When It Rains [Drabble]
Title : When It Rains
Fandom : SHINee
Pairing : Jongkey
Raiting : PG
Genre : Angst
Words : 819
Summary : They had been living in a fantasy, but now that the real world had enveloped them - they understood that it was inevitable that it would break.
A/N - inspired by this video.
Before everything happened things were simple. There were no questions, no suspicions, and no worries. There was just a frequently spoken understanding between the two of them. There was an unsigned vow of three words that saturated the air between the two of them. However, now they understand how much they needed that signature to prove the vow existed. Now they can see how delicate and brittle an understanding is. Now they know the price for naivety; one of heart wrenching pain and suffering. They now know that back then they were living in a fantasy; a beautiful, intoxicating dream. Now the real world had caught up to them.
“Don’t leave,” the words caught in Jonghyun’s throat. Emotions strangled his voice relentlessly as he looked up at his boyfriend’s face. A face he was so used to seeing with expression dancing across its features showing him just how much he loved Jonghyun, trusted him and needed him. The face before him now was that of a stranger; a stranger made of impenetrable ice. The eyes that looked down at Jonghyun’s trembling ones were cold and emotionless - Jonghyun knew he had no chance to deter him. Still he had to - needed to - try.
“Please I can change…I can…I can do anything. Please, just please…don’t.” Jonghyun struggled with words as dry sobs threatened to escape from his taught lips. He showed no reaction. It was if he hadn’t heard him as he stared down at Jonghyun’s pitiful state. He was deaf to his desperate pleas.
Kibum turned to leave with his unmoving expression remaining in place. Shaking hands frantically reached out to grab onto any part of the male, only to be thrown off in a heartless, uncaring manner. Jonghyun crumpled to the floor in defeat and watched from tear soaked eyes as the love of his life left without uttering a word of explanation. But Jonghyun knew anyway.
All the boy left behind was a small square shaped box. Jonghyun recognized it. Further tears burst from his eyes and streamed down his swollen face to the tune of his silent sobs. The box was a present he had given Kibum a few months prior. Something Kibum had received through rivers of joyful tears before throwing his arms around Jonghyun, the word ‘yes’ barely audible in the lack of space between them. But that was before the real world tore them apart. In the box was a ring; one which holds a very specific meaning. Leaving it behind also held a stronger, more final definition.
Jonghyun couldn’t look at the box any more - he raised his grief ridden body from the ground, grabbed the package and shoved into his pocket haphazardly. He hurtled out the door and ran to his car as the heavy rain pounded down on his barely covered back. He didn’t notice the rain; he was already soaked from his own tears. He drove with no direction until he couldn’t drive any longer because of the tears dangerously obscuring his vision. He tried to stop them, but to no avail. His head fell to the steering wheel as his body shook with violent grief. No one passed on the deserted street.
The window was rolled down and the rain battered his arm as he extended it outside of his shelter. He opened his hand and let the package drop. With it went five years of his life - five years he’d gladly have fallen with just so he could return to live within the blissful memories they contained. But that’s impossible. Not now that they weren’t a secret only the two of them shared. Not now that they were a cause of Kibum’s suffering and his too. Not now that the real world had taught them a valuable lesson; to everyone but them, those memories were wrong, detestable. They were freak’s and unnatural - Kibum’s parents had made that clear when they kicked him and disowned his the day he called to tell them of our engagement. He had never told them of his orientation until then.
Kibum had never been able to deal with rejection.
Jonghyun rolled up the window. His face as now dry and sore but invisible tears still cascaded freely within him. He started the car’s engine and slowly drove home. He didn’t want to be alone in a house he had recently grown used to being in with another person.
His body went on autopilot. His eyes saw nothing. His ears heard nothing. His brain thought nothing. His heart felt nothing; it no longer could.
If his body had been aware he would have seen someone familiar as he drove around the corner preceding his street. He would have seen a boy who stood sheltered under an awning. The rain could not reach him where he had frozen with his face contorted with overwhelming emotion. But still tracks of water ran endlessly down his face.
Fandom : SHINee
Pairing : Jongkey
Raiting : PG
Genre : Angst
Words : 819
Summary : They had been living in a fantasy, but now that the real world had enveloped them - they understood that it was inevitable that it would break.
A/N - inspired by this video.
Before everything happened things were simple. There were no questions, no suspicions, and no worries. There was just a frequently spoken understanding between the two of them. There was an unsigned vow of three words that saturated the air between the two of them. However, now they understand how much they needed that signature to prove the vow existed. Now they can see how delicate and brittle an understanding is. Now they know the price for naivety; one of heart wrenching pain and suffering. They now know that back then they were living in a fantasy; a beautiful, intoxicating dream. Now the real world had caught up to them.
“Don’t leave,” the words caught in Jonghyun’s throat. Emotions strangled his voice relentlessly as he looked up at his boyfriend’s face. A face he was so used to seeing with expression dancing across its features showing him just how much he loved Jonghyun, trusted him and needed him. The face before him now was that of a stranger; a stranger made of impenetrable ice. The eyes that looked down at Jonghyun’s trembling ones were cold and emotionless - Jonghyun knew he had no chance to deter him. Still he had to - needed to - try.
“Please I can change…I can…I can do anything. Please, just please…don’t.” Jonghyun struggled with words as dry sobs threatened to escape from his taught lips. He showed no reaction. It was if he hadn’t heard him as he stared down at Jonghyun’s pitiful state. He was deaf to his desperate pleas.
Kibum turned to leave with his unmoving expression remaining in place. Shaking hands frantically reached out to grab onto any part of the male, only to be thrown off in a heartless, uncaring manner. Jonghyun crumpled to the floor in defeat and watched from tear soaked eyes as the love of his life left without uttering a word of explanation. But Jonghyun knew anyway.
All the boy left behind was a small square shaped box. Jonghyun recognized it. Further tears burst from his eyes and streamed down his swollen face to the tune of his silent sobs. The box was a present he had given Kibum a few months prior. Something Kibum had received through rivers of joyful tears before throwing his arms around Jonghyun, the word ‘yes’ barely audible in the lack of space between them. But that was before the real world tore them apart. In the box was a ring; one which holds a very specific meaning. Leaving it behind also held a stronger, more final definition.
Jonghyun couldn’t look at the box any more - he raised his grief ridden body from the ground, grabbed the package and shoved into his pocket haphazardly. He hurtled out the door and ran to his car as the heavy rain pounded down on his barely covered back. He didn’t notice the rain; he was already soaked from his own tears. He drove with no direction until he couldn’t drive any longer because of the tears dangerously obscuring his vision. He tried to stop them, but to no avail. His head fell to the steering wheel as his body shook with violent grief. No one passed on the deserted street.
The window was rolled down and the rain battered his arm as he extended it outside of his shelter. He opened his hand and let the package drop. With it went five years of his life - five years he’d gladly have fallen with just so he could return to live within the blissful memories they contained. But that’s impossible. Not now that they weren’t a secret only the two of them shared. Not now that they were a cause of Kibum’s suffering and his too. Not now that the real world had taught them a valuable lesson; to everyone but them, those memories were wrong, detestable. They were freak’s and unnatural - Kibum’s parents had made that clear when they kicked him and disowned his the day he called to tell them of our engagement. He had never told them of his orientation until then.
Kibum had never been able to deal with rejection.
Jonghyun rolled up the window. His face as now dry and sore but invisible tears still cascaded freely within him. He started the car’s engine and slowly drove home. He didn’t want to be alone in a house he had recently grown used to being in with another person.
His body went on autopilot. His eyes saw nothing. His ears heard nothing. His brain thought nothing. His heart felt nothing; it no longer could.
If his body had been aware he would have seen someone familiar as he drove around the corner preceding his street. He would have seen a boy who stood sheltered under an awning. The rain could not reach him where he had frozen with his face contorted with overwhelming emotion. But still tracks of water ran endlessly down his face.