Oh yes, I belong here.
I Am Fat
How much do you weigh? Well, I just checked and... 208 lbs. Um, wow. Just wow. I've gained 2 pounds in the past few days. What more proof do you people need?
How tall are you? 5"7, almost 5"8
Are you clinically obese? It would seem so.
How much food do you consume in one day? Too much, clearly.
Do you hang out with fat people or are you the fattest one in your group of friends (assuming you have friends)? I am the fatty; the fattest of the fat... well, with the exception of my boyfriend, but at least he has some sort of excuse (he is abnormally tall, like 6"5).
Were you always fat? If not, how old were you when you got/started getting fat? Why? (over consumption of food, heredity, etc..) LONG STORY. Ready? Here we go: I was skinny as hell in my very early years, really... even a little too skinny, skinny like scrawny-skinny (I also had short hair; people thought I was a little boy)... until about third grade. In third grade, I started getting a little pudgy... but that was it, just pudgy, you know, like cute-kid-chubby. It actually seemed like a good, healthy change... But only for a while, because in fourth grade, my mother (who, by the by, was also fat) died, and that is when I became a fat ass. Food has been a problem for me ever since; I have an addictive personality, you see, and I will use anything for comfort, be it drugs, alcohol, sex... or, well, eating. I remained fat as hell until the end of sixth grade. At the end of sixth grade, I discovered the wonder of self-induced vomiting. I also grew/developed a lot, so I lost a lot of weight very quickly. And, for a period of time, I was actually quite skinny again (untillll I was about 14ish). Then I re-discovered eating. Eating=Good. Which brings me to where I am today: over 200 fucking pounds, obviously out of shape, incredibly bitter/discouraged, and weighing the most I ever have. Hoorah!
Were you the fat kid in school? For a couple of years, yes. Fourth and fifth grade, definetly... and I suppose I might be now.
What are/were some of your fat nicknames? Uhhh, fat ass? Ghetto booty.
Are you comfortable being fat? Not really, no. Well, sort of. I'm not sure.
What is your most embarrassing fat moment? Every moment of my waking life is my most embarrassing fat moment.
What diets (if any) have you tried, fatass? Diets? What are these diets you speak of? I've tried diet pills. I've tried not eating meat. I've tried not eating at all (which never lasts more than a day). I've tried throwing up what I eat. But, of course, I inevitabley fail; I have no self-control whatsoever.
Do you ever plan on not being fat? When and How? I have fantasies of one day being thin. I want to weigh 120 pounds. As far as it actually happening? Uhhhhh, not looking likely.
Do you consider Burger King or McDonald's a balanced or hearty meal of the day? No, I don't consider it "balanced" or "hearty", not at all. I do like fast food though... because it tastes good. I AM FAT, therefore I like things that taste good.
Do you eat fast? Depends on what I'm eating.
Do you put "All-You-Can-Eat" Buffets out of business? No, but it sounds like a good idea.
Do you look like this person? I'm not black, my eyes are lighter, and my hair is frizzier. But I'm probably just as fat as her, if that is what you're getting at.
In your opinion, what makes you so fat? Lack of excersice; I'm a sloth. And, of course, eating. Really, with the amount of food I consume daily, it's a wonder I'm not 500 lbs.
[I'm sorry you had to see that, just provin' my point... and, hell, that was a few months ago; I'm probably even FATTER now*shudder*.]
I Am Ugly
How many mirrors has your ugly face broken? None, at least, as far as I know. Perhaps the mirrors just wait until I leave the room to shatter, you know, so as not to hurt my feelings. ;x
How many mirrors do you have in your bedroom? 1
Do you avoid having your picture taken? By other people? Yes. The results there are just depressing. However, I don't mind taking pictures of myself so much because a.) I can delete whatever horrifies me b.) I can focus on obscure angles/certain facial expressions that limit the uglyness and c.) I can edit the pictures to trick myself into feeling somewhat-attractive. Photoshop is my friend.
Were you made fun of in school for being ugly? No, I was made fun of for being strange, though I'm sure the uglyness didn't help.
What are your nicknames for being ugly? LizMonster, Pubehead
Have you ever looked at Swamp Thing and thought "ditto"? I've never looked at Swamp Thing, to be quite honest. But I'm sure that if I did, I would.
Do you wear make-up? How much and how often? I wear make-up every day in a pathetic attempt to cover facial blemishes and the ever-attractive dark circles beneath my eyes... It doesn't work. At all.
When babies have to look at you, do they cry? No, but they should.
Do you avoid going places because you are so gross? YES.
Do you fail at every attempt to look better? Yes.
Do you ever look at Clint Howard or Linda Tripp and wish you were that pretty? Ha, no.
Do you ever attempt to wear hip or modern clothes only to realize that your ugliness overshadows the entire wardrobe? Every day.
Are you ugly "on the inside" as well? Why or why not? Yes, I am. I am fucking ugly, inside and out. I'm a horrible person, truly horrible. I'm selfish as fuck, I ruin everything, and I've hurt the person closest to me. Repetadly. The End.
Do you look like this person? In my personal opinion? Worse.
In your opinion, what makes you so ugly? Genetics, I guess.
[on the right]
I Am A Retard
Are you actually mentally challenged? No, but I'm emotionally challenged?
Were you ever in Special Ed? When and Why? No. I should have been, but no.
What is your most retarded moment? (it doesn't count if you were stoned)
Good question. If I wasn't so damn retarded, maybe I'd think of a good response.
Do you spit/drool when you talk? I always spit. Always. And I have drooled on several occasions.
Do you spit when you eat? Not sure, probably.
Do you dance like a retard, especially when there is no music playing? DUH.
Have you ever been mentioned in tardblog.com? If so, which part? No, can't say that I have been. Pity.
Did you ever fail a grade? Which one and why? I failed seventh grade because I stopped going to school; I was a truant for about a year. At the start of what was supposed to be my freshmen year of highschool, I was sent to a place where they put me back on grade level (as a freshman). So, basically, I never had an eighth grade year. Fuck the system, eh? Punk rawk!!!!!!!!1
Is it hard for people to understand you when you speak? Not usually.
Do you wear a football helmet but you're not on the team? Hahahh, no.
Did your parents ever call you "special"? Yes!
Do you often have uncontrollable, spastic gestures? Yep.
Do people compare you to Arnie Grape from What's Eating Gilbert Grape?? If not, from what movie with a retard do they compare you to? I don't really get compared to retards. I don't really get compared to anyone.
Do you do drugs? If so, what kind? Not including alcohol? I have a problem with pills, benzos, mostly. (Have you started to notice how many problems I have?) I like Xanax. It all started when I was 12 (seriously) and got a prescription for it (around the same time I stopped going to school). I wasn't able to sleep at night, and I was diagnosed with social anxiety... but it got to the point where my prescribed dosage (one half of one pill) was not nearly enough, oh no. Eventually, I needed seven or eight, even nine at a time (which, in theory, I really could have ODed on at that age) or I physically could not sleep. When they took the script away, I discovered the possibility of buying drugs from *gasp*drug dealers. Pills like Xanax ("bars") are actually very popular amongst kids around here (South Florida). Point is, my drug of choice is Xanax, always has been. I try not to do it anymore... because I know it's a problem, but sometimes I slip. Valium is also nice. Oh, and OXY. Oxycontin, that is, which is also pretty popular outside of the medical world around here, but way too expensive to make a real habit of. Basically, I just like sedatives. I like sedatives in general; sleeping pills and the like as well. Beyond that? I smoke weed on occassion. I'm not a big pothead, but if it's available, I won't turn it down. I tried shrooms once, and I'd like to try acid one of these days... But that's about it.
Have you ever wondered: What are munities?? No.
In your opinion, what makes you so retarded? My apparent inability to function normally?!
[Note the stains on my shirt.]
[Sorry, I couldn't choose just one. Anyway,
I think you get the point.]
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