Not much to say
But I'll try to write a few lines anyway. It's been a while, after all.
Struggling somewhere between depression and contence, I still haven't quite figured out which I am more. I feel hopeful yet hopeless at the same time. I think it's the same old enemy of mine - the time. I feel that it's always against me and that I'm soon running out of it and find out that I actually got nothing done that I was supposed to. To borrow one of my favourite phrases: "Like I'd be a dancer, practising and waiting for that certain play that after all never came." Yeah, just like that. But as I cannot be sure if it's coming or not, I can only hope and do something about it. Right? Right.
But I haven't. Much. Well, I did study some japanese with Netha as she visited me a week ago, and I've tried to self study some too. Even my mother said I should really set that up as a goal. I guess she's proud that I can do languages. Welp, that's pretty much all I can do when it comes to school subjects and if the arts are not counted. ^^;
Instead of doing much else for my future, I've been working (as always) and let the days pass. Time goes with horrible speed, you know! >.<
To motivate myself and amuse myself I have been daydreaming, more or less sharing those thoughts. Usually not so much, at least not openly on Twitter, but as a reply to someone. Well, happened to retweet one thing Netha said there and posted it to Shinji too as a joke, and one of my Twitter friends shoved a load of shit to my neck about it. Haven't felt that failed for the longest time. o.o;
I was scolded and compared to a teenager in my fangirlism, and it was not the first time... About a week ago another friend said that I'm quite a surprising person, as I don't always act my age. Why the heck should I? How does a single people at my age act? Drink their asses off and tweet about it? No thanks.
And yeah, I do know that working in japanese music business I should keep certain things to myself, and of course I would. But I'm not there yet. Nowhere near it, to say the least. So let me dwell in my misery or in my happy moments of daydreaming, thank you! -_-
Thank goodness Excelly and Alex came to cheer me up and said that I shouldn't mind about the people who can't understand me or take me as I am. I guess that's true. We can't all be alike. I can't be like the most of the people who talk about their lovers, families or other stuff like that. I don't have much else in my life besides work, friends and my love for the certain people.
Speaking of that people...
It's just not fair, Akkun. >.<
Could you wait for me? Like, pretty please? Sigh.
Other than that, I've been overtalked to take Industrial piercing. Yah, I've been pondering that for ages, like, since 2003 or something when I first saw a person having one. It was love at the first sight. Not with that person, but with that piercing. It really caught my eye. I guess I'm finally doing it then. I'm such a scaredy cat, afraid of a lots of stuff, but... I think I'll live. If not, I guess I'll still stay around even if you don't see me. I'll be sulking here, or if possible, go to Japan to stalk guard my little darlings there.
And I haven't seen lately any good dreams either. Well, I have a hollow vision of me being with Kenzo once, but... then Mao and Miya and what's their names came to distract us. Ah, such cruelty. Better luck next time. Neeeh.
Struggling somewhere between depression and contence, I still haven't quite figured out which I am more. I feel hopeful yet hopeless at the same time. I think it's the same old enemy of mine - the time. I feel that it's always against me and that I'm soon running out of it and find out that I actually got nothing done that I was supposed to. To borrow one of my favourite phrases: "Like I'd be a dancer, practising and waiting for that certain play that after all never came." Yeah, just like that. But as I cannot be sure if it's coming or not, I can only hope and do something about it. Right? Right.
But I haven't. Much. Well, I did study some japanese with Netha as she visited me a week ago, and I've tried to self study some too. Even my mother said I should really set that up as a goal. I guess she's proud that I can do languages. Welp, that's pretty much all I can do when it comes to school subjects and if the arts are not counted. ^^;
Instead of doing much else for my future, I've been working (as always) and let the days pass. Time goes with horrible speed, you know! >.<
To motivate myself and amuse myself I have been daydreaming, more or less sharing those thoughts. Usually not so much, at least not openly on Twitter, but as a reply to someone. Well, happened to retweet one thing Netha said there and posted it to Shinji too as a joke, and one of my Twitter friends shoved a load of shit to my neck about it. Haven't felt that failed for the longest time. o.o;
I was scolded and compared to a teenager in my fangirlism, and it was not the first time... About a week ago another friend said that I'm quite a surprising person, as I don't always act my age. Why the heck should I? How does a single people at my age act? Drink their asses off and tweet about it? No thanks.
And yeah, I do know that working in japanese music business I should keep certain things to myself, and of course I would. But I'm not there yet. Nowhere near it, to say the least. So let me dwell in my misery or in my happy moments of daydreaming, thank you! -_-
Thank goodness Excelly and Alex came to cheer me up and said that I shouldn't mind about the people who can't understand me or take me as I am. I guess that's true. We can't all be alike. I can't be like the most of the people who talk about their lovers, families or other stuff like that. I don't have much else in my life besides work, friends and my love for the certain people.
Speaking of that people...
It's just not fair, Akkun. >.<
Could you wait for me? Like, pretty please? Sigh.
Other than that, I've been overtalked to take Industrial piercing. Yah, I've been pondering that for ages, like, since 2003 or something when I first saw a person having one. It was love at the first sight. Not with that person, but with that piercing. It really caught my eye. I guess I'm finally doing it then. I'm such a scaredy cat, afraid of a lots of stuff, but... I think I'll live. If not, I guess I'll still stay around even if you don't see me. I'll be sulking here, or if possible, go to Japan to stalk guard my little darlings there.
And I haven't seen lately any good dreams either. Well, I have a hollow vision of me being with Kenzo once, but... then Mao and Miya and what's their names came to distract us. Ah, such cruelty. Better luck next time. Neeeh.