Zune = 8track
So I was called in to Micro$oft on Wednesday to be a test subject for some new product. Turns out that I was involved in a "user testing" session for the new Zune music player.
Does anyone else think it odd that I was testing a device that is already available on the market? Hmm...
The testing facility was seriously high-tech. I was recorded on video from 3 different angles in a soundproof room with a one-way glass mirror, etc.
Fortunately they had already installed the software on the Windows machine I was using (which is apparently the big stopper for the people who already have the device in hand).
Basically they gave me 67 sheets of paper. Each one had a single task on it - like "Turn the unit on" - and I would read the task, do the task, and then rate it according to ease and speed to complete.
And now I know why Microsoft products do *exactly* what they say they do, and still suck ass.
For example, I couldn't figure out how to turn the thing off. So the task got a 0/0 ranking, which translates to basically to "difficult to execute, and slow to work".
Which is not the case at all...
The function was unintuitive. Not difficult to execute or slow to function.
However, other tasks were difficult to execute and/or slow to function, so they received a 0/0 as well.
So now they have a single result (a "0/0" rating) meaning two different things. (Unintuitive or unresponsive.)
Now obviously my results will be aggregated with the results from other testers. So say 100 people test it, and half the other people CAN figure out how to turn the device off. They give it a 6/6 rating. Now the average rating is a 3/3, which doesn't reflect the actual functionality of the device in any way, shape, or form.
So the "common problems" will be given a priority, with the average ratings of 2/2 or below getting the highest priority. The fact that half the people that tested the thing couldn't figure out how to turn it off will be swept under the V2.0 carpet. ("We'll take that feedback into account when we design the next version.")
Anyway, so what about the device itself?
The Zune is what you get when a dog eats your diamond earrings: a steaming turd with two diamonds in it.
It is heavy, clunky, uncomfortable in the hand (sharp corners), and all the controls down at the very bottom edge. So what? Who cares where the controls are? Well, this is a one-handed device, right?
Try this: take out your cell phone and hold it in your hand like you are looking at the screen. Now press the "0" on your phone. Imagine that your phone is 6 times heavier, and ALL the functionality of your phone took place in the space occupied by the X 0 and # keys.
Basically what happens is that you drop the thing 4 or 5 times in a row. To operate the controls comfortably, you shift the device up in your hand so your thumb rests naturally over then controls. That means that 60% of the weight of the device is now unsupported above your first finger! As soon as you lift your thumb *FLIP* the thing pitches over the top of your first finger, and drops to the table, floor, or your lap.
NOTE: For those of you who have never shaken hands with me, I have BIG hands, and they are strong. 20 years of bass playing will do that to ya. And this device was difficult for me to handle...
The two diamonds? One is the plastic they made the Zune out of. It has a wonderful texture to it, and is slightly translucent. Very nice looking and feeling. The other diamond is the LOOK of the interface. It doesn't WORK very well, but it has really smooth motion, easy to read text, nice screen, and overall the interface LOOKS nice.
Functionally, the software is kinda silly. It is built like scaffolding. Climb up this ladder, cross the scaffolding to this other ladder, then climb down that ladder to get to a function. Wanna move out of Music section to the Video section? Climb up three or four clicks to the Music menu, go back along the menus to the Main Menu, then climb down to Video and click on it. Now you are in the video section, so climb across the scaffolding to the menu you want, then down that ladder to the menu item you want.
It is REALLY clunky. Colossally clunky. Designed by an engineer according to logic and reason. And totally frustrating to use.
To sum up: It is the EPITOME of Microsoft design. A perfect example of their hatred for their customers and all that is beautiful and elegant in the world. And ya know what? They are doing user testing NOW... AFTER the product has shipped. I know I have always joked that MS lets their early-adopter users do the testing, but now I have incontrovertible proof. Sheesh. How pathetic.
(Oh, and I got a free copy of Encarta for doing the testing. When getting your "thank you" gift for doing your testing, there is ZERO information on the stuff they offer you. You have to know MS's ENTIRE product line by memory! I thought Encarta was that cool world atlas application... but no, it's just an Encyclopedia. Piffle.)
Does anyone else think it odd that I was testing a device that is already available on the market? Hmm...
The testing facility was seriously high-tech. I was recorded on video from 3 different angles in a soundproof room with a one-way glass mirror, etc.
Fortunately they had already installed the software on the Windows machine I was using (which is apparently the big stopper for the people who already have the device in hand).
Basically they gave me 67 sheets of paper. Each one had a single task on it - like "Turn the unit on" - and I would read the task, do the task, and then rate it according to ease and speed to complete.
And now I know why Microsoft products do *exactly* what they say they do, and still suck ass.
For example, I couldn't figure out how to turn the thing off. So the task got a 0/0 ranking, which translates to basically to "difficult to execute, and slow to work".
Which is not the case at all...
The function was unintuitive. Not difficult to execute or slow to function.
However, other tasks were difficult to execute and/or slow to function, so they received a 0/0 as well.
So now they have a single result (a "0/0" rating) meaning two different things. (Unintuitive or unresponsive.)
Now obviously my results will be aggregated with the results from other testers. So say 100 people test it, and half the other people CAN figure out how to turn the device off. They give it a 6/6 rating. Now the average rating is a 3/3, which doesn't reflect the actual functionality of the device in any way, shape, or form.
So the "common problems" will be given a priority, with the average ratings of 2/2 or below getting the highest priority. The fact that half the people that tested the thing couldn't figure out how to turn it off will be swept under the V2.0 carpet. ("We'll take that feedback into account when we design the next version.")
Anyway, so what about the device itself?
The Zune is what you get when a dog eats your diamond earrings: a steaming turd with two diamonds in it.
It is heavy, clunky, uncomfortable in the hand (sharp corners), and all the controls down at the very bottom edge. So what? Who cares where the controls are? Well, this is a one-handed device, right?
Try this: take out your cell phone and hold it in your hand like you are looking at the screen. Now press the "0" on your phone. Imagine that your phone is 6 times heavier, and ALL the functionality of your phone took place in the space occupied by the X 0 and # keys.
Basically what happens is that you drop the thing 4 or 5 times in a row. To operate the controls comfortably, you shift the device up in your hand so your thumb rests naturally over then controls. That means that 60% of the weight of the device is now unsupported above your first finger! As soon as you lift your thumb *FLIP* the thing pitches over the top of your first finger, and drops to the table, floor, or your lap.
NOTE: For those of you who have never shaken hands with me, I have BIG hands, and they are strong. 20 years of bass playing will do that to ya. And this device was difficult for me to handle...
The two diamonds? One is the plastic they made the Zune out of. It has a wonderful texture to it, and is slightly translucent. Very nice looking and feeling. The other diamond is the LOOK of the interface. It doesn't WORK very well, but it has really smooth motion, easy to read text, nice screen, and overall the interface LOOKS nice.
Functionally, the software is kinda silly. It is built like scaffolding. Climb up this ladder, cross the scaffolding to this other ladder, then climb down that ladder to get to a function. Wanna move out of Music section to the Video section? Climb up three or four clicks to the Music menu, go back along the menus to the Main Menu, then climb down to Video and click on it. Now you are in the video section, so climb across the scaffolding to the menu you want, then down that ladder to the menu item you want.
It is REALLY clunky. Colossally clunky. Designed by an engineer according to logic and reason. And totally frustrating to use.
To sum up: It is the EPITOME of Microsoft design. A perfect example of their hatred for their customers and all that is beautiful and elegant in the world. And ya know what? They are doing user testing NOW... AFTER the product has shipped. I know I have always joked that MS lets their early-adopter users do the testing, but now I have incontrovertible proof. Sheesh. How pathetic.
(Oh, and I got a free copy of Encarta for doing the testing. When getting your "thank you" gift for doing your testing, there is ZERO information on the stuff they offer you. You have to know MS's ENTIRE product line by memory! I thought Encarta was that cool world atlas application... but no, it's just an Encyclopedia. Piffle.)