Dealing With Stupid People [Tuesday, August 7, 2nd period]
"Today, in a shocking change of pace, we'll deal with even more stupid people," Josh said, waving his hand around the Danger Shop at the simulated Yellow Line Metro stop.
"The combination of just waking up, not wanting to be going to work, not paying attention and being an idiot tourist combine to give Washington, DC some of the most ridiculous morning commutes in the country. You have two choices: You can get on the Metro," he waved his hand over his shoulder towards the station, "where you will have to get yourself a Metro pass, go in the correct direction, transfer through Metro Center, one of the scariest places at 8:15 in the morning known to man, and make your way from there to the Red Line and Farragut North. Which is by the White House and therefore awesome. If you screw up and end up at Farragut West, I will mock you. On this commute, you will encounter tour gaggles of idiot middle schoolers, women with baby carriages who won't move towards the center of the car, and people without enough coffee to be paying attention. You are not allowed to scream or throw things unless they really, really deserve it."
"Or! You can get in one of these handy cars--" he pointed to the provided cars, "get onto I-395, go across the 14th Street Bridge and try to find parking near the White House without getting run over by an illegal cab driver, cut off by someone who thinks merging is a sign of weakness, or exiting at the wrong spot and end up in a giant Pentagon parking lot. At which point I will also mock you."
He clapped his hands together. "Work in teams of two--that gets you into the High Occupancy Vehicle lane on the highway and makes for more entertainment on the Metro. First team to the fake White House gets a real White House tour from me this weekend."
He clapped his hands together. "Don't just stand there like you've wandered off the Greyhound from South Dakota! Move!"
"The combination of just waking up, not wanting to be going to work, not paying attention and being an idiot tourist combine to give Washington, DC some of the most ridiculous morning commutes in the country. You have two choices: You can get on the Metro," he waved his hand over his shoulder towards the station, "where you will have to get yourself a Metro pass, go in the correct direction, transfer through Metro Center, one of the scariest places at 8:15 in the morning known to man, and make your way from there to the Red Line and Farragut North. Which is by the White House and therefore awesome. If you screw up and end up at Farragut West, I will mock you. On this commute, you will encounter tour gaggles of idiot middle schoolers, women with baby carriages who won't move towards the center of the car, and people without enough coffee to be paying attention. You are not allowed to scream or throw things unless they really, really deserve it."
"Or! You can get in one of these handy cars--" he pointed to the provided cars, "get onto I-395, go across the 14th Street Bridge and try to find parking near the White House without getting run over by an illegal cab driver, cut off by someone who thinks merging is a sign of weakness, or exiting at the wrong spot and end up in a giant Pentagon parking lot. At which point I will also mock you."
He clapped his hands together. "Work in teams of two--that gets you into the High Occupancy Vehicle lane on the highway and makes for more entertainment on the Metro. First team to the fake White House gets a real White House tour from me this weekend."
He clapped his hands together. "Don't just stand there like you've wandered off the Greyhound from South Dakota! Move!"