Heavenly: Chapter 3
Chapter 3: The Public and The Lover
Morning has arrived; they all haven’t slept a wink. It’s understandable, they dread today, the day everyone will know about my death. Aside from my family and NEWS, they only people who know are the detectives and one worker from the funeral home. They understand, of course, that my parents and NEWS would like some privacy and time before informing the public, even the Jimusho about this. They still sit still in the waiting room in the funeral home and I’m with them. I’m imagining holding Ryo’s hand when in reality I’m still trying to grasp it.
“I’m getting food for everyone. I’m sure we will need all the energy we can get for today.” To say I am shocked is an understatement. Tegoshi, the self-centered member of NEWS, getting everyone food? Just out of curiosity, since I am naturally a curious being, I followed him. When we got to a sure distance, Tegoshi spoke up. “
You’re watching us, ne, Shige?” Is he talking to me? “I saw you trying to hold Ryo-tan’s hands a while ago.” So he is talking to me.
‘Tegoshi, you can see me?’ Great, Shige, that was a stupid question, and they even call you a prodigy.
“Yeah.” Came a short reply.
‘I’ve been trying to make Ryo see me. But only you and Koyama saw me. Why?’ I’m getting frustrated.
“I should really get some food.” He must be getting scared. Who wouldn’t be, when you see your dead bandmate in front of you, ranting like nothing has changed?
‘Tegoshi.’ I called, he stopped. ‘I’m sorry. Don’t be scared. I’ll keep watching over you guys, okay?’ He nods, then smiles. Contrary to popular belief, Tegoshi can be a little ball of sunshine too, not as big as Massu, no puns intended. He smiles at seemingly random times, whether serious or just plain random, that smile brings happiness to my heart.
‘Thank you for everything. Take care of everyone, okay?’ I said before disappearing, leaving Tegoshi, NEWS’s baby, sobbing silently.
He came back to the waiting room with gyoza, rice and hot coffee for everyone. They: Tegoshi, Massu, and Koyama, forced everyone to eat, saying I would want them to eat properly. That prompts Ryo to shovel food down his throat. *Sigh* At least he’s eating. I can feel my parents feel gratefulness toward NEWS. My mother suddenly spoke up. I know what’s coming.
“My son is lucky he has friends like you. And I know that wherever he is now, he is happy, and he is watching over us. Shigeaki, if you hear me, I want to feel you here.” I guess I have no choice. I want to reassure them. I make myself touch, graze my parents’ faces and arms, to make them feel me.
“You are here.” Ryo looks up at that. ‘I love you, Shigeaki. We will miss you very much.”
‘I’ll miss you too. I love you.’ I whispered these words to my parents before going back to heaven. We all know what’s to come.
The news breaks that I’m dead by midday and all media personnel wants an interview with NEWS, my parents or the detectives. I’m standing in the middle of Shibuya now, near the place where I was murdered. There’s a big screen in front of me, reporting my death. It’s utter chaos from there. A girl in front of me suddenly burst into tears. I guess she’s a fan. After her, about 10 more girls burst into tears. I have this much fans? I’m baffled. I guess I’m not to unpopular, huh? The screen is now showing the other members. They’re holding a press conference now. The remaining members of NEWS is occupying the seats on stage but almost all Johnny’s groups are in the room, standing at the back and at the sides. I transport myself to the room. There are a lot of people. I decide to go back to my heaven for now. The press conference will last about 3 hours. I’ll take a nap first to regenerate my energy. Yes, we still need energy to go through the day, thank you very much. It’s like living on Earth, but not on Earth. I’m not making sense again. DARN!
I woke up and immediately hear breaking of glass. I look down and see Ryo. He’s breaking the plates and glasses in our apartment. I hurriedly stood beside him and tried to stop him. What I was expecting is I go through his form again, but this time I am able to touch him. He stopped too, frozen, suddenly feeling cold. I stopped too, not expecting this feeling to overwhelm me. I touched him, not graze, but touch. He then turned his head to look at me and what I saw in his eyes broke my heart to a million pieces. Hopelessness, despair, grief, loneliness, and all those emotions mixed together. I touch his face.
“Shige? Is that you?” He says, also reaching out his hand. “You’re cold.” He said.
‘Of course I’m cold, stupid. I’m dead, remember?’ He froze upon remembering.
“You left me.”
‘I never left you, Ryo. I still continued to watch you.’
“Who killed you? I’ll hunt him down and kill him too.”
‘It’s no use. He’s gone now. What you need is sleep.’ Leaving the chaos called out living room, I drag him to our bedroom.
“I don’t want to sleep.”
‘And why not?’
“I’m afraid that if I sleep, you won’t be here anymore.” I felt something melt inside me as he said those words, looking at me with the most loving eyes.
‘Ryo, listen to me. I’ll always be here, with you, in here.’ I point to his heart. ‘Even if I’m not physically here, always remember that I will be watching, forever.’ And as I said those words, I kiss his lips and tried to stay visible until he falls asleep. ‘I love you, always and forever.’
I leave our shared apartment and walk around. Everywhere, the talk is about the murdered idol, the broken group and all those crap. I transported to the Jimusho to look around. What I see is beyond my comprehension. The once happy place, full of Juniors running around, giving looks of respect to sempais, is now an almost ghost town. Yes, there are people walking around, but I can see sadness, feel sadness lurking every corner of the building. Even Johnny-san’s office is quiet. I decide to walk around Tokyo and can feel, almost feel the grief and mourning enveloping the teenagers. Even older people are weary because it could have been them, it could have been their children, grandchildren, nephews, nieces, and cousins, who was murdered in that dark alley in Shibuya. As I go back to heaven, I can feel the sadness settling itself in my heart, they finally know.