It just came to mee thaaat I go sort of opposite from you, but it still isn't really good or productive. In generaaal, I'm able to stay feeling pretty good toward people, because I knoww I've been fortunate, blessed, whatever you should choose to call it. Then something negative might creep in, and it can totally blow away the good feelings. I'm not proud of that, I know I should be better and not get caught by things, thus destroying other good in my life. I used to have this frozen sort of anger/hurt that made me lash out. That hasn't surfaced in a long time, butthe full on, joyous thing hass subsided too. If thaaat's part of becoming mature, I'm not sure I want to mature.
I used to have this frozen sort of anger/hurt that made me lash out. I am probably in this phase or just starting to come out of this. Except with me, lashing out is usually replaced by silence or looking meanly back for a second.
I guess as we grow up there are more to worry about and cannot stay care-free as we did in our childhood.
Yes, I agree that these things won't matter in a 100 years, but they matter to you now-in the present. From what I know of you, I'd say you accomplished a lot in your life and that goes a long way to having self-respect. It's hard to stop comparing yourself to other people around you, but that's human nature. And despite everything, you do keep trying. Yes, I firmly believe you are trying.
I think I realized something very important just then. For all of those things that I don't want to, need to, scared of doing, even if there is no apparent benefit to anyone, remember this, you are doing them so you could live with yourself, like yourself a bit, for self-respect and possibly personal growth, which hopefully one day will translate to benefit to other people too.There is a lot of truth in that. Do what is right for you because you are the one who has to live with yourself. I'm glad you posted an update to that post you linked in the first paragraph. It shows how much your perspective on a few things has changed-and for the better, in
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This was what I consider one of my most important journal entries, so I was hoping and looking forward to what you would say. Thank you for your support and sharing your views with me.
From what I know of you, I'd say you accomplished a lot in your life and that goes a long way to having self-respect. Actually, others have told me something similar before, and I have always felt there is very little I have accomplished in my life (donated some money, helped some people out with work and school, the end). *wry smile* Please don't give me examples since my mind cannot be changed on this.
I don't compare myself to other people a lot as well. It's usually not being able to live up to my own standards/expectations of myself that get me down the most.
It shows how much your perspective on a few things has changed-and for the better, in my opinion. *hugs* Sorry to be such a downer, but I am still doggedly hanging onto the idea that ultimately, there is nothing really that make me want to stay alive (it's just that I can't be dead now).
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I used to have this frozen sort of anger/hurt that made me lash out. That hasn't surfaced in a long time, butthe full on, joyous thing hass subsided too. If thaaat's part of becoming mature, I'm not sure I want to mature.
Okay, that's it for introspection from me.
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I am probably in this phase or just starting to come out of this. Except with me, lashing out is usually replaced by silence or looking meanly back for a second.
I guess as we grow up there are more to worry about and cannot stay care-free as we did in our childhood.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Ash!
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What is your icon trying to say?
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I think I realized something very important just then. For all of those things that I don't want to, need to, scared of doing, even if there is no apparent benefit to anyone, remember this, you are doing them so you could live with yourself, like yourself a bit, for self-respect and possibly personal growth, which hopefully one day will translate to benefit to other people too.There is a lot of truth in that. Do what is right for you because you are the one who has to live with yourself. I'm glad you posted an update to that post you linked in the first paragraph. It shows how much your perspective on a few things has changed-and for the better, in ( ... )
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From what I know of you, I'd say you accomplished a lot in your life and that goes a long way to having self-respect.
Actually, others have told me something similar before, and I have always felt there is very little I have accomplished in my life (donated some money, helped some people out with work and school, the end). *wry smile* Please don't give me examples since my mind cannot be changed on this.
I don't compare myself to other people a lot as well. It's usually not being able to live up to my own standards/expectations of myself that get me down the most.
It shows how much your perspective on a few things has changed-and for the better, in my opinion. *hugs* Sorry to be such a downer, but I am still doggedly hanging onto the idea that ultimately, there is nothing really that make me want to stay alive (it's just that I can't be dead now). ( ... )
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