Puck Really is That Fucking Pimp
Title: Puck Really is That Fucking Pimp
Author: burntotears
Pairing: Rachel/Puck
Rating: PG-13 for language
Word Count: 1771
Spoilers: All aired episodes including Sectionals.
Disclaimer: © Fox
A/N: Ten drabbles in response to the challenge. Don't expect them to be great, I mean, come on! Only three minutes to write is pretty strict
iPod challenge:
1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.
2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.
Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it’s over. No lingering afterward!
4. Do ten of these and then post them
01 Life’s What You Make It by Hannah Montana, 3:11
Rachel lifted her head and walked down the hall as if she owned the school. Ok so usually when she did this she got a slushy in her face, but today was different. Glee was going places and Rachel was the star.
And Puck had chosen her-and Glee-over football of all the things in the world. She was important, she was loved, and they were going to win Sectionals no matter what it took. Now if she could stop thinking about making out with Puck and focus on their stellar line-up for Sectionals, she’d be golden.
Too bad her shoe caught on the linoleum floor and she made a nose dive for the floor then, making slushies the second-to-worst thing to happen to her in the school hallways.
-----
02 Trying by Lifehouse, 3: 53
What the fuck was wrong with her, anyway? He was a fucking stud, a fucking action star compared to her geek-in-training self. How could she, of all people, dump him, Noah Fucking-Bad-Ass Puckerman?
And why had he decided that Glee would be a better choice than football? It was like those Gleeks were brain-washing him into thinking that singing and dancing was going to get him somewhere in life, whereas he could have a full ride on a football scholarship any day.
But he did enjoy it, even if he tried to hide that fact every moment he spent in the practice room. It was fun, singing with them, like they were actually his friends. He didn’t even have any friends now, thanks to Quinn and her damn pussy calling to him like the Holy Fucking Grail. Why couldn’t he have deferred just once to save his damn high school career?
-----
03 Make Yourself by Incubus, 3:03
“Look, Berry, I have better things to do with my time than sit around in your Holly Hobby bedroom playing show tunes,” Puck practically growled, knowing that he was not going to get sex after this so why had he agreed to do this again?
“Oh and what do these ‘better things’ you have to do consist of, Noah? Hanging out with your real friends?” She felt awful the second it came out of her mouth, but the damage was done and he had definitely caught her true meaning.
“Yeah whatever, Berry. As if you ever even had a friend. What the fuck would you know about it?” He got up and carried his guitar out of her room without another word. Why did she always, always have the ability to affect him so deeply when he didn’t even like the fucking bitch?
-----
04 If All Else Fails by Matchbook Romance, 5:48
Puck hated her for being so fucking hot-regardless of the fact that he had no fucking friends now and he did not intend to spend his free time with Rachel Fucking Berry-that he was now spending his free time with Berry. No one else would have him and she was a hot consolation prize, if not a great person to keep company with. She never shut up, and Jesus Christ himself could not make her cool even if he really was the son of God, which he wasn’t.
She talked so goddamn much that he wanted to really and truly become deaf every time she started to open her mouth in one of her ‘I Know What I’m Talking About, Noah Puckerman’ speeches that somehow always left her looking flustered and sexy which was totally not fair. Puck shouldn’t have to endure all that bullshit just to finally get to look upon what made Berry tolerable at all.
So ok, maybe he didn’t have a best friend or a Baby Mama who wanted his help, but fucking hell, at least he could still get Berry to make out with him just by asking. Either she was still really desperate or he really was just that fucking pimp. The latter was the truth, totally.
-----
05 Nolita Fairytale by Vanessa Carlton, 3:27
Rachel Berry didn’t know much-that was a complete and utter lie, because Rachel Berry knew a hell of a lot and she was not the type of person to pretend that she didn’t, in fact, have the Encyclopedia Britannica in her bedroom that she consulted frequently-but she did know that Noah Puckerman was not as bad as he liked to pretend he was.
Ok so he was a bit of a jerk even when he was trying to be nice-if that was something he actually did aspire to be and sometimes she was not so sure of it-but he really did have a heart of gold and he only proved it by trying to be there for Quinn even though his best friend hated him because he’d decided to have intercourse with his girlfriend. And maybe he did get shot down by Quinn, but that meant he had potential, right? Enough potential that she should not consider him such an undesirable candidate of a boyfriend.
-----
06 Breathe (2am) by Anna Nalick, 4:18
“Hello?” Rachel could not believe the time when she glanced at it. “Noah its two in the morning, what on Earth could be so important?”
Puck could not hold back a laugh because of course she would think it would be something important for any sane person to be calling at 2 in the morning. Sad for her, Puck was not a sane person. “I’m horny, Berry.”
Puck could hear the indignant huff that came from the other end of the receiver. She really had thought it would be something important. “I believe you have a right hand that is functional, the last time I saw it in person. Why don’t you ask it for a favor, if it isn’t completely appalled at the ridiculous time of day in which you seek it for favor.”
“I want to be inside you, baby,” he acted as though she hadn’t just rattled on about him masturbating and made it sound completely sterile and not at all fun.
“Ugh, really Puckerman? You think calling at 2am when I am half conscious is going to get me to consult to have intercourse with you? Honestly, not even you are that badass,” and he heard a click on the other end. She had hung up on him!
-----
07 Hope by Jack Johnson, 3:43
Puck had always watched her in the hallway, but after having made out with her, he watched Rachel differently. He watched how, in spite of all that had been done to her in these very halls, she still carried herself as though she owned the world. She looked through other students, even those who had tormented her, and saw not their ill-will toward her, but their potential to be better than they were.
What the fuck sort of drugs did Berry take, anyway? How could she not want to turn on every one of those jackasses-this included him-and not want to deal them the sort of damage they had always dealt to her? Who could really be that...nice? He had decided: either Berry was a fucking cyborg or she was absolutely and positively on some sort of drug or tipping the bottle between classes. No one, not even a Jew, could be that forgiving.
-----
08 Another One Bites the Dust by Queen, 3:37
Ok seriously, Puck’s social status as the baddest dude in school was in jeopardy if he was losing two chicks within the span of a few months. First he lost Rachel Berry, of all the fucking girls in the world, but now he was losing Quinn too. Which he could partially blame Berry for too for opening her huge trap to Finn to try and get him in her pants. To Puck’s sick amusement, Berry had not gotten Finn’s attention by this stunt either and if he was going to take some pleasure out of the misery that was now his life, this would be it. Rachel would not be getting off to Finn’s retarded advances, because he did not want anything to do with anyone then, not even Rachel. He supposed in Finn’s mind that part of the fault lied with Rachel as she had given him the bad news to begin with. Finn was fucking stupid like that.
But he had to hand it to the guy, regardless of how slow he could be sometimes, he got the whole picture when it came to Puck and Quinn, and he seemed to hate them both equally if not Puck more for being the instigator.
-----
09 I Can Hear Music by The Beach Boys, 2:39
Puck wanted to kill himself. “Seriously Berry? You have The Beach Boys on your iPod? Really?”
Rachel looked at him as though he were the stupidest creature to ever grace the planet. “The Beach Boys, Noah, are an iconic musical group and have touched the hearts of those living all over the United States, from California to New York City, even if they did wish they were all California girls.”
Puck thought maybe he would have to kill her now too. “Please tell me you did not just quote a song from The Beach Boys for your argument as to why they are possibly at all acceptable to listen to.”
Rachel’s hands hit her hips. “How do you know it was a song of theirs, if you don’t listen to them, Noah?”
-----
10 I Want My Life by Smile Empty Soul, 4:15
Yeah ok, so Puck was wallowing in his own self-pity and hatred, but why not? His best friend hated him because he’d fucked his girlfriend-Puck wanted to be angry at Finn for it, but how the hell could he be when he considered what he’d done? Puck fucked his girlfriend, of course he was going to be fucking pissed. Puck would have been too, even if he did refuse to have girlfriends. It was a guy code that you didn’t break and it did not have to be said, either.
But shit, Quinn wanted to ‘do this herself’ whatever the hell that meant. She hadn’t gotten pregnant by herself, so why did she think she could go through pregnancy on her own when her parents kicked her out of the house and she was living with her boyfriend who wasn’t even the father of her kid?
Puck was fucking sick of thinking of Quinn and how she had completely disregarded his help, even though he had proved over and over he was going to be responsible and not a fucking deadbeat like his own father had been. Quinn wasn’t going to last and she’d be crawling back to him when Finn dumped her finally and tried to get with Rachel as a rebound fuck.
Shit. Berry would totally fuck him too, even if it was just a rebound. Fuck, he really wanted to beat the shit out of Finn for even thinking about it. And he didn’t know if Finn even was thinking about it.
Author: burntotears
Pairing: Rachel/Puck
Rating: PG-13 for language
Word Count: 1771
Spoilers: All aired episodes including Sectionals.
Disclaimer: © Fox
A/N: Ten drabbles in response to the challenge. Don't expect them to be great, I mean, come on! Only three minutes to write is pretty strict
iPod challenge:
1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.
2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.
Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it’s over. No lingering afterward!
4. Do ten of these and then post them
01 Life’s What You Make It by Hannah Montana, 3:11
Rachel lifted her head and walked down the hall as if she owned the school. Ok so usually when she did this she got a slushy in her face, but today was different. Glee was going places and Rachel was the star.
And Puck had chosen her-and Glee-over football of all the things in the world. She was important, she was loved, and they were going to win Sectionals no matter what it took. Now if she could stop thinking about making out with Puck and focus on their stellar line-up for Sectionals, she’d be golden.
Too bad her shoe caught on the linoleum floor and she made a nose dive for the floor then, making slushies the second-to-worst thing to happen to her in the school hallways.
-----
02 Trying by Lifehouse, 3: 53
What the fuck was wrong with her, anyway? He was a fucking stud, a fucking action star compared to her geek-in-training self. How could she, of all people, dump him, Noah Fucking-Bad-Ass Puckerman?
And why had he decided that Glee would be a better choice than football? It was like those Gleeks were brain-washing him into thinking that singing and dancing was going to get him somewhere in life, whereas he could have a full ride on a football scholarship any day.
But he did enjoy it, even if he tried to hide that fact every moment he spent in the practice room. It was fun, singing with them, like they were actually his friends. He didn’t even have any friends now, thanks to Quinn and her damn pussy calling to him like the Holy Fucking Grail. Why couldn’t he have deferred just once to save his damn high school career?
-----
03 Make Yourself by Incubus, 3:03
“Look, Berry, I have better things to do with my time than sit around in your Holly Hobby bedroom playing show tunes,” Puck practically growled, knowing that he was not going to get sex after this so why had he agreed to do this again?
“Oh and what do these ‘better things’ you have to do consist of, Noah? Hanging out with your real friends?” She felt awful the second it came out of her mouth, but the damage was done and he had definitely caught her true meaning.
“Yeah whatever, Berry. As if you ever even had a friend. What the fuck would you know about it?” He got up and carried his guitar out of her room without another word. Why did she always, always have the ability to affect him so deeply when he didn’t even like the fucking bitch?
-----
04 If All Else Fails by Matchbook Romance, 5:48
Puck hated her for being so fucking hot-regardless of the fact that he had no fucking friends now and he did not intend to spend his free time with Rachel Fucking Berry-that he was now spending his free time with Berry. No one else would have him and she was a hot consolation prize, if not a great person to keep company with. She never shut up, and Jesus Christ himself could not make her cool even if he really was the son of God, which he wasn’t.
She talked so goddamn much that he wanted to really and truly become deaf every time she started to open her mouth in one of her ‘I Know What I’m Talking About, Noah Puckerman’ speeches that somehow always left her looking flustered and sexy which was totally not fair. Puck shouldn’t have to endure all that bullshit just to finally get to look upon what made Berry tolerable at all.
So ok, maybe he didn’t have a best friend or a Baby Mama who wanted his help, but fucking hell, at least he could still get Berry to make out with him just by asking. Either she was still really desperate or he really was just that fucking pimp. The latter was the truth, totally.
-----
05 Nolita Fairytale by Vanessa Carlton, 3:27
Rachel Berry didn’t know much-that was a complete and utter lie, because Rachel Berry knew a hell of a lot and she was not the type of person to pretend that she didn’t, in fact, have the Encyclopedia Britannica in her bedroom that she consulted frequently-but she did know that Noah Puckerman was not as bad as he liked to pretend he was.
Ok so he was a bit of a jerk even when he was trying to be nice-if that was something he actually did aspire to be and sometimes she was not so sure of it-but he really did have a heart of gold and he only proved it by trying to be there for Quinn even though his best friend hated him because he’d decided to have intercourse with his girlfriend. And maybe he did get shot down by Quinn, but that meant he had potential, right? Enough potential that she should not consider him such an undesirable candidate of a boyfriend.
-----
06 Breathe (2am) by Anna Nalick, 4:18
“Hello?” Rachel could not believe the time when she glanced at it. “Noah its two in the morning, what on Earth could be so important?”
Puck could not hold back a laugh because of course she would think it would be something important for any sane person to be calling at 2 in the morning. Sad for her, Puck was not a sane person. “I’m horny, Berry.”
Puck could hear the indignant huff that came from the other end of the receiver. She really had thought it would be something important. “I believe you have a right hand that is functional, the last time I saw it in person. Why don’t you ask it for a favor, if it isn’t completely appalled at the ridiculous time of day in which you seek it for favor.”
“I want to be inside you, baby,” he acted as though she hadn’t just rattled on about him masturbating and made it sound completely sterile and not at all fun.
“Ugh, really Puckerman? You think calling at 2am when I am half conscious is going to get me to consult to have intercourse with you? Honestly, not even you are that badass,” and he heard a click on the other end. She had hung up on him!
-----
07 Hope by Jack Johnson, 3:43
Puck had always watched her in the hallway, but after having made out with her, he watched Rachel differently. He watched how, in spite of all that had been done to her in these very halls, she still carried herself as though she owned the world. She looked through other students, even those who had tormented her, and saw not their ill-will toward her, but their potential to be better than they were.
What the fuck sort of drugs did Berry take, anyway? How could she not want to turn on every one of those jackasses-this included him-and not want to deal them the sort of damage they had always dealt to her? Who could really be that...nice? He had decided: either Berry was a fucking cyborg or she was absolutely and positively on some sort of drug or tipping the bottle between classes. No one, not even a Jew, could be that forgiving.
-----
08 Another One Bites the Dust by Queen, 3:37
Ok seriously, Puck’s social status as the baddest dude in school was in jeopardy if he was losing two chicks within the span of a few months. First he lost Rachel Berry, of all the fucking girls in the world, but now he was losing Quinn too. Which he could partially blame Berry for too for opening her huge trap to Finn to try and get him in her pants. To Puck’s sick amusement, Berry had not gotten Finn’s attention by this stunt either and if he was going to take some pleasure out of the misery that was now his life, this would be it. Rachel would not be getting off to Finn’s retarded advances, because he did not want anything to do with anyone then, not even Rachel. He supposed in Finn’s mind that part of the fault lied with Rachel as she had given him the bad news to begin with. Finn was fucking stupid like that.
But he had to hand it to the guy, regardless of how slow he could be sometimes, he got the whole picture when it came to Puck and Quinn, and he seemed to hate them both equally if not Puck more for being the instigator.
-----
09 I Can Hear Music by The Beach Boys, 2:39
Puck wanted to kill himself. “Seriously Berry? You have The Beach Boys on your iPod? Really?”
Rachel looked at him as though he were the stupidest creature to ever grace the planet. “The Beach Boys, Noah, are an iconic musical group and have touched the hearts of those living all over the United States, from California to New York City, even if they did wish they were all California girls.”
Puck thought maybe he would have to kill her now too. “Please tell me you did not just quote a song from The Beach Boys for your argument as to why they are possibly at all acceptable to listen to.”
Rachel’s hands hit her hips. “How do you know it was a song of theirs, if you don’t listen to them, Noah?”
-----
10 I Want My Life by Smile Empty Soul, 4:15
Yeah ok, so Puck was wallowing in his own self-pity and hatred, but why not? His best friend hated him because he’d fucked his girlfriend-Puck wanted to be angry at Finn for it, but how the hell could he be when he considered what he’d done? Puck fucked his girlfriend, of course he was going to be fucking pissed. Puck would have been too, even if he did refuse to have girlfriends. It was a guy code that you didn’t break and it did not have to be said, either.
But shit, Quinn wanted to ‘do this herself’ whatever the hell that meant. She hadn’t gotten pregnant by herself, so why did she think she could go through pregnancy on her own when her parents kicked her out of the house and she was living with her boyfriend who wasn’t even the father of her kid?
Puck was fucking sick of thinking of Quinn and how she had completely disregarded his help, even though he had proved over and over he was going to be responsible and not a fucking deadbeat like his own father had been. Quinn wasn’t going to last and she’d be crawling back to him when Finn dumped her finally and tried to get with Rachel as a rebound fuck.
Shit. Berry would totally fuck him too, even if it was just a rebound. Fuck, he really wanted to beat the shit out of Finn for even thinking about it. And he didn’t know if Finn even was thinking about it.