Title: Like You Mean It
Fandom: Smallville
Characters: Chloe Sullivan/Clark Kent
Prompt: 082. If
Word Count: 1561
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Making a move could change Chloe's life.
Author's Notes: It took me forever to figure out an ending for this, but I hope it satisfies. This has slight spoilers for "Reckoning", but only for about the first twenty minutes. Not a big deal, just a big "if" scenario. Enjoy!
***
"Do you ever wonder why we could never make it?" Chloe asked during one of the many lulls in her and Clark's conversation.
It was midnight and they were at The Daily Planet doing research for a homework assignment, of all things. She felt like the place was becoming her entire life, and she wasn't so sure that was a good thing.
Clark looked up at her from the stack of papers he had been shuffling through and frowned. "That's random," he said quietly, straightening the stack.
Chloe chewed on the end of her pen and stared at her computer screen. She suddenly wished the words in her head hadn't popped out of her mouth, but there wasn't anything she could do about it now.
He had gotten up from his chair and tossed the papers on her desk, taking a seat on the edge of it.
"You don't have to answer," she said. "It was a stupid thing to even say out loud."
He shrugged. "I wasn't willing to take the risk with you."
"You took it with her," Chloe pointed out. They had talked about Lana's death enough in the year since it had happened that she wasn't afraid to bring it up anymore.
"I never thought anything like that would happen. Now I know better. I couldn't... Nothing can happen to you, Chloe."
"Who says anything would happen?"
"My track record's not really stellar when it comes to getting involved with women who know my secret."
She stood up and came around the desk to stand between his legs. He looked apprehensive the moment before she kissed him, but she felt that if she didn't take one last shot, she would never be able to get past him. That was taking long enough like it was.
She pressed her lips to his, and her heart fell when she felt him resist.
He gently took her by the shoulders and pushed her far enough away that she couldn't continue.
"Gee, Clark, you sure know how to make a girl feel wanted. If this is about Lana, just say so."
"Chloe... This -" he gestured between them, "has never been about Lana."
Chloe cocked an eyebrow skeptically. "Well, I can't do this anymore, Clark. I have tried to be a good friend and a better confidante. But I've officially wasted too many years pining away for a guy that's never even kissed me properly. A guy that doesn't love me like I love him."
"I never said that," Clark countered.
"No, you never really have," she agreed, trying not to cry. She always cried, he always apologized, and they were always left at square one.
"Here's a novel idea," she said with a slight sniffle. "Kiss me like you mean it," she all but ordered.
"Chloe."
She knew she was being foolish, laying herself bare before him once again, but it seemed to be a compulsion she couldn't control. "One time, Clark. Kiss me for real, like you mean it. Not like you're shocked it's happening, or as if I had just assaulted you. Do it like you would if you loved me."
She doesn't know how easy that would be, he thought. His eyes were pleading with her to stop, but she refused to let it go.
"If you don't feel anything, that's it. We go back to being best friends and I'll move on. I'll find some non-amazing guy to date who won't break my heart. But you have to prove it to me, and you have to tell me the truth, okay?" Her eyes were glistening in the light of the lamps surrounding them, but she wouldn't let the tears fall.
He sighed. "Do you really want to do this, Chloe?" He was afraid to tell her the truth, and he figured no matter what he did he would end up hurting her. He always did.
After I've pathetically thrown myself at your feet? she quipped in her head. "Yes," she said simply, stepping forward. She was between his legs again, her thighs pressed against the desk, face to face.
Clark shifted slightly and put his hands on her waist. His heart was pounding and he could hear hers doing the same.
He slowly leaned in and gently took her lips. The kiss was so tender at first, a sob threatened to break free from her chest. His right hand slid up her body, underneath her hair, pulling her closer. He was doing everything she had asked and more, and for a few moments she could barely breathe or think.
He gave her several short, lingering kisses to help her catch her breath, before she felt his hand cup the back of her head and his tongue slipped between her lips, exploring her mouth in full.
She tasted like coffee and vanilla lip gloss, and he suddenly couldn't get enough of her.
Fire shot through every vein in her body and she began to tremble. Her arms wrapped around his neck as his hand dropped back to her waist, pulling her further in just when she thought there was no room between them.
Even as she responded, she was shocked by his passion, and a tiny part of her dared to hope it was real.
He kissed her until she was afraid she couldn't take anymore. She wanted him more than she ever had in her life, and she knew not only was that impossible, it was completely insane to even be thinking about him taking her on her desk at the Planet.
She tore herself away from his lips with every fiber of self-control in her being, but he still held her close. With every breath she was brushing against him, painfully aware of their proximity in every nerve ending.
"Is that what you wanted to know?" Clark asked, looking her straight in the eye.
"Clark, I..." She blinked back tears again, wanting nothing more than to bury her face in his chest and not have to look at him anymore.
He pushed her back slightly, slid off the desk, and pulled her back, flush against him. "Is this what you wanted to know?"
She looked completely startled as she realized he wanted her. She never thought things would go so far, but the proof was between them, she could feel it. Her mind was a blank slate, and she knew no amount of words or witticisms would be able to save her.
"Oh my God, Clark," she said softly, the tears finally falling. She felt like she was falling apart right there in his arms, and she hated herself for getting them into a situation that would be impossible to escape.
He cradled her face in his large hands and wiped her tears away with his thumbs. His secret was out, and he didn't know what to do next. "There's too much risk in being involved with me, Chloe. You know that."
"I do know that, Clark. Don't you see? It's worth the risk to be with you. It always has been, and that's why I've waited forever for you."
"I love you too much, and I thought I was protecting you." He watched as her eyes lit up at his words, and he was suddenly sorry he hadn't said them sooner.
"That didn't protect me. All it did was hurt me," she said, turning her face into his left hand. "Don't do that anymore, 'kay?" she mumbled into his palm before pulling away.
"I won't, Chloe, but some -"
She put her fingers against his lips. "No 'buts', Clark. This is about us. We can't live our lives in fear. I can't live my life in fear, especially not when it would be keeping me from the thing I've wanted most in the world. You."
"I never wanted to hurt you. I want to keep you safe because I realized quite awhile ago you're the one person I couldn't live without, Chloe. You always have been, and I could never see it. You're everything." He almost felt like he was drowning in his feelings they were pouring out so fast.
Chloe pulled his head down and kissed him long and hard. She rolled her eyes at his expression when she finally let him go. "You can't lose me, Clark. Too many people have tried and failed to knock me off this mortal coil, and it's sure as hell not happening now," she laughed. "I've waited too long to get where we are now."
"That's good to know. But I'm still protecting you at all costs."
She wrapped her arms around him tightly. "That's nothing new, Clark. You just have extra incentive now," she winked.
"I never needed it, but it's nice to have," he replied playfully. He kissed her deeply, but she ended it abruptly.
"I think we better get out of here," she said breathlessly. "Otherwise, I've got a fantasy that would leave people coming into work tomorrow morning wondering what exactly happened to this office," she said, one eyebrow raised suggestively.
Clark grinned. "That can probably be arranged somewhere else. If you want."
Chloe took his hand and practically dragged him out of the office. The evening was ending far better than even she could have ever dreamed.
Finis