Surviving Life at Court, Friday, 5/25
The Danger Shop had been arranged to appear like a room inside a castle today, with one long table with benches on either side taking up the center of the room and faded tapestries hung from the walls. Goblets of water and place settings at each seat might give students some idea that this was to be a feast.
"Welcome," Tyrion said, once the students seemed more or less settled in their places. "Last week, we covered dancing -- and I thank my assistants much for that. Today, we will talk about another sort of event: The formal dinner. Honestly, these things can be deadly in more than one way, so what you're mainly trying to do is get out alive, healthy, and without any new enemies."
"Table manners vary from place to place," he continued. "And mine are atrocious anyhow. If you're interested, I've some books on the subject you may peruse. But there are a handful of rules that apply almost universally. Don't talk with food in your mouth; no one wants to see that. Don't eat with your hands unless you're certain everyone else is. Do your best not to pick fights at the table, even if you're seated next to the greatest fool in the kingdom. Don't get drunk enough to embarrass yourself. Follow the lead of your host or hostess as to when to eat, when to set your knife aside, and when the meal is over and it's time to retire. Make pleasant conversation as long as you can stand it. Safe topics are generally the weather, how beautiful the house you're in is, how good the food is, and history, unless it touches on something all at the table would prefer not to acknowledge. If you've nothing polite to say, be quiet. You should at least taste everything put before you, but don't be a glutton, and for gods' sake don't try to eat something that you suspect will make you sick. Oh, and be nice to the servants. It's poor form not to be."
"Sometimes," Tyrion continued, with a gesture to a man carrying a lute who'd been standing at the side, "there will be entertainment. It's often not very good, but that's not to be taken out on the poor unfortunate who's deluded himself into believing he can sing. Smile and clap even if it isn't quite to your tastes."
He took his place at the head of the table, unfurled his napkin. "And now we will begin."
"Welcome," Tyrion said, once the students seemed more or less settled in their places. "Last week, we covered dancing -- and I thank my assistants much for that. Today, we will talk about another sort of event: The formal dinner. Honestly, these things can be deadly in more than one way, so what you're mainly trying to do is get out alive, healthy, and without any new enemies."
"Table manners vary from place to place," he continued. "And mine are atrocious anyhow. If you're interested, I've some books on the subject you may peruse. But there are a handful of rules that apply almost universally. Don't talk with food in your mouth; no one wants to see that. Don't eat with your hands unless you're certain everyone else is. Do your best not to pick fights at the table, even if you're seated next to the greatest fool in the kingdom. Don't get drunk enough to embarrass yourself. Follow the lead of your host or hostess as to when to eat, when to set your knife aside, and when the meal is over and it's time to retire. Make pleasant conversation as long as you can stand it. Safe topics are generally the weather, how beautiful the house you're in is, how good the food is, and history, unless it touches on something all at the table would prefer not to acknowledge. If you've nothing polite to say, be quiet. You should at least taste everything put before you, but don't be a glutton, and for gods' sake don't try to eat something that you suspect will make you sick. Oh, and be nice to the servants. It's poor form not to be."
"Sometimes," Tyrion continued, with a gesture to a man carrying a lute who'd been standing at the side, "there will be entertainment. It's often not very good, but that's not to be taken out on the poor unfortunate who's deluded himself into believing he can sing. Smile and clap even if it isn't quite to your tastes."
He took his place at the head of the table, unfurled his napkin. "And now we will begin."