Title: Unravel me, as you hold me together...
Author:
fate_incompleteRating: PG
Warnings: Angst
Spoilers: 6.10 The Girl Who Waited
Characters: Eleven, Amy (unacted upon Eleven/Amy)
Word Count: 650
Summary: She was never his, yet she always will be. Amy holds the Doctor together, even as she tears him apart.
A/N: a Coda to The Girl Who Waited, because Eleven's angst is just too beautiful.
Universe shattering paradoxes and time splintering absurdities were often idly fantasies for those horrible Tuesdays when nothing interesting was happening. He had pushed and bent, twisted and broken just about every rule there was, but sometimes even he reached his limits.
Trust and loyalty flowed from him, and wrapped those he met in lulling security so easily he rarely stopped to think about it. They followed him into every danger the universe had to offer, and he mostly pulled them all out the other side. Skipping through time and space like a curious kitten enthralled by a ball of string, poking and pulling at threads until it unwound, never looking ahead to the knots and tangles waiting to trap them, until they were inherently caught in some situation that threatened their doom.
He would risk everything he had for her, his Amelia Pond, even if she would never understand it.
He had made her wait once before. He had left her broken, torn between what he offered, and what he had given. She had waited again, but this time he wouldn't let it stand. This time he would undo it. He would save his Amy, no matter how much it may break him.
She had put her trust in him, again, this other Amy, after all those years of hating him for not reaching her in time. He could tell himself that this Amy would never exist, and her pain would never have been, but it didn't stop something inside him from breaking. He watched as she looked at him, seeing the realisation of what he was about to do dawn in her eyes. He saw the pain he caused, but he closed the door anyway, as he had to in order to save her.
He couldn't watch as Rory struggled with the choice, as the other Amy pleaded to be let in, and then pleaded not to be. He wanted to hold her, to take away the pain. He wasn't sure which Amy, either, both, though neither were ever his.
When their Amy woke, he hid behind his frivolity. He masked his pain, wanting only to make her smile. He took comfort when she did. He took comfort when she turned to Rory, her Rory, who loved her with all he was. His best friends, in each other's arms as they should be.
He retreated to his monitors and levers, pushing buttons and flipping switches that didn't need pushing or flipping, to give his hands something to do, until they eventually stilled, resting mutely against the console. He closed his eyes, rubbing a hand against eyes that ached, trying to throw off his miasma of ever present sorrow. At times like this, it was harder, near impossible, but then he felt her come to stand by him.
She leant against the console, bumping him with her elbow. He looked up, his lips tilting slightly, mustering a smile for her.
"Where to this time, raggedy man?" Amy asked.
He smiled. His irrepressible Amelia back again.
"It's your choice," the Doctor replied, tilting his head towards her, her closeness fuelling his ability to find a smile through the pain.
"Surprise me," she said, eyes twinkling as she leaned in as well, their foreheads almost, but not quite touching.
He glanced at the screen above his head. It was black, but the faded ghost of his death still lingered.
"I like surprises," he said, smile broadening.
The Doctor whirled a lever on the console, his eyes glancing back to Amy. "Let's see where she takes us," he said, the TARDIS jolted, almost knocking them off their feet as he slammed another lever down.
They both grabbed the console to keep their balance. Eyes finding each other, as they laughed in unison, letting the possibility of adventure drown out troublesome thoughts, and losing themselves in the moment for as long as they could.