Walton Goggins - an Informative (and Mildly Obsessive) Picspam
It all began with me being struck by the awesome that is Boyd Crowder in the pilot of Justified. Being a mildly obsessive person, I couldn't let it end there. Now, some time later, I've decided to make a picspam that would help people see the light.
There are two central messages to this picspam.
The first message is: HOLY SHIT WALTON GOGGINS IS A FANTASTIC FUCKING ACTOR.
The second one is: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH CRUSHING ON WALTON GOGGINS.
I promise.
Also, 'Walton Goggins' is kinda fun to type out.
Anyway, this is sort of a guide to the guy's work thus far -- it's by no means comprehensive, but I do think I've covered most of the important stuff, and it's meant to help the beginner fan, or anybody who's a little bit interested in the guy.
Don't expect it to be super-coherent or anything. Dammit, Jim, it's a picspam, not a meta piece!
So here we go!
MOVIES
The Cherokee Kid
I'm not actually entirely sure what this film is. I think it's a western comedy? For HBO? Starring a guy named Sinbad? Surely a timeless masterpiece. Anyway, Walton appears for about 5 minutes as this handsome sonofabitch, a leader (or at least the most outspoken member) of an outlaw gang. He impatiently tries to rob a bank and, alas, fails.
Should I Watch It?
I have no idea. If you want cowboy Walton, Shanghai Noon might be a better bet. Or better yet, there's Cowboys & Aliens on the horizon!
The Apostle
I feel that I would have better appreciation for this movie if I wasn't a Jewish agnostic. As it is, it's a little too... Jesus-y for me, I guess, and I prefer Boyd Crowder's approach to religion, personally. But it's still a good movie. Walton plays Sam, a quiet and sweet mechanic who befriends the main character (Robert Duvall). He is, in a word, adorable. In two words, friggin' adorable. It's probably his first real movie appearance - his biggest break before the Shield came along - and he does an awesome, emotional job.
Should I Watch It?
Yeah. It's worth watching, and Walton's role, while not very big, is crucial.
Major League: Back to the Minors
It's a baseball movie. /Captain Obvious mode A silly baseball comedy THREEQUEL, to be precise, and my knowledge of baseball is about on par with my Jesus knowledge. I just watched the Walton parts - he plays the cocky young homerun-hitter, sort of the straight man in a group of facepalm-inducing misfits, and gets to learn the value of teamwork and the importance of swinging sleeveless. Like so:
Should I Watch It?
I'd say no, though I do approve of the baseball uniform. And of other such baseball related things. Also, Kenny Johnson appears as a baseball ballerina (don't ask)!
Red Dirt
Walton's gay movie! He plays a charismatic drifter. Who is gay. And has deep manly emotions. And is kinda brutally hot. That's… honestly all I can say about this movie. I kept getting distracted by the pretty.
There is also a scene of undeniable importance that deserves special mention:
But let's not get carried away here. This is a classy picspam, after all.
Should I Watch It?
Judge by the caps. Walton's great in it, everything else, pretty mediocre. Feel free to watch for the eye candy. I won't judge.
The Crow: Salvation
The title should roughly tell you the quality of the movie. I shouldn't, since it's another one where I only watched the Walton parts. And oh yeah, in case the caps aren't telling, he's a BAD GUY!! No, really. A bad evil corrupt cop guy who's into stabbing, rape, and smoking. He even shares an evil cigarette with Tim DeKay, that's how evil he is. Oh, and he throws somebody out a window.
You go, Walton!
What else? Well, to keep himself from getting bored, he wears an epic (EPIC) tie, channels Steve Buscemi at his most manic (and throws in a Joker smile for good measure). Judging by the outfit, he probably wishes he was in a better movie, like Tim Burton's Batman.
Should I Watch It?
Uh, no. Probably not. Unless you really wanna see Eric Mabius in highly questionable Goth makeup.
Shanghai Noon
I watched this one a long time ago, and I recall enjoying it, but the rewatch was solely Walton-oriented. Which means the first 10 Owen Wilson minutes and the last 5, pretty much. Walton is the Texan n00b in Owen Wilson's outlaw gang. He's also the loose cannon and a minor bad guy. Surprise! He gets to be shouty (and thus put a cramp in Owen Wilson's train robbing style), kill Jackie Chan's uncle ("I was winging it!"), lose his winging it privileges, and use some real slick hair gel. As you can see, his teeth get some serious screentime in this one, and he's got a real GQ mustache goin' on!
Stay classy, you Wild West metrosexual you!
Don't know about you, but I kinda love this guy.
Should I Watch It?
For Walton? Nah, too small a part. For Owen Wilson, Jackie Chan and their bromantic love? Sure, why not.
House of 1000 Corpses
Watched it about halfway through (enough to witness Dwight from the Office meet a pretty macabre fate). I'm not really into torture porn as a genre, though I do appreciate the dark humor. As for Walton, he gets to make some adorable expressions, exhibit some clown-intolerance and canine-phobia, and end up on his knees. Not in a fun way.
Should I Watch It?
If it's your kinda thing, I suppose. Even then, the Devil's Rejects is a better movie. Walton's part is small but cute. Well, cute in a horror movie redshirt sorta way.
Apple Jack
This is a short (really short, like 15 minutes) film in which Walton plays an escaped convict (possibly a predecessor of his Predators character). I watched it for the prison uniform. And the hilariously bad teeth.
Cuuute! Also, you might recognize the guy playing his brother from Deadwood and Justified.
Should I Watch It?
It's 15 minutes and pretty nifty ones at that, so I don't see why not.
Randy and the Mob
Ray McKinnon is Randy, Walton is the Mob. Walt plays very much against type in this one -- Tino is like a Southern robot/alien mob barbie (look at all the pretty outfits!). He is also many different shades of amazing. A gay Tim DeKay calls him hot! Which makes me suspect that evil cigarette they shared in The Crow: Salvation may have been symbolic.
Tino is also a walking-talking-clogging-football-playing animated GIF. Let me demonstrate:
Should I Watch It?
Oh yeah. It's a quirky Southern comedy -- not exactly a remarkable movie, but it's fun and unique, and Walton shamelessly steals it.
Damage
Now, just so we're clear here, this is a movie about Stone Cold Austin beating up dudes and having some kinda stoic emotional journey. Walton is pretty prominent, though, as his selfish, unlucky, lowlifeish-in-a-likeable-sorta-way fighting promoter. He gets beaten up a lot (that should come as no surprise to any Walton fan). He's even got some hidden depths! He's also got a sorta-girlfriend (she and Walton are the two major supporting characters), but their relationship doesn't seem all that romantic/sexual, and I spend some time honestly trying to figure out if he's supposed to be gay or asexual or what. His character has this weird social awkwardness that I really liked. The movie ends on a platonic OT3 note, and I was down with that.
Walton's wardrobe is, not for the first time, the star of the movie.
Should I Watch It?
Y'know, I wouldn't exactly recommend it, but I wouldn't say no. I found it surprisingly watchable. There are over the top fight scenes and there's Walton pimpin' it up. Nothing about it horribly offensive, so really, why not?
Okay, so he was also in the fourth godawful Karate Kid flick as a tight t-shirt wearing flunky, and in Switchback as a… Sheriff's deputy, I believe? This doesn't actually warrant a full description, but have some Walton being cute in a cowboy hat!
Predators
I haven't actually watched the original Predator (I'm more of an Aliens girl, or more of a Terminator girl if Arnie is required), but this I'm kinda excited for. And it's coming out this weekend! In the US, anyhow. We haven't even gotten a release date in this here holy land. *cries*
Walton Goggins was cast as tattoo-covered, feral Walter Stans, a serial killer who thinks of himself as a rock star. "Walt has an energy that allows him to be funny in one moment, terrifying in the next," says Antal. "You're laughing with him and then you're afraid of him. Every time Walt was on camera, all I could see was the crew slowly coming behind the monitors to watch him play. You don't need coffee if you have Walt Goggins."
"Stans has spent sixteen years on death row," explains Goggins. "The first images that he sees outside of a prison cell of an alien jungle are just a little over-stimulating for him. He fancies himself the only celebrity on this new planet of terror and thinks that people should be asking him for his autograph. He's dark, but also I think rather funny and pessimistic."
What I'm reading here is ADORABLE PSYCHO COMIC RELIEF. Hell. Yeah.
I also have it on pretty good authority that even though he's sporting an orange jumpsuit, he is not, in fact, a redshirt.
Here's the trailer:
Click to viewPredators aside, Walton is also set to play an outlaw (so says Word of God) in Cowboys & Aliens (which's got the craziest cast of the decade, pretty much), coming out next year.
Typecasting, you say? WHO CARES, BRING IT ON!!!
TV
This section will cover a few of Walton's guest appearances before we move on to serious business (i.e. The Shield and Justified).
In The Heat of the Night, "Crackdown"
EEEE BABY WALTON IN ONE OF THE WORST SHOWS I HAVE EVER SEEN. Or maybe it was just a particularly painful episode, I don't know, but I still feel the dent the anvil left on my brain. Baby Walton plays a baby drug dealer, and a flunky of his later-to-be-BFF Ray McKinnon! He gets shot by a cop who SUSPECTS HIM OF DEALING. Dude, Vic Mackey wouldn't get away with this shit. Also, he gets threatened with juvie rape and spends the whole episode being suspiciously shiny (Cylon?). I think what we're meant to learn here is that DRUGS ARE BAD, but like with all things Jesus-related, I prefer to get my anti-drug message from Boyd Crowder.
Should I Watch It?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ha. Ha. I could go on.
Beverly Hills 90210, "The Pit and the Pendulum"
Ahh, how I used to hate this show as a kid, not having seen a single episode. I was just ideologically opposed to it, I suppose. Anyway, Walton has a 2-minute role as a frat boy in blue. He gets to do a :o face and bark like a seal.
Should I Watch It?
I could never in good conscience recommend this show and expect to live with my inner 90210-hating child. But you might wanna check it out for the lulz.
Renegade, "Wheel Man"
Now here's a show I can almost get properly nostalgic about! Trashy 90s camp FTW. I used to watch reruns when there was nothing better on (such as A-Team reruns *__*). Walton plays a cocky race car driver who moonlights as a getaway driver. He attempts to punch Lorenzo Lamas several times and fails miserably. Basically, he's there to prove how much awesomer Lorenzo Lamas is at everything (except shirtlessness; sadly, only Lorenzo Lamas gets to be shirtless, otherwise it would've been a much better show). It's a little embarrassing to watch, especially considering it's Lorenzo Lamas.
BUT WHERE'S WALTON AND WHERE ARE YOU NOW, LORENZO LAMAS? HUH?
<_<
>_>
DAMN RIGHT.
Should I Watch It?
If you wanna laugh/cringe at the embarrassing parts and squee at the babyface.
The Sentinel, "True Crime"
Wow, will you look at that. Walton playing another cocky criminal type! I've lost count of all the loose cannon bank robbers and such. Anyway, here he gets to wear a totally believable wig, jump out of a trashcan and get manhandled by… the main Sentinel guy. Jim, I think? At first he's like OH I'M TOO COOL TO GET A LAWYER (the cocky thing is kinda hot, I admit) but then he's like ;____; HALP HALP CAN HAS LAWYER? And look at him, poor bb, crying for a better role.
Hang in there, Walton! Only 6 years until the Shield comes along!
Should I Watch It?
These early roles of his are so interchangeable that you can just watch one of them to watch them all.
Criminal Minds, "Demonology"
OMG, Walton on a show with 'criminal' in the title, NOT playing a criminal! Totally radical. And mindblowing. Etc. I have flisters who know more about this show, but what I've gathered is that Walton plays Prentiss' childhood friend/more-than-friend. There is… an exorcism scene and he even gets a nice little hurt/comfort moment! Did I mention he's not a bad guy?
Should I Watch It?
Eh, if you're already watching Criminal Minds. Otherwise, no pressing need.
THE SHIELD
Also known as CLETUS VAN DAMME!
The Shield is a cop show, but it's much, much more than that, so if you have a cop show phobia (I'm not terribly fond of them myself), be aware that it's more serialized drama than procedural, sort of like the Wire.
The whole cast (but especially that Walton guy) is awesome.
So let's talk about Shane!
Shane squints when he lies. Look at him, being all truthful and non-squintful!
Shane fails at poker but wins at eyerolling. And expressions in general.
Such as his Rain Man expression.
Mirror mirror on the wall, who's got the awesomest ass of all?
He's not actually Gaston though, I promise.
He does love his cock, however.
Y'know, with some people, I'd consider that boasting, but with Shane, I'm fully convinced that he went through the trouble of measuring.
Shane also loves Vic Mackey.
No, seriously. They even reference it on the show as MAD LOVE. Sadly, as amazingly slashy as they can get, you will almost definitely regret shipping it. I know I did.
Shane's got some interesting interrogation techniques.
That occasionally get him into trouble.
Shane is a natural born undercover cumguzzler.
Shane: Hold the phone there, dollface. You got me on salami patrol? How about one of these guys?
Trish: Oh, they don’t look gay enough.
Let me transcribe a small part of the commentary for this scene:
Kenny Johnson: Oh buddy. Walton was in the tanning booth. Look at the arched back, I love it. He’s gonna roll towards camera before he goes the other way.
David Rees Snell: How many times have you watched this, Kenny?
There's no educational moment here. I just highly approve of the white shirt.
Let's have us some bulletproof vest appreciation!
And SKINNY JEANS appreciation, for that matter (Cathy Ryan mentions on a commentary track that Walton wears the same size jeans as she does - 27).
Also, Walton's legs are AWESOME. Just sayin'. I once saw a TWoP poster describe him as 'All teeth and feet. And Awesome.' It struck me as very accurate.
Emotional Shane is emotional.
And pretty.
Shane's a woobie. A jerkass woobie, but most definitely a woobie.
PRETTY COLORS (also, he occasionally looks a bit like Michael Westen)!
Shane is a self-destructive mess.
And all GIF'ed up:
For the purpose of possibly RPing Shane one day, I made a few icons.
…Maybe more than a few.
The Shield
Okay, for serious now. Shane is initially something of a comic relief, id-driven jerk, but he gets what's probably the biggest (and most tragic) character arc on the show, and grows into a much more complex and damaged individual. He's kind of the perpetual child/teenager trying (and failing) to grow up, making horrible decisions and digging himself in deeper and deeper along the way. Depeche Mode's Wrong is my theme song for him (I've even considered making a vid, but I'm worried it'd be a more painful than rewarding experience).
Shane is a polarizing character, of the love-him-or-hate-him sort (guess which camp I fall into). Nothing is polarizing about Walton's acting though -- he's plain incredible (it's often said that he got Emmy-robbed for his performance in the last season). He starts out as just part of the ensemble, but by the last season, he becomes the second most important character on the show. The finale belongs to him as much as it does to Chiklis.
Shane is a beautiful 7-year trainwreck, and I promise you, one way or another, he will break you heart.
No, strike that, he will tear your heart out of your chest, Fatality-style. I mean it.
Should I Watch It?
Abso-fucking-lutely. BUT, be aware that this is not an easy show to watch. The Shield has been described as a Shakespearean tragedy with crooked cops, and while it is awesome, it is also brutal. The finale I can only describe as soul-crushing.
Let's end on a cast love note (and the love, they has it)!
LOVE.
JUSTIFIED
I'm not sure if an introduction to Boyd is necessary, but let's have one anyway.
Now that the soulful "My Lackeys Are Dumbasses" look is out of the way, let's get down to BUSINESS (to defeat THE HUNS).
Now we're talkin'.
We've already established that LOOSE CANNON is sorta Walton's thing, and Boyd pretty much embodies it in the most beautiful way possible.
"You worried about your car?"
Raylan ain't the only one with swagger on this show. Gotta admire the energy Boyd puts into showing off.
"Right now? Right now?"
I believe this is the scene I fell in love with Boyd. Sure, the bazooka posturing was awesome, but there's pure glee here that's just infectious.
THIS GUY KNOWS HOW TO HAVE FUN.
And Devil is soooo into him. Poor Devil, you know Boyd only has eyes for Ray-ray!
You can watch this video on www.livejournal.com
Now, this commercial is just plain badass. Also, if you try hard, you can catch a glimpse of Boyd's sock!
Yar-har-fiddle-dee-dee, being a pirate is all right to be!
Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free, you are a pirate!
Or, y'know, a bazooka-toting, bank robbing, play-pretend white supremacist. Close nuff.
I can't really say which Walton character is my favorite, Shane or Boyd. They're both archetypes that I can't help but love (troubled fuckup and charismatic firecracker), so I'll take the diplomatic parent route and say my love for them is about equal, though different.
Boyd has a much healthier OTP, however, awkward dinners, showdowns, gunshot wounds and all.
"Looks like it hurts."
"Why yes, Raylan. Thank you for noticing. Somebody shot me in the chest the other day."
THE FLIRTING. Not sure how this scene translates into anything other than Boyd groggily hitting on Raylan (OMG U SHOT ME ILU *__*). Taking bullets seems to bring out the gay in him.
Also, this scene stands out as Boyd's only pseudo-shirtless scene this season. If you have followed this spam closely, you surely know this is a great injustice that needs to be righted. I have high hopes for you, season 2!
Boyd is like Jesus, in a way. Except he doesn't love you. He loves Raylan and rocket launchers.
Boyd is a scholar and teacher of men.
Let us take a moment to meditate on the awesomeness of Raylan's prayer.
"Dear Lord, before we eat this meal, we ask forgiveness for our sins, especially Boyd, who blew up a black church with a rocket launcher and afterwards shot his associate Jared Hale in the back of the head out on Tates Creek bridge. Let the image of Jared’s brain matter on that windshield not dampen our appetites, but may the knowledge of Boyd’s past sins help guide these men. May this food provide all the nourishment they need, but if it does not, may they find comfort in knowing that the United States Marshals Service is offering fifty thousand dollars to any individual providing information that will put Boyd back in prison. Cash or check, we can make it out to them or to Jesus, whoever they want. In Your name we pray, amen."
I love how chill Boyd is about it.
Boyd is stoic and courageous in the face of baby choppers.
He fights evil with the Bible and a lil bit of rocket launcher on the side!
This has got to be one of my favorite Boyd caps ever.
Just… yeah.
I quite like this one, too. :D And if Shane's a jerkass woobie, then Boyd's an iron woobie, no question.
Also, is it just me, or is this some Dexter-caliber abstract art going on on his face?
You know what I love about this scene? Epicness, OTPness and general awesomeness aside?
BOYD'S OUTFIT.
Boyd, you have missed your calling. You should have been a punk rock star.
And of course the spam can't go without the epic cuddling scene.
And just 'cause, here's Boyd and the Bible According to Pulp Fiction.
Only 49 icons. I've been slacking off, I know. Need moar seasons to go completely crazy!
Justified
Ah, actually, I'm all meta'd out, guys. Boyd is what got me interested in Walton in the first place, and he's made of highly explosive awesome, 'nuff said.
Should I Watch It?
You mean you're not watching it already? If so, why the hell not?
LOVE THEM.
MISC
Have I mentioned this BAMF won an Oscar with his BFF Ray McKinnon and Ray's wife Lisa Blount? It's for the short film 'The Accountant', which they have co-produced (I overcame my fear of short Oscar-winning features and watched it, but was too lazy to add it to the spam - it's pretty damn good, though!).
NOW HOW ABOUT GIVING THE MAN SOME EMMYS, BITCHES?
Also, I'm not great at this whole talking-about-actors-as-people thing, but I will mention that everything I've seen indicates that Walton's an all around great guy, and if you want an impression of what he's like in person, I'd recommend listening to this interview, in which he discusses Justified, the Shield and more cool stuff.
And now I will shut up and let the spam speak for itself! :D
And on this truly GQMF note, the spam comes to an end. For a bigger fix of Walton, you can visit Fuck Yeah Walton Goggins (which I'm running) and Walton Goggins Fan.
That'd be all. Have a good day, and remember:
Save a horse, ride a cowboy!
If you'd like to snag anything, feel free, but please credit for the icons! (also, if you've enjoyed this, please consider pimping it out! THE WALTON LOVE, IT MUST SPREAD AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD.)