(no subject)
I'm not really sure how to apologize for this one. I'm not really sure if I CAN apologize for this one. I've been thinking on it for weeks now and I can't think of finding a way of wording it that-- correctly conveys how shitty I feel in regards to having been such a-- a point-blank bad friend WITHOUT throwing a bunch of excuses in there and without space hearting. If our Rp taught me anything, it's that apologies only mean so much. To the point where, points where I REALLY want to make a sincere apology... I don't know how to.
Maybe that's why my next alternative is to want to do something, to create something, as an apology gift. "I wrote you this story. It is my first time writing this pairing. I feel really shitty for not stepping up, for not speaking up, for not realizing what I -could- do until it was too late, and I channeled that into doing something special for you."
I don't know. Maybe part of it is me wanting to show that I tried to put effort into an apology, that I wanted to spend time on something to show that I put thought behind it.
And maybe I'm just being ridiculous.
In the end, I am kind of glad I've started ljing again. I forgot how it helps me to write my thought process out.
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