Grammas....
You know I thought when nano died, I'd mourn and move on. The crappy part is that I did mourn and i did move on, but sometimes when i least expect it the fist of sadness closes around my heart. Wraps its arms around me and holds me so damn tightly for a few aching moments I can't stomach the pain. The fact that she's gone is almost as potent as the skin on my bones.
And I miss her.
I really miss her. I miss the smiles that made her close her eyes, crinkling at the corners. I miss the soft pink lipstick she used to wear when she used to go out. I miss the helicopter parathas she used to make for me and i used to eat without wondering how much effort and love it had in it. I miss the big tummy I could put my head on and listen to it grumble. I even miss the way she'd laugh when she was laying on her hospital bed and laugh while I danced to something cheap and ridiculous.
Now I don't know what to do or say or feel. Feels better though. Writting about it. Do you figure it's sad that this is the only way I can vent. Sometimes, I wish I could go to Bunny and pour my heart out, but I know he can't handle it. We're not like that. He's not the tight hugs and soothing words type. Times like this, I wish he was.
Oh well. Life goes on. The curtains lift and the show is on.
That's life.
And I miss her.
I really miss her. I miss the smiles that made her close her eyes, crinkling at the corners. I miss the soft pink lipstick she used to wear when she used to go out. I miss the helicopter parathas she used to make for me and i used to eat without wondering how much effort and love it had in it. I miss the big tummy I could put my head on and listen to it grumble. I even miss the way she'd laugh when she was laying on her hospital bed and laugh while I danced to something cheap and ridiculous.
Now I don't know what to do or say or feel. Feels better though. Writting about it. Do you figure it's sad that this is the only way I can vent. Sometimes, I wish I could go to Bunny and pour my heart out, but I know he can't handle it. We're not like that. He's not the tight hugs and soothing words type. Times like this, I wish he was.
Oh well. Life goes on. The curtains lift and the show is on.
That's life.