Simpsons Quotes
Probably the most useless prompt table ever.
Simpsons Quotes
Yeah, I know. I'm probably the only person interested in this table. But I've always wanted to create a table of quotes from "The Simpsons."
In order to make this table do-able, I'm going to say that you can take any aspect of each quote as inspiration for your story. For instance, if you're writing a story for prompt #10, you could write about sleeping issues, clowns, evil clowns, someone afraid to sleep, someone afraid to sleep because of fear of being eaten by a monster, etc.
Thanks to mooserat and tvsgrady for engaging in Simpsons quote fests with me. I eventually used those quotes to make the bulk of this table. In some instances, quotes have been paraphrased because I didn't have access to the episode to doublecheck them. I'll fix 'em whenever I see the episodes again.
1.Sweet, nourishing gruel!
2.We'll get him drunk and drag him out of town. Just like we did with Laura Ingalls Wilder!
3.It's filled with bunly goodness.
4.That'll learn 'im to bust my tomater.
5.Can't murder now. Eating.
6.You mean I shaved my bikini zone for nothing?
7.Stupid sexy Flanders!
8.Lies make baby Jesus cry.
9.Pain is the cleanser, pain is the cleanser!
10.Can't sleep. Clown'll eat me.
11."No I do not have a receipt. I won it as a door prize at the Star Trek Convention, although I find their choice of prize highly illogical, as the average Trekker has no use for a medium-sized belt."
"Woah, woah, fat, sarcastic Star Trek fan. You must be a devil with the ladies."
"Huuuuuh. I shall now return to my store where I dispense the insults rather than take them."
12.But Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills! You're from two different worlds!
13."You can do it Otto, you can do it Otto. Help each other out, that'll be our motto."
"Make this spare, I give you free gelato."
"Then back to my place where I will get you blotto."
"Domo arigato, Mister Roboto!"
14.MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!
15."Rod. Todd. This is God. Bring forth all the cookies from your kitchen and put them on the Simpson's porch."
"But those cookies belong to our parents..."
"Do you want a vengeful God or a happy God?"
"HappyGod!"
"Then quit flappin' your lips and make with the cookies."
16.I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.
17.Oh, why does my death keep coming back to haunt me?
18.When are they gonna get to the fireworks factory?!
19.Bed goes up, bed goes down, bed goes up, bed goes down.
20.Hugh Jass! Hugh Jass! Hey everyone, do I have a Hugh Jass?
21."Grampa, how'd you get your underwear off without taking off your pants?"
"I... don't... know!"
22.I bent my wookie.
23.Hot stuff, comin' throoooough...
24.Sweetie, you seem blue. Did the last of something die?
25."I thought it was just a name."
"What he meant was, Monster Island is actually a peninsula!"
26."Sir, people see you as something of an ogre."
"They do?! I'll club them and eat their bones!"
27."What do you think, Marge? All I need is a title. I was thinking along the lines of... no TV and no beer make Homer something something."
"Go crazy?"
"Don't mind if I do!"
28.This is like something out of that twilighty show about that zone.
29."Grandpa, how do you sleep at night?!"
"They drug us."
30.To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
31.Must... drop... pantaloons...
32.Bye, witches! Thanks for not eating me!
33.That's it Marge, he knows the whole hot dog song. Go ahead, sleep with him. I'll just take a lock of hair to remember you by. It's just you and me now, lock of hair.
34.Attempted murder! Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?
35.I'm not a supergenius. Or are I?
36."No offense Homer, but your half-assed underparenting was a lot more fun than your half-assed overparenting."
"But I was using my whole ass."
37."Does Mr. Simpson have a demon, Daddy?"
"Hmm, looks that way. Go and get Daddy's exorcism tongs."
"Yaaaay!"
38.For lucky best wash use Mr. Sparkle. He banishes dirt to the land of wind and ghosts!
39.American jerks are going home
Now we sleep for a thousand years
When we wake, the world will end
40.When I grow up, I'm going to Bovine University!
41.Homer, a man who called himself "You-know-who" just invited you to a secret "wink-wink" at the "you-know-what."
42."You're not gonna ask me to pose nude, are you?"
"Well, yes. Unless you have issues about revealing your body."
"I don't, but the block association does. They wanted a 'traditional' Santa Claus."
43.I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.
44.o/` I've got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart
Where?
Down in my heart today
And if the devil doesn't like it, he can sit on a tack
Ouch!
Sit on a tack
Ouch! o/`
45.My demons and I are closer than ever.
46.Me fail English? That's unpossible!
47.Fighting only makes it tighter.
48.Why do people run from me?
49.You're like my mommy after her box of wine.
50.Dying tickles!
51.So... do you like............ stuff?
52.At my house, we call them "Uh-ohs."
53.My freakin' ears!
54.What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?
55.I'm a torso!
56.He's got a board with a nail in it! Run!
57.Iron helps us play!
58....then just call me a big old caveman. If they existed. Which they didn't!
59."He's gaining on us!"
"I'm scared!"
"Come on Neddy, move this thing!"
"I can't, it's a Geo!"
60.I'm happy AND ANGRY!
61.I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean S-M-A-R-T...
62.Woohoo!
63.S-U-C-E-E-S-S, that's the way you spell success!
64."He-llOOOOOO!"
"Stop saying hello!"
65.The dead have risen... and they're voting Republican...
66.Hello Smithers, you're quite good at turning me on.
67.I can't believe it. Jerry Springer didn't solve our conflict.
68.Holy flurking schnit!
69.Amanda Hugnkiss? I need Amanda Hugnkiss! Oh why can't I find Amanda Hugnkiss?
70."Maybe there is no moral to this story."
"Nah. It's just a bunch of stuff that happened."
71."Let's just agree to disagree."
"I don't agree to that."
"Neither do I."
72."Oh no, I'm a nerd!"
"*GASP!* So am I!"
73.Do you even remember when you lost your passion for this job?
74.Yeah, yeah, get in the bowl.
75."In case you couldn't tell, I was being sarcastic."
"Well, duh."
76."Okay Brain, I don't like you, and you don't like me, but let's just get through this and I can get back to killing you with beer."
"It's a deal!"
77.That oughta hold the little S.O.B.'s.
78.Mmmmm... forbidden donut...
79."I suggest you leave immediately."
"Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?"
80.Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat products.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself; you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and second, I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, Dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
81."That's my swingset, and that's my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. And this is where I met the leprechaun."
"Right, the leprechaun."
"He told me to burn things."
82."Number 8." *Burp!* "Number 8." *Burp!* "Number 8." *Burp!*
83.Last night's "Itchy and Scratchy Show" was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured, I was on the internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.
84.And now, what we all came here to see - hardcore nudity!
85."Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic."
"Mr Gumble, this is a Girl Scout meeting."
"Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?"
86.Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!
87.Urge to kill... rising...
88.I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.
89.Can't you people solve these problems yourselves? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city!
90.Tonight I'm going to party like it's on sale for $19.99!
91."Booooooo!"
"Smithers, they're booing me!"
"No, Sir, they're saying Boo-urns. Boo-urns!"
"Are you saying Boo or Boo-urns?"
"BOOOOOOOO!"
"I was saying Boo-urns..."
92."Homer, is this how you pictured married life?"
"Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries."
93.I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode. I think it was called ... "The Bus that Couldn't Slow Down."
94.I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
95.I'm going to the back seat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
96.I've never felt so accepted in all my life. These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined.
97.I want the answers now or eventually!
98.Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.
99.Note to self: Stop. Doing. Anything.
100.Woohoo! I'm drenched in blood!
You can replace any quotes you don't like with these substitute quotes (I'll add more as quotes jump on me):
1. "Ohhh, why must my actions have consequences?!"
2. "I can't believe he acted completely in character."
3. "This plot made no sense! Tell the people!"
4. "Shut up Brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip!"
5. "Stupid TV. Be more funny!"
6. "It's hard not to listen to TV. It's spent so much more time parenting us than you have."
7. "Stupid bug! You go squish now!"
8. "Bart, stop creating a diversion and get out of here!"
9. "She's better than me at everything that makes me special."
10. "If they don't let me in here, I'll have to stop drinking."
"Yay!"
"Shut up, liver."
11. "Can't talk now. Maintaining a state of cat-like readiness."
12. "You can't impound my spirit."
13. "Why don't those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?"
14. "We're doomed! Doomed, I tells ya!"
15. "Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."
16. "It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in 8 hours of TV a day."
17. "Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?"
"No."
"Ham?"
"No!"
"Pork chops?"
"Dad, those all come from the same animal."
"Heheheh, ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal."
18. "But everytime I learn something new, it pushes out something old. Remember that time I took a home wine-making course and forgot how to drive?"
"That's because you were drunk!"
19. "Oh Lisa, you and your stories. Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that... building... thingie... where our beds and TV... are."
20. Big Brother Representative: "Now, Mr. Simpson, may I ask why you're here?"
Homer's Brain: "Don't say revenge... don't say revenge..."
Homer: "Ummm... revenge?"
Homer's Brain: "Okay, that's it, I'm outta here." *Step step step step, SLAM!*
21. Old Man: "Take this doll, but beware! It carries a terrible curse."
Homer: "Oooh, that's bad."
Old Man: "But it comes with a free serving of frozen yogurt!"
Homer: "That's good!"
Old Man: "The frozen yogurt is also cursed."
Homer: "That's bad."
Old Man: "But it comes with your choice of toppings!"
Homer: "That's good!"
Old Man: "The toppings contain potassium benzoate!"
Homer: "........"
Old Man: "That's bad."
Homer: "...Can I go now?"
22. Homer's Brain: "Use reverse psychology."
Homer: "Oh, that sounds too complicated."
Homer's Brain: "Okay, don't use reverse psychology."
Homer: "Okay, I will!"
23. "Dad, we did something very bad!"
"Did you wreck the car?"
"No..."
"Did you raise the dead?"
"Yes!"
"But the car's okay."
"Uh huh."
"Alright then."
24. "Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please send me no sign whatsoever..... thy will be done." *Munch munch munch*
25. "I didn't vote for him."
"You didn't vote for anybody."
"I voted for Prell to go back to the old glass bottle. Then I became deeply cynical."
26. "What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway."
27. Bart: "I've got a story so scary, you'll wet your pants."
Grandpa: "Too late."
28. "As usual, a knife-wielding maniac shows us the way."
(I think I'm building up to a second table here...)
The HTML you need to post this table.
I think I'd rather use these prompts to make a Buffet table, and need my Buffet HTML now.
|| MASTERLIST OF AVAILABLE PROMPT TABLES ||
Simpsons Quotes
Yeah, I know. I'm probably the only person interested in this table. But I've always wanted to create a table of quotes from "The Simpsons."
In order to make this table do-able, I'm going to say that you can take any aspect of each quote as inspiration for your story. For instance, if you're writing a story for prompt #10, you could write about sleeping issues, clowns, evil clowns, someone afraid to sleep, someone afraid to sleep because of fear of being eaten by a monster, etc.
Thanks to mooserat and tvsgrady for engaging in Simpsons quote fests with me. I eventually used those quotes to make the bulk of this table. In some instances, quotes have been paraphrased because I didn't have access to the episode to doublecheck them. I'll fix 'em whenever I see the episodes again.
1.Sweet, nourishing gruel!
2.We'll get him drunk and drag him out of town. Just like we did with Laura Ingalls Wilder!
3.It's filled with bunly goodness.
4.That'll learn 'im to bust my tomater.
5.Can't murder now. Eating.
6.You mean I shaved my bikini zone for nothing?
7.Stupid sexy Flanders!
8.Lies make baby Jesus cry.
9.Pain is the cleanser, pain is the cleanser!
10.Can't sleep. Clown'll eat me.
11."No I do not have a receipt. I won it as a door prize at the Star Trek Convention, although I find their choice of prize highly illogical, as the average Trekker has no use for a medium-sized belt."
"Woah, woah, fat, sarcastic Star Trek fan. You must be a devil with the ladies."
"Huuuuuh. I shall now return to my store where I dispense the insults rather than take them."
12.But Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills! You're from two different worlds!
13."You can do it Otto, you can do it Otto. Help each other out, that'll be our motto."
"Make this spare, I give you free gelato."
"Then back to my place where I will get you blotto."
"Domo arigato, Mister Roboto!"
14.MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!
15."Rod. Todd. This is God. Bring forth all the cookies from your kitchen and put them on the Simpson's porch."
"But those cookies belong to our parents..."
"Do you want a vengeful God or a happy God?"
"HappyGod!"
"Then quit flappin' your lips and make with the cookies."
16.I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.
17.Oh, why does my death keep coming back to haunt me?
18.When are they gonna get to the fireworks factory?!
19.Bed goes up, bed goes down, bed goes up, bed goes down.
20.Hugh Jass! Hugh Jass! Hey everyone, do I have a Hugh Jass?
21."Grampa, how'd you get your underwear off without taking off your pants?"
"I... don't... know!"
22.I bent my wookie.
23.Hot stuff, comin' throoooough...
24.Sweetie, you seem blue. Did the last of something die?
25."I thought it was just a name."
"What he meant was, Monster Island is actually a peninsula!"
26."Sir, people see you as something of an ogre."
"They do?! I'll club them and eat their bones!"
27."What do you think, Marge? All I need is a title. I was thinking along the lines of... no TV and no beer make Homer something something."
"Go crazy?"
"Don't mind if I do!"
28.This is like something out of that twilighty show about that zone.
29."Grandpa, how do you sleep at night?!"
"They drug us."
30.To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
31.Must... drop... pantaloons...
32.Bye, witches! Thanks for not eating me!
33.That's it Marge, he knows the whole hot dog song. Go ahead, sleep with him. I'll just take a lock of hair to remember you by. It's just you and me now, lock of hair.
34.Attempted murder! Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?
35.I'm not a supergenius. Or are I?
36."No offense Homer, but your half-assed underparenting was a lot more fun than your half-assed overparenting."
"But I was using my whole ass."
37."Does Mr. Simpson have a demon, Daddy?"
"Hmm, looks that way. Go and get Daddy's exorcism tongs."
"Yaaaay!"
38.For lucky best wash use Mr. Sparkle. He banishes dirt to the land of wind and ghosts!
39.American jerks are going home
Now we sleep for a thousand years
When we wake, the world will end
40.When I grow up, I'm going to Bovine University!
41.Homer, a man who called himself "You-know-who" just invited you to a secret "wink-wink" at the "you-know-what."
42."You're not gonna ask me to pose nude, are you?"
"Well, yes. Unless you have issues about revealing your body."
"I don't, but the block association does. They wanted a 'traditional' Santa Claus."
43.I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.
44.o/` I've got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart
Where?
Down in my heart today
And if the devil doesn't like it, he can sit on a tack
Ouch!
Sit on a tack
Ouch! o/`
45.My demons and I are closer than ever.
46.Me fail English? That's unpossible!
47.Fighting only makes it tighter.
48.Why do people run from me?
49.You're like my mommy after her box of wine.
50.Dying tickles!
51.So... do you like............ stuff?
52.At my house, we call them "Uh-ohs."
53.My freakin' ears!
54.What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?
55.I'm a torso!
56.He's got a board with a nail in it! Run!
57.Iron helps us play!
58....then just call me a big old caveman. If they existed. Which they didn't!
59."He's gaining on us!"
"I'm scared!"
"Come on Neddy, move this thing!"
"I can't, it's a Geo!"
60.I'm happy AND ANGRY!
61.I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean S-M-A-R-T...
62.Woohoo!
63.S-U-C-E-E-S-S, that's the way you spell success!
64."He-llOOOOOO!"
"Stop saying hello!"
65.The dead have risen... and they're voting Republican...
66.Hello Smithers, you're quite good at turning me on.
67.I can't believe it. Jerry Springer didn't solve our conflict.
68.Holy flurking schnit!
69.Amanda Hugnkiss? I need Amanda Hugnkiss! Oh why can't I find Amanda Hugnkiss?
70."Maybe there is no moral to this story."
"Nah. It's just a bunch of stuff that happened."
71."Let's just agree to disagree."
"I don't agree to that."
"Neither do I."
72."Oh no, I'm a nerd!"
"*GASP!* So am I!"
73.Do you even remember when you lost your passion for this job?
74.Yeah, yeah, get in the bowl.
75."In case you couldn't tell, I was being sarcastic."
"Well, duh."
76."Okay Brain, I don't like you, and you don't like me, but let's just get through this and I can get back to killing you with beer."
"It's a deal!"
77.That oughta hold the little S.O.B.'s.
78.Mmmmm... forbidden donut...
79."I suggest you leave immediately."
"Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?"
80.Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat products.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself; you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and second, I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, Dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
81."That's my swingset, and that's my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. And this is where I met the leprechaun."
"Right, the leprechaun."
"He told me to burn things."
82."Number 8." *Burp!* "Number 8." *Burp!* "Number 8." *Burp!*
83.Last night's "Itchy and Scratchy Show" was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured, I was on the internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.
84.And now, what we all came here to see - hardcore nudity!
85."Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic."
"Mr Gumble, this is a Girl Scout meeting."
"Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?"
86.Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!
87.Urge to kill... rising...
88.I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.
89.Can't you people solve these problems yourselves? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city!
90.Tonight I'm going to party like it's on sale for $19.99!
91."Booooooo!"
"Smithers, they're booing me!"
"No, Sir, they're saying Boo-urns. Boo-urns!"
"Are you saying Boo or Boo-urns?"
"BOOOOOOOO!"
"I was saying Boo-urns..."
92."Homer, is this how you pictured married life?"
"Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries."
93.I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode. I think it was called ... "The Bus that Couldn't Slow Down."
94.I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
95.I'm going to the back seat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
96.I've never felt so accepted in all my life. These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined.
97.I want the answers now or eventually!
98.Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.
99.Note to self: Stop. Doing. Anything.
100.Woohoo! I'm drenched in blood!
You can replace any quotes you don't like with these substitute quotes (I'll add more as quotes jump on me):
1. "Ohhh, why must my actions have consequences?!"
2. "I can't believe he acted completely in character."
3. "This plot made no sense! Tell the people!"
4. "Shut up Brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip!"
5. "Stupid TV. Be more funny!"
6. "It's hard not to listen to TV. It's spent so much more time parenting us than you have."
7. "Stupid bug! You go squish now!"
8. "Bart, stop creating a diversion and get out of here!"
9. "She's better than me at everything that makes me special."
10. "If they don't let me in here, I'll have to stop drinking."
"Yay!"
"Shut up, liver."
11. "Can't talk now. Maintaining a state of cat-like readiness."
12. "You can't impound my spirit."
13. "Why don't those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?"
14. "We're doomed! Doomed, I tells ya!"
15. "Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."
16. "It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in 8 hours of TV a day."
17. "Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?"
"No."
"Ham?"
"No!"
"Pork chops?"
"Dad, those all come from the same animal."
"Heheheh, ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal."
18. "But everytime I learn something new, it pushes out something old. Remember that time I took a home wine-making course and forgot how to drive?"
"That's because you were drunk!"
19. "Oh Lisa, you and your stories. Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that... building... thingie... where our beds and TV... are."
20. Big Brother Representative: "Now, Mr. Simpson, may I ask why you're here?"
Homer's Brain: "Don't say revenge... don't say revenge..."
Homer: "Ummm... revenge?"
Homer's Brain: "Okay, that's it, I'm outta here." *Step step step step, SLAM!*
21. Old Man: "Take this doll, but beware! It carries a terrible curse."
Homer: "Oooh, that's bad."
Old Man: "But it comes with a free serving of frozen yogurt!"
Homer: "That's good!"
Old Man: "The frozen yogurt is also cursed."
Homer: "That's bad."
Old Man: "But it comes with your choice of toppings!"
Homer: "That's good!"
Old Man: "The toppings contain potassium benzoate!"
Homer: "........"
Old Man: "That's bad."
Homer: "...Can I go now?"
22. Homer's Brain: "Use reverse psychology."
Homer: "Oh, that sounds too complicated."
Homer's Brain: "Okay, don't use reverse psychology."
Homer: "Okay, I will!"
23. "Dad, we did something very bad!"
"Did you wreck the car?"
"No..."
"Did you raise the dead?"
"Yes!"
"But the car's okay."
"Uh huh."
"Alright then."
24. "Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please send me no sign whatsoever..... thy will be done." *Munch munch munch*
25. "I didn't vote for him."
"You didn't vote for anybody."
"I voted for Prell to go back to the old glass bottle. Then I became deeply cynical."
26. "What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway."
27. Bart: "I've got a story so scary, you'll wet your pants."
Grandpa: "Too late."
28. "As usual, a knife-wielding maniac shows us the way."
(I think I'm building up to a second table here...)
The HTML you need to post this table.
| 1. | Sweet, nourishing gruel! | 2. | We'll get him drunk and drag him out of town. Just like we did with Laura Ingalls Wilder! | 3. | It's filled with bunly goodness. | 4. | That'll learn 'im to bust my tomater. | 5. | Can't murder now. Eating. |
| 6. | You mean I shaved my bikini zone for nothing? | 7. | Stupid sexy Flanders! | 8. | Lies make baby Jesus cry. | 9. | Pain is the cleanser, pain is the cleanser! | 10. | Can't sleep. Clown'll eat me. |
| 11. | "No I do not have a receipt. I won it as a door prize at the Star Trek Convention, although I find their choice of prize highly illogical, as the average Trekker has no use for a medium-sized belt." "Woah, woah, fat, sarcastic Star Trek fan. You must be a devil with the ladies." "Huuuuuh. I shall now return to my store where I dispense the insults rather than take them." | 12. | But Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills! You're from two different worlds! | 13. | "You can do it Otto, you can do it Otto. Help each other out, that'll be our motto." "Make this spare, I give you free gelato." "Then back to my place where I will get you blotto." "Domo arigato, Mister Roboto!" | 14. | MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING! | 15. | "Rod. Todd. This is God. Bring forth all the cookies from your kitchen and put them on the Simpson's porch." "But those cookies belong to our parents..." "Do you want a vengeful God or a happy God?" "HappyGod!" "Then quit flappin' your lips and make with the cookies." |
| 16. | I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. | 17. | Oh, why does my death keep coming back to haunt me? | 18. | When are they gonna get to the fireworks factory?! | 19. | Bed goes up, bed goes down, bed goes up, bed goes down. | 20. | Hugh Jass! Hugh Jass! Hey everyone, do I have a Hugh Jass? |
| 21. | "Grampa, how'd you get your underwear off without taking off your pants?" "I... don't... know!" | 22. | I bent my wookie. | 23. | Hot stuff, comin' throoooough... | 24. | Sweetie, you seem blue. Did the last of something die? | 25. | "I thought it was just a name." "What he meant was, Monster Island is actually a peninsula!" |
| 26. | "Sir, people see you as something of an ogre." "They do?! I'll club them and eat their bones!" | 27. | "What do you think, Marge? All I need is a title. I was thinking along the lines of... no TV and no beer make Homer something something." "Go crazy?" "Don't mind if I do!" | 28. | This is like something out of that twilighty show about that zone. | 29. | "Grandpa, how do you sleep at night?!" "They drug us." | 30. | To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. |
| 31. | Must... drop... pantaloons... | 32. | Bye, witches! Thanks for not eating me! | 33. | That's it Marge, he knows the whole hot dog song. Go ahead, sleep with him. I'll just take a lock of hair to remember you by. It's just you and me now, lock of hair. | 34. | Attempted murder! Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? | 35. | I'm not a supergenius. Or are I? |
| 36. | "No offense Homer, but your half-assed underparenting was a lot more fun than your half-assed overparenting." "But I was using my whole ass." | 37. | "Does Mr. Simpson have a demon, Daddy?" "Hmm, looks that way. Go and get Daddy's exorcism tongs." "Yaaaay!" | 38. | For lucky best wash use Mr. Sparkle. He banishes dirt to the land of wind and ghosts! | 39. | American jerks are going home Now we sleep for a thousand years When we wake, the world will end | 40. | When I grow up, I'm going to Bovine University! |
| 41. | Homer, a man who called himself "You-know-who" just invited you to a secret "wink-wink" at the "you-know-what." | 42. | "You're not gonna ask me to pose nude, are you?" "Well, yes. Unless you have issues about revealing your body." "I don't, but the block association does. They wanted a 'traditional' Santa Claus." | 43. | I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt. | 44. | o/` I've got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart Where? Down in my heart today And if the devil doesn't like it, he can sit on a tack Ouch! Sit on a tack Ouch! o/` | 45. | My demons and I are closer than ever. |
| 46. | Me fail English? That's unpossible! | 47. | Fighting only makes it tighter. | 48. | Why do people run from me? | 49. | You're like my mommy after her box of wine. | 50. | Dying tickles! |
| 51. | So... do you like............ stuff? | 52. | At my house, we call them "Uh-ohs." | 53. | My freakin' ears! | 54. | What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery? | 55. | I'm a torso! |
| 56. | He's got a board with a nail in it! Run! | 57. | Iron helps us play! | 58. | ...then just call me a big old caveman. If they existed. Which they didn't! | 59. | "He's gaining on us!" "I'm scared!" "Come on Neddy, move this thing!" "I can't, it's a Geo!" | 60. | I'm happy AND ANGRY! |
| 61. | I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean S-M-A-R-T... | 62. | Woohoo! | 63. | S-U-C-E-E-S-S, that's the way you spell success! | 64. | "He-llOOOOOO!" "Stop saying hello!" | 65. | The dead have risen... and they're voting Republican... |
| 66. | Hello Smithers, you're quite good at turning me on. | 67. | I can't believe it. Jerry Springer didn't solve our conflict. | 68. | Holy flurking schnit! | 69. | Amanda Hugnkiss? I need Amanda Hugnkiss! Oh why can't I find Amanda Hugnkiss? | 70. | "Maybe there is no moral to this story." "Nah. It's just a bunch of stuff that happened." |
| 71. | "Let's just agree to disagree." "I don't agree to that." "Neither do I." | 72. | "Oh no, I'm a nerd!" "*GASP!* So am I!" | 73. | Do you even remember when you lost your passion for this job? | 74. | Yeah, yeah, get in the bowl. | 75. | "In case you couldn't tell, I was being sarcastic." "Well, duh." |
| 76. | "Okay Brain, I don't like you, and you don't like me, but let's just get through this and I can get back to killing you with beer." "It's a deal!" | 77. | That oughta hold the little S.O.B.'s. | 78. | Mmmmm... forbidden donut... | 79. | "I suggest you leave immediately." "Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?" | 80. | Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup? Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup. Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat products. Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy? Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning. Marge: Tell him yourself; you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart. Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out. Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and second, I heard what you said. Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case. Bart: Uhhh, Dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to. |
| 81. | "That's my swingset, and that's my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. And this is where I met the leprechaun." "Right, the leprechaun." "He told me to burn things." | 82. | "Number 8." *Burp!* "Number 8." *Burp!* "Number 8." *Burp!* | 83. | Last night's "Itchy and Scratchy Show" was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured, I was on the internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world. | 84. | And now, what we all came here to see - hardcore nudity! | 85. | "Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic." "Mr. Gumble, this is a Girl Scout meeting." "Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?" |
| 86. | Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me! | 87. | Urge to kill... rising... | 88. | I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn. | 89. | Can't you people solve these problems yourselves? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city! | 90. | Tonight I'm going to party like it's on sale for $19.99! |
| 91. | "Booooooo!" "Smithers, they're booing me!" "No, Sir, they're saying Boo-urns. Boo-urns!" "Are you saying Boo or Boo-urns?" "BOOOOOOOO!" "I was saying Boo-urns..." | 92. | "Homer, is this how you pictured married life?" "Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries." | 93. | I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode. I think it was called ... "The Bus that Couldn't Slow Down." | 94. | I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. | 95. | I'm going to the back seat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes! |
| 96. | I've never felt so accepted in all my life. These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined. | 97. | I want the answers now or eventually! | 98. | Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people. | 99. | Note to self: Stop. Doing. Anything. | 100. | Woohoo! I'm drenched in blood! |
I think I'd rather use these prompts to make a Buffet table, and need my Buffet HTML now.
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