Mmm, that was a good bit of Wilson angst. :D Wilson was depressed and reflective enough to be believable...but not *too* emo, so he stayed in character. The only thing I'd complain about is the fact that I had a hard time telling when you switched viewpoints.
Yeah, I was a little worried about the switching of viewpoints. I don't like to overuse names, but any scene involving two characters of the same gender forces you to decide between constantly referring to them by name, or trying to balance pronouns and names. It's something I know I need to work on, getting that balance right so you're always aware of who is talking, which train of thought we're watching, but the flow of the piece isn't jolted by overuse of names.
My old writing from high school features a lot of paragraphs that start with characters' full names, so I guess I've gone too far in the other direction now :D
Even at their worst, there's this bond between the two of them, and it's always seemed really warm to me. Even when they're angry or pissy or upset. But yeah, being in a position like Wilson's, trying to keep such strong feelings under wraps, always leads to a little tension.
I'm working on the voices thing...I'm trying to challenge myself through my fic at the moment, so it's great to find out which bits I need to work on more. Thanks for the feedback :)
Ah! Greatness. During it my PC broke, it must have broken down sobbing *lol* (*is not sitting at another one, PC01 needs to calm down first*) How wonderfully tender it was.
I love your words. An interesting piece. You got their voices but it is a little hard to distinguish who is who. Maybe something as simple as changing the font or putting one in italics. Interesting dialogue. Sweet, definatly. Hopefully they will settle down and play nice soon and you can get some of that smutt out. It' sfunny but they always seem to have their own agenda don't they. I always say I don't write I just channel.
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My old writing from high school features a lot of paragraphs that start with characters' full names, so I guess I've gone too far in the other direction now :D
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I'm working on the voices thing...I'm trying to challenge myself through my fic at the moment, so it's great to find out which bits I need to work on more. Thanks for the feedback :)
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How wonderfully tender it was.
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Thank you for commenting :)
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An interesting piece. You got their voices but it is a little hard to distinguish who is who. Maybe something as simple as changing the font or putting one in italics.
Interesting dialogue.
Sweet, definatly.
Hopefully they will settle down and play nice soon and you can get some of that smutt out.
It' sfunny but they always seem to have their own agenda don't they. I always say I don't write I just channel.
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If I have to tie them down and make them, there will be smut. Actually, that's not a bad idea...
I thought about using formatting for the different thoughts but I wasn't sure what else I could use besides italics.
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