The Science of Sexuality, Monday
"Welcome back to a new school week," John began, standing in front of the large blackboard - and thus obscuring most of the drawings Sherlock had been putting up. "Today, we'll be speaking about what's technically the, er, consequences of intercourse, just because this really can't be said enough. Sexually transmitted diseases are a fact in our society, and though most of you are probably aware by now, the sad truth is that less and less people are working to actively prevent acquiring any of them. Hence this lecture."
They'd already been smudged by John in his attempt to 'protect' children from the anatomically correct drawings of STDs, thank you.
"Yes, despite all the lectures you have no doubt heard, infections of Herpes, Chlamydia and Hepatitis have continued consistently over the years in America." Silly Americans. "Though Syphilis has gone down," Sherlock added with a grin that wasn't pleasant at all. "Something to be proud of, I'm certain."
"So, the odds of one of you having any of these diseases is remarkably high considering the sexual activity of teenagers."
"As well as AIDs, a disease that slowly destroys your body's ability to ward off illness," John said, his own somewhat more severe tone off-setting Sherlock's... comparative cheer. "Though many of you might have been led to believe that it is no longer as much of a danger now that it can be managed with medicine, the truth is that it is still a very dangerous disease that continues to spread. Which means that protection is incredibly important. We're not advocating abstinence, because-- well." Sherlock, if you please?
"We are not dumb enough to believe any of that would seep into your brains," Sherlock added kindly. "I don't care if you catch any assortment of sexually transmitted diseases, I simply suggest you use a condom or some other form of birth control so as to not spread your genetic material around any further."
"Yes, well..." John took a moment, "That's not the kind of, ah, sexual repercussion we're speaking about today."
Sherlock rolled his eyes. "It's the only one that affects me. If they want to live with the consequences of their stupidity for rest of their lives, that's their choice. Perhaps they'll meet someone else with an equally infectious disease and live blissfully ever after."
"We're trying to prevent them from getting any infectious diseases to begin with," John sighed. It reeked of resignation. "Anyway, STDs can range from bacterial infections to fungi, viruses and parasites. Chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis are all bacteria. Likewise for chancroid, known for the, er, sores on the genitalia, and granuloma, which causes lesions. Sherlock has outlined some of the more obvious symptoms of these diseases. I suggest you take a quick look at them before he wipes them from the blackboard."
Go and wipe, Sherlock, before John had to glare at you.
Sherlock shot him a look, unmoved by the glare. "You can find worse online."
Oh, /b/. It burns your very soul.
"Now I believe John has a game for you to play because I already vetoed those insipid little toys."
"I was going to tell you more," John said, because Sherlock was proving to be utterly unhelpful, "But it occurred to me that you learn more by doing. So we've made these cards--" Which were utterly tasteful and without any scarring images, thank you, though even John had been tempted to put some photos on just to drive the message home. "Each one of you gets one. Pick a partner, and play twenty questions until you can figure out which disease the other one's got."
... A beat.
"...on the card."
They'd already been smudged by John in his attempt to 'protect' children from the anatomically correct drawings of STDs, thank you.
"Yes, despite all the lectures you have no doubt heard, infections of Herpes, Chlamydia and Hepatitis have continued consistently over the years in America." Silly Americans. "Though Syphilis has gone down," Sherlock added with a grin that wasn't pleasant at all. "Something to be proud of, I'm certain."
"So, the odds of one of you having any of these diseases is remarkably high considering the sexual activity of teenagers."
"As well as AIDs, a disease that slowly destroys your body's ability to ward off illness," John said, his own somewhat more severe tone off-setting Sherlock's... comparative cheer. "Though many of you might have been led to believe that it is no longer as much of a danger now that it can be managed with medicine, the truth is that it is still a very dangerous disease that continues to spread. Which means that protection is incredibly important. We're not advocating abstinence, because-- well." Sherlock, if you please?
"We are not dumb enough to believe any of that would seep into your brains," Sherlock added kindly. "I don't care if you catch any assortment of sexually transmitted diseases, I simply suggest you use a condom or some other form of birth control so as to not spread your genetic material around any further."
"Yes, well..." John took a moment, "That's not the kind of, ah, sexual repercussion we're speaking about today."
Sherlock rolled his eyes. "It's the only one that affects me. If they want to live with the consequences of their stupidity for rest of their lives, that's their choice. Perhaps they'll meet someone else with an equally infectious disease and live blissfully ever after."
"We're trying to prevent them from getting any infectious diseases to begin with," John sighed. It reeked of resignation. "Anyway, STDs can range from bacterial infections to fungi, viruses and parasites. Chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis are all bacteria. Likewise for chancroid, known for the, er, sores on the genitalia, and granuloma, which causes lesions. Sherlock has outlined some of the more obvious symptoms of these diseases. I suggest you take a quick look at them before he wipes them from the blackboard."
Go and wipe, Sherlock, before John had to glare at you.
Sherlock shot him a look, unmoved by the glare. "You can find worse online."
Oh, /b/. It burns your very soul.
"Now I believe John has a game for you to play because I already vetoed those insipid little toys."
"I was going to tell you more," John said, because Sherlock was proving to be utterly unhelpful, "But it occurred to me that you learn more by doing. So we've made these cards--" Which were utterly tasteful and without any scarring images, thank you, though even John had been tempted to put some photos on just to drive the message home. "Each one of you gets one. Pick a partner, and play twenty questions until you can figure out which disease the other one's got."
... A beat.
"...on the card."