[fic] Mending the Wounds (PG) Merlin: OT3 (Arthur/Gwen/Merlin)
Title: Mending the Wounds
Author: faynia
Pairing: Arthur/Gwen, Gwen/Merlin, Arthur/Merlin, Arthur/Merlin/Gwen, OT3
Word Count: ~6,400
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers up to 2x13
Summary: Sometimes it takes one person to keep everyone together. Gwen never expected that person would be her.
Author's Note: Many thanks and hugs to grapecase for being awesome and encouraging, and to my two beta's archaeologist_d and tacitus_3.
When it began, it was by chance. Arthur was sore and bleeding, Gwen was tired and blood-stained and Merlin was already asleep by a fire that managed to retain its cheerful crackle amidst the disaster of the day. The orange glow illuminated the windows of Gwen's home but was given little consideration by the three behind them. Gwen swayed on her feet as she redid the bandage around Arthur's arm, pressing her fingertips to his swollen temple with a frustrated sigh.
She could only blink slowly as Arthur closed his hand around her wrist.
"I'm fine. You should sleep."
"And you." Gwen hid her yawn well behind a tired smile. "You need it more than I do."
"My father-"
"Can wait," Merlin mumbled, voice sleep-slurred and drowsy from his position on the floor. He rolled onto his back and Gwen spotted dried blood beneath his nose and wondered how she'd missed it before. "Now keep it down, some of us are sleeping already."
Arthur chuckled, rubbing his face and letting his exhaustion seep through for a moment before the subtle blankness settled back into place and a layer of determination closed over that. Gwen shook her head and framed his face, mindful of Merlin watching them, and stood on her tiptoes to dust a kiss over the firm line of his mouth.
"Merlin's right. If he needed you, you, oh." The yawn slipped through before she could prevent it and she buried it against the dirty linen of Arthur's tunic. "You know he'd find you, Arthur, if it was urgent. I'm sure he can wait just a few more hours. Please."
"Don't be a prat."
The tension in the air dropped when Arthur's shoulders dropped forward and he caved into Gwen, clutching her back in a way he hadn't allowed himself when he had re-entered the city. She stroked the ends of his sweat-sticky hair and guided him toward the chair situated by the fire. Merlin sat, stretching his arms high above his head as he watched and at the last second, he reached out for Arthur, and Gwen found herself sitting on the floor, tucked between two pairs of arms and slipping sideways to lay down.
She went in a daze, too tired and too warm to question how many ways this was inappropriate, not the least that Arthur was laying on the floor being cuddled-Gwen could not for the life of her think it was anything else-by two servants. Merlin was trembling and his arms were straining as if he were holding himself back, or maybe crying. Gwen wiggled her hand between their pressed bodies and found one of Merlin's and knotted their fingers together, dragging them up to lay over Arthur's broad chest.
None of them noticed the fire dying.
~*~
It was not terribly long ago that Gwen last saw Arthur standing on the balcony, observing the ebb and flow of the homeless and starving entering the courtyard of the castle. Not even a year had passed since the famine. The crowds had gathered before the castle, begging for water and food.
She heard Merlin climbing the stairs behind her and held up a hand for silence. Merlin took her outstretched hand, joining at her side. Arthur's knuckles were bruised white against the charred stone and his lips were moving in a soundless count.
"I know you're both there." Arthur flicked his hair back from his eyes and glanced over his shoulder. "Merlin, you came up the stairs like a drunken horse; even Gaius could not have missed you."
Merlin rolled his eyes and tugged Gwen out onto the open balcony, where they slotted into place on either side of Arthur. His hands remained fast on the stone. Merlin appeared to notice this at the same time, but soon he leaned forward onto his elbows and gazed out toward the outer forest, the same creeping sadness hanging around him that nagged at Gwen's conscience.
Merlin had been growing steadily depressed and moody over the course of the last few months, whatever happened during `the dragon's release had only made it a hundred times worse. While Arthur appeared grim and agitated, Merlin was tired, always tired and sad. It hurt her to look at them both for too long. Neither had been open about what occurred when they went to find the last of the Dragon lords, and they were even more closed-lipped about the defeat of the dragon in the end.
"How many are there now?" Merlin asked, trying to count the swarming heads of those seeking aid.
Gwen knew it was a pointless quest. She had tried earlier and got to thirty before questioning whether she was counting some twice. Quietly, she had been having other servants-those she once worked closest with to keep Morgana safe and comfortable-bring bread and dried fruit out to the townspeople, but the crowds were too large to do much else.
But Arthur's answer was immediate. "One hundred and twenty seven. Twelve dogs. One mule. There are ten infants, four who are with their father, not their mother. Forty-five of the one hundred and twenty seven are young children. A family of nine just entered the courtyard from the south." Arthur's jaw clenched and turned away from it. "My father won't listen to any of them."
"Arthur."
"They have no food, Guinevere, or housing and winter will not wait for those who cannot afford it. Did you know there was a frost last night?"
"I-no." Gwen worried her lower lip. "I didn't."
"Then do something about it," Merlin said. "You're going to go mad if you keep doing this to yourself. You've done it before."
"Before the castle wasn't in a state of ruin," said Arthur.
"So there's some minor damage to a few turrets and the upper chambers stink of smoke." Merlin gestured to the disorganized activity on the ground below them. "These people don't have homes. You said so yourself. They've got nothing."
Gwen stayed quiet until she was certain Arthur wasn't about to make a rebuttal and then cleared her throat. "I've seen it myself. A few of the knights have been trying to help, but there are more roofs collapsing than walls repaired and the amount of people dying-"
"I know. I know this, but there's nothing that can be done. My father won't hear of anyone helping them until the damage done to the castle and the outer walls are repaired. He's afraid of being attacked again, or worse and I've tried, do you understand, to make him let some men go and help, but it's useless."
"Yeah, well…" Merlin shrugged and looked away. Gwen sympathized with that need, finding it easier to idly pat Arthur's crossed arms than actually meet his gaze. They could talk about this until nightfall, but without plan or aid, they may as well be discussing kitchen gossip.
"Don't say anything, Merlin. I don't...." Arthur's eyes grew wide and an eerie expression of triumph lit his face. "Have you fetched my breakfast yet?"
"Eh, no. I was going to but you were...."
"Never mind that," Arthur said, wheeling around with a frightening speed. He stalked past them toward the open entry and gestured with a flick of his fingers for them to follow. "I need you and Gwen to go down to the kitchens and demand breakfast for three, get them to fill those platters with as much bread and dried fruit as you can carry at once and bring it back to my chambers."
They reached the bottom of the stairs without any further explanations being given and Gwen already had a fair number of concerns about this scheme; namely, three trays, even heavily laden, would not hold enough food for 127 people, even if 10 of those were infants, as Arthur claimed they were. She wasn't sure how to approach Arthur with these concerns; he appeared so pleased with himself and she knew how much it meant to him to have some kind of doable plan at the moment. She looked to Merlin for help, but his mouth was tightening in a grim line of pain and his eyes glistened in the flickering light.
"Right." Merlin clapped his hands together and rubbed them vigorously once Arthur had vanished from sight. "We best be off then. Can't let his royal arse go 'hungry', can we?"
"Merlin," Gwen pleaded, grabbing his coat sleeve to keep him in place. For all the enthusiasm and sarcasm he'd shoved into his previous words, Gwen knew he was feeling and thinking the same things she was; this was going to end disastrously for Arthur, no matter how good his intentions were. Who knew what would happen when things soured.
Gwen was not at all reassured.
Despite the disguises Arthur provided, or perhaps because of them, their presence didn't go unnoticed. Merlin and Gwen slipped through the crowds, finding the children and mothers with infants first, giving what they could, while Arthur simply started with the first person he found and went outward from there, tackling the problem head on as he always did. Gwen hid her smile in the folds of her cloak and sighed, bending to hand an apple over to a young girl who had been tugging on her skirt.
Once the crowd began to catch on that there were people passing out food amongst them they grew restless, calling to them and grabbing at Gwen's cloak as she moved past. Someone caught Gwen by the wrist and she shouted in surprise, turning to wrench herself free. Merlin smiled weakly and whispered something she couldn't quite understand. When she looked up, she swore his eyes glowed gold, which was foolish and likely nothing more than the sun's reflection, but the crowd that had been crushing in on them was thinning and turning away as if they were no longer there.
Merlin shook off the hood of his cloak and held a finger to his lips. Gwen nodded, just a slight movement, and her breath caught in her throat as her basket sagged under new weight. At least a dozen loaves of bread shimmered into existence where before only half a broken one remained. Her blood ran cold as she watched Merlin perform the same trick on his own basket only to then vanish into the crowd.
Gwen was jostled forward as people began to swarm back around her with eager eyes and needy hands and she found herself handing out loaf after loaf of bread to every set of hands that appeared before her, and not once did the bounty she carry lessen. She moved through the people of Camelot, her neighbors and friends, offering quick sympathetic words while her own heart constricted and throbbed. She hadn't been given time to think about it. Merlin hadn't even stayed close enough to be asked questions, as if he knew what would happen to him if he did.
Arthur had moved to the steps and was surrounded by the castle guards. A line formed before him, unsettled but willing to listen as he spoke urgently to the din. Gwen wished she could hear what he was saying, but the cheers that rang out from those who listened lightened her spirits and urged her onward even as her feet and bruised arms begged her to stop.
Once in a while, she caught Merlin staring at her from his place at Arthur's left-hand side, and that same icy feeling flooded her veins, caught under the weight of the secret he'd willingly shared with her. Arthur didn't know, or if he did, he wasn't calling Merlin out on it, even as Arthur's own basket continued to stay full to over-flowing. Soon, though, everyone was busy eating and splitting the new-found bounty amongst their families and Gwen could pick her way back to Arthur.
Merlin's face was worn thin and tired, dark bruises circling his eyes, and his unwillingness to catch neither her nor Arthur's eye told Gwen more than anything that could be said. They stayed silent behind Arthur, who stormed through the halls, back ramrod straight. While it was all Gwen could do not to trip on the skirts of her dress to keep up, she wasn't shying out of the way like many of the other servants were doing at the very sight of Arthur coming toward them.
It wasn't until they had entered Arthur's chambers, the door locking behind them, that Gwen dared to breathe.
"Can you end it?" she asked, turning toward Merlin expectantly. He jerked back as if she'd struck him and an apple tumbled out of his basket and rolled across the floor and under Arthur's table.
"I-What?"
"Guinevere!"
She sent Arthur an irritated scowl, lifting the burdensome basket up for Merlin's inspection with a sense of determination she could only attribute to her anxiety. Arthur had to know Merlin would never hurt any of them. A broken heart could mend if given the chance, and Gwen was in favor of second chances that day, but she believed, just as strongly as she could, that Merlin had never hurt any of them through his magic.
Merlin hesitated. His gaze lingering on Arthur's face, desperate and alarmed even as he stretched out a hand to chant something so soft Gwen could have fooled herself into believing it had been poetry and not a spell.
The food remained, but Merlin gestured for her to take something out of the basket, and she did so willingly. Unlike before, it wasn't immediately replaced with something new and Gwen sighed with relief.
Arthur spun on Merlin, finger nearly poking out his eye, growling, "You-"
"I'm sorry!" Merlin dropped the basket he'd been holding and his hands shot into the air as he stumbled back toward Arthur's armoire. His back bumped against it and his eyes widened impossibly. Even Arthur appeared to fumble under the intensity of Merlin's fear.
Arthur's chest heaved and his stance wavered until he stepped down and pointed toward the door. His fist clenched at his side and his gaze never lingered on Merlin for more than a second or so but Gwen saw the flinch every time he did. "Get out of my sight."
Merlin swallowed, his throat bobbing with it and he reached out with a shaking hand as if to stop Arthur from some unspeakable action, before he fled on unsteady legs, leaving Gwen alone with Arthur once the door slammed shut.
"Go after him." Arthur spoke quietly and didn't turn to face her. His head remained bowed as he ripped off the cloak and flung it sight unseen across the room.
Gwen's stomach twisted as she took a tentative step in Arthur's direction, only to halt her own progress before stretching out to him as well. Fine tremors shook his shoulders while his jaw worked over soundless words.
"I'm...," she began and then caught herself again. How could he ask her to leave him like this? Even a blind fool could tell he wasn't in a state to be left alone. "Arthur, surely you need...." He twitched, head jerking toward her and she stammered out, "I mean, yes, Sire," bobbing in and out of a curtsey she hadn't felt necessary to use around Arthur in months. She showed herself out of the room, listening for the sound of running footsteps before taking off in that same direction.
~*~
Arthur didn't send for Merlin for four days, and Merlin didn't stay around long enough to be found. Gwen accompanied him whenever she had a free moment, helping him gather herbs and the occasional bouquet of wild flowers for Gaius. She left both of them alone for the better part of it. When Merlin had asked her why she wasn't scared of him, or why she never accused him of lying to her, she found ease in telling him that she had always known he was a bit special, a bit unusual, but he had always been her friend and now it was her time to return the favor.
In those moments, Merlin would grow still and his cheeks became rosy, and even once Gwen swore he cried, but he didn't press her for more. He'd grow a flower, a marigold or a crocus, and tuck it into her wild hair with a quirky smile and she knew things between them would be all right, no matter how long it took Arthur to come around.
Gwen came to love those moments, as complicated as they were, so when Arthur called for Merlin and Gwen both to attend him in front of his father, Merlin's bleak expression shocked the breath from her. She tightened her hold on his hand while they followed a pair of knights into the throne room. Uther was alone and pacing like a caged animal, glaring at Arthur in ways she hadn't seen before. Merlin's palm grew clammy against hers and all she could do was keep squeezing to let him know she wouldn't leave.
Arthur wouldn't betray him. He wouldn’t betray either of them. She wished he would turn and reassure Merlin of that as well.
Even as they bowed and scraped before the king, Gwen kept a hold of Merlin's hand, afraid he would bolt under the pressure. Arthur needed them both there, though she wished they'd been given a reason why.
"What is this, Arthur? You told me you wanted to speak to me alone."
"I've changed my mind," Arthur said, his tone wavering between certainty and something smaller and more afraid. Merlin stiffened noticeably beside her, noticeably to her; she hoped it wasn’t as apparent to the king. It never did anyone any good to show their fear around Uther. His paranoia and mood made that dangerous.
"On what?"
"I want to take a small amount of the knights into the lower city to help them rebuild." Uther paused in his pacing and stared. His smile was torn between confusion and amusement, and Gwen swore the muscles in Arthur's shoulders bunched at the same moment. This wasn't a new argument; everyone within the castle knew Arthur had tried to get Uther to give in to his plan to no result. Why she and Merlin had to be here to witness this time escaped her. "It's been over a week, Father, and people are still living in the street and in unstable houses. They can't stay like that all winter."
"And the castle's defenses cannot remain unmanned. We've gone over this, Arthur. It's not happening."
Gwen thought Arthur would leave then and there, as he often did, and Uther had already turned in dismissal, but Arthur's arrogant, lazy drawl caught them all off-guard. "Well, why don't you give me the two guards who had been standing watch over the passageway down to the dragon's cave. As they clearly have nothing better to do."
Uther slammed his palm against his throne and the sound echoed off the vaulted ceiling. "How dare you."
"The city needs to be rebuilt," Arthur repeated with an astounding amount of patience. "We're only as strong as our people believe us to be. They're going to start to die. If we do come under attack, who's to say they won't run for those trying to destroy us."
"I won't allow it."
"You're being ridiculous." Merlin shook beside her and she wondered if it was from the same impulse to grab Arthur and stop him from speaking further before they were all thrown into the dungeons for treason. Uther had placed Arthur down there for lesser offenses. "You won't even go out and see what is happening. There are children starving and orphaned out there who don't have anything at all. Why are you treating this like it isn't happening?"
"You will hold your tongue or I will personally see to it that you are put into the stocks."
"Fine." Arthur spun on his heel, eyes flashing in the dimming afternoon light. Merlin's fingernails dug painfully into Gwen's skin, but if he was holding on that firmly, she was gripping him that much tighter. "Guinevere, Merlin, see to it that everyone camped outside our doors have enough blankets and food to last them another few nights."
"Arthur!"
Merlin bowed first, properly as if he'd always been doing it from the first day and murmured something that could have been anything, but Arthur nearly smiled and Gwen fell into a curtsy and then let Merlin take her out of the room and down the hall.
They didn't stop until they reached an empty corridor and then Gwen twisted, flinging her arms around Merlin's neck and burying her face in his shoulder.
"He keeps doing that. Merlin, he can't keep doing that or Uther will-"
"Doing what?"
Gwen didn't even hesitate to leave Merlin's loose embrace to turn into Arthur's. He swayed under the assault but held her closer than Merlin had dared. She pressed a shaky kiss to his cheek, straining on tiptoes to reach him.
"In there!" Gwen cried. "What was that?"
"I'm with Gwen on this one," Merlin added from behind her. "Why did you need us there?"
"As an escape," Arthur said, shrugging lightly, as if that was a reasonable excuse to scare them.
"Oh, well, that's wonderful, thank you."
Gwen could feel Merlin drawing away from the both of them, first mentally then physically, as if it were a chore.
"Don't-" She held out her hand to him and begged him to stay with a single glance. She couldn't begin to know what Merlin was feeling, but she could sense Arthur retreating too and Gwen wasn't sure things could ever mend if they ignored one another for much longer. "We need your help, Merlin. Right?"
Arthur nodded, slow at first and then more certain. "Right. Your…skills are going to be required for this to work. Does that thing you do work on things other than food."
"Yeah," Merlin said, running his free hand along the back of his neck. "It can. I think."
Both Arthur's eyebrows shot upward at once. "You think?"
"I haven't exactly tried it before, all right?"
"It's a good time to," Gwen said, taking the decision and impending argument away from them before they could get started. "Arthur, we can't keep standing here. I mean. If someone comes by and hears us talking about, you know, Merlin. You could get him caught."
"Maybe he wants me to," Merlin said with a small scowl.
"Do not ever presume to know what I do or do not want to happen."
"Then don't go around ignoring me for four days, leaving me to wonder if I'm not about to have my head cut off."
"Merlin, if I wanted you beheaded, I would have taken the liberty and done it myself."
Gwen covered Arthur's mouth and shook her head, keeping a strong hold on Merlin's hand. "We really shouldn't be talking about this out here."
"I'm going to talk to Gaius." Merlin gave Gwen's hand a final squeeze before releasing it. "He might know of something better to use."
"I'm coming with you," Arthur said, tone brooking no arguments and Merlin didn't put up any. Gwen rubbed her hands on the skirt of her dress and looked between the two, trying to work out what they were thinking as they stared each other down.
"I'll go and find a blanket, shall I?"
Merlin jumped to his toes and nodded. "Please?"
Gwen looked between the two boys once more, trying to ignore the uncomfortable knot forming in her stomach and went in search of the warmest and sturdiest blanket the castle could offer.
~*~
The evening gave all warnings of an early morning frost and Gwen's breath hung heavy on the air as she hurried down the steps of the castle to the shivering and drowsy people resting on the ground. She heaved the thick blankets closer to her chest as she waded in amongst the people. Arthur had barely made it down the steps before delivering the first of his magically replicated blankets and Merlin had swung a wide arch around them both, seeking out the farthest point in the courtyard to start. She watched him deliver the first of his blankets before focusing her attention on the families laying around her. None of them seemed to realize she was there.
Gwen cleared her throat, stepping closer to the first knot of people, a mother and three children and held out the blanket with a warm smile.
"Here," she said, handing it off. "Take this, please."
The mother hurried to swaddle her children in it, tugging the eldest into the middle and gather the two younger in close, and Gwen didn't hesitate to hand the mother a second blanket.
She struggled to regain balance as she stretched out of the crouch. "Keep warm."
"You as well, child."
Gwen nodded, worrying her lower lip. Cold was already seeping in through her thin shoes, but if she kept moving she knew it wouldn't become painful. Gwen had no plans to stop until everyone out here had enough blankets to stay warm throughout the night.
Merlin's path kept him as far from Arthur as possible, which wasn't hard, Gwen thought, finding Arthur deep in discussion with an older man who had set up camp with his family at the foot of the steps. It was difficult to make out his expression in the dimness of firelight. For all that Gwen knew, Arthur could be arguing, but even thinking it didn't feel right to her. Arthur's head was bent close to the man and he nodded every few seconds, spoke, then resumed the thoughtful stance he'd held before.
She sighed, knowing that she and Merlin would have to pick up the pace if Arthur was going to chat with every person he came across, and he well might. They didn't have many hours before sunrise, and she doubted Arthur wanted the King to know he had been out here doing this. Arthur always had a reason for what he did, even if he refused to share those reasons with anyone else. She would trust that he knew what he was doing now and go on handing out blankets like she hadn't noticed what he was doing.
Her fears that they wouldn't get to everyone before sunrise was unfounded. The sun had yet to rise when she rejoined Arthur and Merlin and they headed back into the castle for sleep.
~*~
Nearly half the day went wasted waiting for Arthur to reveal what he had stayed in discussion about for much of the previous night. To her great surprise, Uther hadn't called for Arthur either, despite it being plainly obvious that Arthur had somehow been behind the distribution blankets the night before. Gwen was carefully folding away the last of the linens for Morgana's chambers when someone knocked at the door.
"Gwen?"
Merlin peeked around the door and smiled, calming Gwen's racing heart. No matter how many weeks passed without Morgana in this room, she always hoped that whoever knocked would be her Lady. She had almost fallen into an instinctive curtsey, before Merlin had called out.
She gestured for him to enter. "Yes?"
"Arthur wants us."
She slipped past him without waiting to hear why.
As it turned out, Arthur did have a reason for spending his night in conversation. A map of the city laid along the table and Arthur was marking places along the lower city with large circles when she entered. She stood across from the table, acknowledging Merlin joining them with her hand facing palm up for him to take. Neither of them spoke until Arthur did, and what he told them left Gwen wondering if Arthur had managed any sleep at all.
They were going to help rebuild a few of the larger homes on the outskirts of the city where the damage was severe and the help limited. Gwen frowned at the map, wondering if they were supposed to give aid to all of those people, or if Arthur merely hoped some of the knights would follow him, regardless of Uther's direct orders.
"Tomorrow, we're going to help these people." Arthur pointed at one of the largest circles on the map. "I've talked with the owner and he assured me once it was rebuilt he would house as many of his neighbors as possible. I'm going to need you both."
Merlin walked around the table to stand beside Arthur and he examined the map for a mute second. "Yeah, but do we have enough supplies?"
"We have you."
Merlin paled and nodded.
The next day Gwen found herself running short errands for tools and other provisions while Arthur helped clear rubbish with a handful of able-bodied men and Merlin kept the children entertained with wildly exaggerated stories of his childhood in Ealdor.
Gwen shook her head, squeezing his shoulder as she passed by him on her way back to Arthur's side.
"The King's going to be furious," she said, handing him another hammer.
Arthur's features darkened and he slammed a nail into the shaky wall with great force before responding, "You're probably right. He can throw me in the dungeons if that's what he'd prefer. I'm not stopping, Guinevere. Do you want me to?"
"No." She found she truly didn't.
By midday, the repaired wall was ready to be lifted into place and she and Merlin had been roped into helping the others make sure it fell safely back into place. It was only one wall, but it was one wall more than the three families that once inhabited the house had early that morning.
She ought to have been paying better attention.
A rope snapped early and the wall wavered, caught in invisible wind and not even Arthur's distant shout of horror made her feet move fast enough. Sound rushed past her ears in a loud hum. Someone gave her a rough shove from the side and she wheeled backward, falling precious centimeters from where the wall smashed into the earth with a loud crack.
She heard Arthur's voice first, his hoarse cry rattling around her head, and it was then that she looked over to see who had shoved her and saw Merlin's dirt streaked face by her legs. His own legs were trapped beneath the pile of wood and he smiled at her. He smiled at her as if that was a perfectly natural place for his legs to be. Frigid water hit her veins with a splash and her stomach turned at the sight of blood staining the sanded wood.
Arthur skidded to a halt by Merlin's side, dropped to his knees and swore loudly for all to hear. His muscles bulged as he grabbed the edge of the wall and wrenched it upward just enough for the pressure to ease on Merlin's legs. Merlin didn't budge, his smile twisting into a grimace, but Gwen suddenly discovered that she could move and took Merlin by the shoulders, pulling him half onto her lap so his legs slid free right as Arthur's strength gave out and the wall fell from his hands.
Gwen stroked Merlin's hair from his face and shook her head back and forth helplessly. Had Merlin been any further under, the consequences were unthinkable and the protest that rose to her lips when Arthur yanked Merlin from her arms quieted by the gentle way Arthur cradled him, whispering something fast and furious into Merlin's ear. His hands trembled over Merlin's arms. Gwen wasn't sure who lurched first, Arthur or Merlin, but their arms bent and locked and then they had one another pinned in a fierce hug with no space for air between them.
She covered her mouth with her hand to hide a fond grin and rose onto unsteady feet. They would need to spend another hour or so to repair the damage done this time, but the damage done to Merlin's legs might not be fixed quite so easily. From where she stood, Merlin had a deep gash straight down to the bone on one leg and the other was bent in a strange direction that made Gwen's stomach lurch. That could have been her.
It could have been so much worse for both of them. Arthur stood without her noticing and cupped her chin with his dirty, blood-soaked hand and kissed her firmly on the forehead.
"He needs to see Gaius," Arthur said, tangling his fingers within her loosened hair. "I need you to stay here, Gwen. They’re going to try and lift the wall before nightfall."
"I'll stay, but Merlin-"
"I'll take care of him." Gwen nodded and tried not to think of what that could mean. "Come and find me when they're finished here."
"Yes, my lord. Arthur."
Arthur frowned, stroking his thumb over her cheek, before turning to where Merlin was struggling to sit properly. He bent and hauled Merlin up into his arms like one would a small child, slinging him over his shoulders, and he began to make his way at a clipped pace back toward the castle.
Gwen knew Gaius could heal Merlin's legs given time. She hoped between the three of them, one would think to make Arthur wash his hands and Merlin his legs and face before she returned.
~*~
Gaius wasn't in his rooms when Gwen rushed back into the castle. She knew this because he met her on the stairs. His eyebrows knitted a tight line across his forehead and Gwen wondered what had happened, favoring him with a hopeful smile, before racing in the direction of his chambers.
She hovered outside the door to Gaius' chambers, wincing at the raised voices within. Arthur shouted something so loudly the handle of the door rattled and it wasn't until something smashed against the wall that Gwen dared to enter the room.
"Is everything all-"
Arthur had Merlin by the scrap of cloth around his neck and was, well, he and Merlin had been-It was a bit interesting how there were scuff marks on the floor from Arthur's boots. Silence pervaded the room, itching along her skin until someone, Arthur, no, Merlin, rested a hand on her shoulder and cradled her face with the other. Stunned, she gazed down at his legs, which were black and blue through the rip in his trousers, but otherwise unharmed.
"I should have knocked," she offered with a weak smile, unable to bring her gaze up to meet his eyes or to tear her eyes from his healed legs.
Merlin tipped her head back, thumb brushing over her cheek in a gentle pass. "We were waiting for you to come back," he said. "We've been talking about how things weren't working and how to make them better. You know."
"Things? I don't know if I understand."
"Here." Arthur took her hand, pulling her away from Merlin's fragile hold and leading her up the few steps to Merlin's messy room. Arthur kicked aside a shirt with a disgusted frown. "Do you ever clean? I know you have a cupboard, Merlin, we've been over it at length. I wasn't saying it to be funny."
"No, of course not, sire," Merlin agreed readily with a large but affectionate smile. Gwen wondered if she'd somehow missed something important, aside from the obvious that was, because Merlin appeared to be acting almost…normal, for Merlin at least. "But you see, after spending a whole day scrubbing mud from your armor, a few shirts on my floor isn't something to bother with."
Arthur snorted and led Gwen over to Merlin's narrow bed, seating them both in one movement. If Morgana were here, and safe, she would have something witty or clever to say and everyone would breathe easier. But Gwen was not Morgana, nor could she pretend to be, so awkward quiet came down like a curtain.
Tears pressed against the corner of her eyes, burning them red, and she shuddered with each new inhale, fighting not to cry, fighting to be as stable and calm as her boys needed her to be, because they would fall apart as they had been doing for weeks, if she couldn't remain between them, locking them back together again.
Arthur wound his arm around her shoulder, suffocating her in warmth. Merlin crouched by her knees, catching her eyes every time she dared look at him. She didn't know what they wanted from her. They seemed perfectly happy now that everything was out in the open. What place did she have there? Arthur lightly kissed the top of her head and she leaned into his side, so very tired.
"What's wrong?" Merlin asked while swiping at the corner of her eyes with his thumbs. He didn't appear to be bothered by the way Arthur had tucked her head beneath his chin, or the way his arms were around her. The thing that seemed to concern him was her, all his focus was on her; it was like he couldn't see Arthur on the other side of her. His hands framed her face, brushing stray curls from her forehead and she almost missed it, the moment he pushed forward and his lips were on hers for the briefest moment as he joined them on the bed.
Folding along the bed came naturally, even the slight expansion of the frame to fit them all didn't shock her as she clutched at Merlin's jacket and buried her face against his neck.
As much as she thought they needed her, she needed them more.
The second time was not by chance. No one was bleeding and death did not lurk just beyond the door. There were no fires and no mothers crying out for their lost children. It was the three of them seeking comfort in body heat and gentle touches.
When Gaius came to shut the door, not one of them noticed.
Author: faynia
Pairing: Arthur/Gwen, Gwen/Merlin, Arthur/Merlin, Arthur/Merlin/Gwen, OT3
Word Count: ~6,400
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers up to 2x13
Summary: Sometimes it takes one person to keep everyone together. Gwen never expected that person would be her.
Author's Note: Many thanks and hugs to grapecase for being awesome and encouraging, and to my two beta's archaeologist_d and tacitus_3.
When it began, it was by chance. Arthur was sore and bleeding, Gwen was tired and blood-stained and Merlin was already asleep by a fire that managed to retain its cheerful crackle amidst the disaster of the day. The orange glow illuminated the windows of Gwen's home but was given little consideration by the three behind them. Gwen swayed on her feet as she redid the bandage around Arthur's arm, pressing her fingertips to his swollen temple with a frustrated sigh.
She could only blink slowly as Arthur closed his hand around her wrist.
"I'm fine. You should sleep."
"And you." Gwen hid her yawn well behind a tired smile. "You need it more than I do."
"My father-"
"Can wait," Merlin mumbled, voice sleep-slurred and drowsy from his position on the floor. He rolled onto his back and Gwen spotted dried blood beneath his nose and wondered how she'd missed it before. "Now keep it down, some of us are sleeping already."
Arthur chuckled, rubbing his face and letting his exhaustion seep through for a moment before the subtle blankness settled back into place and a layer of determination closed over that. Gwen shook her head and framed his face, mindful of Merlin watching them, and stood on her tiptoes to dust a kiss over the firm line of his mouth.
"Merlin's right. If he needed you, you, oh." The yawn slipped through before she could prevent it and she buried it against the dirty linen of Arthur's tunic. "You know he'd find you, Arthur, if it was urgent. I'm sure he can wait just a few more hours. Please."
"Don't be a prat."
The tension in the air dropped when Arthur's shoulders dropped forward and he caved into Gwen, clutching her back in a way he hadn't allowed himself when he had re-entered the city. She stroked the ends of his sweat-sticky hair and guided him toward the chair situated by the fire. Merlin sat, stretching his arms high above his head as he watched and at the last second, he reached out for Arthur, and Gwen found herself sitting on the floor, tucked between two pairs of arms and slipping sideways to lay down.
She went in a daze, too tired and too warm to question how many ways this was inappropriate, not the least that Arthur was laying on the floor being cuddled-Gwen could not for the life of her think it was anything else-by two servants. Merlin was trembling and his arms were straining as if he were holding himself back, or maybe crying. Gwen wiggled her hand between their pressed bodies and found one of Merlin's and knotted their fingers together, dragging them up to lay over Arthur's broad chest.
None of them noticed the fire dying.
~*~
It was not terribly long ago that Gwen last saw Arthur standing on the balcony, observing the ebb and flow of the homeless and starving entering the courtyard of the castle. Not even a year had passed since the famine. The crowds had gathered before the castle, begging for water and food.
She heard Merlin climbing the stairs behind her and held up a hand for silence. Merlin took her outstretched hand, joining at her side. Arthur's knuckles were bruised white against the charred stone and his lips were moving in a soundless count.
"I know you're both there." Arthur flicked his hair back from his eyes and glanced over his shoulder. "Merlin, you came up the stairs like a drunken horse; even Gaius could not have missed you."
Merlin rolled his eyes and tugged Gwen out onto the open balcony, where they slotted into place on either side of Arthur. His hands remained fast on the stone. Merlin appeared to notice this at the same time, but soon he leaned forward onto his elbows and gazed out toward the outer forest, the same creeping sadness hanging around him that nagged at Gwen's conscience.
Merlin had been growing steadily depressed and moody over the course of the last few months, whatever happened during `the dragon's release had only made it a hundred times worse. While Arthur appeared grim and agitated, Merlin was tired, always tired and sad. It hurt her to look at them both for too long. Neither had been open about what occurred when they went to find the last of the Dragon lords, and they were even more closed-lipped about the defeat of the dragon in the end.
"How many are there now?" Merlin asked, trying to count the swarming heads of those seeking aid.
Gwen knew it was a pointless quest. She had tried earlier and got to thirty before questioning whether she was counting some twice. Quietly, she had been having other servants-those she once worked closest with to keep Morgana safe and comfortable-bring bread and dried fruit out to the townspeople, but the crowds were too large to do much else.
But Arthur's answer was immediate. "One hundred and twenty seven. Twelve dogs. One mule. There are ten infants, four who are with their father, not their mother. Forty-five of the one hundred and twenty seven are young children. A family of nine just entered the courtyard from the south." Arthur's jaw clenched and turned away from it. "My father won't listen to any of them."
"Arthur."
"They have no food, Guinevere, or housing and winter will not wait for those who cannot afford it. Did you know there was a frost last night?"
"I-no." Gwen worried her lower lip. "I didn't."
"Then do something about it," Merlin said. "You're going to go mad if you keep doing this to yourself. You've done it before."
"Before the castle wasn't in a state of ruin," said Arthur.
"So there's some minor damage to a few turrets and the upper chambers stink of smoke." Merlin gestured to the disorganized activity on the ground below them. "These people don't have homes. You said so yourself. They've got nothing."
Gwen stayed quiet until she was certain Arthur wasn't about to make a rebuttal and then cleared her throat. "I've seen it myself. A few of the knights have been trying to help, but there are more roofs collapsing than walls repaired and the amount of people dying-"
"I know. I know this, but there's nothing that can be done. My father won't hear of anyone helping them until the damage done to the castle and the outer walls are repaired. He's afraid of being attacked again, or worse and I've tried, do you understand, to make him let some men go and help, but it's useless."
"Yeah, well…" Merlin shrugged and looked away. Gwen sympathized with that need, finding it easier to idly pat Arthur's crossed arms than actually meet his gaze. They could talk about this until nightfall, but without plan or aid, they may as well be discussing kitchen gossip.
"Don't say anything, Merlin. I don't...." Arthur's eyes grew wide and an eerie expression of triumph lit his face. "Have you fetched my breakfast yet?"
"Eh, no. I was going to but you were...."
"Never mind that," Arthur said, wheeling around with a frightening speed. He stalked past them toward the open entry and gestured with a flick of his fingers for them to follow. "I need you and Gwen to go down to the kitchens and demand breakfast for three, get them to fill those platters with as much bread and dried fruit as you can carry at once and bring it back to my chambers."
They reached the bottom of the stairs without any further explanations being given and Gwen already had a fair number of concerns about this scheme; namely, three trays, even heavily laden, would not hold enough food for 127 people, even if 10 of those were infants, as Arthur claimed they were. She wasn't sure how to approach Arthur with these concerns; he appeared so pleased with himself and she knew how much it meant to him to have some kind of doable plan at the moment. She looked to Merlin for help, but his mouth was tightening in a grim line of pain and his eyes glistened in the flickering light.
"Right." Merlin clapped his hands together and rubbed them vigorously once Arthur had vanished from sight. "We best be off then. Can't let his royal arse go 'hungry', can we?"
"Merlin," Gwen pleaded, grabbing his coat sleeve to keep him in place. For all the enthusiasm and sarcasm he'd shoved into his previous words, Gwen knew he was feeling and thinking the same things she was; this was going to end disastrously for Arthur, no matter how good his intentions were. Who knew what would happen when things soured.
Gwen was not at all reassured.
Despite the disguises Arthur provided, or perhaps because of them, their presence didn't go unnoticed. Merlin and Gwen slipped through the crowds, finding the children and mothers with infants first, giving what they could, while Arthur simply started with the first person he found and went outward from there, tackling the problem head on as he always did. Gwen hid her smile in the folds of her cloak and sighed, bending to hand an apple over to a young girl who had been tugging on her skirt.
Once the crowd began to catch on that there were people passing out food amongst them they grew restless, calling to them and grabbing at Gwen's cloak as she moved past. Someone caught Gwen by the wrist and she shouted in surprise, turning to wrench herself free. Merlin smiled weakly and whispered something she couldn't quite understand. When she looked up, she swore his eyes glowed gold, which was foolish and likely nothing more than the sun's reflection, but the crowd that had been crushing in on them was thinning and turning away as if they were no longer there.
Merlin shook off the hood of his cloak and held a finger to his lips. Gwen nodded, just a slight movement, and her breath caught in her throat as her basket sagged under new weight. At least a dozen loaves of bread shimmered into existence where before only half a broken one remained. Her blood ran cold as she watched Merlin perform the same trick on his own basket only to then vanish into the crowd.
Gwen was jostled forward as people began to swarm back around her with eager eyes and needy hands and she found herself handing out loaf after loaf of bread to every set of hands that appeared before her, and not once did the bounty she carry lessen. She moved through the people of Camelot, her neighbors and friends, offering quick sympathetic words while her own heart constricted and throbbed. She hadn't been given time to think about it. Merlin hadn't even stayed close enough to be asked questions, as if he knew what would happen to him if he did.
Arthur had moved to the steps and was surrounded by the castle guards. A line formed before him, unsettled but willing to listen as he spoke urgently to the din. Gwen wished she could hear what he was saying, but the cheers that rang out from those who listened lightened her spirits and urged her onward even as her feet and bruised arms begged her to stop.
Once in a while, she caught Merlin staring at her from his place at Arthur's left-hand side, and that same icy feeling flooded her veins, caught under the weight of the secret he'd willingly shared with her. Arthur didn't know, or if he did, he wasn't calling Merlin out on it, even as Arthur's own basket continued to stay full to over-flowing. Soon, though, everyone was busy eating and splitting the new-found bounty amongst their families and Gwen could pick her way back to Arthur.
Merlin's face was worn thin and tired, dark bruises circling his eyes, and his unwillingness to catch neither her nor Arthur's eye told Gwen more than anything that could be said. They stayed silent behind Arthur, who stormed through the halls, back ramrod straight. While it was all Gwen could do not to trip on the skirts of her dress to keep up, she wasn't shying out of the way like many of the other servants were doing at the very sight of Arthur coming toward them.
It wasn't until they had entered Arthur's chambers, the door locking behind them, that Gwen dared to breathe.
"Can you end it?" she asked, turning toward Merlin expectantly. He jerked back as if she'd struck him and an apple tumbled out of his basket and rolled across the floor and under Arthur's table.
"I-What?"
"Guinevere!"
She sent Arthur an irritated scowl, lifting the burdensome basket up for Merlin's inspection with a sense of determination she could only attribute to her anxiety. Arthur had to know Merlin would never hurt any of them. A broken heart could mend if given the chance, and Gwen was in favor of second chances that day, but she believed, just as strongly as she could, that Merlin had never hurt any of them through his magic.
Merlin hesitated. His gaze lingering on Arthur's face, desperate and alarmed even as he stretched out a hand to chant something so soft Gwen could have fooled herself into believing it had been poetry and not a spell.
The food remained, but Merlin gestured for her to take something out of the basket, and she did so willingly. Unlike before, it wasn't immediately replaced with something new and Gwen sighed with relief.
Arthur spun on Merlin, finger nearly poking out his eye, growling, "You-"
"I'm sorry!" Merlin dropped the basket he'd been holding and his hands shot into the air as he stumbled back toward Arthur's armoire. His back bumped against it and his eyes widened impossibly. Even Arthur appeared to fumble under the intensity of Merlin's fear.
Arthur's chest heaved and his stance wavered until he stepped down and pointed toward the door. His fist clenched at his side and his gaze never lingered on Merlin for more than a second or so but Gwen saw the flinch every time he did. "Get out of my sight."
Merlin swallowed, his throat bobbing with it and he reached out with a shaking hand as if to stop Arthur from some unspeakable action, before he fled on unsteady legs, leaving Gwen alone with Arthur once the door slammed shut.
"Go after him." Arthur spoke quietly and didn't turn to face her. His head remained bowed as he ripped off the cloak and flung it sight unseen across the room.
Gwen's stomach twisted as she took a tentative step in Arthur's direction, only to halt her own progress before stretching out to him as well. Fine tremors shook his shoulders while his jaw worked over soundless words.
"I'm...," she began and then caught herself again. How could he ask her to leave him like this? Even a blind fool could tell he wasn't in a state to be left alone. "Arthur, surely you need...." He twitched, head jerking toward her and she stammered out, "I mean, yes, Sire," bobbing in and out of a curtsey she hadn't felt necessary to use around Arthur in months. She showed herself out of the room, listening for the sound of running footsteps before taking off in that same direction.
~*~
Arthur didn't send for Merlin for four days, and Merlin didn't stay around long enough to be found. Gwen accompanied him whenever she had a free moment, helping him gather herbs and the occasional bouquet of wild flowers for Gaius. She left both of them alone for the better part of it. When Merlin had asked her why she wasn't scared of him, or why she never accused him of lying to her, she found ease in telling him that she had always known he was a bit special, a bit unusual, but he had always been her friend and now it was her time to return the favor.
In those moments, Merlin would grow still and his cheeks became rosy, and even once Gwen swore he cried, but he didn't press her for more. He'd grow a flower, a marigold or a crocus, and tuck it into her wild hair with a quirky smile and she knew things between them would be all right, no matter how long it took Arthur to come around.
Gwen came to love those moments, as complicated as they were, so when Arthur called for Merlin and Gwen both to attend him in front of his father, Merlin's bleak expression shocked the breath from her. She tightened her hold on his hand while they followed a pair of knights into the throne room. Uther was alone and pacing like a caged animal, glaring at Arthur in ways she hadn't seen before. Merlin's palm grew clammy against hers and all she could do was keep squeezing to let him know she wouldn't leave.
Arthur wouldn't betray him. He wouldn’t betray either of them. She wished he would turn and reassure Merlin of that as well.
Even as they bowed and scraped before the king, Gwen kept a hold of Merlin's hand, afraid he would bolt under the pressure. Arthur needed them both there, though she wished they'd been given a reason why.
"What is this, Arthur? You told me you wanted to speak to me alone."
"I've changed my mind," Arthur said, his tone wavering between certainty and something smaller and more afraid. Merlin stiffened noticeably beside her, noticeably to her; she hoped it wasn’t as apparent to the king. It never did anyone any good to show their fear around Uther. His paranoia and mood made that dangerous.
"On what?"
"I want to take a small amount of the knights into the lower city to help them rebuild." Uther paused in his pacing and stared. His smile was torn between confusion and amusement, and Gwen swore the muscles in Arthur's shoulders bunched at the same moment. This wasn't a new argument; everyone within the castle knew Arthur had tried to get Uther to give in to his plan to no result. Why she and Merlin had to be here to witness this time escaped her. "It's been over a week, Father, and people are still living in the street and in unstable houses. They can't stay like that all winter."
"And the castle's defenses cannot remain unmanned. We've gone over this, Arthur. It's not happening."
Gwen thought Arthur would leave then and there, as he often did, and Uther had already turned in dismissal, but Arthur's arrogant, lazy drawl caught them all off-guard. "Well, why don't you give me the two guards who had been standing watch over the passageway down to the dragon's cave. As they clearly have nothing better to do."
Uther slammed his palm against his throne and the sound echoed off the vaulted ceiling. "How dare you."
"The city needs to be rebuilt," Arthur repeated with an astounding amount of patience. "We're only as strong as our people believe us to be. They're going to start to die. If we do come under attack, who's to say they won't run for those trying to destroy us."
"I won't allow it."
"You're being ridiculous." Merlin shook beside her and she wondered if it was from the same impulse to grab Arthur and stop him from speaking further before they were all thrown into the dungeons for treason. Uther had placed Arthur down there for lesser offenses. "You won't even go out and see what is happening. There are children starving and orphaned out there who don't have anything at all. Why are you treating this like it isn't happening?"
"You will hold your tongue or I will personally see to it that you are put into the stocks."
"Fine." Arthur spun on his heel, eyes flashing in the dimming afternoon light. Merlin's fingernails dug painfully into Gwen's skin, but if he was holding on that firmly, she was gripping him that much tighter. "Guinevere, Merlin, see to it that everyone camped outside our doors have enough blankets and food to last them another few nights."
"Arthur!"
Merlin bowed first, properly as if he'd always been doing it from the first day and murmured something that could have been anything, but Arthur nearly smiled and Gwen fell into a curtsy and then let Merlin take her out of the room and down the hall.
They didn't stop until they reached an empty corridor and then Gwen twisted, flinging her arms around Merlin's neck and burying her face in his shoulder.
"He keeps doing that. Merlin, he can't keep doing that or Uther will-"
"Doing what?"
Gwen didn't even hesitate to leave Merlin's loose embrace to turn into Arthur's. He swayed under the assault but held her closer than Merlin had dared. She pressed a shaky kiss to his cheek, straining on tiptoes to reach him.
"In there!" Gwen cried. "What was that?"
"I'm with Gwen on this one," Merlin added from behind her. "Why did you need us there?"
"As an escape," Arthur said, shrugging lightly, as if that was a reasonable excuse to scare them.
"Oh, well, that's wonderful, thank you."
Gwen could feel Merlin drawing away from the both of them, first mentally then physically, as if it were a chore.
"Don't-" She held out her hand to him and begged him to stay with a single glance. She couldn't begin to know what Merlin was feeling, but she could sense Arthur retreating too and Gwen wasn't sure things could ever mend if they ignored one another for much longer. "We need your help, Merlin. Right?"
Arthur nodded, slow at first and then more certain. "Right. Your…skills are going to be required for this to work. Does that thing you do work on things other than food."
"Yeah," Merlin said, running his free hand along the back of his neck. "It can. I think."
Both Arthur's eyebrows shot upward at once. "You think?"
"I haven't exactly tried it before, all right?"
"It's a good time to," Gwen said, taking the decision and impending argument away from them before they could get started. "Arthur, we can't keep standing here. I mean. If someone comes by and hears us talking about, you know, Merlin. You could get him caught."
"Maybe he wants me to," Merlin said with a small scowl.
"Do not ever presume to know what I do or do not want to happen."
"Then don't go around ignoring me for four days, leaving me to wonder if I'm not about to have my head cut off."
"Merlin, if I wanted you beheaded, I would have taken the liberty and done it myself."
Gwen covered Arthur's mouth and shook her head, keeping a strong hold on Merlin's hand. "We really shouldn't be talking about this out here."
"I'm going to talk to Gaius." Merlin gave Gwen's hand a final squeeze before releasing it. "He might know of something better to use."
"I'm coming with you," Arthur said, tone brooking no arguments and Merlin didn't put up any. Gwen rubbed her hands on the skirt of her dress and looked between the two, trying to work out what they were thinking as they stared each other down.
"I'll go and find a blanket, shall I?"
Merlin jumped to his toes and nodded. "Please?"
Gwen looked between the two boys once more, trying to ignore the uncomfortable knot forming in her stomach and went in search of the warmest and sturdiest blanket the castle could offer.
~*~
The evening gave all warnings of an early morning frost and Gwen's breath hung heavy on the air as she hurried down the steps of the castle to the shivering and drowsy people resting on the ground. She heaved the thick blankets closer to her chest as she waded in amongst the people. Arthur had barely made it down the steps before delivering the first of his magically replicated blankets and Merlin had swung a wide arch around them both, seeking out the farthest point in the courtyard to start. She watched him deliver the first of his blankets before focusing her attention on the families laying around her. None of them seemed to realize she was there.
Gwen cleared her throat, stepping closer to the first knot of people, a mother and three children and held out the blanket with a warm smile.
"Here," she said, handing it off. "Take this, please."
The mother hurried to swaddle her children in it, tugging the eldest into the middle and gather the two younger in close, and Gwen didn't hesitate to hand the mother a second blanket.
She struggled to regain balance as she stretched out of the crouch. "Keep warm."
"You as well, child."
Gwen nodded, worrying her lower lip. Cold was already seeping in through her thin shoes, but if she kept moving she knew it wouldn't become painful. Gwen had no plans to stop until everyone out here had enough blankets to stay warm throughout the night.
Merlin's path kept him as far from Arthur as possible, which wasn't hard, Gwen thought, finding Arthur deep in discussion with an older man who had set up camp with his family at the foot of the steps. It was difficult to make out his expression in the dimness of firelight. For all that Gwen knew, Arthur could be arguing, but even thinking it didn't feel right to her. Arthur's head was bent close to the man and he nodded every few seconds, spoke, then resumed the thoughtful stance he'd held before.
She sighed, knowing that she and Merlin would have to pick up the pace if Arthur was going to chat with every person he came across, and he well might. They didn't have many hours before sunrise, and she doubted Arthur wanted the King to know he had been out here doing this. Arthur always had a reason for what he did, even if he refused to share those reasons with anyone else. She would trust that he knew what he was doing now and go on handing out blankets like she hadn't noticed what he was doing.
Her fears that they wouldn't get to everyone before sunrise was unfounded. The sun had yet to rise when she rejoined Arthur and Merlin and they headed back into the castle for sleep.
~*~
Nearly half the day went wasted waiting for Arthur to reveal what he had stayed in discussion about for much of the previous night. To her great surprise, Uther hadn't called for Arthur either, despite it being plainly obvious that Arthur had somehow been behind the distribution blankets the night before. Gwen was carefully folding away the last of the linens for Morgana's chambers when someone knocked at the door.
"Gwen?"
Merlin peeked around the door and smiled, calming Gwen's racing heart. No matter how many weeks passed without Morgana in this room, she always hoped that whoever knocked would be her Lady. She had almost fallen into an instinctive curtsey, before Merlin had called out.
She gestured for him to enter. "Yes?"
"Arthur wants us."
She slipped past him without waiting to hear why.
As it turned out, Arthur did have a reason for spending his night in conversation. A map of the city laid along the table and Arthur was marking places along the lower city with large circles when she entered. She stood across from the table, acknowledging Merlin joining them with her hand facing palm up for him to take. Neither of them spoke until Arthur did, and what he told them left Gwen wondering if Arthur had managed any sleep at all.
They were going to help rebuild a few of the larger homes on the outskirts of the city where the damage was severe and the help limited. Gwen frowned at the map, wondering if they were supposed to give aid to all of those people, or if Arthur merely hoped some of the knights would follow him, regardless of Uther's direct orders.
"Tomorrow, we're going to help these people." Arthur pointed at one of the largest circles on the map. "I've talked with the owner and he assured me once it was rebuilt he would house as many of his neighbors as possible. I'm going to need you both."
Merlin walked around the table to stand beside Arthur and he examined the map for a mute second. "Yeah, but do we have enough supplies?"
"We have you."
Merlin paled and nodded.
The next day Gwen found herself running short errands for tools and other provisions while Arthur helped clear rubbish with a handful of able-bodied men and Merlin kept the children entertained with wildly exaggerated stories of his childhood in Ealdor.
Gwen shook her head, squeezing his shoulder as she passed by him on her way back to Arthur's side.
"The King's going to be furious," she said, handing him another hammer.
Arthur's features darkened and he slammed a nail into the shaky wall with great force before responding, "You're probably right. He can throw me in the dungeons if that's what he'd prefer. I'm not stopping, Guinevere. Do you want me to?"
"No." She found she truly didn't.
By midday, the repaired wall was ready to be lifted into place and she and Merlin had been roped into helping the others make sure it fell safely back into place. It was only one wall, but it was one wall more than the three families that once inhabited the house had early that morning.
She ought to have been paying better attention.
A rope snapped early and the wall wavered, caught in invisible wind and not even Arthur's distant shout of horror made her feet move fast enough. Sound rushed past her ears in a loud hum. Someone gave her a rough shove from the side and she wheeled backward, falling precious centimeters from where the wall smashed into the earth with a loud crack.
She heard Arthur's voice first, his hoarse cry rattling around her head, and it was then that she looked over to see who had shoved her and saw Merlin's dirt streaked face by her legs. His own legs were trapped beneath the pile of wood and he smiled at her. He smiled at her as if that was a perfectly natural place for his legs to be. Frigid water hit her veins with a splash and her stomach turned at the sight of blood staining the sanded wood.
Arthur skidded to a halt by Merlin's side, dropped to his knees and swore loudly for all to hear. His muscles bulged as he grabbed the edge of the wall and wrenched it upward just enough for the pressure to ease on Merlin's legs. Merlin didn't budge, his smile twisting into a grimace, but Gwen suddenly discovered that she could move and took Merlin by the shoulders, pulling him half onto her lap so his legs slid free right as Arthur's strength gave out and the wall fell from his hands.
Gwen stroked Merlin's hair from his face and shook her head back and forth helplessly. Had Merlin been any further under, the consequences were unthinkable and the protest that rose to her lips when Arthur yanked Merlin from her arms quieted by the gentle way Arthur cradled him, whispering something fast and furious into Merlin's ear. His hands trembled over Merlin's arms. Gwen wasn't sure who lurched first, Arthur or Merlin, but their arms bent and locked and then they had one another pinned in a fierce hug with no space for air between them.
She covered her mouth with her hand to hide a fond grin and rose onto unsteady feet. They would need to spend another hour or so to repair the damage done this time, but the damage done to Merlin's legs might not be fixed quite so easily. From where she stood, Merlin had a deep gash straight down to the bone on one leg and the other was bent in a strange direction that made Gwen's stomach lurch. That could have been her.
It could have been so much worse for both of them. Arthur stood without her noticing and cupped her chin with his dirty, blood-soaked hand and kissed her firmly on the forehead.
"He needs to see Gaius," Arthur said, tangling his fingers within her loosened hair. "I need you to stay here, Gwen. They’re going to try and lift the wall before nightfall."
"I'll stay, but Merlin-"
"I'll take care of him." Gwen nodded and tried not to think of what that could mean. "Come and find me when they're finished here."
"Yes, my lord. Arthur."
Arthur frowned, stroking his thumb over her cheek, before turning to where Merlin was struggling to sit properly. He bent and hauled Merlin up into his arms like one would a small child, slinging him over his shoulders, and he began to make his way at a clipped pace back toward the castle.
Gwen knew Gaius could heal Merlin's legs given time. She hoped between the three of them, one would think to make Arthur wash his hands and Merlin his legs and face before she returned.
~*~
Gaius wasn't in his rooms when Gwen rushed back into the castle. She knew this because he met her on the stairs. His eyebrows knitted a tight line across his forehead and Gwen wondered what had happened, favoring him with a hopeful smile, before racing in the direction of his chambers.
She hovered outside the door to Gaius' chambers, wincing at the raised voices within. Arthur shouted something so loudly the handle of the door rattled and it wasn't until something smashed against the wall that Gwen dared to enter the room.
"Is everything all-"
Arthur had Merlin by the scrap of cloth around his neck and was, well, he and Merlin had been-It was a bit interesting how there were scuff marks on the floor from Arthur's boots. Silence pervaded the room, itching along her skin until someone, Arthur, no, Merlin, rested a hand on her shoulder and cradled her face with the other. Stunned, she gazed down at his legs, which were black and blue through the rip in his trousers, but otherwise unharmed.
"I should have knocked," she offered with a weak smile, unable to bring her gaze up to meet his eyes or to tear her eyes from his healed legs.
Merlin tipped her head back, thumb brushing over her cheek in a gentle pass. "We were waiting for you to come back," he said. "We've been talking about how things weren't working and how to make them better. You know."
"Things? I don't know if I understand."
"Here." Arthur took her hand, pulling her away from Merlin's fragile hold and leading her up the few steps to Merlin's messy room. Arthur kicked aside a shirt with a disgusted frown. "Do you ever clean? I know you have a cupboard, Merlin, we've been over it at length. I wasn't saying it to be funny."
"No, of course not, sire," Merlin agreed readily with a large but affectionate smile. Gwen wondered if she'd somehow missed something important, aside from the obvious that was, because Merlin appeared to be acting almost…normal, for Merlin at least. "But you see, after spending a whole day scrubbing mud from your armor, a few shirts on my floor isn't something to bother with."
Arthur snorted and led Gwen over to Merlin's narrow bed, seating them both in one movement. If Morgana were here, and safe, she would have something witty or clever to say and everyone would breathe easier. But Gwen was not Morgana, nor could she pretend to be, so awkward quiet came down like a curtain.
Tears pressed against the corner of her eyes, burning them red, and she shuddered with each new inhale, fighting not to cry, fighting to be as stable and calm as her boys needed her to be, because they would fall apart as they had been doing for weeks, if she couldn't remain between them, locking them back together again.
Arthur wound his arm around her shoulder, suffocating her in warmth. Merlin crouched by her knees, catching her eyes every time she dared look at him. She didn't know what they wanted from her. They seemed perfectly happy now that everything was out in the open. What place did she have there? Arthur lightly kissed the top of her head and she leaned into his side, so very tired.
"What's wrong?" Merlin asked while swiping at the corner of her eyes with his thumbs. He didn't appear to be bothered by the way Arthur had tucked her head beneath his chin, or the way his arms were around her. The thing that seemed to concern him was her, all his focus was on her; it was like he couldn't see Arthur on the other side of her. His hands framed her face, brushing stray curls from her forehead and she almost missed it, the moment he pushed forward and his lips were on hers for the briefest moment as he joined them on the bed.
Folding along the bed came naturally, even the slight expansion of the frame to fit them all didn't shock her as she clutched at Merlin's jacket and buried her face against his neck.
As much as she thought they needed her, she needed them more.
The second time was not by chance. No one was bleeding and death did not lurk just beyond the door. There were no fires and no mothers crying out for their lost children. It was the three of them seeking comfort in body heat and gentle touches.
When Gaius came to shut the door, not one of them noticed.