(no subject)
Day One - Sunday
Feels weird writing in the pad that’s in here. I know I keep a journal, but that’s hardly the same thing, that’s just big brother keeping an eye on his siblings. I suppose I can write in here, maybe I’m meant to or something. Wonder if they take them away and assess them?
The trip over wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, sure the nerves really kicked in when I pulled up at the gatehouse here. But, I’m no where near the wreak I’d imagined being. Me and Eishirou didn’t part and what I would call good terms, he wanted to come with me and I don’t want him here. It sounds harsher than it is. I simply need to be on my own to do this with no outside influence. I understand that now I’m here. At first I was really mad at Bunta, if he could help An, why couldn’t he help me? But I can see why now even if it does leave an odd taste in my mouth. I didn’t say anything to mum and dad. Father doesn’t need this on top of being as ill as he is. I had wanted to keep my cell on me in case anything happened, but rules are rules here and there in place for a reason.
As for ‘this place’. It’s really not that bad or anything like what I’d imagined. There’s no white coats, no wards…it’s more like, I dunno, youth hostel isn’t the right way to say it. It’s almost like a very informal business complex with bedrooms. The only thing that distinguishes the staff from the inpatients is the ID cards on lanyards. My room kinda reminds me of college, been a while since I’ve spent in a single bed too. Still, there’s a nice big window (complete with safety restrictor) overlooking the garden. It’s very… peaceful.
There hasn’t been all that much done today. After I checked in and dumped my stuff I got to sit in this nice open lounge area to fill in a big questioner, one of those where you answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and you’re not supposed to think too much about it. Some of the questions made me grin, not in an amused sense though. It was kinda cliché on the one hand and scary as hell on the other. I’m not comfortable with the thought they might have me on a suicide watch, it makes me feel…like a nuisance in all honesty. After I’d done that I had a cup of tea until I was called to talk to one of the assessment nurses, she was nice enough. Asked me a few questions about my answers and that was kinda it really. Nothing too intense or crazy.
I spent the rest of the afternoon sitting on one of the benches in the garden lost in my own thoughts. I didn’t know it was even supper time till one of the nurses came out to me.
There are lots of things I’d like to write, but I don’t want to start thinking too much and worrying. But it’s hard not to. I mean, I can’t help thinking just how much of what happened over the last two and a half years is right. If I can’t remember stuff with Keisuke so whose to say there aren’t things I can’t remember before and after that? It’s not like I’d know, is it? What was it Bunta said? Dissociative. What the hell does that even mean? I have enough trouble even trying to say it. Should have asked one of those nurses.
I really should put this away and try to sleep. Got my first session at nine tomorrow.
I swear, if I hear anything weird tonight I am so out of here.
[ooc: These entries are ones that Taki has wrote in his note book and not on here. There should be one for everyday of his therapy unless mun gets sidetracked, somehow I don't think the little shit will let me >.>]