Prince of Tennis: Ibu Shinji, 047: Heart
Title: Speechless
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Characters: Ibu Shinji, Ishida Tetsu, Kamio Akira, Masaya Sakurai
Prompt: 047: Heart
Word Count: 1,536
Rating: PG
Summary: Shinji’s first crush, first confession….
Author's Notes: Because everyone’s felt this before.
Main table can be found here
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Shinji didn’t understand it at first. And he wasn’t used to that feeling one bit.
Later, if he were to be honest with himself, Shinji had to admit that it had probably started the first time he had looked at Ishida. Something about Ishida’s eyes had drawn him in and held Shinji captive, almost. They made Shinji act in most uncharacteristic ways, even from the very beginning.
Shinji had thought nothing of it, of course. If he treated Ishida slightly differently than he did Akira, he reasoned, it made sense. Akira and Ishida were two very different people. Of course he would react to them in different ways.
That justification worked for about two years. After awhile, though, it became hard to explain that, while Kamio’s smile made Shinji feel good about himself, Ishida’s smile made him feel warm inside. It became hard to justify just why he would fall silent whenever Ishida spoke, why he would listen so carefully to that voice.
And it certainly didn’t explain why, when the two were playing a doubles match, Shinji not only insisted on playing back, but then missed some rather easy shots…because his eyes weren’t on the ball, but Ishida’s ass.
After a couple disastrous practice matches, Ishida went to talk to Kamio, leaving Shinji watch him walk away. He didn’t even notice someone come up behind him until the person spoke. “Looks like a certain someone has a crush on our power player….”
Shinji turned to look his teammate in the eye, his face as flat and expressionless as always. “What are you talking about now, Sakurai?”
“It’s obvious.” Sakurai began listing points on his fingers. “You watch him all the time, he distracts you, you’ve been going out of your way to be around him-look at you! You’re looking at him right now!”
It was true; Shinji had been watching Ishida move around the court, and he flushed slightly. “That still doesn’t prove anything. How can I have a crush on Ishida? He’s a friend, and he’s a guy. I thought you were supposed to have crushes on girls. But the girls here are very whiny. Except An-chan, but I can’t have crush on her because Akira likes her, but she’s the only decent girl. The guys are much better than the girls. Tetsu is more attractive than most of them, too. And nicer, and smarter…I think I like him a lot.” He looked at Sakurai, his eyes widening some in surprise. “I…think I have a crush on him….”
“That’s what I was trying to tell you.” Sakurai shook his head. “Look, at least try to be a little less obvious about it? Not everyone is cool with a guy liking another guy.” With that, Sakurai wandered off, and Shinji tried to put it out of his mind and just focus on tennis. Tennis, at least, made sense.
He found himself dwelling on it while he was walking him with Kamio, though. “Akira…do you think it’s wrong to like a boy?”
Kamio stopped in his tracks. “Shinji? What brought that on?” He took a closer look at his friend and realized, for the first time, what a rather…pretty boy Shinji was. “Was someone hitting on you today?” he asked suspiciously, preparing himself to kick some ass if need be.
“What? No, of course not, Akira. Don’t be silly.” Shinji started walking again, and Kamio was forced to follow along.
“Oh. Well…why did you ask, then?” Kamio was puzzled. Was this just another one of Shinji’s random comments, or what?
“Sakurai says that I have a crush on Tetsu, and I think he may be right.”
For the second time in such a short amount of time, Kamio stopped short. “You--what?” he demanded, grabbing Shinji’s wrist and dragging him to a halt. “Say that again?”
“I have a crush on Tetsu. I…like him.” The more Shinji said it, the more natural it sounded to him, as if he had known it all along, he just hadn’t known the right words to match to the feeling. “Does that bother you, Akira? I don’t want to upset you, and I don’t want to lose my best friend to this, even though your eyes don’t make me tingle. You still mean a lot to me, and if you can’t be my friend over this, I’ll stop liking him….”
Kamio sighed. “Shinji. Of course I don’t mind. You can like whoever you want…as long as it isn’t me, because I don’t swing that way.”
“I don’t think I could like you like, Akira. You’re not my type.”
Rather than pursue that, Kamio asked instead, “What are you going to do now?”
Shinji shrugged. “Tell him, I guess.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
It took Shinji a week to get up the nerve to approach Ishida.
Not that Shinji was nervous, of course not. He spent most of that week watching other people confess to their crushes, trying to decide how it would be best to tell Ishida his feelings. A letter was seriously debated, as well as calling him out under some trees, but Shinji ended up dismissing those ideas. That wasn’t him, and he figured that if Ishida did like him back, then the method of telling wouldn’t change that one way or another.
The only thing Shinji did agree with that he had observed was privacy. He didn’t want to share his feelings around a lot of people. There were only two people he really could show his feelings to, and that wasn’t going to change anytime soon.
So the only thing left was to find the right time
His opportunity came when Shinji and Ishida were alone in Ishida’s room, studying. Kamio had to go home, so it was just the two of them and their books. Already, Shinji had been spending more time watching Ishida than working, and Ishida was noticing this. Putting down his pencil, he turned to look at Shinji. “Is there something up?”
Shinji blinked twice. “Tetsu. I like you.”
“Well…of course you do. Ishida shook his head. “I like you too, Shinji. We’re friends.” He started to go back to his literature homework.
“No. I don’t like you like that. I mean, I do, but that’s not the only way I like you. I really like you.” For someone so smart, Shinji was fumbling for words, and he hated that feeling. “I mean….” He sighed. “This is hopeless. I can’t tell you what I mean.”
With that, Shinji leaned in and kissed a surprised Ishida square on the lips.
The contact remained for several long moments before Ishida finally turned away. Gathering up his books, he cleared his throat. “I…just remembered something that I have to do. I think you better go home now.”
Shinji stared at Ishida. “Go home? But…what about…?”
“Please.” Ishida was almost begging. “I…go home, Ibu-kun.”
Silent for once, Shinji gathered up his books and left.
His walk home was silent. He didn’t say a word to his family, just closed himself up in his room and curled up on the bed.
Until a week ago, Shinji hadn’t known what a crush was, in practice. And until that afternoon, he hadn’t known what a broken heart was, either.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Shinji’s silence lasted for three days.
Caught in the middle, between Shinji’s quiet and Ishida’s discomfort, it didn’t take Kamio long to work out just what had happened. Knowing that approaching Shinji in one of his moods was less than useless, Kamio cornered Ishida after practice, leaving Shinji to go home alone. “All right. Just what the hell happened to you two?”
Ishida looked at the ground. “It’s none of your concern, Akira.”
Kamio looked at him levelly. “Shinji told you, didn’t he?” It wasn’t really a question.
“You knew?” Ishida looked shocked. “I didn’t think it was common knowledge…I didn’t want anyone to know…it’s….”
Kamio’s temper rose to the surface and he growled softly. “Yes, he told me. He’s my friend. And I support his feelings. I can see that you don’t care.”
“It’s not like that!” Ishida shook his head. “It’s just…he kissed me, and I like him, but I don’t like him, and I couldn’t tell him that, so I just told him to go home….”
“And Shinji didn’t just feel like his feelings had been rejected. He felt like you rejected him. And I don’t blame him for thinking that.” Kamio turned away, disgusted.
“But I don’t!” Ishida looked miserable. “I still want to be his friend. I just can’t…not what he wants. I can’t.”
“Don’t tell me that.” Kamio pointed to the school’s gates. “Tell him.”
Ishida ran.
*~*~*~*~*~*
What passed between Ishida and Shinji, no one ever knew because they never told a soul, not even Kamio. Ultimately, though, their friendship became closer than ever.
Shinji’s eyes might have been wistful sometimes, while looking at Ishida. But he covered it up so well that no one noticed, not even Kamio or Ishida. No one who knew Shinji saw any change in him at all, actually.
But inside Shinji, so deep inside that he didn’t even realize it then, the loneliness that had been banished when he met Kamio started to creep back into him.
--The End--
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Characters: Ibu Shinji, Ishida Tetsu, Kamio Akira, Masaya Sakurai
Prompt: 047: Heart
Word Count: 1,536
Rating: PG
Summary: Shinji’s first crush, first confession….
Author's Notes: Because everyone’s felt this before.
Main table can be found here
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Shinji didn’t understand it at first. And he wasn’t used to that feeling one bit.
Later, if he were to be honest with himself, Shinji had to admit that it had probably started the first time he had looked at Ishida. Something about Ishida’s eyes had drawn him in and held Shinji captive, almost. They made Shinji act in most uncharacteristic ways, even from the very beginning.
Shinji had thought nothing of it, of course. If he treated Ishida slightly differently than he did Akira, he reasoned, it made sense. Akira and Ishida were two very different people. Of course he would react to them in different ways.
That justification worked for about two years. After awhile, though, it became hard to explain that, while Kamio’s smile made Shinji feel good about himself, Ishida’s smile made him feel warm inside. It became hard to justify just why he would fall silent whenever Ishida spoke, why he would listen so carefully to that voice.
And it certainly didn’t explain why, when the two were playing a doubles match, Shinji not only insisted on playing back, but then missed some rather easy shots…because his eyes weren’t on the ball, but Ishida’s ass.
After a couple disastrous practice matches, Ishida went to talk to Kamio, leaving Shinji watch him walk away. He didn’t even notice someone come up behind him until the person spoke. “Looks like a certain someone has a crush on our power player….”
Shinji turned to look his teammate in the eye, his face as flat and expressionless as always. “What are you talking about now, Sakurai?”
“It’s obvious.” Sakurai began listing points on his fingers. “You watch him all the time, he distracts you, you’ve been going out of your way to be around him-look at you! You’re looking at him right now!”
It was true; Shinji had been watching Ishida move around the court, and he flushed slightly. “That still doesn’t prove anything. How can I have a crush on Ishida? He’s a friend, and he’s a guy. I thought you were supposed to have crushes on girls. But the girls here are very whiny. Except An-chan, but I can’t have crush on her because Akira likes her, but she’s the only decent girl. The guys are much better than the girls. Tetsu is more attractive than most of them, too. And nicer, and smarter…I think I like him a lot.” He looked at Sakurai, his eyes widening some in surprise. “I…think I have a crush on him….”
“That’s what I was trying to tell you.” Sakurai shook his head. “Look, at least try to be a little less obvious about it? Not everyone is cool with a guy liking another guy.” With that, Sakurai wandered off, and Shinji tried to put it out of his mind and just focus on tennis. Tennis, at least, made sense.
He found himself dwelling on it while he was walking him with Kamio, though. “Akira…do you think it’s wrong to like a boy?”
Kamio stopped in his tracks. “Shinji? What brought that on?” He took a closer look at his friend and realized, for the first time, what a rather…pretty boy Shinji was. “Was someone hitting on you today?” he asked suspiciously, preparing himself to kick some ass if need be.
“What? No, of course not, Akira. Don’t be silly.” Shinji started walking again, and Kamio was forced to follow along.
“Oh. Well…why did you ask, then?” Kamio was puzzled. Was this just another one of Shinji’s random comments, or what?
“Sakurai says that I have a crush on Tetsu, and I think he may be right.”
For the second time in such a short amount of time, Kamio stopped short. “You--what?” he demanded, grabbing Shinji’s wrist and dragging him to a halt. “Say that again?”
“I have a crush on Tetsu. I…like him.” The more Shinji said it, the more natural it sounded to him, as if he had known it all along, he just hadn’t known the right words to match to the feeling. “Does that bother you, Akira? I don’t want to upset you, and I don’t want to lose my best friend to this, even though your eyes don’t make me tingle. You still mean a lot to me, and if you can’t be my friend over this, I’ll stop liking him….”
Kamio sighed. “Shinji. Of course I don’t mind. You can like whoever you want…as long as it isn’t me, because I don’t swing that way.”
“I don’t think I could like you like, Akira. You’re not my type.”
Rather than pursue that, Kamio asked instead, “What are you going to do now?”
Shinji shrugged. “Tell him, I guess.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
It took Shinji a week to get up the nerve to approach Ishida.
Not that Shinji was nervous, of course not. He spent most of that week watching other people confess to their crushes, trying to decide how it would be best to tell Ishida his feelings. A letter was seriously debated, as well as calling him out under some trees, but Shinji ended up dismissing those ideas. That wasn’t him, and he figured that if Ishida did like him back, then the method of telling wouldn’t change that one way or another.
The only thing Shinji did agree with that he had observed was privacy. He didn’t want to share his feelings around a lot of people. There were only two people he really could show his feelings to, and that wasn’t going to change anytime soon.
So the only thing left was to find the right time
His opportunity came when Shinji and Ishida were alone in Ishida’s room, studying. Kamio had to go home, so it was just the two of them and their books. Already, Shinji had been spending more time watching Ishida than working, and Ishida was noticing this. Putting down his pencil, he turned to look at Shinji. “Is there something up?”
Shinji blinked twice. “Tetsu. I like you.”
“Well…of course you do. Ishida shook his head. “I like you too, Shinji. We’re friends.” He started to go back to his literature homework.
“No. I don’t like you like that. I mean, I do, but that’s not the only way I like you. I really like you.” For someone so smart, Shinji was fumbling for words, and he hated that feeling. “I mean….” He sighed. “This is hopeless. I can’t tell you what I mean.”
With that, Shinji leaned in and kissed a surprised Ishida square on the lips.
The contact remained for several long moments before Ishida finally turned away. Gathering up his books, he cleared his throat. “I…just remembered something that I have to do. I think you better go home now.”
Shinji stared at Ishida. “Go home? But…what about…?”
“Please.” Ishida was almost begging. “I…go home, Ibu-kun.”
Silent for once, Shinji gathered up his books and left.
His walk home was silent. He didn’t say a word to his family, just closed himself up in his room and curled up on the bed.
Until a week ago, Shinji hadn’t known what a crush was, in practice. And until that afternoon, he hadn’t known what a broken heart was, either.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Shinji’s silence lasted for three days.
Caught in the middle, between Shinji’s quiet and Ishida’s discomfort, it didn’t take Kamio long to work out just what had happened. Knowing that approaching Shinji in one of his moods was less than useless, Kamio cornered Ishida after practice, leaving Shinji to go home alone. “All right. Just what the hell happened to you two?”
Ishida looked at the ground. “It’s none of your concern, Akira.”
Kamio looked at him levelly. “Shinji told you, didn’t he?” It wasn’t really a question.
“You knew?” Ishida looked shocked. “I didn’t think it was common knowledge…I didn’t want anyone to know…it’s….”
Kamio’s temper rose to the surface and he growled softly. “Yes, he told me. He’s my friend. And I support his feelings. I can see that you don’t care.”
“It’s not like that!” Ishida shook his head. “It’s just…he kissed me, and I like him, but I don’t like him, and I couldn’t tell him that, so I just told him to go home….”
“And Shinji didn’t just feel like his feelings had been rejected. He felt like you rejected him. And I don’t blame him for thinking that.” Kamio turned away, disgusted.
“But I don’t!” Ishida looked miserable. “I still want to be his friend. I just can’t…not what he wants. I can’t.”
“Don’t tell me that.” Kamio pointed to the school’s gates. “Tell him.”
Ishida ran.
*~*~*~*~*~*
What passed between Ishida and Shinji, no one ever knew because they never told a soul, not even Kamio. Ultimately, though, their friendship became closer than ever.
Shinji’s eyes might have been wistful sometimes, while looking at Ishida. But he covered it up so well that no one noticed, not even Kamio or Ishida. No one who knew Shinji saw any change in him at all, actually.
But inside Shinji, so deep inside that he didn’t even realize it then, the loneliness that had been banished when he met Kamio started to creep back into him.
--The End--