... She watched as Rachel turned an awful red colour. Reaching out to brush her fingers over Rachel's cheek, which made her flinch, Brittany frowned in worry. "Are you okay? You're really warm. You might have a fever or something."
"I'm fine." She couldn't stop the little shake in her voice. Brittany had given her the distinct impression that she had thought they were going to be making out. And that Brittany was okay with that. It wasn't easy making Rachel dumbfounded but somehow it had happened twice in one week.
"So like... we're taking a break now. Did you wanna go somewhere? Or we could stay here." Brittany shifted forward in her seat, her lean frame sneaking in a little closer to Rachel's jittery one.
"Uhhh... let's - let's go somewhere." Rachel was sure it was bad for her complexion to be that red for so long. She let out an odd, forced chuckle as she got up from her seat a little too quickly, knocking the chair over. While Rachel struggled, Brittany calmly picked up the chair as she got up and put her things away.
"There's that coffee place outside. I should probably have some if we're actually going to study."
"Hahahaha, yes, study."
By the time they made it to the cafe Rachel had calmed down considerably. Brittany was a weird girl so Rachel dismissed the weird conversation, deciding that they had simply misunderstood one another.
With their coffees and a biscuit for Rachel, they sat across from one another, Brittany watching traffic and Rachel marvelling at how relaxed the other girl was.
"So... how have you been?"
"Umm... not so good." Brittany turned to her coffee and stirred it lazily.
"What's wrong?" It felt weird talking to Brittany outside of Glee Club. They were normally on polar opposites of the social spectrum. But now, with Quinn's influence, Rachel was both outside of social circles and above them. Her status was elevated yet still separate.
"Well, I had a fight with Santana."
Rachel perked up immediately.
"What did Santana do?"
"She's pissed off that I didn't tell her you and Quinn were together before she slushied you."
"You - you knew about that? I mean... we're not exactly together..." Rachel gaped, shaking her head. "Well, why didn't you tell her?"
"Because... it's like... complicated. Basically, if she knew about you guys she would have done stuff to you but tried not to get caught. I don't like her without Quinn."
"Umm… what?" Rachel was beginning to wonder why she had ever thought she could have a coherent conversation with Brittany.
"You can't say anything to anyone." She waited for Rachel to nod. "Santana likes being a bitch. Likes it a lot."
"No kidding..." Rachel tried to joke, sobering up at Brittany's look.
"She's not really that bad a person; it's just really hard for her to like anyone. And she has, like, issues, about being in charge. She wants to be the one who controls stuff. But she's not cut out for it. She forgets herself. Becomes really mean. A lot more mean than she should. If I told her 'bout you and Quinn, she would have been sooooo mean."
"So... you were protecting me?"
At that Brittany laughed a little.
"You're okay, Rachel, but no. I did it to protect Santana."
"Santana? But she's always in trouble now isn't she?"
"Yeah..." Brittany's face fell. "Quinn had always been so good at keeping Santana like..."
"In check?"
"Yeah! I just needed Quinn to step up again. I figured if Santana pissed her off enough, Quinn would step in and take control again. I just... I didn't expect her to be so mad. You make Quinn forget herself. I think she's also been mad for so long that she's kinda going crazy."
"H - how bad? I mean I knew people were throwing slushies and calling her names..."
"I haven't been talking to her all that much lately since she's pissed but..." she trailed off, looking out the window. "She hasn't been in school for like three days now. I heard the basketball team beat her up and tossed her around in a Porta-Potty."
"Beat her up?!" She winced as everyone in the cafe looked in her direction. "They did not beat her up. You can't be serious." Her voice lowered.
"Yeah, I don't see them beating her up. I mean there was probably some fighting though. Santana would never go without a fight. I kinda believe the Porta-Potty thing. Those cleaning people had to come in and fix it."
"Well..." Rachel gritted her teeth. "It's not as if she wouldn't have laughed her butt off if it had happened to someone else."
"True. But then... I would have laughed a while ago. So would have Quinn. She might've laughed now already."
"She doesn't care about who she hurts." It upset Rachel, knowing how comfortable Quinn would have been allowing such a thing to happen to her only a year ago.
"She does too care." Brittany finished off her coffee. "But she only cares about those who matter to her. I'm not saying she's like... Buddha or something... but I think Quinn is going too far."
"She... she probably doesn't know what's happening."
Brittany didn't say anything at first, just watched Rachel. It almost disturbed her, like those blue eyes were observing something within her that she didn't want noticed.
"You picked the right one."
"Huh?"
"Finn is the hottest guy in school. But he's got no balls. I mean really, if you wanted power, Quinn was the way to go. And you got her good. You got her where it counts. Forever, probably." She grabbed Rachel's hand. "I'm glad you're together. But Santana's mine. I love her. It hurts me when she hurts. So talk to Quinn for me, get her to talk to Santana. 'Cause seriously, I'm getting pissed off. I didn't get to be one of the top three girls because they needed another blonde."
The little smile on Brittany's face made her skin crawl.
"Uhh... I'll see what I can do."
"Okay. Cool." Her smile widened to her more genuine 'Brittany the Lovable' expression. She let go of Rachel's hand, which darted under the safety of the table even though she hadn't been squeezing it in any way. "So what did you really come here for?"
"I-I-I what?" She sputtered nervously, still reeling from the weird version of Brittany she had met not two minutes ago.
"Well you didn't wanna make out with me. And you weren't concentrating so much when you were showing me how to do my work. I thought you'd, like... have written instructions or something."
"Oh... yes." Rachel flushed, not sure how to respond. "Well it was just... Santana said... I mean it doesn't matter I guess. She was just trying to mess with my head I think."
"What'd she say?"
"She just... she said that you..." Rachel laughed so hard it almost came out as braying. "You and Santana had slept with Quinn." She chuckled a little, her face still red.
"You mean like... sleepovers or sex?"
"S-sex."
"Oh. That was a while ago."
Dead silence.
"So you did. Have sex. With Quinn."
"Yeah. One time thing. It was kinda hot."
"Hot?!" She accidentally kicked her bag over. Bringing her voice down to a whisper so people would stop taking notice of them, she leaned forward. "You can't be serious. You had a threesome with Quinn and Santana. You expect me to believe that."
"I don't know..." Brittany leaned in too, making Rachel nervous. "You don't have to believe it. I don't think even Quinn believes it. But it was hot. I mean it would have been even hotter if she knew herself better that night. You know, she's more of a bottom than a top. That night she kinda fought to be the top but was scared. It was sweet. Santana is an all out top. I think that's why they didn't end up killing each other. I'm kinda jealous, I think Santana liked her taste more than mine."
Brittany pouted and talked as if she were discussing the weather, not Quinn's sex life. Rachel felt a little dizzy and found herself staring at Brittany's lips.
"I think I should go." She managed to blurt out.
"Okay, Rachel." Brittany stood up with her. "I hope you'll still help me with my paper."
"Really?" Rachel scoffed, her indignation quick to cover for her mortification. "You just tell me you orchestrated this convoluted plan to basically make Quinn back into the bitch she was a year ago just so your relationship issues with Santana can be-" She choked on her words when Brittany abruptly captured her in a hug.
"I'm sorry Rachel. I didn't want Quinn to be a bitch. I want her happy too. I think you and I need to work to make both our girls happy. So stop being mad at me so much, okay?" She leaned back, her arms still wrapped around the smaller girl. "Santana and Quinn need to talk too. I think we can fix things if you want."
There was no doubt in her mind that having so much blood situated in her head for an hour had done some permanent damage. Brittany's warm body was doing inappropriate things to her own and their faces were too close. Several people were watching with interest but Rachel couldn't bring herself to care.
"I'll.... I'll talk to Quinn." She managed to say, slowly, trying not to focus on Brittany's breath on her face. It smelled minty.
"Awesome!" She gave Rachel another squeeze before she fumbled in her bag for a pen. Rachel groaned when the girl tore off a sheet of her library book. "Here's my number. We should talk more about how to do this. Santana and Quinn are like, really high maintenance."
"Sure..." She stuffed the note in her pocket as they made their way out.
"Oh and you know, we could like, meet up at the library to work things out. I'll try and get more of my paper done before we meet up." She cast Rachel one last look before she turned toward where she parked her car. "We could do a lot of things at the library."
"Right..."
Rachel watched as Brittany walked off. She had no idea what had just happened.
****
Quinn and Rachel had learned a lot about each other, far too much in such a short time span. Eventually, after a few really loud arguments, Quinn started seeing a therapist. It was only because Rachel's fathers had noticed the sudden tension in the house and Leroy had accidently walked in on one of their epic rages.
Quinn wasn't ready to tell him everything but Leroy quickly gleaned that she had issues. It wasn't much of a surprise to him. You don't just end up homeless, give birth, give away the baby and walk around well adjusted. So he talked to Quinn individually. Rachel brought up way too many emotions for her to remain collected.
In their discussion he asked her if she might want to seek help. She told him she didn't want any.
"You know Quinn... I won't force you to do anything. You've been through a lot. I was just wondering if maybe you'd be willing to go for one session. Just to see how it goes. You know I don't give a crap about the money. You can pay me back when you're rich and useful."
She had laughed, relaxed, and gone to a session. Then she went to many more sessions. Slowly, she was growing to feel better about herself.
"Quinn, you've got to call things off on Santana."
She turned off her iPod, her thoughts jerking to the present. Quinn sat up from her position on the shed's roof. Rachel's fathers didn't approve of her climbing on top of it, said it was too dangerous, but Quinn found some comfort in it, especially at night when she could just barely make out the stars in the sky.
"You should also be inside studying. The exam next Tuesday is supposed to be difficult. And you know climbing up the shed is prohibited."
Quinn turned on her side and peered at Rachel.
"Okay... First, I'm not doing anything to Santana. Second, I've studied enough for today, mother. Third, I know, his exams are always hard. Lastly, it's only like three meters tall. For Christ's sake Rachel I used to be a cheerleader, I was leaping ten feet in the air."
"You had a threesome with Santana and Brittany."
Rachel was a little miffed that the darkness hid Quinn's expression. After all the random attacks on her sanity in the past few days, she really wished someone else could suffer the smackdown of a powerful revelation. But she couldn't make out Quinn's expression. If she hadn't been so damn flustered after her meeting with Brittany she would have planned this out better so she could squeeze out the drama.
"Santana told you this." Quinn appeared calm, her voice level.
"And Brittany." She paused. "Brittany is kind of strange."
At that Quinn let herself sit up and dangle her legs over the edge. She jumped down easily and fluidly, making Rachel's mouth water unconsciously. It was hard, keeping her hands to herself or her thoughts in order when Quinn walked around like a smooth feline.
"It doesn't matter what we did. It was nothing. We were stupid."
"Were you drunk?" Rachel was actually surprised Quinn was being so candid. She figured the therapy must have done something.
"No.... not drunk." Quinn played with the cord connected to her headphones. She sat down on the grass and leaned up against the shed wall. Rachel followed suit next to her.
"So... what... exactly... happened?"
"Rachel..." she laughed a little. "Are you shy? I never thought I'd see you shy."
"Well I don't really know what we are... together or not. I'm... I'm confused."
"I see that..." Quinn smiled and decided to cut Rachel a break. "Basically I woke up in the middle of the night - we were sleeping over at Brittany's, the three of us - and they were going at it right next to me."
"WHAT?! Are you kidding? They were fornicating right there?"
"Doesn't fornicating mean sex for the purpose of making babies? I don't think they can do that. Your vocabulary is slacking." She clicked her tongue to the roof of her mouth in amusement.
"Oh honestly, you know this is making me all... all weird..." She paused, her mind working overtime. "And you're wrong. Fornicating is about people having sex outside of marriage. Generally focusing on members of the opposite sex though. Stop trying to distract me!"
Quinn laughed loudly, which made Rachel smile.
"Anyway... yeah they were having sex. I think Brittany noticed I was awake but didn't say anything. But when it was Santana's turn...."
"Oh my God..."
"Yes... it was Santana's turn. Brittany told her they should move to another room so I wouldn't be disturbed. Santana got pissed off.... I'm not exactly sure how we all started having sex... but yeah. We had sex. And I... haven't mentioned it to anyone before. Except my therapist. And you, now."
"You never talked about it to anyone?"
"Nope."
"That must have been difficult."
Quinn shrugged. She didn't know how to explain to Rachel that really it wasn't all that difficult for her. People were remarkably adept at smothering their memories. It was why a lot of that night was still a blur to her. She couldn't remember her motivations or theirs.
"So like... Santana did stuff to you. And Brittany did stuff to you."
"Yeah..." she frowned, confused by Rachel's struggle to articulate herself. It wasn't normal for her to babble like that.
"So they did everything to you. You didn't do anything to them?"
"Well... no... They'd been doing it for a while, and I didn't have any experience. So they did most of the stuff to me."
"Oh..." Rachel felt like she was boiling in her clothes. "What... what did they do to you?"
"Santana..." she froze. "Oh my God. You're getting off on this?" Quinn burst out laughing as Rachel stuttered.
"Well - it's perfectly normal... I mean... you know... It's just - I..."
"Oh God..." She stopped giggling to catch her breath. "That's just hilarious. You little perv..." She smiled affectionately.
"Heh... yeah..." Rachel managed weakly.
"Santana.... she gave me head. And used her hands. Brittany was mainly focused on my upper half... so to speak..." Quinn smirked a little at Rachel's flustered gawking. "I think Brittany also went down on me at one point too. I came. They had sex. Then I ordered them to never speak of it again. And I went to sleep."
She shrugged like it was nothing, when just a while back it gave her heartburn just thinking about it.
"Wow."
"Yeah..." she got up and wiped her pants for grass stains.
"Where are you going?" Rachel got up a little slower, feeling dizzy.
"Ummm…back home. I need sleep."
"What about Santana?"
"What about Santana?"
"You need to talk to her. I also want you to stop all this."
"I'm not doing anything." Quinn's words were curt and smug.
"Quinn I'm not stupid. She's being tortured...."
"Oh please, as if you didn't like it!" Quinn snapped, feeling attacked. "She was a royal bitch to me all this time and then she just... fucked you over like that. She did it in front of me just to hurt me. Well you know what? She's getting what she deserves. I don't tell them a damn thing. They do whatever they want to her."
Rachel gritted her teeth. It was true, the way Quinn went into possessive and protective mode the instant their relationship changed... she had liked it. It was also exhilarating, watching everyone fall over themselves over her. Boys and girls that had scorned her in the past were practically salivating at a chance to earn a glimpse from her. It was a little uncomfortable. She owned the school through Quinn. In the end, Glee had jumped the social ladder because of Quinn and not its own merit. People wanted Rachel because they wanted Quinn.
Hey Rachel, are those books too heavy for you? Rachel there's a party next week, you're coming right? Rache is that guy bothering you? Rachel, you've got to come with me to the mall tomorrow, I need to find a dress, ask if Quinn can make it alright?
Santana had pissed Quinn off by hurting Rachel. The school learned this with daunting speed. Quinn had come back with a vengeance and no mercy. People could taste the new rage. And Brittany was right, the malice was unprecedented.
"Quinn... I-I like you a lot. You're right. She's not a nice person and I did like it...." She reached out and ran her finger tips over the Quinn's brow. "But I don't like it anymore... it kind of scares me now."
She left Quinn in the backyard, hoping that she would make things right.
****
A week and a half later Quinn found herself lonely and struggling to figure out what she should do. She knew, by the way her heart nearly imploded at the thought of scaring Rachel, that there was no way she wasn't going to comply. It was torture, Rachel ignoring her and hanging out with Brittany. But her ego and pride were at stake. She also took a lot of pleasure slowly destroying Santana.
In therapy, she had discussed her sadistic tendencies. It was only after Rachel had ordered her to stop everything that she brought up what she was doing to Santana during a session. Watching Santana come back to school every day looking more worn and deadened... it made her feel good. Her therapist suggested that it wasn't so much sadism - because she really had never gone this far before or had felt this good - than the fact that Santana personified the woman Quinn had tried to become. Quinn wore the mask; Santana was the mask she tried to put on.
So in a way, it was her own form of demented self-mutilation - though her therapist would argue that the term was inappropriate. She didn't like learning about this aspect of herself but he had assured her this was progress. What she did to Santana had to stop, and he told her it was guilt that made her reluctant to do so. She wanted to destroy her mask.
But Santana wasn't a mask. She was a human being. And Quinn really looked at her now, taking note of the sluggish way Santana moved, the furious movement of her fearful eyes, and the lack of the spark she used to have. Rachel was right to be scared and Quinn didn't know what she had been thinking.
Rachel had never been subject to such cruelty. Quinn had been encouraging them all, planting seeds of poison everywhere she went, so Santana would feel pain.
It wasn't in her to do this. She would regret it, horribly, when she finally broke Santana the way she had never broken any other human before. As the popular bitch she had always been an indirect cause of people breaking down. She upheld the system. This was the only time she had ever actively singled someone out so accurately. Part of her had always gone soft on Rachel, even during her meanest streak, because Rachel was her ideal. The woman who was so much stronger than herself.
She saw Santana as weak. Her weakness. Santana couldn't even properly rein in the school. It just added to Quinn's disgust. But she had to stop.
She just didn't know how. Well, that wasn't true. The social hierarchy was a fickle bitch. She could easily save Santana. Hell, if she wanted to she could bring her right back to her former position. Rumours would take care of why Santana had been yo-yoed to and fro. But what to do with her afterward? Santana would plot and hate and try to stab Quinn in the back. She was too tired for that crap. It would have been simpler - short term - to just break the woman now then have to fight her constantly until they moved the hell away from one another.
She would have to bargain with her.
Quinn blatantly slipped a note into Santana's textbook during class so the girl would be aware of it. Santana barely lifted her head.
****
She wasn't sure why she was at a park waiting for Quinn Fabray. After all, it could be some horrible plan to fuck her over. But at that point Santana was desperate, hoping that Quinn would never want to get her hands dirty so directly as to trick her. Besides, it was an open, public place in the middle of the afternoon. In the very least, Santana had a fighting chance, even if the place was empty on a Thursday.
"Hello Lopez."
Santana instinctively flinched, waiting for whatever was about to befall her. Quinn sat down next to her.
"I'm here to talk."
"What do you want, Fabray?" She didn't even have it in her to throw an insult. Half of her was afraid of the consequences. Quinn had really left her mark.
"You screwed things up with Rachel. She knows about that... thing we did."
"Good." She managed to smirk a little, though her voice shook a bit.
"Yes... good for you. She also wants me to stop torturing you."
Santana stayed silent, figuring it was too good to be true.
"But you and I both know it's not that simple."
"I hate you." The venom was thick in her voice and she finally looked at Quinn. She was no longer emaciated, her soft blonde hair was voluptuous and her lips were full. Those hazel eyes had become sharp and alert where they had once been dull. Quinn was back.
"I know." She frowned. "I don't know if I hate you."
"Right." Santana scoffed.
"No, really... I mean we say things like that all the time but I'm not sure if I'd be honest telling you I hated you. You're... what I always thought I wanted to be." Quinn silently cursed her therapist for making her more open. But then she knew it wasn't just opening up. She had already calculated the risk and Santana wouldn't be able to use any of this against her. It was too obscure and ridiculous for anyone to take seriously. Santana included.
"Is there a point to all this bullshit you're feeding me?"
"Yeah. I've got no motivation for breaking you. Rachel is fine. No one is going to touch her. You're not going to touch her."
"How do you know that?"
"You know..." Quinn smiled, her eyes going distant. "When we first met... what was it... grade two?"
"Grade three..."
"Yeah. I thought you were so cool." Quinn laughed at the memory while Santana's jaw dropped open. She quickly snapped her mouth shut, embarrassed.
"I wasn't aware the almighty Queen Fabray could find anyone cooler than herself."
"Never said I thought you were cooler than me." But she smirked, playing with the hem of her shirt. "But yeah, I did. You like, beat up that boy. Can't remember his name. He was two grades above us."
"Skeezy Scott Handle."
"Oh Lord... yes him. You beat him up good. Even as a kid you had the biggest balls in school."
Santana managed to keep the smile off her face. Quinn was being weirdly affectionate. Their friendship was never that close - except for Santana popping her cherry.
"I'm willing to call truce, Santana. I never even wanted to get back into all this. I wouldn't have if you didn't humiliate Rachel so bad."
"So... I can go back to being head bitch in charge?" Santana cursed herself for even asking.
"Oh no... you're never going to get that back." There was a mischievous glint in Quinn's eye. "Your balls are too big for you. Can't trust you to control yourself. But I tell you what; you can go back to being my bitch like before." At Santana's scowl, she raised an eyebrow. "I'm still pissed at you for what you did. I may not hate you but I don't like you either. That I'm even offering you this much is a gift."
Quinn got up from the bench and adjusted her jacket.
"You're not just offering me some gift Fabray, I'm no idiot."
"Oh, I've got plans." She smirked. "I'm holding you responsible for anything that happens to Rachel from this point on. Believe me when I say if there's ever a next time, I'm going to fully fuck you over."
With a little wave, Quinn walked away. If Santana was truly honest with herself, Quinn had finally earned her respect. She had fought Quinn on even grounds and lost. She didn't even have the urge to seek revenge. Besides, Quinn would just take her down if she ever tried.
Santana would never be honest with herself enough to admit that Quinn was kind of hot when she was on top.
Part Three