Wunderschön!

Feb 09, 2004 22:00

*contented sigh* What a wonderful weekend... I'll try to split it up, comments always welcome.


Joyce woke me up at 10:30am with a call for help. Jordan, her daughter, needed a ride to work at 1pm, so I agreed to take her. Actually, it gave me a convenient excuse not to go to Lea's initial support group meeting. I'm actually rather glad of it. When I was telling Joyce about it, she stopped me off saying, "Aren't you a little past that?" She's right, of course, as usual. When I was a Wiccan, I was an eclectic solitary practitioner; I've always been a lone wolf, so I support myself through the transition as well. Sure, I've got my friends for support, but I don't feel the compulsion to ally myself with "like-minded sisters" in the same situation. Especially since most of them aren't in the same situation. I have precious little in common with a bunch of married crossdressers or late-transitioners whose idea of fun is shooting at target with guns acquired in years of military service or getting 2" dragonlady red acrylic fingernails. Many of us express the feelings of going through a second adolescence. I suppose that's why they feel the need for this pubesecent sort of bonding. I admit, I sometimes feel the need to be girly, but I usually satisfy it by buying a shirt that's "too young" for me or getting a schoolgirly crush. I've kvetched about that long enough... I picked up Jordan and dropped her off at work before coming back to chat some more with my friends and try to muster up courage for a second date with David. I played Disciples II for a while and then got in the shower. As I was letting my hair dry, Scott called to chit-chat. I gushed about my upcoming evening and my feelings (probably a bit insensitive considering he's a hermit at the moment...) while he listened (for a change). It was good to have something to talk about with him, though. He also went on about his life and what needs fixing (though absolutely unwilling to do anything other than bitch about it and balk at suggestions). *sigh* Some people don't realize they're responsible for their own happiness.

I hung up with Scott at 6:05 realizing that I was supposed to meet David at the Acoustic Coffeehouse around 6-ish. MEEP! I rushed to the computer to see if I could find a number... no such luck. Within 5 minutes, though, he'd called to let me know he was just getting to Johnson City because of the snow. Our mutual procrastination triumphs again. Ah well... I put on my face and rushed down (as much as one can rush on slick and icy roads) to the ACH. Even though they cancel the observatory's open houses if there's inclement weather, we thought it was worth going to see if the lecture was still a go. Unfortunately, it wasn't... What to do to fill that 2 hours? We decided upon seeing a movie. After driving between theatres, we set ourselves upon Lost in Translation at Real to Reel. Yes, the seats suck, but what can you do? Since the movie didn't start for a while, we decided to sit and talk. David told me about his trip to his sister's and an job offer in Portland, OR for which he's flying out to be interviewed. He wanted to let me know up front about it (isn't that sweet?) just in case I felt like backing out on him. While we were chatting, he decided to call his friend Sarah who was to be travelling with him to OR. She needed to move a stove from Blacksburg to Bristol. Since he would be there giving a lecture to some forestry students, he agreed to drive her up and help move it. He asked if I'd like to come along; but I needed time to think about it first. At any rate, after talking for a bit more (and making me blush a few times) and some noodlin', we went in to the movie. We were the first in, so we got our pick of seats. (There ended up being merely 5 couples watching... just about perfect, if you ask me.) The movie was very thought-provoking and proved, to me and David at least, that Bill Murrayis still one of the funniest men in Hollywood.

After the movie, we went to a late dinner at Cheddar's and had a lovely time talking and chatting about things, ideas, relationships, and thoughts in general. I told him about my checklist - my 10 "Must Have"s and 10 "Can't Stand"s in a relationship - and how important it is to know what you need, what you want, and what you cannot tolerate in a relationship. I'm thoroughly convinced that most relationships fail because they go on something as ephemeral as romantic feelings without bothering to think long-term about how this person will fit in their lives, their dreams and aspirations, their careers, their familial desires... It's important to be in synch on these things. I've never been a casual dater... heck, I've never been much of a dater. Sure, I've read a lot of relationship books and articles, but I have little practical experience in such matters (yet for some reason people seek my opinion as if I were an expert). So, here I come with all this theoretical knowledge and nothing to back it up. (Sounds sorta like a college grad, eh?) David told me about some of his dating experiences and why they didn't work out. He explained that he hadn't spent much time "courting" the person, but moved fairly quickly to much time spent hanging out at home and such... very few activities. Within two weeks, he would feel choked and have to get out of it. Ever the armchair psychologist, I suggested that this didn't indicate the fear of commitment that he was afraid it might be; rather, it was trying to force an intimacy that he craved but hadn't built. Inevitably such a house of cards will fall because we don't really know the other person and they don't know us. We don't really trust them or know them yet get deeply offended when they betray our presumed trust or offend in some way a true intimate wouldn't. I, on the other hand, have made the decision to be overcautious too many times - not letting people in... heck, not even letting people meet me for fear of being used or taken advantage of again. I've grown a lot in the past year and a half, though, and have overcome a lot of my (self-erected) obstacles. There's still *much* to be done, but I think I'm at least on equal footing with everyone else now. I've developed my observation & intuition skills enough to know whether I'm going to click with someone within 2 dates (hell, sometimes within 1), I told him. I then excused myself to go to the bathroom (where some girl mentioned her hair-envy). When I got back, poor David was sitting nervously and said, "Well, Kate, you've left me on pins and needles here... This is our second date, and I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop!" I took his hand and softly replied, "I've had a wonderful evening. I'd very much look forward to spending the morrow with you." He broke into a sheepish grin and sighed his relief while squeezing my hand. Glad he'd passed the test, he picked up the tab and cheerfully walked me to the car. He awkwardly tried to put his arm around my shoulders but had to let it slip to my hand. Naturally, he's used to girls who are much shorter than he and have much smaller frames, so he's not yet figured out how to hold me comfortably. There's time. :-D Since I would have to get up insanely early (for me, anyway), we decided to call it a night at 1ish. He took me back to my car and wrote out the directions on the back of his business card and talked me through them. We kissed and parted contently...

I briefly shot off a happy-happy joy-joy message to some friends. As I was getting into bed, Reid called in a panic because his car had been towed from Long John Silvers'. I mean, c'mon! You should know better! I asked if he could find a ride around because it was already 2:30 and I had to get up very early... (He was with Charlie, so I knew they'd get a ride.) He said he'd do what he could, but called back 20 minutes later. I was already in bed, and he sounded a bit crazy on the phone... I decided David would be more important, so I let him leave a message and didn't feel guilty in the least...


I woke with a jolt at 7:45am and began thinking about what to wear... after all, he was going to be introducing me to some of his friends, and I wanted to make a good impression. I settled for a pair of flared corduroys and a ribbed turtleneck. I made pretty good time getting ready and drove up to Meadowview to meet him. We had said agreed upon my arriving between 10:30 and 11, but I wanted to show that I could get up and at 'em early if necessary, so I set out at 9. I found his house easily at about 10:15 listening to NPR's Weekend All Things Considered along the way. I considered stopping to grab some coffee for the three of us, but thought I was running late and wouldn't be able to find the place once I did. He greeted me with surprise that I was so early and with concern whether I'd found the place easily enough then turned to attend to his laundry before remembering himself and turning to give me a good morning kiss. :-D *googlies in my tummy* He gave me a brief tour of the cabin and went outside to shovel snow off Beulah, his '69 Ford pickup. I looked around at his books, played with the kitties, and took it all in. When he tracked in some snow, I grabbed the sweep broom and took care of it. *sigh* That's how you know I like someone - when I start taking care of / mothering him. Sarah, the sweetly gregarious little redhead whom David had met at contra dance (No, I didn't know what it was, either.), showed up shortly and into the truck we piled. (Me in the middle, though she, of course, is *much* shorter.) We stopped to fuel up, so I bought us some much-needed coffee, and we were off to Blacksburg. The drive was very nice with much pleasant conversation among the three of us (and surreptitious hand canoodling between two in particular). When we arrived, we dropped Sarah off at the house where her friend Janese was waiting. We decided to load the stove after those two came back from their tour of Radford's campus.

David had a lecture to give to his students, so he dropped me off at Virginia Tech's Carol M. Newman Library to browse around so he could go about his business without "visual distractions". He'd meet me at 2:30 since he needed some info about about vegetation in the Pacific Northwest for the job interview on the 17th. In order to be helpful and save time, I decided to gather the material for him. I familiarized myself with forestry and found all the field guides, biome ecologies, and the latest issues of the Western Journal of Applied Forestry so he could get some recent articles to talk about. I waited for him in the library and met him outside when I saw him coming up. He was pretty stunned when he saw all the work done for him. "I couldn't have gotten half the material in twice the time... and I'm familiar with this library!" He marked off some journal entries and sent me up on my volunteered task to start copying. Soon enough, he joined me, and we finished copying and collating the articles. I rather enjoyed impressing him... now, if only I can keep this up... :-P We returned to the girls at the house, loaded the stove in the truck, and headed downtown to get something to eat. David held my hand or offered his elbow as we walked about looking for a place to eat. (He really is a gentleman.) We settled upon a souvlaki place and ordered some lunch. I'd informed him that today was my treat, yet he still reached for the ticket. Sure, I believe in traditional gender roles and am also a "liberated" woman. A man should still open doors for a woman and offer to carry things and such, but he shouldn't be expected to shell out for everything. I guess a good "partnership" would be more like communism - from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs. I paid, he helped me into my coat, and we walked back to Beulah, telling stories of the worst pickup lines we've ever heard.

On the ride home, we discussed much: the movie, different levels of relating, denominations, churchgoing, flirting, jealousy, the divine inspiration/authorship of Scripture... (on which we hemidemisemidisagree) My favorite quote of the evening came when David was discussing his encounters with the Unitarian-Universalists: "If I didn't want to go to church on Sunday morning, I'd just sleep in." It's good to be with someone who loves discussing the things about which I'm passionate. And we can even agree to disagree because it is something that's so disputatious. As I told him on Friday night, "I'm only rabid with my dogma." groan Oh, stop it... you knew I was a horrid punster before you read this. Back at the cabin, I took a look at his laptop to see if I could get his PCMCIA NIC installed properly. While doing that, he fixed me a cup of peppermint tea and rubbed my shoulders, fascinated with the feat of "technical prowess" unfolding before him. He dries his clothes on a drying rack, whereas I'm a 21st-Century Digital Girl... "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." Thank you, Arthur C. Clarke. I told him he can take it out in trade by fixing my too-large DIVA belt. *giggles* He actually used to do a lot of leatherwork, so he had all the tools to do it. Janese and Sarah called while I was finishing up and said they were ready to take the stove and would be by to lead us over. I offered to take David to dinner as he poured my tea into a styrofoam travel cup. We drove over in seperate cars and met Janese's family. There was a moment of confusion at my name. I'm used to introducing myself by my first name, Jamey; but David prefers to call me by my middle name, Kate. (And yes, I do think that's adorable.) So, there was an awkward moment reintroducing myself. Janese's husband was cooking something that smelled wonderful. We all sat in the kitchen and chatted about David's job, his upcoming interview, the Carter Family Fold, and OM (which Janese had been involved with for many years). I noticed her cutely sun Roan eyeing me. When they decided to go to move the stove in, Roan told me he'd attended Maryville College. I mentioned my friend Scott who went there.
R: "Scott K__?"
Me: "Yeah, did you know him?"
R: (laughing) "He was my roommate for a semester!"
Me: "Small world..."
R: "I figured you'd know him. He and his sister are as tall as you... and you two share a sense of humor."
It's true, Scott and I play off each other the way my beloved Tim and I did. I really need to e-mail him sometime...

Once the boys finished moving the stove, David and I drove off in Beulah to refuel and get on with our night. We were both pretty tired (it was after 9), so we decided to drive around and find some place to park and talk. We settled on a church parking lot. He was a little nervous about that, but I sidled over into his arms and disabused him of such notion; since we wouldn't be fornicatin', the Lord wouldn't mind our using His property. It was nice just sitting there in his arms and talking about things in particular and nothing in particular. After a while, we decided to try to find my car and part ways. It took about 15 minutes to find our way back, then another 5 minutes to say goodbye again. He makes me look down a lot. I'm not used to the schmoopy stuff, so it's like a punch to the stomach (in a good way); it keels me over, and I can't look up. *sigh,flutter* The ride home went far too fast, but I was floating on air and have ever since....

Normally, I'd have been in a foul mood with the workload I had today, but it's passed quickly and relatively unnoticed. I had lunch with mother and told her all about my weekend. She seemed approving and was very glad that everything had been so mutual and that all that time spent in libraries as a child didn't go to waste. (Despite some of my well-meaning friends' and family's insistence that "you'll never attract a man with your nose stuck in a book....") It must be a weekend for hooking up; ss2k1 even settled down.
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