[Fanfiction] The Cake With The Captain Inside, by callieach
Title: The Cake With The Captain Inside
Author: callieach
Fandom: Star Trek xi
Characters/Pairings: McCoy/Kirk, ensemble
Rating: PG-13 (for patented Kirk suggestiveness)
Word Count: 995
Summary: Bones gets a surprise party on his birthday. Fluffy/dirty things ensue.
Disclaimer: Still no.
Note: For kilala10's birthday. Because kilala10 is worth, like, ten tiers of boiled-frosting-covered cake. True story. ♥
It was the end of his shift and he'd escaped with only one mention of his birthday. And that had been a quick, "oh, right, and happy birthday," first thing that morning, from Jim.
Bones wouldn't rather it any other way. Birthdays, to him, meant getting your favourite desserts at a family get-together. Since that wasn't bound to happen in the middle of space, ignoring the date was the easier choice. Hopes couldn't be dashed if they were ground level.
So when Spock trapped him in the turbolift and insisted they dine together in the mess hall, Bones purposely ignored the fact that it could be a birthday surprise. It was more likely that Jim's attempts at mediating a relationship between the two of them were working. Besides, Bones was too damn old for surprises.
Nonetheless, surprised he was when the doors to the mess opened. Instead of the usual few-dozen crewmembers found there at any given moment, at least three hundred people were crowded together, facing the door.
"Happy birthday, Doctor McCoy!" those three-hundred-and-some-odd personnel shouted in some attempt at unison.
Bones raised his eyebrows and turned to look at Spock. The pointy-eared commander was undeniably smiling at Bones' reaction.
"Uhhh…" Bones scanned the crowd. At the front, to his right, Scotty and Chapel (who had been surprisingly quick to run off when her shift was over) were leaning against each other, looking like partners in crime. He addressed his bewildered thanks at them, and they donned matching grins.
"An' tha's not all," Scotty said, pushing a button on something that looked suspiciously like an old-fashioned television controller.
A black curtain Bones hadn't paid any heed before suddenly dropped to the floor, revealing what looked like a giant cake. Three tiers stacked to a good six feet high, each covered in what sure as hell looked like frosting and a few rings of decoration.
Chapel, looking more conniving than he'd ever seen her, looked at him and nodded toward the cake. "Well, go head, Leonard."
Suddenly feeling embarrassed by the assembled crew watching him, Bones picked his way to the cake. When he passed Sulu and Uhura, both snickering over something or other, he realized someone was missing. Not that it mattered, since they spent most every night together anyway, but still. If someone - or, apparently, a large group of someones - had wanted to throw him some sort of… birthday party, he would have assumed that the captain would know about it. If Jim had let anyone celebrate his own birthday publicly, Bones would've been there.
Making up excuses of captainly duties, Bones reached the cake. The substance on the surface was looking more and more like boiled frosting with every second that passed.
Dignity be damned, he reached out and swiped a bit, then licked his finger. Yep, definitely -
The top of the cake, for lack of a better word, exploded. Bones made some sort of exclamation and stumbled back. He leaned against a table and looked up. The male figure protruding from the new hole in the top of the cake was shirtless and grinning.
"Happy birthday, Bones!"
"Damnit, Jim, why are you in my cake?" Bones crossed his arms over his chest, trying to act as annoyed as possible.
"I'm your surprise." Jim put his hands on his hips. "You're supposed to be surprised and joyful."
It ended up that Jim and Scotty, while designing the cake, had thought of a great way into it, but no way out. This had Bones spending a good hour going between the buffet that was set up for the party and the cake with the captain inside. Eventually, most of the crowd petered off and enough of the cake was gone that Jim was easily able to climb out of its polymer frame.
Bones, who was sitting on a table with the last slice of peach cobbler - it was his birthday, after all - quirked an eyebrow at him. "Why aren't you wearing pants?" he asked, gesturing at Jim's plaid boxers.
Jim shrugged. "Didn't want to get them covered in cake."
"And yet your head and torso are completely allowed?" Bones set the cobbler aside and reached out to run his hand through Jim's hair. Cake crumbs and frosting came off on his hand.
"All good parties end with nudity. I thought I'd get a head start." Jim moved a bit closer to Bones, pushing thighs to knees.
"Jim Kirk, always one step ahead." Bones started to chuckle, but the sound was muffled by Jim pressing their lips together. It wasn't anything special, just the affectionate and comfortable contact they shared without the hesitation that had been there before.
"You're too well-clothed," Jim told him, not moving very far away to say it.
"And I'm not about to go running around the ship in my boxers."
Jim gave him that look and wriggled his hips a little. "Private party in the captain's quarters, then?"
"I'm an old man, now. You sure you still want me?" Bones raised an eyebrow and let Jim take a hold his hands.
"Good god, man," Jim exclaimed. His imitation was surprisingly good. "You're thirty-five, not ninty-five." And then he nestled his nose into the crook of Bones' neck, causing Bones to contemplate just how much this birthday outshone a lot of recent ones.
"That a yes?"
Jim drew back to give him another look. "Of course, you idiot."
Bones grinned and was about to slide off the table when a particularly large dollop of frosting on Jim's collarbone caught his attention. As his hands were being held, the best he could do was lick the frosting away. Jim arched an eyebrow and tugged Bones off the table.
They walked from the mess hand in hand, the let's go between them having been unspoken.
"Your birthday happy yet, Bones?" Jim asked in between kisses on the short turbolift ride to his floor.
Bones didn't even have to think about it. "Yeah."
---
And now for the visual aid. For great LULZ. On my break last night at work, I was trying to decide what to write for a Kirk/McCoy shipper's birthday and started doodling away on an envelope (because that is how we roll at Hallmark). This was the best result. Let's disclaim right here and now, though, that I am proficient in many crafts. Drawing is not one of them.
Author: callieach
Fandom: Star Trek xi
Characters/Pairings: McCoy/Kirk, ensemble
Rating: PG-13 (for patented Kirk suggestiveness)
Word Count: 995
Summary: Bones gets a surprise party on his birthday. Fluffy/dirty things ensue.
Disclaimer: Still no.
Note: For kilala10's birthday. Because kilala10 is worth, like, ten tiers of boiled-frosting-covered cake. True story. ♥
It was the end of his shift and he'd escaped with only one mention of his birthday. And that had been a quick, "oh, right, and happy birthday," first thing that morning, from Jim.
Bones wouldn't rather it any other way. Birthdays, to him, meant getting your favourite desserts at a family get-together. Since that wasn't bound to happen in the middle of space, ignoring the date was the easier choice. Hopes couldn't be dashed if they were ground level.
So when Spock trapped him in the turbolift and insisted they dine together in the mess hall, Bones purposely ignored the fact that it could be a birthday surprise. It was more likely that Jim's attempts at mediating a relationship between the two of them were working. Besides, Bones was too damn old for surprises.
Nonetheless, surprised he was when the doors to the mess opened. Instead of the usual few-dozen crewmembers found there at any given moment, at least three hundred people were crowded together, facing the door.
"Happy birthday, Doctor McCoy!" those three-hundred-and-some-odd personnel shouted in some attempt at unison.
Bones raised his eyebrows and turned to look at Spock. The pointy-eared commander was undeniably smiling at Bones' reaction.
"Uhhh…" Bones scanned the crowd. At the front, to his right, Scotty and Chapel (who had been surprisingly quick to run off when her shift was over) were leaning against each other, looking like partners in crime. He addressed his bewildered thanks at them, and they donned matching grins.
"An' tha's not all," Scotty said, pushing a button on something that looked suspiciously like an old-fashioned television controller.
A black curtain Bones hadn't paid any heed before suddenly dropped to the floor, revealing what looked like a giant cake. Three tiers stacked to a good six feet high, each covered in what sure as hell looked like frosting and a few rings of decoration.
Chapel, looking more conniving than he'd ever seen her, looked at him and nodded toward the cake. "Well, go head, Leonard."
Suddenly feeling embarrassed by the assembled crew watching him, Bones picked his way to the cake. When he passed Sulu and Uhura, both snickering over something or other, he realized someone was missing. Not that it mattered, since they spent most every night together anyway, but still. If someone - or, apparently, a large group of someones - had wanted to throw him some sort of… birthday party, he would have assumed that the captain would know about it. If Jim had let anyone celebrate his own birthday publicly, Bones would've been there.
Making up excuses of captainly duties, Bones reached the cake. The substance on the surface was looking more and more like boiled frosting with every second that passed.
Dignity be damned, he reached out and swiped a bit, then licked his finger. Yep, definitely -
The top of the cake, for lack of a better word, exploded. Bones made some sort of exclamation and stumbled back. He leaned against a table and looked up. The male figure protruding from the new hole in the top of the cake was shirtless and grinning.
"Happy birthday, Bones!"
"Damnit, Jim, why are you in my cake?" Bones crossed his arms over his chest, trying to act as annoyed as possible.
"I'm your surprise." Jim put his hands on his hips. "You're supposed to be surprised and joyful."
It ended up that Jim and Scotty, while designing the cake, had thought of a great way into it, but no way out. This had Bones spending a good hour going between the buffet that was set up for the party and the cake with the captain inside. Eventually, most of the crowd petered off and enough of the cake was gone that Jim was easily able to climb out of its polymer frame.
Bones, who was sitting on a table with the last slice of peach cobbler - it was his birthday, after all - quirked an eyebrow at him. "Why aren't you wearing pants?" he asked, gesturing at Jim's plaid boxers.
Jim shrugged. "Didn't want to get them covered in cake."
"And yet your head and torso are completely allowed?" Bones set the cobbler aside and reached out to run his hand through Jim's hair. Cake crumbs and frosting came off on his hand.
"All good parties end with nudity. I thought I'd get a head start." Jim moved a bit closer to Bones, pushing thighs to knees.
"Jim Kirk, always one step ahead." Bones started to chuckle, but the sound was muffled by Jim pressing their lips together. It wasn't anything special, just the affectionate and comfortable contact they shared without the hesitation that had been there before.
"You're too well-clothed," Jim told him, not moving very far away to say it.
"And I'm not about to go running around the ship in my boxers."
Jim gave him that look and wriggled his hips a little. "Private party in the captain's quarters, then?"
"I'm an old man, now. You sure you still want me?" Bones raised an eyebrow and let Jim take a hold his hands.
"Good god, man," Jim exclaimed. His imitation was surprisingly good. "You're thirty-five, not ninty-five." And then he nestled his nose into the crook of Bones' neck, causing Bones to contemplate just how much this birthday outshone a lot of recent ones.
"That a yes?"
Jim drew back to give him another look. "Of course, you idiot."
Bones grinned and was about to slide off the table when a particularly large dollop of frosting on Jim's collarbone caught his attention. As his hands were being held, the best he could do was lick the frosting away. Jim arched an eyebrow and tugged Bones off the table.
They walked from the mess hand in hand, the let's go between them having been unspoken.
"Your birthday happy yet, Bones?" Jim asked in between kisses on the short turbolift ride to his floor.
Bones didn't even have to think about it. "Yeah."
---
And now for the visual aid. For great LULZ. On my break last night at work, I was trying to decide what to write for a Kirk/McCoy shipper's birthday and started doodling away on an envelope (because that is how we roll at Hallmark). This was the best result. Let's disclaim right here and now, though, that I am proficient in many crafts. Drawing is not one of them.