My heart is not your doormat
You know its all been said and done, the hell that has occured from this rag tag relationship. The comedy of errors and blind ideals is down the tubes but now you think you can trash me rep with others and tell them not to talk to me? Guess what I'm busting the doors on your lies.
http://img82.imageshack.us/my.php?image=liarspartone6sf.jpg
http://img82.imageshack.us/my.php?image=liarsparttwo3fk.jpg
First off I've been very busy yet devoted to this relationship. She posts this right after I went to friend's for the weekend. I got on as much as I could to talk to her yet she still demanded more and more.
I was suddenly constantly in trouble. I tried to help and she smashed me like no body's business. And this was after she told me she'd been nearly raped. Yeah, not something most people lie about. And don't tell others? Hrrmmmm :/
Here was the first hints.
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Session Start: Friday, September 16, 2005 |
| Participants: |
| Kouichi Kimura (Homunculus_Envy12@hotmail.com) |
| .......now all we can do is live... (ltrizahawkeye@hotmail.com) |
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
[02:33:26 PM] Kouichi Kimu auto-message: Hey, mom got on the comp so
if you tried to contact me please let me know so I can
get back to you.
[02:33:36 PM] Kouichi Kimu: 8poke*
[02:34:01 PM] What's gone : o.o
[02:34:13 PM] Kouichi Kimu: It says your online now ^^
[02:34:22 PM] What's gone : uh huh
[02:36:46 PM] Kouichi Kimu: It makes me happy since I can im you this
time ^^
[02:37:25 PM] What's gone : ^ ^;
[02:38:06 PM] Kouichi Kimu: How are you feeling today?
[02:39:05 PM] What's gone : ...
[02:39:07 PM] What's gone : weird..
[02:39:24 PM] What's gone : i'm talking to my.....my ex
[02:39:52 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ....are you okay?
[02:40:02 PM] What's gone : mhm
[02:40:10 PM] What's gone : she's not sayinga nything bad just
[02:40:12 PM] What's gone : well
[02:40:14 PM] What's gone : before I met you
[02:40:17 PM] What's gone : I was going out with her
[02:40:26 PM] What's gone : but...she moved across canada and well
[02:40:34 PM] What's gone : she has been gone for about three months
[02:40:53 PM] What's gone : she was afraid it would happen...but its
sadly how I am....if I don't get communication....I lose
interest
[02:40:59 PM] What's gone : then I met you
[02:42:30 PM] Kouichi Kimu: I don't know what to say. *hugs*
[02:42:31 PM] What's gone : she just came back
[02:42:35 PM] What's gone : so...yeah...been a little weird talking to
her
[02:42:41 PM] What's gone : its not like we hate each other or
anything
[02:42:46 PM] What's gone : its just....kinda awkward
[02:43:09 PM] Kouichi Kimu: I'd imagine so I've been avoiding my own
ex but that's because he was verbally abusive
[02:44:16 PM] What's gone : yeah well not talking to my ex for months
is weird
[02:44:32 PM] What's gone : its cause she moved I almost forgot about
her since we couldn't communicate in anyway
[02:46:11 PM] Kouichi Kimu: Yeah that does tend to make people forget
about one another.
[02:46:44 PM] What's gone : so I kind of feel awful leaving her..
[02:46:56 PM] What's gone : I hate hurting people..
[02:47:50 PM] Kouichi Kimu: I hate hurting people too. *hugs8 And I
just don't know what to say to make you feel better.
[02:48:10 PM] What's gone : its ok
[02:51:05 PM] Kouichi Kimu: Alright but I'm here if you need me.
[02:52:49 PM] What's gone : mhm
[02:52:49 PM] What's gone : thank you
[02:53:12 PM] Kouichi Kimu: No problem *hugs*
[02:57:30 PM] What's gone : is difficult talking to her
[02:59:00 PM] Kouichi Kimu: *hugs*
[03:00:03 PM] What's gone : ...
[03:00:08 PM] What's gone : ....I feel so awful
[03:01:03 PM] What's gone : i can tell I really hurt her...
[03:01:42 PM] Kouichi Kimu: *hugs* I'm sorry, Riza. I'm at a loss for
what to say.
[03:01:59 PM] What's gone : i know
[03:02:05 PM] What's gone : I'm in tears and I'm trying to hide it
from my mom
[03:05:51 PM] Kouichi Kimu: *hugs*
[03:06:35 PM] What's gone : ..~sighs~
[03:08:20 PM] Kouichi Kimu: I wish I could be there for you right now.
I feel so helpless.
[03:09:00 PM] What's gone : its ok..
[03:09:18 PM] What's gone : i just feel so awful right now I don't
know what to do
[03:09:46 PM] Kouichi Kimu: I don't know either.
[03:20:36 PM] What's gone : sorry for not talking
[03:20:52 PM] Kouichi Kimu: Its okay I just want to make sure you're
okay.
[03:21:27 PM] What's gone : I'm feeling better
[03:22:58 PM] Kouichi Kimu: I'm glad you're feeling better. 8hugs*
[03:23:25 PM] What's gone : thanks
[03:25:45 PM] Kouichi Kimu: No problem *hugs*
[03:26:27 PM] What's gone : ..><
[03:26:31 PM] What's gone : I freaking hate myself..
[03:28:14 PM] Kouichi Kimu: You shouldn't hate yourself. We can only
move forward, we can't change the past as much as
sometimes we wish we could. *sighs heavily and sets her
head in her hands* And I personally hate that statement
but that just might be me.
[03:28:48 PM] What's gone : its ok
[03:37:42 PM] What's gone : sorry for not talking...
[03:38:20 PM] Kouichi Kimu: Its okay brb
[03:38:29 PM] What's gone : ...ok..
[03:58:27 PM] What's gone : kou..
[03:58:35 PM] What's gone : i can't stop crying kou..
[03:58:40 PM] Kouichi Kimu: back sister stole the comp from me
[03:58:46 PM] Kouichi Kimu: *hugs*
[04:00:21 PM] What's gone : i feel so stupid...
[04:00:24 PM] What's gone : i feel so pathetic..
[04:00:27 PM] What's gone : and I can barely see the screen..
[04:00:38 PM] Kouichi Kimu: You're not stupid nor pathetic.
[04:01:23 PM] Kouichi Kimu: *hugs tightly*
[04:02:40 PM] What's gone : i can't stop crying
[04:03:09 PM] Kouichi Kimu: I know, *hugs* But its best to let out
pain than hold it in.
[04:12:51 PM] What's gone : my head hurts..
[04:13:38 PM] Kouichi Kimu: *hugs and pets her hair*
[04:15:08 PM] What's gone : u.u
[04:21:14 PM] What's gone : ....~clings~
[04:21:14 PM] What's gone : I feel better now
[04:22:00 PM] Kouichi Kimu: *clings back*
[04:22:44 PM] What's gone : ^ ^
[04:24:08 PM] Kouichi Kimu: *huggles* Gods I was on an emotional low
this morning when I wrote Envy's response to Al in
Lita's rp. he's so self destructive. *blinks and shakes
her head*
[04:24:22 PM] What's gone : i'm sorry ; ;
[04:25:02 PM] Kouichi Kimu: No its okay *huggles* a friend of my mom's
died today and she woke me up to talk to me about it.
Then after she left I sat down and responded to the rp.
[04:26:10 PM] Kouichi Kimu: So forgive how depressive and very
emotional envy got.
[04:26:20 PM] What's gone : I see..
[04:27:17 PM] Kouichi Kimu: But then in that situation I think he
would have flipped out like that.
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Session Start: Saturday, September 17, 2005 |
| Participants: |
| Kouichi Kimura (Homunculus_Envy12@hotmail.com) |
| .......now all we can do is live... (ltrizahawkeye@hotmail.com) |
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
[09:06:47 PM] What's gone : ( gomenasai....but...I'll be right
back....)
[09:11:54 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((Alright you okay?))
[09:17:10 PM] What's gone : ( back....and yes..I'm ok )
[09:17:16 PM] * What's gone is forever lost....now all we can do is
live... is now Online
[09:17:18 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((8huggles*))
[09:17:22 PM] What's gone : ( .. )
[09:17:37 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((Riza? What's the matter? ))
[09:17:52 PM] What's gone : ( just a little depress you could say...
)
[09:18:11 PM] Kouichi Kimu: (( *hugs* You want to talk about it? ))
[09:18:24 PM] What's gone : ( I guess..but I'm warning you...I'm sure
it will sound silly and stupid... )
[09:19:06 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((I won't judge you Riza, I just want to
help you))
[09:19:35 PM] What's gone : ( I know...but there really isn't anything
anyone could do... )
[09:19:59 PM] What's gone : ( ~sighs~ ....I enter an art contest...and
I didn't even make it in one of the categories...)
[09:20:19 PM] Kouichi Kimu: (( that's okay I never do either))
[09:20:31 PM] What's gone : ( .... )
[09:21:35 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((Its not silly or stupid Riza. 8hugs* ))
[09:22:02 PM] What's gone : ( ....i guess... )
[09:23:15 PM] Not all participants can view handwriting, so your
messages will be sent as text
[09:24:44 PM] Kouichi Kimu: Got it back *hugs* ))
[09:25:40 PM] What's gone : ( ok... )
[09:28:05 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((*hugs*))
[09:28:14 PM] What's gone : ( ..... )
[09:30:39 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((I wish I could help you somehow. *hugs
tightly*))
[09:32:51 PM] What's gone : ( I know...but its ok...really... )
[09:35:31 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((alright but I'm here for you))
[09:35:43 PM] What's gone : ( ...ok.... )
[09:38:13 PM] What's gone : ( ....now I'm hating julia for some weird
reason.....which I know somewhere in my head I shouldn't
be... )
[09:40:20 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((*hugs* Its okay Riza. I understand how
you feel somewhat. i'm not going to be arrogant and say
i know exactly how you feel only that i have a general
idea. )))
[09:40:48 PM] What's gone : ( ~sigh~ god my head feels so blank )
[09:42:43 PM] Kouichi Kimu: (( Its okay))
[09:43:09 PM] What's gone : ( I think I'm feeling better... )
[09:44:11 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((*huggles*))
[09:47:13 PM] What's gone : ( ^ ^ I feel better )
[09:47:19 PM] What's gone : ( my eyes feel funny though .__. )
[09:48:11 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((*huggles* Maybe you should wash your
eyes? ))
[09:49:41 PM] What's gone : ( nah its cause I was in tears eariler..
)
[09:50:11 PM] Kouichi Kimu: (( Awww *huggles*))
Proof I fucking was nice during this relationship. And that she trash talks her friends.
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Session Start: Monday, January 30, 2006 |
| Participants: |
| Envy (Homunculus_Envy12@hotmail.com) |
| Edo Bean (ltrizahawkeye@hotmail.com) |
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
[07:13:33 PM] Envy: (brb mom needs comp )
[07:13:39 PM] Edo Bean: ( aww ok ; ; )
[08:10:54 PM] Edo Bean: ( ok Julia and Meko are pushing me to say
this....so here goes.......
Kou....I love you so much, I really do. But I
noticed....that from time to time....you aren't there
much.....I know you are so busy with everything that
goes on...and I know sometimes I'm not there too, what
with my job....But....from the times we barely
speak....I feel like it's drifting us apart....and I
desperately don't want that to happen, I love you too
much.....Even if you're gone for a day I feel like
crying endlessly.......I just want you to understand
that....and I still wish for our relationship to
stay.....I love you so much Kou.... )
[08:14:27 PM] Envy: ((My love I'm back but I don't want us to drift
apart either. You make me feel complete and whole.
You're the most wonderful person I've ever met with a
heart so pure and innocent its like you're a living
breathing angel. I miss you terribly when you're not
around, its like part of me is missing till you show up.
My precious beloved Faith I love you with every fiber of
my heart and soul. ))
[08:16:16 PM] Edo Bean: ( Kou....I don't want anything bad to happen
between us...I'm just so scared...because...I'm such an
idiot....I'm the kind of person who gets drifted when
I'm not having the communication I want....I feel so
stupid and selfish right now....I wanna cry... )
[08:18:39 PM] Envy: ((You're not selfish or stupid my dear. Not at
all. I understand completely, we get vulnerable and
frightened sometimes when a relationship seems to be
slipping from us. That's understandable, but I'm right
here and I'm not going anywhere I'm just busy with
college classes right now Usually a lull in work will
happen soon and we'll get to spend loads of time
together. ))
[08:21:21 PM] Edo Bean: ( ok....i'm sorry for saying this all of a
sudden...it's just been through my mind so much....and
I've been crying so much...heck I'm crying right now as
we speak...... )
[08:22:23 PM] Envy: ((Its perfectly alright, *hugs* I'm here for you
now and always love. Don't ever be afraid to speak with
me about something. I'll listen every single time. ))
[08:27:19 PM] Edo Bean: ( alright...I'm sorry... )
[08:28:15 PM] Envy: ((Theres no need to be sorry love, its perfectly
valid questions you've asked. No question is a bad one
at all. *hugs and nuzzles* ))
[08:29:55 PM] Edo Bean: ( -blushes- ok....I still feel bad..... )
[08:32:41 PM] Envy: ((*nuzzles and holds her close* No need too my
love...))
[08:39:38 PM] Edo Bean: ( ; ; )
I'm not cold hearted or vicious see that?
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Session Start: Tuesday, January 31, 2006 |
| Participants: |
| Envy (Homunculus_Envy12@hotmail.com) |
| ...AT DOESNT SHOW UP IN YOUR EYES!? (ltrizahawkeye@hotmail.com) |
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
[04:10:14 PM] Edward Elric: ( -hides under blanket- I Suck!! )
[04:10:19 PM] Envy: ((Do not.))
[04:10:23 PM] Edward Elric: ( DO SO )
[04:10:33 PM] Envy: ((Nope till infinity))
[04:10:37 PM] Edward Elric: ( NOOOO >< )
[04:10:44 PM] Edward Elric: ( SEE YOUR EVEN SMARTER THAN ME )
[04:10:46 PM] Edward Elric: ( I'm DUMB )
[04:10:51 PM] Envy: ((You are not. ))
[04:10:59 PM] Edward Elric: ( you prove it though >< )
[04:11:04 PM] Edward Elric: ( -stays under blankets- )
[04:11:14 PM] Envy: ((No I don't I'm just more used to arguing. ))
[04:11:23 PM] Edward Elric: ( >< NUUU )
[04:11:27 PM] Edward Elric: ( Kou = Smart )
[04:11:30 PM] Edward Elric: ( Me = Dumb )
[04:11:36 PM] Envy: ((Not true))
[04:11:40 PM] Edward Elric: ( yes it is.. )
[04:11:47 PM] Edward Elric: ( you have never EVER said anything dumb
)
[04:11:50 PM] Envy: ((Noppers))
[04:11:56 PM] Edward Elric: ( while I have probably a billion times >
< )
[04:11:57 PM] Envy: ((I have
[04:12:01 PM] Edward Elric: ( NO you haven't )
[04:12:06 PM] Envy: ((Yes I have))
[04:12:15 PM] Edward Elric: ( NO YOU HAVEN'T )
[04:12:16 PM] Envy: ((I've done a list of stupid things as well))
[04:12:22 PM] Edward Elric: ( NO NO NO )
[04:13:45 PM] Envy: ((Putting a hamper over my head to go out into the
rain to unlock a car to get an umbrella, stuck my finger
in a hole when i was younger and got it stuck, I've said
some stupids things trust me you might not be around to
hear it but I have. You and I are balanced people ))
[04:14:23 PM] Edward Elric: ( well...name one stupid thing you have
done to me )
[04:15:00 PM] Envy: (( For five minutes I forgot where my keyboard was
when i was replying to you once. ))
[04:15:22 PM] Edward Elric: ( > < )
[04:15:29 PM] Edward Elric: ( -sighs- )
[04:15:33 PM] Edward Elric: ( fine.. )
[04:15:51 PM] Envy: (( Hon *hugs* you're not dumb trust me I've met
dumb people you're far from dumb. ))
[04:16:04 PM] Edward Elric: ( but i feel so dumb....compared to
you.... )
[04:16:33 PM] Envy: ((You don't need to love, I've just been around a
bit longer. ))
[04:18:12 PM] Edward Elric: ( ..... )
[04:19:18 PM] Envy: ((*hugs* I'm sorry that was stupid thing to
say.... *sighs* ))
[04:20:14 PM] Envy: (( But you're not a dumb person, my dear. Not at
all. ))
[04:20:19 PM] Edward Elric: ( ....... )
[04:21:50 PM] Envy: ( .....I'm sorry I've upset you love.... )
[04:22:14 PM] Edward Elric: ( iie...you haven't upset me... )
[04:22:54 PM] Edward Elric: ( i'm just being stupid.....about all of
this... )
[04:23:08 PM] Edward Elric: ( -sighs- .... )
[04:23:27 PM] Envy: (( *hugs* No you're just worried love. And that's
understandable. ))
[04:24:21 PM] Edward Elric: ( ..... )
[04:24:50 PM] Edward Elric: ( I'll....be right back... )
[04:25:40 PM] Envy: ((Ok))
[04:27:54 PM] Edward Elric: ( .....back... )
[04:28:09 PM] Envy: ((Welcome back love.))
[04:28:27 PM] Edward Elric: ( thanks... )
[04:28:40 PM] Envy: ((Not a problem love. ))
[04:29:13 PM] Edward Elric: ( ....so.. )
[04:29:36 PM] Envy: (( ....So?.... ))
[04:29:55 PM] Edward Elric: ( we were going to do something....but I
forgot... )
[04:30:28 PM] Envy: ((I think rp.... ))
[04:31:36 PM] Edward Elric: ( right... )
[04:31:43 PM] Edward Elric: ( let me...get the last rp... )
[04:32:29 PM] Envy: ((Certainly... ))
Fighting over me helping her? What the hell?
I broke up with her and she uggghhh here's that convo
| Session Start: Friday, April 07, 2006 |
| Participants: |
| ...ll show the sinner beneath." (Homunculus_Envy12@hotmail.com) |
| ~..::Faith::..~ (ltrizahawkeye@hotmail.com) |
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
[12:44:44 AM] ~..::Faith::: hiya
[12:44:52 AM] Wolf /Envy -: welcome back
[12:44:57 AM] ~..::Faith::: ^ ^- thanks
[12:51:05 AM] ~..::Faith::: how have you been while I was gone?
[12:52:45 AM] * ~..::Faith::..~ is now Offline
[12:52:46 AM] * ~..::Faith::..~ is now Online
[12:53:09 AM] Wolf /Envy -: I've been okay just doing what I sually
do.
[12:53:13 AM] Wolf /Envy -: *usually*
[12:55:49 AM] ~..::Faith::: thats good
[12:57:31 AM] ~..::Faith::: cute dp
[12:57:37 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Thanks
[12:58:05 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Its from icon100 a series of hakkai themed
icons.
[12:58:11 AM] ~..::Faith::: Ooooo
[12:58:19 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Don't have the link though.
[12:58:21 AM] ~..::Faith::: Hakkai is soo hot -^ ^-
[12:58:28 AM] ~..::Faith::: But so is Sanzo -drool-
[01:04:50 AM] Wolf /Envy -: True.
[01:05:40 AM] ~..::Faith::: ._.
[01:05:51 AM] ~..::Faith::: hey I have a question....
[01:05:55 AM] ~..::Faith::: it...may sound stupid but...
[01:06:17 AM] ~..::Faith::: .......are you talking to me....well.....I
don't know if the word is 'truthfully'....but its the
only word I can come up with
[01:06:37 AM] Wolf /Envy -: I've always been honest with you. Why do
you ask?
[01:07:05 AM] ~..::Faith::: I don't know....it just....the way you
talk is...weird....or maybe its just me
[01:07:18 AM] ~..::Faith::: it just doesn't seem....uh....whats the
word..
[01:07:33 AM] ~..::Faith::: like...uhh....I know before you would say
something else about Sanzo...than just...true ._.
[01:07:57 AM] ~..::Faith::: ugh I feel stupid now >.<
[01:08:10 AM] Wolf /Envy -: I don't always answer with a sentence if
you recall.
[01:08:20 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Sometimes like now I just feel lax
[01:08:23 AM] ~..::Faith::: yeah!
[01:08:29 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Then my answers become short
[01:08:34 AM] ~..::Faith::: Thats the phrase I was going for
[01:08:38 AM] ~..::Faith::: ; - ;
[01:08:39 AM] ~..::Faith::: I miss that
[01:08:41 AM] ~..::Faith::: ^ ^;;
[01:08:48 AM] ~..::Faith::: you always talk in long sentences
[01:08:57 AM] ~..::Faith::: I guess it just...didn't feel right when
everything was so....short ._.
[01:09:12 AM] ~..::Faith::: >< i probably sound annoying already
[01:09:28 AM] Wolf /Envy -: No
[01:09:49 AM] Wolf /Envy -: But like I said I'm just lax right now.
[01:09:54 AM] ~..::Faith::: ok
[01:09:57 AM] Wolf /Envy -: I can't throw out long setences all the
time.
[01:10:03 AM] ~..::Faith::: I know I know
[01:10:04 AM] Wolf /Envy -: *sentences*
[01:10:08 AM] ~..::Faith::: it just wanted to make sure nothing was
wrong or anything
[01:10:19 AM] ~..::Faith::: .__. I'm always the worried one
[01:11:25 AM] Wolf /Envy -: No we both worried about one another.
[01:11:34 AM] ~..::Faith::: ^ ^;
[01:11:40 AM] ~..::Faith::: I guess thats how we are huh?
[01:11:46 AM] ~..::Faith::: bunch of sillys -giggles
[01:11:58 AM] Wolf /Envy -: no its just how people are naturally.
[01:12:11 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Its when people worry over something and
fixate on it that the problem arises.
[01:12:30 AM] ~..::Faith::: ._.
[01:12:31 AM] ~..::Faith::: yeah
[01:12:37 AM] ~..::Faith::: like how I was before....
[01:12:45 AM] ~..::Faith::: always worried about you
[01:12:59 AM] ~..::Faith::: but I realized....I shouldn't worry so
much
[01:13:06 AM] ~..::Faith::: cause....I know you can take care of
yourself
[01:13:11 AM] ~..::Faith::: its not like you're a child or anything
[01:13:19 AM] ~..::Faith::: you're an adult
[01:13:54 AM] ~..::Faith::: so I shouldn't worry so much when you have
to go for a while
[01:14:06 AM] ~..::Faith::: cause I know...you'll come back -smiles-
[01:14:31 AM] Wolf /Envy -: true plus its not healthy to worry
constantly over something it eats away at the mind and
body.
[01:14:37 AM] ~..::Faith::: exactly
[01:14:39 AM] ~..::Faith::: I mean
[01:14:41 AM] ~..::Faith::: before I would cry
[01:14:48 AM] ~..::Faith::: for two whole days I haven't cried yet
[01:14:49 AM] ~..::Faith::: today
[01:15:01 AM] ~..::Faith::: cause usually if anyone says anything
hurtful I like cry instantly
[01:15:09 AM] ~..::Faith::: but today when an angry customer was
talking to me on the phone
[01:15:12 AM] ~..::Faith::: I didn't cry one bit
[01:15:38 AM] ~..::Faith::: i know sometimes crying heals but right
now I don't need to
[01:15:44 AM] ~..::Faith::: I don't need to waste my tears
[01:15:59 AM] ~..::Faith::: on things so ridiculous especially that
from the mind playing tricks
[01:16:10 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Never the less see that counselor or
you'll just wind up in the same boat with someone else.
[01:16:20 AM] ~..::Faith::: someone else o.o?
[01:17:29 AM] Wolf /Envy -: I told you when I said I let you go it was
for good. I'm not one to change my mind when its for
someone else's benefit even when it puts me out of the
picture.
[01:17:42 AM] ~..::Faith::: but...you still love me...right?
[01:18:10 AM] ~..::Faith::: because Sarah I don't want to be with
anyone else....but you
[01:18:26 AM] Wolf /Envy -: That maybe so but I let you go. I broke
that source of dependance to help you heal.
[01:18:36 AM] ~..::Faith::: I understand that Sarah
[01:18:39 AM] Wolf /Envy -: I'm not going back on it no matter how
badly it hurts.
[01:18:46 AM] ~..::Faith::: so even if I heal
[01:18:49 AM] ~..::Faith::: you won't come back?
[01:19:03 AM] Wolf /Envy -: We'll cross that bridge when we come to
it
[01:19:19 AM] Wolf /Envy -: it takes months and sometimes years for
improvement of the mind to stick
[01:19:25 AM] ~..::Faith::: I know
[01:19:28 AM] ~..::Faith::: but truly
[01:19:32 AM] ~..::Faith::: I don't want to leave you
[01:19:35 AM] ~..::Faith::: not in the dependable way
[01:19:38 AM] ~..::Faith::: but I love you Sarah
[01:19:54 AM] ~..::Faith::: and I know I'll get better soon
[01:19:56 AM] ~..::Faith::: because
[01:19:59 AM] ~..::Faith::: I was being selfish
[01:20:19 AM] ~..::Faith::: and I know I shouldn't have got mad or
depressed at you at times
[01:20:28 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Like I said we'll cross that bridge when
we come to it not before
[01:20:40 AM] ~..::Faith::: I know
[01:20:43 AM] ~..::Faith::: it just worries me
[01:20:46 AM] ~..::Faith::: because I really love you
[01:20:50 AM] ~..::Faith::: and I feel like
[01:20:52 AM] ~..::Faith::: your just...ignoring it
[01:20:57 AM] ~..::Faith::: I know we aren't together
[01:21:05 AM] ~..::Faith::: but I still think love comes in this part
of healing me
[01:21:18 AM] ~..::Faith::: its not in a way of depending on others
[01:22:38 AM] Wolf /Envy -: I'm not ignoring it. I never have. I've
been faithful all this time and honest with you. I won't
stop now. I told you about my life and trust you. But
this dependance is a hait you'll fall right back into
unitl you get help for the damage done ove rthe years.
[01:22:52 AM] ~..::Faith::: I know but
[01:22:55 AM] ~..::Faith::: I just feel like this isn't right
[01:23:12 AM] ~..::Faith::: I mean....if it were the other way around
[01:23:16 AM] ~..::Faith::: I would never hurt you like that
[01:23:56 AM] Wolf /Envy -: So you would not love me enough to let me
go if the relationship was killing me as it had been
killing you?
[01:24:05 AM] ~..::Faith::: its not like that Sarah
[01:24:07 AM] ~..::Faith::: I mean
[01:24:09 AM] ~..::Faith::: I would want to support you
[01:24:32 AM] ~..::Faith::: I love you so much Sarah...
[01:24:50 AM] ~..::Faith::: like you said you're not ignoring it
[01:25:45 AM] Wolf /Envy -: But if that support was what was holding
me back you'd not put an end to it? what we hd was
unhealthy and destroying you. That love won't change as
time passes long enough for you to get help and heal the
damage.
[01:25:46 AM] ~..::Faith::: but from talking to you...its been pretty
hurtful cause I feel like....I can't be my true self in
front of you
[01:25:58 AM] ~..::Faith::: I see what you mean
[01:26:07 AM] ~..::Faith::: i would do something about it Sarah
[01:26:12 AM] ~..::Faith::: I'm not saying I wouldn't DO anything
[01:26:37 AM] ~..::Faith::: but I guess I can understand what you mean
now by it
[01:27:22 AM] ~..::Faith::: and I am getting help...
[01:27:27 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Good then you understand why I let you go
and why you have to heal.While clinging to something
that was unhealthy you would never heal just get sicker.
[01:27:34 AM] ~..::Faith::: i'm getting help from my mom and my
family
[01:27:37 AM] ~..::Faith::: i'm not clinging anymore Sarah
[01:27:56 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Getting help isn't getting help until a
professional sees you. Family is support.
[01:28:23 AM] ~..::Faith::: ok
[01:28:27 AM] ~..::Faith::: i'm sorry
[01:28:55 AM] ~..::Faith::: but like I said....I feel like I can't be
truthful when I'm talking to you
[01:29:07 AM] ~..::Faith::: i love you Sarah
[01:29:18 AM] ~..::Faith::: and i wish you could say the same to me
[01:30:00 AM] ~..::Faith::: I just don't want you to leave me when the
time comes
[01:30:06 AM] ~..::Faith::: because well
[01:30:10 AM] ~..::Faith::: you're everything to me
[01:31:05 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Like I said before. Help comes first. For
the moment what I feel doesn't matter.
[01:31:17 AM] ~..::Faith::: what you feel doesn't matter?
[01:31:28 AM] ~..::Faith::: please don't say that
[01:31:33 AM] ~..::Faith::: cause what you feel matters to me most
[01:32:33 AM] ~..::Faith::: well I'll be seeing that counselor pretty
soon
[01:32:40 AM] ~..::Faith::: but I assure you I'm getting better
[01:32:54 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Getting better takes more than a day or
so.
[01:32:54 AM] ~..::Faith::: I"ve already did things that I'm sure a
counselor would tell me to do
[01:32:59 AM] ~..::Faith::: I understand that Sarah
[01:33:14 AM] ~..::Faith::: it took a month for my mother to recover
[01:33:26 AM] ~..::Faith::: but I'm strong too
[01:33:33 AM] ~..::Faith::: even if it doesn't seem so
[01:35:01 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Your mother is most likely still
recovering a simple month is called progress. It takes a
lot of time to recover you're only taking the first
step.
[01:35:11 AM] ~..::Faith::: I know
[01:35:17 AM] ~..::Faith::: my mother is so much better off though
[01:35:19 AM] ~..::Faith::: cause truly
[01:35:21 AM] ~..::Faith::: she is strong
[01:35:28 AM] ~..::Faith::: cause she believes in God
[01:35:29 AM] ~..::Faith::: and...
[01:35:36 AM] ~..::Faith::: I'm believing in God too
[01:35:41 AM] ~..::Faith::: I pray now
[01:35:50 AM] ~..::Faith::: and it feels really great
[01:36:20 AM] ~..::Faith::: and I've been praying to God for more than
two weeks now
[01:36:38 AM] ~..::Faith::: its been great
[01:39:04 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Religion only takes one so far
professional help is needed to make any true head way.
Becaus eif the issues making things as they are aren't
dealt with the tiger doesn't change its stripes.
[01:39:21 AM] ~..::Faith::: thats true
[01:39:28 AM] ~..::Faith::: but I'll see the counselor
[01:39:30 AM] ~..::Faith::: and I'll recover
[01:39:41 AM] ~..::Faith::: I promise myself that
[01:39:50 AM] ~..::Faith::: and I'm not depressed anymore
[01:39:57 AM] ~..::Faith::: Sarah
[01:40:09 AM] ~..::Faith::: is there...
[01:40:15 AM] ~..::Faith::: one thing I can do...
[01:40:24 AM] ~..::Faith::: before any of us has to sign off
[01:40:47 AM] ~..::Faith::: please don't hate me for what I'm gonna
do
[01:40:56 AM] Wolf /Envy -: and that is?
[01:41:01 AM] ~..::Faith::: -kiss-
[01:41:12 AM] Wolf /Envy -: *pushes away* We can't do that anymore
[01:41:18 AM] Wolf /Envy -: i told you i let you go.
[01:41:28 AM] ~..::Faith::: i know
[01:41:32 AM] ~..::Faith::: I know
[01:41:36 AM] ~..::Faith::: but Ihad to
[01:41:48 AM] ~..::Faith::: please understand
[01:42:13 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Its not something that's allowed anymore.
[01:42:24 AM] ~..::Faith::: so I can't show my feelings for you?
[01:42:34 AM] ~..::Faith::: so I can't...be myself?
[01:43:17 AM] Wolf /Envy -: You were yourself this morning. Affection
is not just actions but words. I told you its not
allowed sorry but that's how it is.
[01:44:07 AM] ~..::Faith::: ok
[01:44:12 AM] ~..::Faith::: I'm sorry Sarah
[01:44:34 AM] * ~..::Faith::..~ is now Offline
[01:45:44 AM] * ~..::Faith::..~ is now Online
Well the convo after it but she blocked me for a whole week then comes back claiming she's out of her depression and all this shit.
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Session Start: Monday, April 24, 2006 |
| Participants: |
| ...ife and death in her hands." (Homunculus_Envy12@hotmail.com) |
| ...ng so simple...We'll go together (ltrizahawkeye@hotmail.com) |
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
[04:49:37 PM] Faithu- Some: ...Sarah? is that you?
[04:54:13 PM] Faithu- Some: ...Sarah?
[04:54:30 PM] Shira Kagets: Who else would it be.
[04:54:42 PM] Faithu- Some: well it was your sister last time
-sweatdrops-
[04:54:50 PM] Faithu- Some: well then again she was on aim...not msn
[04:55:08 PM] Faithu- Some: its nice to see you again -smiles-
[04:55:47 PM] * Shira Kagetsu- "A woman with a weapon is a beautiful
thing, for she holds life and death in her hands." has
changed his/her personal message to Unchained this wolf
will rip this world to shreds,
[05:01:10 PM] Faithu- Some: um....Sarah....can I ask you something..?
[05:01:40 PM] Faithu- Some: are you..mad at me?
[05:03:02 PM] Shira Kagets: Mad? That's putting it mildly. You demnad
I go on for your needs when I've been trying to get by
with life. I saw your profile about a short time back.
Thank you so damn much for saying I've never done enough
for you. We both made sacrifices, not just you.
[05:03:18 PM] Faithu- Some: I know and I realized that
[05:03:24 PM] Faithu- Some: I'm an idiot to say such things
[05:03:30 PM] Faithu- Some: I understand if you hate me Kou
[05:03:39 PM] Faithu- Some: and I understand for your childhood
friends to do the same
[05:04:03 PM] Shira Kagets: Don't put words in my mouth or theirs.
[05:04:17 PM] Faithu- Some: ...yes..
[05:04:20 PM] Shira Kagets: Hate is something I reserve for one people
I'm disappointed in you.
[05:04:24 PM] Shira Kagets: *person*
[05:04:30 PM] Faithu- Some: I'm sorry I disappointed you
[05:04:35 PM] Shira Kagets: I thought you were better than that guess
I was worng.
[05:04:38 PM] Faithu- Some: ....
[05:04:39 PM] Shira Kagets: *wrong*
[05:04:45 PM] Faithu- Some: Sarah...
[05:05:11 PM] Faithu- Some: I'm trying my best to get better....I've
been seeing my professional Sylvia
[05:05:18 PM] Faithu- Some: she's very nice...
[05:05:26 PM] Faithu- Some: I'm learning to go out more
[05:05:29 PM] Faithu- Some: and its slightly getting better
[05:05:35 PM] Faithu- Some: I'm so sorry for writing on your profile
[05:05:39 PM] Faithu- Some: I know it wasn't right of me to do so
[05:05:46 PM] Shira Kagets: No it wasn't.
[05:05:49 PM] Faithu- Some: I know
[05:05:52 PM] Faithu- Some: and you can delete them
[05:05:53 PM] Faithu- Some: I understand
[05:06:02 PM] Shira Kagets: Wank is something I will not put up with
but I will not delete it.
[05:06:08 PM] Shira Kagets: It happened.
[05:06:09 PM] Faithu- Some: ok
[05:06:10 PM] Shira Kagets: Its there.
[05:06:15 PM] Faithu- Some: understandable
[05:06:22 PM] Faithu- Some: i'm also...going to respect you more
[05:06:41 PM] Faithu- Some: you are a very busy person and i'm sorry
for getting sad or mad from you not being here
[05:07:05 PM] Faithu- Some: I learned so much from talking to others
[05:07:10 PM] Faithu- Some: I burdened you so much
[05:07:14 PM] Faithu- Some: that I was blinded by it
[05:07:32 PM] Faithu- Some: but....I still want to talk to you
[05:07:36 PM] Faithu- Some: ...even if its only as friends...
[05:07:54 PM] Faithu- Some: I was assuming again before...
[05:07:58 PM] Faithu- Some: and I shouldn't have
[05:07:59 PM] Faithu- Some: you have a life
[05:08:16 PM] Faithu- Some: and I'm glad you do
[05:08:23 PM] Faithu- Some: you do so much for yourself and your
family
[05:09:00 PM] Shira Kagets: And I'm not giving it up. Blood comes
first before everything.
[05:09:04 PM] Faithu- Some: thats why I...idol you
[05:09:08 PM] Faithu- Some: you are so strong
[05:09:16 PM] Faithu- Some: you are very tough in going through
things
[05:09:20 PM] Faithu- Some: and I know I will be too
[05:09:28 PM] Faithu- Some: there are lot of friends who tell me I am
strong
[05:09:34 PM] Faithu- Some: and I believe that too
[05:09:39 PM] Faithu- Some: I'm being more confident in myself
[05:09:47 PM] Shira Kagets: Do what you wish.
[05:09:51 PM] Faithu- Some: mhmm
[05:09:58 PM] Faithu- Some: though
[05:10:09 PM] Faithu- Some: I just want you to know...
[05:10:15 PM] Faithu- Some: I don't want you to ignore me even if you
haven't
[05:10:28 PM] Faithu- Some: I understand leaving me from that week I
wanted to avoid you
[05:10:30 PM] Faithu- Some: but we are friends
[05:10:41 PM] Faithu- Some: we shouldn't push each other away...
[05:11:41 PM] Shira Kagets: I'll do what I desire to do. If I feel
like not talking I'll say so and expect my wishes be
cared out. Its called respect if I don't desire to talk
I shouldn't have to.
[05:12:01 PM] Faithu- Some: understandable
[05:12:10 PM] Faithu- Some: just let me know ok? ^ ^
[05:12:17 PM] Faithu- Some: I still want to be great friends with you
[05:12:21 PM] Faithu- Some: cause I know you're a great person
[05:12:56 PM] Faithu- Some: in a way...I want to start over
[05:13:14 PM] Faithu- Some: i know it sounds a
little..well...funny...but I want to start over between
you and me
[05:13:16 PM] Faithu- Some: just as friends
[05:14:16 PM] Shira Kagets: You can't wipe the slate clean too much
has occured. People get up and walk on, just shoving
everything off the desk is disrepectful to what was.
Time is not something that can be washed away.
[05:15:25 PM] Faithu- Some: I understand that but what I mean is..
[05:15:34 PM] Faithu- Some: ugh how to explain this...
[05:15:44 PM] Faithu- Some: I know what happened in the past can never
be change....
[05:15:56 PM] Shira Kagets: Forgetting it won't help things either.
[05:15:59 PM] Faithu- Some: well of course
[05:16:06 PM] Faithu- Some: i'm not saying I'm forgetting
[05:16:14 PM] Faithu- Some: its...ugh I'm not so very great at saying
things
[05:16:19 PM] Faithu- Some: I just want to start as friends again
[05:17:22 PM] Faithu- Some: ^ ^ ok
[05:18:35 PM] Shira Kagets: We can still be friends by just moving on,
turning back in the book does nothing. Events are not
something should be repeated ever. Its foolish to cast
everything aside and act like nothing happened before
this moment. If you murdered someone and then said it
never happened the murder is still there you're just
denying it.
[05:18:56 PM] Faithu- Some: are you assuming that I want to forget?
[05:19:06 PM] Faithu- Some: because thats not what I'm saying
[05:19:17 PM] Faithu- Some: I understand what you are saying but its
not what I'm doing
[05:19:22 PM] Shira Kagets: Then word it the way you're trying to say
it.
[05:19:26 PM] Faithu- Some: all I'm saying is I want to be good
friends with you again
[05:19:53 PM] Faithu- Some: because we aren't lovers anymore
[05:19:57 PM] Faithu- Some: so we're friends...right?
[05:20:10 PM] Shira Kagets: Then you didn't need the start over part,
you could have just said that and I'd have said it was
fine.
Bear with me I'm ticked off here this is just letting all this off my chest. But you want to act like nothing happened?
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Session Start: Tuesday, April 25, 2006 |
| Participants: |
| ...n the hands of the wielder." (Homunculus_Envy12@hotmail.com) |
| ...ng so simple...We'll go together (ltrizahawkeye@hotmail.com) |
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
[06:38:51 PM] Assassin! Ed: welcome back
[06:39:17 PM] Faithu- Some: ^ ^ thank you
[06:41:45 PM] Faithu- Some: I'm squeaky clean ^ ^
[12:13:43 AM] Faithu- Some: Theres a new song .o.
[12:13:54 AM] Faithu- Some: Paku Romi (Edward) singing Tobira no Mukou
E
[12:13:55 AM] Faithu- Some: <333
[12:20:30 AM] Faithu- Some: -tries to sing it- I sound like Al trying
to sing an Ed song ><
[01:59:06 AM] Faithu- Some: ano isn't it late for you? o.o
[02:00:02 AM] Assassin! Ed: not yet
[02:00:13 AM] Faithu- Some: oh
[02:00:19 AM] Faithu- Some: ._. ok
[02:00:27 AM] Assassin! Ed: besides Ed is helping me with my homework.
[02:00:32 AM] Faithu- Some: Ed...
[02:00:38 AM] Faithu- Some: you mean Full metal Edward Elric?
[02:00:53 AM] Assassin! Ed: Who's name in real life is ed yes
[02:00:57 AM] Faithu- Some: ahh
[02:01:02 AM] Faithu- Some: ..he still hates me...huh?
[02:01:54 AM] Assassin! Ed: Just because he told you what he did
doesn't mean he hates you. He was just saying what he
saw. I have no control over him nor do I wish to.
[02:02:21 AM] Faithu- Some: I know...
[02:02:33 AM] Faithu- Some: I just....felt very bad...
[02:02:57 AM] Faithu- Some: I told him my apology...but I even think
he believes it...
[02:03:40 AM] Faithu- Some: don't*
[02:03:43 AM] Assassin! Ed: Once again I'm not his keeper. He does as
he pleases.
[02:03:46 AM] Faithu- Some: >< ugh can't even type
[02:03:49 AM] Faithu- Some: yeah...
[02:04:02 AM] Faithu- Some: I know he doesn't want to talk to me....
[02:04:05 AM] Faithu- Some: at least he told me
[02:04:20 AM] Faithu- Some: once again I'm sorry for making your
friend mad at me...
[02:07:50 AM] Assassin! Ed: Ed is a busy man who decides what he
decides. Pushing him the dumbest thing to do. But if you
truly wish to confront him do so. That arguement had
nothing to do with me as I see it. Yes it was about it
but I wasn't part of it. anything in reguards to him
should be taken up with him.
[02:08:30 AM] Faithu- Some: I tried though....I told him I wanted to
talk to him and apology fully to him....
[02:08:56 AM] Faithu- Some: but his response....pretty much meant to
me that.....he didn't want to waste his time with
someone as stupid as me....
[02:10:53 AM] Assassin! Ed: I can't change his mind. He told me you
added him to your messenger list so since you pushed the
subject he added you back. If you truly wish to say what
you wanted to say to him the connection is open. Whether
he listens or tells you what he thinks I can not
control.
[02:11:11 AM] Faithu- Some: mhmm
[02:11:58 AM] Faithu- Some: does he have a messenger...?
[02:12:21 AM] Faithu- Some: or should I pm him...?
[02:12:47 AM] Assassin! Ed: you added his msn that I know of.
[02:13:40 AM] Faithu- Some: oh..the yaoi edward elric 12 right?
[02:14:08 AM] Faithu- Some: I guess I didn't realize it...especially
when his Gaian didn't say his msn..
[02:14:23 AM] Assassin! Ed: It used to. He pulled it off a couple of
days agao
[02:14:29 AM] Faithu- Some: ahh I see..
[02:14:56 AM] Faithu- Some: i'll try to speak with him
[02:14:59 AM] Assassin! Ed: k
[02:24:06 AM] Faithu- Some: tomorrow I'm seeing my professional again
[02:24:12 AM] Faithu- Some: she's a very nice person
[02:24:36 AM] Assassin! Ed: k
[02:24:48 AM] Faithu- Some: heh so short with words
[02:24:53 AM] Faithu- Some: -giggles-
[02:24:57 AM] Faithu- Some: but I know your busy
[02:32:08 AM] Faithu- Some: ' I don't trust you. I really don't I'm
putting that out right now. I don't like you either. She
cries even once more and we'll have words. I've let you
say your piece I've been that fair. No since I have
class in the afternoon and work in the morning I'm going
to bed. '
[02:32:12 AM] Faithu- Some: thats what he said....
[02:32:14 AM] Faithu- Some: ....
[02:32:46 AM] Faithu- Some: and now i'm crying....
[02:33:57 AM] Faithu- Some: and I'm trying not to cry so
much....because I know it only makes me weaker.....
[02:34:02 AM] Faithu- Some: ....but I feel so bad....
[02:34:04 AM] Faithu- Some: I really do....
[02:34:05 AM] Faithu- Some: ...
[02:35:12 AM] Assassin! Ed: Can't control him, he is who he is. I'm
not going to justify him nor say anything against him. I
told you, you could say what you wanted to say, but he
told you what he sees. Ed's a blunt man, and not very
trusting. That's just him.
[02:35:33 AM] Faithu- Some: i know...
[02:35:45 AM] Faithu- Some: and I'm trying to think so...big of it you
could say...
[02:35:48 AM] Faithu- Some: but it still hurts...
[02:36:06 AM] Faithu- Some: I hate when I do such stupid things...
[02:36:16 AM] Faithu- Some: cause then it makes everything worse...
[02:36:30 AM] Faithu- Some: it ruins everything....
[02:37:01 AM] Faithu- Some: but I'm trying to be positive....to be
strong
[02:37:31 AM] Assassin! Ed: Then do so its hard but just be positive.
[02:37:40 AM] Faithu- Some: I will
[02:37:48 AM] Faithu- Some: I know there are those who hate me for
what I do...
[02:37:53 AM] Faithu- Some: but I'm really trying
[02:38:35 AM] Faithu- Some: its hard when you start a rocky start...
[02:39:31 AM] Assassin! Ed: Its not hate just lack of trust on his
part as well as dislike. Like I said he told you what he
sees and thinks.
[02:39:41 AM] Faithu- Some: mhmm
[02:40:04 AM] Faithu- Some: though...what do I do next...?
[02:40:28 AM] Faithu- Some: he doesn't seem the type who will truly
let me talk to him...
[02:40:38 AM] Faithu- Some: i can't...gain his trust...cause I know it
doesn't work that way....
[02:42:58 AM] Assassin! Ed: Then just leave him be. Bugging Ed pisses
him off he works on a system of honor he'll listen once
then if he doesn't feel like listening again he won't.
[02:43:16 AM] Faithu- Some: ok...
[02:43:31 AM] Faithu- Some: Kou...
[02:43:44 AM] Faithu- Some: I know I'm seeing a professional and
trying to get as much help as I can
[02:44:09 AM] Faithu- Some: do you believe I can make it? I know no
one truly recovers....but do you think I will get
better?
[02:44:53 AM] Assassin! Ed: Only you can decide that. The will is the
most important thing to recovery.
[02:45:14 AM] Faithu- Some: I want to get better
[02:45:23 AM] Faithu- Some: so I believe I will
[02:47:03 AM] Faithu- Some: I'm going to have to talk about you in my
appointment with my therapist at some point...
[02:47:26 AM] Faithu- Some: is there anything you want me to ask her?
[02:48:43 AM] Assassin! Ed: no
[02:48:48 AM] Faithu- Some: ok
[02:49:19 AM] Faithu- Some: its nice to talk to you again...heh..I
feel like I say that a lot....
[02:50:53 AM] Faithu- Some: i stopped crying...-smiles-
[02:51:05 AM] Faithu- Some: i'm getting better at stopping myself than
I did before
[02:52:29 AM] Faithu- Some: I was wondering...because Edward told me
about how you.....well...
[02:52:40 AM] Faithu- Some: ....cried...
[02:53:03 AM] Faithu- Some: I wanted to apologize to you again...
[02:53:20 AM] Faithu- Some: I guess I still feel like my apologies are
never enough for you....but really....
[02:53:29 AM] Faithu- Some: I never realized I made you...you
know....
[02:53:50 AM] Faithu- Some: i'm sorry..
[02:54:08 AM] Faithu- Some: and if you don't believe me or forgive
me...its understandable
[02:54:47 AM] Assassin! Ed: It happened, there was a lot that
happened. I'll be right back
[02:55:28 AM] Faithu- Some: ok..
[03:49:34 AM] Faithu- Some: ._.
[03:49:41 AM] Faithu- Some: stupid msn = = -kicks-
[03:49:54 AM] Faithu- Some: I had a question...its about a homework
assignment..
[03:50:25 AM] Faithu- Some: Writing Prompt- Write an application essay
in which you reflect on the significance of an important
experience or achievement that has special meaning to
you.
[03:50:56 AM] Faithu- Some: Purpose- To present information about
yourself that would encourage a college to admit you
Audience- Members of a college admissions committee
[03:51:56 AM] Faithu- Some: So all I'm doing is just talking about
myself but presenting me in a positive way...right?
[03:52:13 AM] Assassin! Ed: Pretty much
[03:52:24 AM] Faithu- Some: an achievement...
[03:52:32 AM] Assassin! Ed: hey I'm off to bed its way late for me and
i have driving practice in the morning.
[03:52:48 AM] Faithu- Some: ahh ok ^ ^
[03:52:50 AM] Faithu- Some: thank you for the help
[03:52:53 AM] Faithu- Some: I just wasn't sure myself ><
[03:52:59 AM] Faithu- Some: my brain can never understand things ^ ^;
Once again fishing for sympathy after I warned her to not to bother him unless she really wanted burned. Notice how she brings the topic back to her all the time? Funny that.
http://img82.imageshack.us/my.php?image=liarspartone6sf.jpg
http://img82.imageshack.us/my.php?image=liarsparttwo3fk.jpg
First off I've been very busy yet devoted to this relationship. She posts this right after I went to friend's for the weekend. I got on as much as I could to talk to her yet she still demanded more and more.
I was suddenly constantly in trouble. I tried to help and she smashed me like no body's business. And this was after she told me she'd been nearly raped. Yeah, not something most people lie about. And don't tell others? Hrrmmmm :/
Here was the first hints.
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Session Start: Friday, September 16, 2005 |
| Participants: |
| Kouichi Kimura (Homunculus_Envy12@hotmail.com) |
| .......now all we can do is live... (ltrizahawkeye@hotmail.com) |
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
[02:33:26 PM] Kouichi Kimu auto-message: Hey, mom got on the comp so
if you tried to contact me please let me know so I can
get back to you.
[02:33:36 PM] Kouichi Kimu: 8poke*
[02:34:01 PM] What's gone : o.o
[02:34:13 PM] Kouichi Kimu: It says your online now ^^
[02:34:22 PM] What's gone : uh huh
[02:36:46 PM] Kouichi Kimu: It makes me happy since I can im you this
time ^^
[02:37:25 PM] What's gone : ^ ^;
[02:38:06 PM] Kouichi Kimu: How are you feeling today?
[02:39:05 PM] What's gone : ...
[02:39:07 PM] What's gone : weird..
[02:39:24 PM] What's gone : i'm talking to my.....my ex
[02:39:52 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ....are you okay?
[02:40:02 PM] What's gone : mhm
[02:40:10 PM] What's gone : she's not sayinga nything bad just
[02:40:12 PM] What's gone : well
[02:40:14 PM] What's gone : before I met you
[02:40:17 PM] What's gone : I was going out with her
[02:40:26 PM] What's gone : but...she moved across canada and well
[02:40:34 PM] What's gone : she has been gone for about three months
[02:40:53 PM] What's gone : she was afraid it would happen...but its
sadly how I am....if I don't get communication....I lose
interest
[02:40:59 PM] What's gone : then I met you
[02:42:30 PM] Kouichi Kimu: I don't know what to say. *hugs*
[02:42:31 PM] What's gone : she just came back
[02:42:35 PM] What's gone : so...yeah...been a little weird talking to
her
[02:42:41 PM] What's gone : its not like we hate each other or
anything
[02:42:46 PM] What's gone : its just....kinda awkward
[02:43:09 PM] Kouichi Kimu: I'd imagine so I've been avoiding my own
ex but that's because he was verbally abusive
[02:44:16 PM] What's gone : yeah well not talking to my ex for months
is weird
[02:44:32 PM] What's gone : its cause she moved I almost forgot about
her since we couldn't communicate in anyway
[02:46:11 PM] Kouichi Kimu: Yeah that does tend to make people forget
about one another.
[02:46:44 PM] What's gone : so I kind of feel awful leaving her..
[02:46:56 PM] What's gone : I hate hurting people..
[02:47:50 PM] Kouichi Kimu: I hate hurting people too. *hugs8 And I
just don't know what to say to make you feel better.
[02:48:10 PM] What's gone : its ok
[02:51:05 PM] Kouichi Kimu: Alright but I'm here if you need me.
[02:52:49 PM] What's gone : mhm
[02:52:49 PM] What's gone : thank you
[02:53:12 PM] Kouichi Kimu: No problem *hugs*
[02:57:30 PM] What's gone : is difficult talking to her
[02:59:00 PM] Kouichi Kimu: *hugs*
[03:00:03 PM] What's gone : ...
[03:00:08 PM] What's gone : ....I feel so awful
[03:01:03 PM] What's gone : i can tell I really hurt her...
[03:01:42 PM] Kouichi Kimu: *hugs* I'm sorry, Riza. I'm at a loss for
what to say.
[03:01:59 PM] What's gone : i know
[03:02:05 PM] What's gone : I'm in tears and I'm trying to hide it
from my mom
[03:05:51 PM] Kouichi Kimu: *hugs*
[03:06:35 PM] What's gone : ..~sighs~
[03:08:20 PM] Kouichi Kimu: I wish I could be there for you right now.
I feel so helpless.
[03:09:00 PM] What's gone : its ok..
[03:09:18 PM] What's gone : i just feel so awful right now I don't
know what to do
[03:09:46 PM] Kouichi Kimu: I don't know either.
[03:20:36 PM] What's gone : sorry for not talking
[03:20:52 PM] Kouichi Kimu: Its okay I just want to make sure you're
okay.
[03:21:27 PM] What's gone : I'm feeling better
[03:22:58 PM] Kouichi Kimu: I'm glad you're feeling better. 8hugs*
[03:23:25 PM] What's gone : thanks
[03:25:45 PM] Kouichi Kimu: No problem *hugs*
[03:26:27 PM] What's gone : ..><
[03:26:31 PM] What's gone : I freaking hate myself..
[03:28:14 PM] Kouichi Kimu: You shouldn't hate yourself. We can only
move forward, we can't change the past as much as
sometimes we wish we could. *sighs heavily and sets her
head in her hands* And I personally hate that statement
but that just might be me.
[03:28:48 PM] What's gone : its ok
[03:37:42 PM] What's gone : sorry for not talking...
[03:38:20 PM] Kouichi Kimu: Its okay brb
[03:38:29 PM] What's gone : ...ok..
[03:58:27 PM] What's gone : kou..
[03:58:35 PM] What's gone : i can't stop crying kou..
[03:58:40 PM] Kouichi Kimu: back sister stole the comp from me
[03:58:46 PM] Kouichi Kimu: *hugs*
[04:00:21 PM] What's gone : i feel so stupid...
[04:00:24 PM] What's gone : i feel so pathetic..
[04:00:27 PM] What's gone : and I can barely see the screen..
[04:00:38 PM] Kouichi Kimu: You're not stupid nor pathetic.
[04:01:23 PM] Kouichi Kimu: *hugs tightly*
[04:02:40 PM] What's gone : i can't stop crying
[04:03:09 PM] Kouichi Kimu: I know, *hugs* But its best to let out
pain than hold it in.
[04:12:51 PM] What's gone : my head hurts..
[04:13:38 PM] Kouichi Kimu: *hugs and pets her hair*
[04:15:08 PM] What's gone : u.u
[04:21:14 PM] What's gone : ....~clings~
[04:21:14 PM] What's gone : I feel better now
[04:22:00 PM] Kouichi Kimu: *clings back*
[04:22:44 PM] What's gone : ^ ^
[04:24:08 PM] Kouichi Kimu: *huggles* Gods I was on an emotional low
this morning when I wrote Envy's response to Al in
Lita's rp. he's so self destructive. *blinks and shakes
her head*
[04:24:22 PM] What's gone : i'm sorry ; ;
[04:25:02 PM] Kouichi Kimu: No its okay *huggles* a friend of my mom's
died today and she woke me up to talk to me about it.
Then after she left I sat down and responded to the rp.
[04:26:10 PM] Kouichi Kimu: So forgive how depressive and very
emotional envy got.
[04:26:20 PM] What's gone : I see..
[04:27:17 PM] Kouichi Kimu: But then in that situation I think he
would have flipped out like that.
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Session Start: Saturday, September 17, 2005 |
| Participants: |
| Kouichi Kimura (Homunculus_Envy12@hotmail.com) |
| .......now all we can do is live... (ltrizahawkeye@hotmail.com) |
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
[09:06:47 PM] What's gone : ( gomenasai....but...I'll be right
back....)
[09:11:54 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((Alright you okay?))
[09:17:10 PM] What's gone : ( back....and yes..I'm ok )
[09:17:16 PM] * What's gone is forever lost....now all we can do is
live... is now Online
[09:17:18 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((8huggles*))
[09:17:22 PM] What's gone : ( .. )
[09:17:37 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((Riza? What's the matter? ))
[09:17:52 PM] What's gone : ( just a little depress you could say...
)
[09:18:11 PM] Kouichi Kimu: (( *hugs* You want to talk about it? ))
[09:18:24 PM] What's gone : ( I guess..but I'm warning you...I'm sure
it will sound silly and stupid... )
[09:19:06 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((I won't judge you Riza, I just want to
help you))
[09:19:35 PM] What's gone : ( I know...but there really isn't anything
anyone could do... )
[09:19:59 PM] What's gone : ( ~sighs~ ....I enter an art contest...and
I didn't even make it in one of the categories...)
[09:20:19 PM] Kouichi Kimu: (( that's okay I never do either))
[09:20:31 PM] What's gone : ( .... )
[09:21:35 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((Its not silly or stupid Riza. 8hugs* ))
[09:22:02 PM] What's gone : ( ....i guess... )
[09:23:15 PM] Not all participants can view handwriting, so your
messages will be sent as text
[09:24:44 PM] Kouichi Kimu: Got it back *hugs* ))
[09:25:40 PM] What's gone : ( ok... )
[09:28:05 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((*hugs*))
[09:28:14 PM] What's gone : ( ..... )
[09:30:39 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((I wish I could help you somehow. *hugs
tightly*))
[09:32:51 PM] What's gone : ( I know...but its ok...really... )
[09:35:31 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((alright but I'm here for you))
[09:35:43 PM] What's gone : ( ...ok.... )
[09:38:13 PM] What's gone : ( ....now I'm hating julia for some weird
reason.....which I know somewhere in my head I shouldn't
be... )
[09:40:20 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((*hugs* Its okay Riza. I understand how
you feel somewhat. i'm not going to be arrogant and say
i know exactly how you feel only that i have a general
idea. )))
[09:40:48 PM] What's gone : ( ~sigh~ god my head feels so blank )
[09:42:43 PM] Kouichi Kimu: (( Its okay))
[09:43:09 PM] What's gone : ( I think I'm feeling better... )
[09:44:11 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((*huggles*))
[09:47:13 PM] What's gone : ( ^ ^ I feel better )
[09:47:19 PM] What's gone : ( my eyes feel funny though .__. )
[09:48:11 PM] Kouichi Kimu: ((*huggles* Maybe you should wash your
eyes? ))
[09:49:41 PM] What's gone : ( nah its cause I was in tears eariler..
)
[09:50:11 PM] Kouichi Kimu: (( Awww *huggles*))
Proof I fucking was nice during this relationship. And that she trash talks her friends.
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Session Start: Monday, January 30, 2006 |
| Participants: |
| Envy (Homunculus_Envy12@hotmail.com) |
| Edo Bean (ltrizahawkeye@hotmail.com) |
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
[07:13:33 PM] Envy: (brb mom needs comp )
[07:13:39 PM] Edo Bean: ( aww ok ; ; )
[08:10:54 PM] Edo Bean: ( ok Julia and Meko are pushing me to say
this....so here goes.......
Kou....I love you so much, I really do. But I
noticed....that from time to time....you aren't there
much.....I know you are so busy with everything that
goes on...and I know sometimes I'm not there too, what
with my job....But....from the times we barely
speak....I feel like it's drifting us apart....and I
desperately don't want that to happen, I love you too
much.....Even if you're gone for a day I feel like
crying endlessly.......I just want you to understand
that....and I still wish for our relationship to
stay.....I love you so much Kou.... )
[08:14:27 PM] Envy: ((My love I'm back but I don't want us to drift
apart either. You make me feel complete and whole.
You're the most wonderful person I've ever met with a
heart so pure and innocent its like you're a living
breathing angel. I miss you terribly when you're not
around, its like part of me is missing till you show up.
My precious beloved Faith I love you with every fiber of
my heart and soul. ))
[08:16:16 PM] Edo Bean: ( Kou....I don't want anything bad to happen
between us...I'm just so scared...because...I'm such an
idiot....I'm the kind of person who gets drifted when
I'm not having the communication I want....I feel so
stupid and selfish right now....I wanna cry... )
[08:18:39 PM] Envy: ((You're not selfish or stupid my dear. Not at
all. I understand completely, we get vulnerable and
frightened sometimes when a relationship seems to be
slipping from us. That's understandable, but I'm right
here and I'm not going anywhere I'm just busy with
college classes right now Usually a lull in work will
happen soon and we'll get to spend loads of time
together. ))
[08:21:21 PM] Edo Bean: ( ok....i'm sorry for saying this all of a
sudden...it's just been through my mind so much....and
I've been crying so much...heck I'm crying right now as
we speak...... )
[08:22:23 PM] Envy: ((Its perfectly alright, *hugs* I'm here for you
now and always love. Don't ever be afraid to speak with
me about something. I'll listen every single time. ))
[08:27:19 PM] Edo Bean: ( alright...I'm sorry... )
[08:28:15 PM] Envy: ((Theres no need to be sorry love, its perfectly
valid questions you've asked. No question is a bad one
at all. *hugs and nuzzles* ))
[08:29:55 PM] Edo Bean: ( -blushes- ok....I still feel bad..... )
[08:32:41 PM] Envy: ((*nuzzles and holds her close* No need too my
love...))
[08:39:38 PM] Edo Bean: ( ; ; )
I'm not cold hearted or vicious see that?
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Session Start: Tuesday, January 31, 2006 |
| Participants: |
| Envy (Homunculus_Envy12@hotmail.com) |
| ...AT DOESNT SHOW UP IN YOUR EYES!? (ltrizahawkeye@hotmail.com) |
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
[04:10:14 PM] Edward Elric: ( -hides under blanket- I Suck!! )
[04:10:19 PM] Envy: ((Do not.))
[04:10:23 PM] Edward Elric: ( DO SO )
[04:10:33 PM] Envy: ((Nope till infinity))
[04:10:37 PM] Edward Elric: ( NOOOO >< )
[04:10:44 PM] Edward Elric: ( SEE YOUR EVEN SMARTER THAN ME )
[04:10:46 PM] Edward Elric: ( I'm DUMB )
[04:10:51 PM] Envy: ((You are not. ))
[04:10:59 PM] Edward Elric: ( you prove it though >< )
[04:11:04 PM] Edward Elric: ( -stays under blankets- )
[04:11:14 PM] Envy: ((No I don't I'm just more used to arguing. ))
[04:11:23 PM] Edward Elric: ( >< NUUU )
[04:11:27 PM] Edward Elric: ( Kou = Smart )
[04:11:30 PM] Edward Elric: ( Me = Dumb )
[04:11:36 PM] Envy: ((Not true))
[04:11:40 PM] Edward Elric: ( yes it is.. )
[04:11:47 PM] Edward Elric: ( you have never EVER said anything dumb
)
[04:11:50 PM] Envy: ((Noppers))
[04:11:56 PM] Edward Elric: ( while I have probably a billion times >
< )
[04:11:57 PM] Envy: ((I have
[04:12:01 PM] Edward Elric: ( NO you haven't )
[04:12:06 PM] Envy: ((Yes I have))
[04:12:15 PM] Edward Elric: ( NO YOU HAVEN'T )
[04:12:16 PM] Envy: ((I've done a list of stupid things as well))
[04:12:22 PM] Edward Elric: ( NO NO NO )
[04:13:45 PM] Envy: ((Putting a hamper over my head to go out into the
rain to unlock a car to get an umbrella, stuck my finger
in a hole when i was younger and got it stuck, I've said
some stupids things trust me you might not be around to
hear it but I have. You and I are balanced people ))
[04:14:23 PM] Edward Elric: ( well...name one stupid thing you have
done to me )
[04:15:00 PM] Envy: (( For five minutes I forgot where my keyboard was
when i was replying to you once. ))
[04:15:22 PM] Edward Elric: ( > < )
[04:15:29 PM] Edward Elric: ( -sighs- )
[04:15:33 PM] Edward Elric: ( fine.. )
[04:15:51 PM] Envy: (( Hon *hugs* you're not dumb trust me I've met
dumb people you're far from dumb. ))
[04:16:04 PM] Edward Elric: ( but i feel so dumb....compared to
you.... )
[04:16:33 PM] Envy: ((You don't need to love, I've just been around a
bit longer. ))
[04:18:12 PM] Edward Elric: ( ..... )
[04:19:18 PM] Envy: ((*hugs* I'm sorry that was stupid thing to
say.... *sighs* ))
[04:20:14 PM] Envy: (( But you're not a dumb person, my dear. Not at
all. ))
[04:20:19 PM] Edward Elric: ( ....... )
[04:21:50 PM] Envy: ( .....I'm sorry I've upset you love.... )
[04:22:14 PM] Edward Elric: ( iie...you haven't upset me... )
[04:22:54 PM] Edward Elric: ( i'm just being stupid.....about all of
this... )
[04:23:08 PM] Edward Elric: ( -sighs- .... )
[04:23:27 PM] Envy: (( *hugs* No you're just worried love. And that's
understandable. ))
[04:24:21 PM] Edward Elric: ( ..... )
[04:24:50 PM] Edward Elric: ( I'll....be right back... )
[04:25:40 PM] Envy: ((Ok))
[04:27:54 PM] Edward Elric: ( .....back... )
[04:28:09 PM] Envy: ((Welcome back love.))
[04:28:27 PM] Edward Elric: ( thanks... )
[04:28:40 PM] Envy: ((Not a problem love. ))
[04:29:13 PM] Edward Elric: ( ....so.. )
[04:29:36 PM] Envy: (( ....So?.... ))
[04:29:55 PM] Edward Elric: ( we were going to do something....but I
forgot... )
[04:30:28 PM] Envy: ((I think rp.... ))
[04:31:36 PM] Edward Elric: ( right... )
[04:31:43 PM] Edward Elric: ( let me...get the last rp... )
[04:32:29 PM] Envy: ((Certainly... ))
Fighting over me helping her? What the hell?
I broke up with her and she uggghhh here's that convo
| Session Start: Friday, April 07, 2006 |
| Participants: |
| ...ll show the sinner beneath." (Homunculus_Envy12@hotmail.com) |
| ~..::Faith::..~ (ltrizahawkeye@hotmail.com) |
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
[12:44:44 AM] ~..::Faith::: hiya
[12:44:52 AM] Wolf /Envy -: welcome back
[12:44:57 AM] ~..::Faith::: ^ ^- thanks
[12:51:05 AM] ~..::Faith::: how have you been while I was gone?
[12:52:45 AM] * ~..::Faith::..~ is now Offline
[12:52:46 AM] * ~..::Faith::..~ is now Online
[12:53:09 AM] Wolf /Envy -: I've been okay just doing what I sually
do.
[12:53:13 AM] Wolf /Envy -: *usually*
[12:55:49 AM] ~..::Faith::: thats good
[12:57:31 AM] ~..::Faith::: cute dp
[12:57:37 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Thanks
[12:58:05 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Its from icon100 a series of hakkai themed
icons.
[12:58:11 AM] ~..::Faith::: Ooooo
[12:58:19 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Don't have the link though.
[12:58:21 AM] ~..::Faith::: Hakkai is soo hot -^ ^-
[12:58:28 AM] ~..::Faith::: But so is Sanzo -drool-
[01:04:50 AM] Wolf /Envy -: True.
[01:05:40 AM] ~..::Faith::: ._.
[01:05:51 AM] ~..::Faith::: hey I have a question....
[01:05:55 AM] ~..::Faith::: it...may sound stupid but...
[01:06:17 AM] ~..::Faith::: .......are you talking to me....well.....I
don't know if the word is 'truthfully'....but its the
only word I can come up with
[01:06:37 AM] Wolf /Envy -: I've always been honest with you. Why do
you ask?
[01:07:05 AM] ~..::Faith::: I don't know....it just....the way you
talk is...weird....or maybe its just me
[01:07:18 AM] ~..::Faith::: it just doesn't seem....uh....whats the
word..
[01:07:33 AM] ~..::Faith::: like...uhh....I know before you would say
something else about Sanzo...than just...true ._.
[01:07:57 AM] ~..::Faith::: ugh I feel stupid now >.<
[01:08:10 AM] Wolf /Envy -: I don't always answer with a sentence if
you recall.
[01:08:20 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Sometimes like now I just feel lax
[01:08:23 AM] ~..::Faith::: yeah!
[01:08:29 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Then my answers become short
[01:08:34 AM] ~..::Faith::: Thats the phrase I was going for
[01:08:38 AM] ~..::Faith::: ; - ;
[01:08:39 AM] ~..::Faith::: I miss that
[01:08:41 AM] ~..::Faith::: ^ ^;;
[01:08:48 AM] ~..::Faith::: you always talk in long sentences
[01:08:57 AM] ~..::Faith::: I guess it just...didn't feel right when
everything was so....short ._.
[01:09:12 AM] ~..::Faith::: >< i probably sound annoying already
[01:09:28 AM] Wolf /Envy -: No
[01:09:49 AM] Wolf /Envy -: But like I said I'm just lax right now.
[01:09:54 AM] ~..::Faith::: ok
[01:09:57 AM] Wolf /Envy -: I can't throw out long setences all the
time.
[01:10:03 AM] ~..::Faith::: I know I know
[01:10:04 AM] Wolf /Envy -: *sentences*
[01:10:08 AM] ~..::Faith::: it just wanted to make sure nothing was
wrong or anything
[01:10:19 AM] ~..::Faith::: .__. I'm always the worried one
[01:11:25 AM] Wolf /Envy -: No we both worried about one another.
[01:11:34 AM] ~..::Faith::: ^ ^;
[01:11:40 AM] ~..::Faith::: I guess thats how we are huh?
[01:11:46 AM] ~..::Faith::: bunch of sillys -giggles
[01:11:58 AM] Wolf /Envy -: no its just how people are naturally.
[01:12:11 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Its when people worry over something and
fixate on it that the problem arises.
[01:12:30 AM] ~..::Faith::: ._.
[01:12:31 AM] ~..::Faith::: yeah
[01:12:37 AM] ~..::Faith::: like how I was before....
[01:12:45 AM] ~..::Faith::: always worried about you
[01:12:59 AM] ~..::Faith::: but I realized....I shouldn't worry so
much
[01:13:06 AM] ~..::Faith::: cause....I know you can take care of
yourself
[01:13:11 AM] ~..::Faith::: its not like you're a child or anything
[01:13:19 AM] ~..::Faith::: you're an adult
[01:13:54 AM] ~..::Faith::: so I shouldn't worry so much when you have
to go for a while
[01:14:06 AM] ~..::Faith::: cause I know...you'll come back -smiles-
[01:14:31 AM] Wolf /Envy -: true plus its not healthy to worry
constantly over something it eats away at the mind and
body.
[01:14:37 AM] ~..::Faith::: exactly
[01:14:39 AM] ~..::Faith::: I mean
[01:14:41 AM] ~..::Faith::: before I would cry
[01:14:48 AM] ~..::Faith::: for two whole days I haven't cried yet
[01:14:49 AM] ~..::Faith::: today
[01:15:01 AM] ~..::Faith::: cause usually if anyone says anything
hurtful I like cry instantly
[01:15:09 AM] ~..::Faith::: but today when an angry customer was
talking to me on the phone
[01:15:12 AM] ~..::Faith::: I didn't cry one bit
[01:15:38 AM] ~..::Faith::: i know sometimes crying heals but right
now I don't need to
[01:15:44 AM] ~..::Faith::: I don't need to waste my tears
[01:15:59 AM] ~..::Faith::: on things so ridiculous especially that
from the mind playing tricks
[01:16:10 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Never the less see that counselor or
you'll just wind up in the same boat with someone else.
[01:16:20 AM] ~..::Faith::: someone else o.o?
[01:17:29 AM] Wolf /Envy -: I told you when I said I let you go it was
for good. I'm not one to change my mind when its for
someone else's benefit even when it puts me out of the
picture.
[01:17:42 AM] ~..::Faith::: but...you still love me...right?
[01:18:10 AM] ~..::Faith::: because Sarah I don't want to be with
anyone else....but you
[01:18:26 AM] Wolf /Envy -: That maybe so but I let you go. I broke
that source of dependance to help you heal.
[01:18:36 AM] ~..::Faith::: I understand that Sarah
[01:18:39 AM] Wolf /Envy -: I'm not going back on it no matter how
badly it hurts.
[01:18:46 AM] ~..::Faith::: so even if I heal
[01:18:49 AM] ~..::Faith::: you won't come back?
[01:19:03 AM] Wolf /Envy -: We'll cross that bridge when we come to
it
[01:19:19 AM] Wolf /Envy -: it takes months and sometimes years for
improvement of the mind to stick
[01:19:25 AM] ~..::Faith::: I know
[01:19:28 AM] ~..::Faith::: but truly
[01:19:32 AM] ~..::Faith::: I don't want to leave you
[01:19:35 AM] ~..::Faith::: not in the dependable way
[01:19:38 AM] ~..::Faith::: but I love you Sarah
[01:19:54 AM] ~..::Faith::: and I know I'll get better soon
[01:19:56 AM] ~..::Faith::: because
[01:19:59 AM] ~..::Faith::: I was being selfish
[01:20:19 AM] ~..::Faith::: and I know I shouldn't have got mad or
depressed at you at times
[01:20:28 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Like I said we'll cross that bridge when
we come to it not before
[01:20:40 AM] ~..::Faith::: I know
[01:20:43 AM] ~..::Faith::: it just worries me
[01:20:46 AM] ~..::Faith::: because I really love you
[01:20:50 AM] ~..::Faith::: and I feel like
[01:20:52 AM] ~..::Faith::: your just...ignoring it
[01:20:57 AM] ~..::Faith::: I know we aren't together
[01:21:05 AM] ~..::Faith::: but I still think love comes in this part
of healing me
[01:21:18 AM] ~..::Faith::: its not in a way of depending on others
[01:22:38 AM] Wolf /Envy -: I'm not ignoring it. I never have. I've
been faithful all this time and honest with you. I won't
stop now. I told you about my life and trust you. But
this dependance is a hait you'll fall right back into
unitl you get help for the damage done ove rthe years.
[01:22:52 AM] ~..::Faith::: I know but
[01:22:55 AM] ~..::Faith::: I just feel like this isn't right
[01:23:12 AM] ~..::Faith::: I mean....if it were the other way around
[01:23:16 AM] ~..::Faith::: I would never hurt you like that
[01:23:56 AM] Wolf /Envy -: So you would not love me enough to let me
go if the relationship was killing me as it had been
killing you?
[01:24:05 AM] ~..::Faith::: its not like that Sarah
[01:24:07 AM] ~..::Faith::: I mean
[01:24:09 AM] ~..::Faith::: I would want to support you
[01:24:32 AM] ~..::Faith::: I love you so much Sarah...
[01:24:50 AM] ~..::Faith::: like you said you're not ignoring it
[01:25:45 AM] Wolf /Envy -: But if that support was what was holding
me back you'd not put an end to it? what we hd was
unhealthy and destroying you. That love won't change as
time passes long enough for you to get help and heal the
damage.
[01:25:46 AM] ~..::Faith::: but from talking to you...its been pretty
hurtful cause I feel like....I can't be my true self in
front of you
[01:25:58 AM] ~..::Faith::: I see what you mean
[01:26:07 AM] ~..::Faith::: i would do something about it Sarah
[01:26:12 AM] ~..::Faith::: I'm not saying I wouldn't DO anything
[01:26:37 AM] ~..::Faith::: but I guess I can understand what you mean
now by it
[01:27:22 AM] ~..::Faith::: and I am getting help...
[01:27:27 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Good then you understand why I let you go
and why you have to heal.While clinging to something
that was unhealthy you would never heal just get sicker.
[01:27:34 AM] ~..::Faith::: i'm getting help from my mom and my
family
[01:27:37 AM] ~..::Faith::: i'm not clinging anymore Sarah
[01:27:56 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Getting help isn't getting help until a
professional sees you. Family is support.
[01:28:23 AM] ~..::Faith::: ok
[01:28:27 AM] ~..::Faith::: i'm sorry
[01:28:55 AM] ~..::Faith::: but like I said....I feel like I can't be
truthful when I'm talking to you
[01:29:07 AM] ~..::Faith::: i love you Sarah
[01:29:18 AM] ~..::Faith::: and i wish you could say the same to me
[01:30:00 AM] ~..::Faith::: I just don't want you to leave me when the
time comes
[01:30:06 AM] ~..::Faith::: because well
[01:30:10 AM] ~..::Faith::: you're everything to me
[01:31:05 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Like I said before. Help comes first. For
the moment what I feel doesn't matter.
[01:31:17 AM] ~..::Faith::: what you feel doesn't matter?
[01:31:28 AM] ~..::Faith::: please don't say that
[01:31:33 AM] ~..::Faith::: cause what you feel matters to me most
[01:32:33 AM] ~..::Faith::: well I'll be seeing that counselor pretty
soon
[01:32:40 AM] ~..::Faith::: but I assure you I'm getting better
[01:32:54 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Getting better takes more than a day or
so.
[01:32:54 AM] ~..::Faith::: I"ve already did things that I'm sure a
counselor would tell me to do
[01:32:59 AM] ~..::Faith::: I understand that Sarah
[01:33:14 AM] ~..::Faith::: it took a month for my mother to recover
[01:33:26 AM] ~..::Faith::: but I'm strong too
[01:33:33 AM] ~..::Faith::: even if it doesn't seem so
[01:35:01 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Your mother is most likely still
recovering a simple month is called progress. It takes a
lot of time to recover you're only taking the first
step.
[01:35:11 AM] ~..::Faith::: I know
[01:35:17 AM] ~..::Faith::: my mother is so much better off though
[01:35:19 AM] ~..::Faith::: cause truly
[01:35:21 AM] ~..::Faith::: she is strong
[01:35:28 AM] ~..::Faith::: cause she believes in God
[01:35:29 AM] ~..::Faith::: and...
[01:35:36 AM] ~..::Faith::: I'm believing in God too
[01:35:41 AM] ~..::Faith::: I pray now
[01:35:50 AM] ~..::Faith::: and it feels really great
[01:36:20 AM] ~..::Faith::: and I've been praying to God for more than
two weeks now
[01:36:38 AM] ~..::Faith::: its been great
[01:39:04 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Religion only takes one so far
professional help is needed to make any true head way.
Becaus eif the issues making things as they are aren't
dealt with the tiger doesn't change its stripes.
[01:39:21 AM] ~..::Faith::: thats true
[01:39:28 AM] ~..::Faith::: but I'll see the counselor
[01:39:30 AM] ~..::Faith::: and I'll recover
[01:39:41 AM] ~..::Faith::: I promise myself that
[01:39:50 AM] ~..::Faith::: and I'm not depressed anymore
[01:39:57 AM] ~..::Faith::: Sarah
[01:40:09 AM] ~..::Faith::: is there...
[01:40:15 AM] ~..::Faith::: one thing I can do...
[01:40:24 AM] ~..::Faith::: before any of us has to sign off
[01:40:47 AM] ~..::Faith::: please don't hate me for what I'm gonna
do
[01:40:56 AM] Wolf /Envy -: and that is?
[01:41:01 AM] ~..::Faith::: -kiss-
[01:41:12 AM] Wolf /Envy -: *pushes away* We can't do that anymore
[01:41:18 AM] Wolf /Envy -: i told you i let you go.
[01:41:28 AM] ~..::Faith::: i know
[01:41:32 AM] ~..::Faith::: I know
[01:41:36 AM] ~..::Faith::: but Ihad to
[01:41:48 AM] ~..::Faith::: please understand
[01:42:13 AM] Wolf /Envy -: Its not something that's allowed anymore.
[01:42:24 AM] ~..::Faith::: so I can't show my feelings for you?
[01:42:34 AM] ~..::Faith::: so I can't...be myself?
[01:43:17 AM] Wolf /Envy -: You were yourself this morning. Affection
is not just actions but words. I told you its not
allowed sorry but that's how it is.
[01:44:07 AM] ~..::Faith::: ok
[01:44:12 AM] ~..::Faith::: I'm sorry Sarah
[01:44:34 AM] * ~..::Faith::..~ is now Offline
[01:45:44 AM] * ~..::Faith::..~ is now Online
Well the convo after it but she blocked me for a whole week then comes back claiming she's out of her depression and all this shit.
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Session Start: Monday, April 24, 2006 |
| Participants: |
| ...ife and death in her hands." (Homunculus_Envy12@hotmail.com) |
| ...ng so simple...We'll go together (ltrizahawkeye@hotmail.com) |
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
[04:49:37 PM] Faithu- Some: ...Sarah? is that you?
[04:54:13 PM] Faithu- Some: ...Sarah?
[04:54:30 PM] Shira Kagets: Who else would it be.
[04:54:42 PM] Faithu- Some: well it was your sister last time
-sweatdrops-
[04:54:50 PM] Faithu- Some: well then again she was on aim...not msn
[04:55:08 PM] Faithu- Some: its nice to see you again -smiles-
[04:55:47 PM] * Shira Kagetsu- "A woman with a weapon is a beautiful
thing, for she holds life and death in her hands." has
changed his/her personal message to Unchained this wolf
will rip this world to shreds,
[05:01:10 PM] Faithu- Some: um....Sarah....can I ask you something..?
[05:01:40 PM] Faithu- Some: are you..mad at me?
[05:03:02 PM] Shira Kagets: Mad? That's putting it mildly. You demnad
I go on for your needs when I've been trying to get by
with life. I saw your profile about a short time back.
Thank you so damn much for saying I've never done enough
for you. We both made sacrifices, not just you.
[05:03:18 PM] Faithu- Some: I know and I realized that
[05:03:24 PM] Faithu- Some: I'm an idiot to say such things
[05:03:30 PM] Faithu- Some: I understand if you hate me Kou
[05:03:39 PM] Faithu- Some: and I understand for your childhood
friends to do the same
[05:04:03 PM] Shira Kagets: Don't put words in my mouth or theirs.
[05:04:17 PM] Faithu- Some: ...yes..
[05:04:20 PM] Shira Kagets: Hate is something I reserve for one people
I'm disappointed in you.
[05:04:24 PM] Shira Kagets: *person*
[05:04:30 PM] Faithu- Some: I'm sorry I disappointed you
[05:04:35 PM] Shira Kagets: I thought you were better than that guess
I was worng.
[05:04:38 PM] Faithu- Some: ....
[05:04:39 PM] Shira Kagets: *wrong*
[05:04:45 PM] Faithu- Some: Sarah...
[05:05:11 PM] Faithu- Some: I'm trying my best to get better....I've
been seeing my professional Sylvia
[05:05:18 PM] Faithu- Some: she's very nice...
[05:05:26 PM] Faithu- Some: I'm learning to go out more
[05:05:29 PM] Faithu- Some: and its slightly getting better
[05:05:35 PM] Faithu- Some: I'm so sorry for writing on your profile
[05:05:39 PM] Faithu- Some: I know it wasn't right of me to do so
[05:05:46 PM] Shira Kagets: No it wasn't.
[05:05:49 PM] Faithu- Some: I know
[05:05:52 PM] Faithu- Some: and you can delete them
[05:05:53 PM] Faithu- Some: I understand
[05:06:02 PM] Shira Kagets: Wank is something I will not put up with
but I will not delete it.
[05:06:08 PM] Shira Kagets: It happened.
[05:06:09 PM] Faithu- Some: ok
[05:06:10 PM] Shira Kagets: Its there.
[05:06:15 PM] Faithu- Some: understandable
[05:06:22 PM] Faithu- Some: i'm also...going to respect you more
[05:06:41 PM] Faithu- Some: you are a very busy person and i'm sorry
for getting sad or mad from you not being here
[05:07:05 PM] Faithu- Some: I learned so much from talking to others
[05:07:10 PM] Faithu- Some: I burdened you so much
[05:07:14 PM] Faithu- Some: that I was blinded by it
[05:07:32 PM] Faithu- Some: but....I still want to talk to you
[05:07:36 PM] Faithu- Some: ...even if its only as friends...
[05:07:54 PM] Faithu- Some: I was assuming again before...
[05:07:58 PM] Faithu- Some: and I shouldn't have
[05:07:59 PM] Faithu- Some: you have a life
[05:08:16 PM] Faithu- Some: and I'm glad you do
[05:08:23 PM] Faithu- Some: you do so much for yourself and your
family
[05:09:00 PM] Shira Kagets: And I'm not giving it up. Blood comes
first before everything.
[05:09:04 PM] Faithu- Some: thats why I...idol you
[05:09:08 PM] Faithu- Some: you are so strong
[05:09:16 PM] Faithu- Some: you are very tough in going through
things
[05:09:20 PM] Faithu- Some: and I know I will be too
[05:09:28 PM] Faithu- Some: there are lot of friends who tell me I am
strong
[05:09:34 PM] Faithu- Some: and I believe that too
[05:09:39 PM] Faithu- Some: I'm being more confident in myself
[05:09:47 PM] Shira Kagets: Do what you wish.
[05:09:51 PM] Faithu- Some: mhmm
[05:09:58 PM] Faithu- Some: though
[05:10:09 PM] Faithu- Some: I just want you to know...
[05:10:15 PM] Faithu- Some: I don't want you to ignore me even if you
haven't
[05:10:28 PM] Faithu- Some: I understand leaving me from that week I
wanted to avoid you
[05:10:30 PM] Faithu- Some: but we are friends
[05:10:41 PM] Faithu- Some: we shouldn't push each other away...
[05:11:41 PM] Shira Kagets: I'll do what I desire to do. If I feel
like not talking I'll say so and expect my wishes be
cared out. Its called respect if I don't desire to talk
I shouldn't have to.
[05:12:01 PM] Faithu- Some: understandable
[05:12:10 PM] Faithu- Some: just let me know ok? ^ ^
[05:12:17 PM] Faithu- Some: I still want to be great friends with you
[05:12:21 PM] Faithu- Some: cause I know you're a great person
[05:12:56 PM] Faithu- Some: in a way...I want to start over
[05:13:14 PM] Faithu- Some: i know it sounds a
little..well...funny...but I want to start over between
you and me
[05:13:16 PM] Faithu- Some: just as friends
[05:14:16 PM] Shira Kagets: You can't wipe the slate clean too much
has occured. People get up and walk on, just shoving
everything off the desk is disrepectful to what was.
Time is not something that can be washed away.
[05:15:25 PM] Faithu- Some: I understand that but what I mean is..
[05:15:34 PM] Faithu- Some: ugh how to explain this...
[05:15:44 PM] Faithu- Some: I know what happened in the past can never
be change....
[05:15:56 PM] Shira Kagets: Forgetting it won't help things either.
[05:15:59 PM] Faithu- Some: well of course
[05:16:06 PM] Faithu- Some: i'm not saying I'm forgetting
[05:16:14 PM] Faithu- Some: its...ugh I'm not so very great at saying
things
[05:16:19 PM] Faithu- Some: I just want to start as friends again
[05:17:22 PM] Faithu- Some: ^ ^ ok
[05:18:35 PM] Shira Kagets: We can still be friends by just moving on,
turning back in the book does nothing. Events are not
something should be repeated ever. Its foolish to cast
everything aside and act like nothing happened before
this moment. If you murdered someone and then said it
never happened the murder is still there you're just
denying it.
[05:18:56 PM] Faithu- Some: are you assuming that I want to forget?
[05:19:06 PM] Faithu- Some: because thats not what I'm saying
[05:19:17 PM] Faithu- Some: I understand what you are saying but its
not what I'm doing
[05:19:22 PM] Shira Kagets: Then word it the way you're trying to say
it.
[05:19:26 PM] Faithu- Some: all I'm saying is I want to be good
friends with you again
[05:19:53 PM] Faithu- Some: because we aren't lovers anymore
[05:19:57 PM] Faithu- Some: so we're friends...right?
[05:20:10 PM] Shira Kagets: Then you didn't need the start over part,
you could have just said that and I'd have said it was
fine.
Bear with me I'm ticked off here this is just letting all this off my chest. But you want to act like nothing happened?
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Session Start: Tuesday, April 25, 2006 |
| Participants: |
| ...n the hands of the wielder." (Homunculus_Envy12@hotmail.com) |
| ...ng so simple...We'll go together (ltrizahawkeye@hotmail.com) |
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
[06:38:51 PM] Assassin! Ed: welcome back
[06:39:17 PM] Faithu- Some: ^ ^ thank you
[06:41:45 PM] Faithu- Some: I'm squeaky clean ^ ^
[12:13:43 AM] Faithu- Some: Theres a new song .o.
[12:13:54 AM] Faithu- Some: Paku Romi (Edward) singing Tobira no Mukou
E
[12:13:55 AM] Faithu- Some: <333
[12:20:30 AM] Faithu- Some: -tries to sing it- I sound like Al trying
to sing an Ed song ><
[01:59:06 AM] Faithu- Some: ano isn't it late for you? o.o
[02:00:02 AM] Assassin! Ed: not yet
[02:00:13 AM] Faithu- Some: oh
[02:00:19 AM] Faithu- Some: ._. ok
[02:00:27 AM] Assassin! Ed: besides Ed is helping me with my homework.
[02:00:32 AM] Faithu- Some: Ed...
[02:00:38 AM] Faithu- Some: you mean Full metal Edward Elric?
[02:00:53 AM] Assassin! Ed: Who's name in real life is ed yes
[02:00:57 AM] Faithu- Some: ahh
[02:01:02 AM] Faithu- Some: ..he still hates me...huh?
[02:01:54 AM] Assassin! Ed: Just because he told you what he did
doesn't mean he hates you. He was just saying what he
saw. I have no control over him nor do I wish to.
[02:02:21 AM] Faithu- Some: I know...
[02:02:33 AM] Faithu- Some: I just....felt very bad...
[02:02:57 AM] Faithu- Some: I told him my apology...but I even think
he believes it...
[02:03:40 AM] Faithu- Some: don't*
[02:03:43 AM] Assassin! Ed: Once again I'm not his keeper. He does as
he pleases.
[02:03:46 AM] Faithu- Some: >< ugh can't even type
[02:03:49 AM] Faithu- Some: yeah...
[02:04:02 AM] Faithu- Some: I know he doesn't want to talk to me....
[02:04:05 AM] Faithu- Some: at least he told me
[02:04:20 AM] Faithu- Some: once again I'm sorry for making your
friend mad at me...
[02:07:50 AM] Assassin! Ed: Ed is a busy man who decides what he
decides. Pushing him the dumbest thing to do. But if you
truly wish to confront him do so. That arguement had
nothing to do with me as I see it. Yes it was about it
but I wasn't part of it. anything in reguards to him
should be taken up with him.
[02:08:30 AM] Faithu- Some: I tried though....I told him I wanted to
talk to him and apology fully to him....
[02:08:56 AM] Faithu- Some: but his response....pretty much meant to
me that.....he didn't want to waste his time with
someone as stupid as me....
[02:10:53 AM] Assassin! Ed: I can't change his mind. He told me you
added him to your messenger list so since you pushed the
subject he added you back. If you truly wish to say what
you wanted to say to him the connection is open. Whether
he listens or tells you what he thinks I can not
control.
[02:11:11 AM] Faithu- Some: mhmm
[02:11:58 AM] Faithu- Some: does he have a messenger...?
[02:12:21 AM] Faithu- Some: or should I pm him...?
[02:12:47 AM] Assassin! Ed: you added his msn that I know of.
[02:13:40 AM] Faithu- Some: oh..the yaoi edward elric 12 right?
[02:14:08 AM] Faithu- Some: I guess I didn't realize it...especially
when his Gaian didn't say his msn..
[02:14:23 AM] Assassin! Ed: It used to. He pulled it off a couple of
days agao
[02:14:29 AM] Faithu- Some: ahh I see..
[02:14:56 AM] Faithu- Some: i'll try to speak with him
[02:14:59 AM] Assassin! Ed: k
[02:24:06 AM] Faithu- Some: tomorrow I'm seeing my professional again
[02:24:12 AM] Faithu- Some: she's a very nice person
[02:24:36 AM] Assassin! Ed: k
[02:24:48 AM] Faithu- Some: heh so short with words
[02:24:53 AM] Faithu- Some: -giggles-
[02:24:57 AM] Faithu- Some: but I know your busy
[02:32:08 AM] Faithu- Some: ' I don't trust you. I really don't I'm
putting that out right now. I don't like you either. She
cries even once more and we'll have words. I've let you
say your piece I've been that fair. No since I have
class in the afternoon and work in the morning I'm going
to bed. '
[02:32:12 AM] Faithu- Some: thats what he said....
[02:32:14 AM] Faithu- Some: ....
[02:32:46 AM] Faithu- Some: and now i'm crying....
[02:33:57 AM] Faithu- Some: and I'm trying not to cry so
much....because I know it only makes me weaker.....
[02:34:02 AM] Faithu- Some: ....but I feel so bad....
[02:34:04 AM] Faithu- Some: I really do....
[02:34:05 AM] Faithu- Some: ...
[02:35:12 AM] Assassin! Ed: Can't control him, he is who he is. I'm
not going to justify him nor say anything against him. I
told you, you could say what you wanted to say, but he
told you what he sees. Ed's a blunt man, and not very
trusting. That's just him.
[02:35:33 AM] Faithu- Some: i know...
[02:35:45 AM] Faithu- Some: and I'm trying to think so...big of it you
could say...
[02:35:48 AM] Faithu- Some: but it still hurts...
[02:36:06 AM] Faithu- Some: I hate when I do such stupid things...
[02:36:16 AM] Faithu- Some: cause then it makes everything worse...
[02:36:30 AM] Faithu- Some: it ruins everything....
[02:37:01 AM] Faithu- Some: but I'm trying to be positive....to be
strong
[02:37:31 AM] Assassin! Ed: Then do so its hard but just be positive.
[02:37:40 AM] Faithu- Some: I will
[02:37:48 AM] Faithu- Some: I know there are those who hate me for
what I do...
[02:37:53 AM] Faithu- Some: but I'm really trying
[02:38:35 AM] Faithu- Some: its hard when you start a rocky start...
[02:39:31 AM] Assassin! Ed: Its not hate just lack of trust on his
part as well as dislike. Like I said he told you what he
sees and thinks.
[02:39:41 AM] Faithu- Some: mhmm
[02:40:04 AM] Faithu- Some: though...what do I do next...?
[02:40:28 AM] Faithu- Some: he doesn't seem the type who will truly
let me talk to him...
[02:40:38 AM] Faithu- Some: i can't...gain his trust...cause I know it
doesn't work that way....
[02:42:58 AM] Assassin! Ed: Then just leave him be. Bugging Ed pisses
him off he works on a system of honor he'll listen once
then if he doesn't feel like listening again he won't.
[02:43:16 AM] Faithu- Some: ok...
[02:43:31 AM] Faithu- Some: Kou...
[02:43:44 AM] Faithu- Some: I know I'm seeing a professional and
trying to get as much help as I can
[02:44:09 AM] Faithu- Some: do you believe I can make it? I know no
one truly recovers....but do you think I will get
better?
[02:44:53 AM] Assassin! Ed: Only you can decide that. The will is the
most important thing to recovery.
[02:45:14 AM] Faithu- Some: I want to get better
[02:45:23 AM] Faithu- Some: so I believe I will
[02:47:03 AM] Faithu- Some: I'm going to have to talk about you in my
appointment with my therapist at some point...
[02:47:26 AM] Faithu- Some: is there anything you want me to ask her?
[02:48:43 AM] Assassin! Ed: no
[02:48:48 AM] Faithu- Some: ok
[02:49:19 AM] Faithu- Some: its nice to talk to you again...heh..I
feel like I say that a lot....
[02:50:53 AM] Faithu- Some: i stopped crying...-smiles-
[02:51:05 AM] Faithu- Some: i'm getting better at stopping myself than
I did before
[02:52:29 AM] Faithu- Some: I was wondering...because Edward told me
about how you.....well...
[02:52:40 AM] Faithu- Some: ....cried...
[02:53:03 AM] Faithu- Some: I wanted to apologize to you again...
[02:53:20 AM] Faithu- Some: I guess I still feel like my apologies are
never enough for you....but really....
[02:53:29 AM] Faithu- Some: I never realized I made you...you
know....
[02:53:50 AM] Faithu- Some: i'm sorry..
[02:54:08 AM] Faithu- Some: and if you don't believe me or forgive
me...its understandable
[02:54:47 AM] Assassin! Ed: It happened, there was a lot that
happened. I'll be right back
[02:55:28 AM] Faithu- Some: ok..
[03:49:34 AM] Faithu- Some: ._.
[03:49:41 AM] Faithu- Some: stupid msn = = -kicks-
[03:49:54 AM] Faithu- Some: I had a question...its about a homework
assignment..
[03:50:25 AM] Faithu- Some: Writing Prompt- Write an application essay
in which you reflect on the significance of an important
experience or achievement that has special meaning to
you.
[03:50:56 AM] Faithu- Some: Purpose- To present information about
yourself that would encourage a college to admit you
Audience- Members of a college admissions committee
[03:51:56 AM] Faithu- Some: So all I'm doing is just talking about
myself but presenting me in a positive way...right?
[03:52:13 AM] Assassin! Ed: Pretty much
[03:52:24 AM] Faithu- Some: an achievement...
[03:52:32 AM] Assassin! Ed: hey I'm off to bed its way late for me and
i have driving practice in the morning.
[03:52:48 AM] Faithu- Some: ahh ok ^ ^
[03:52:50 AM] Faithu- Some: thank you for the help
[03:52:53 AM] Faithu- Some: I just wasn't sure myself ><
[03:52:59 AM] Faithu- Some: my brain can never understand things ^ ^;
Once again fishing for sympathy after I warned her to not to bother him unless she really wanted burned. Notice how she brings the topic back to her all the time? Funny that.