of my lifes beginnings are coming to an end
this is the place where blood and tears blend
and this time I know its real
cause now I can actually feel
friends and family waiting with a roses of red
laying them down by the toumbstone above my head
memories ripping through their head
trying to figure out if their was anything I said
to warm, to forewarn to give hint of my suicide
they blind themselves to protect their pride
ignoring the obvious and observing the falcities
the lies I fed them full till I could feed them no more
the deception drew to an end with my departing
now they are left behind to wonder
if my life was mine or theirs to plunder.
I slit my wrist and you wonder why
ask again and Ill tell a lie
I tried to show you and you turned away
I begged you to stay but you said no way
now you see these scars on me
now you see them and wont let me be
I asked you before in a meaningfull plea
but you did not want to see
but now you know from the pain I show
Now I opened up and told you so
eyes wide opened you stared in shock
now you listen where once you mocked
now you see this pain I carry
a horror dark bleek and scary
one thats made me weak and brittle
now youve sen and are caught in the middle
now your heart is torn
where mine is worn
you offer your hand when I dont need it anymore
trying to do something you should have done before
now I turn my back on you so you can see
just what you have done to me
2 AM and the door is cracked open
a body lies withing, a frail image spotted in the darkness
worn from hunger and nights of bleeding
crumbled on the floor this body is motionless
to weak to move to scared to try
a bottle of pills lies ajar on the floor
empty, used to take his pain away
his wrists are a mess
blood spilling all over the cool tile floor
curled up in a ball hidden in the corner he struggles to breath
so weak from all of this mess
his tears run down her cheek
he wimpers and shivers
shaking tired and scared
his sight starts to fade, he closess her eyes
his body relaxes a bit more and he slumps farther onto the floor
slowly his troubled breathing fades
slowly his troubles fade
taken away by this blade and these pills he took
his troubles seep away now and he is fine
walking down the path to what awaits beyond
he smiles for the first time in ages
happily knowing that for him there will be no tomorrow
relapse
stop look at me and listen
cause ill tell you about this addiction
razorblades and bloody lines
Im pain and the word it defines
time in and time out I have no doubt
that this pain is screaming to be let out
carve it into my arm and hope that you will see
all this pain and all these tears, yes my love this is me
all this time Ive hidden in shame
gripping this knife with which I mame
crying alone making up all that I've shown
Knowing this pain is mine and my own
I took all of this into me and now it shows
know it seems that everyone knows
so I try to stop, try to heal
but I cant even seem to feel
I hold on fot the sake of trying
but all along I knew that I was lieing
so relapse and Im back in my whole
back to darkness, like a mole