at random
So I said I'd observe things more and write down what I observe. So.
- I might be somewhat lactose intolerant?? Hahaha oh god. I know I have relatively little to complain about with regards to diet compared to some people but just my normal allergy set is exhausting to me so this is Not Fun. I can do "vegetarian milks in coffee and cocoa" just fine, but if I have to give up cheese I will cry, and if I have to give up yogurt well there went an easy to access protein filled American style breakfast.
- If I don't get outside during sunlight hours, even a little, I go batshit nuts by late afternoon. This is kind of problematic when it's brutally cold outside, but it does mean my lunch hour needs to be freakin' sacred. It's also not necessarily great on the weekends for indoorsy hobbies and saving money, but uh, we'll figure that one out.
- If I have coffee after noon, I can't sleep at night. This probably also extends to caffeinated teas, but oh god if you take my green tea away from me what will my hands fiddle with at work???
- I'm not good at reaching out to people outside of "hey, when can I next see you" or "hey, you are a subject matter expert in a thing I need help in, advice plz?" I am working on this a little bit in a group chat with some friends and with my lovers but it is hard!
- Relatedly, at work i tend to interrupt people without realizing it? bleeeeeeeeeeh sociability how you do. But other than that work is actually...pretty good???? my bosses seem mostly happy and i'm starting to adjust so that's neat. it's looking like my responsibilities are going to ramp up. i'm hoping this means a nontrivial raise because...
- ...that offer on that apartment went through and the contract is signed! Assuming the mortgage application and board interview go well, which they should, I'll be moving in April. Sometime around PAX. hahahhaha AUGH WHAT IS LOGISTICS
- also in AUGH WHAT IS LOGISTICS: the wedding I'm attending isn't actually in Florida, which threw a whole pile of plans out the proverbial window, but I want to see my friends again so I will go anyway. Also IRDC New York is probably going to be a thing also in the summer? oh god i hope i am not taking too much on
- I'm making good progress on making femme-as-hell self care (nail polish and actually using my makeup, basically) a habit and refining techniques, which is a fun hobby. Navigating the unique contours and colors of my face to figure out what's flattering to me is an interesting back and forth. Coppery metallic eyeshadow (when my eyelids aren't inflamed to hell), mascara, peachy highlighter/blush, and berry lip gloss has become my workday staples (they live in a tiny bag in my desk). And thank God I work at a place that lets me still put on weird nail polish colors! <3
- I'm also making progress on building tiny plastic robots as a hobby, which is /also/ fun. When I got back to NY I found I had a ZZ GM III unfinished, and snapfit that together; New Year's Day I took advantage of the one day sale at Midtown Comics and picked up a Thunderbolt Zaku 1, which I snapfitted, panel lined, and (mostly) decal'd; and just this past weekend I finally went to Image Anime and picked up Amida's Hyakuren (from IBO, which has been the fuel for my recent Gundam obsession). All HGs, so small and simple, but still really lovely. The Zaku was pleasingly complicated; it's looking like the Hyakuren will be very simple by comparison, but I don't mind because it's still really lovely looking and of the pilots in IBO, Amida is my favorite <3. I don't think I'll get into painting any time soon, just due to ventilation and time constraints, but panel lining alone really elevates the look of a kit. I picked up cutters before building the Zaku, and they made a huge difference - not having the right tools probably is why my ancient Tachikoma from my college days fell apart, tbh. I've also now finally got some super high grit sandpaper, so things will only look better and better, even without paint.
- Neither fitting into gender norms nor elevating war fantasies are unproblematic things; also, both hobbies fuel incredibly awkward capitalistic habits and probably use distressingly un-environmentalist materials (especially the nail polish). But fuck it, nothing in this world is truly unproblematic, and both of these hobbies have become self care. i will probably explore both of these in their own posts later. hmm.
- I also need to write a post filled with spoilers about my /actual/ IBO plot/character feelings, especially regarding the Turbines, who are the definition of "problematic fave" for me nowadays. I've found some people also watching on Twitter and Reddit, and (of all places) 4chan's /cm/ board isn't a bad place. But god almighty, I miss fandom Livejournal and a preponderance of good fanfiction, because I want to read ALL THE FANFIC AND HEADCANONS.