Reflections on a Mathcamp

[fclbrokle]

This summer, I visited Mathcamp for two weeks. It was the first time in ten years that I haven't been there for the full five weeks; the first time in thirteen years that I have not been to an academic summer camp for its full duration. In my previous ten summers of Mathcamp, I missed a grand total of two days that I was eligible to attend (for a

Comments

[oxeador]

OMG. You have no idea how much I can relate to every single word you have written here. I feel exactly like you say. Exactly.

[fclbrokle]

The difference is that your speech was good. :)

But thank you!

[oxeador]

No, no, I was not talking about my speech. I was talking about how you feel about Mathcamp, why you left it, how you felt when you visited this year, about doing something that scares you, and about the future.

[fclbrokle]

I know. I was just remarking/paying you a compliment. :)

[easwaran]

The sort of "individualism" that Mathcamp encourages here is an odd one - being "locked in the Mathcamp mindset" isn't individualism in the sense that it makes you and other people mutually incomprehensible. Rather, it makes you and other people in the Mathcamp mindset mutually comprehensible, but incomprehensible to people outside it. (Maybe "mutual incomprehensibility" isn't the right way to put it, but something like that seems to be the point you're bringing up.)

It's a sort of communal individualism, rather than a solipsistic individualism. It's not that getting into this mindset means ignoring the fact that other people exist and you have to interact with them, but rather that it means ignoring the fact that non-Mathcamp people exist and you have to interact with them. And perhaps in addition to "have to interact with them", there are plenty of good reasons to want to interact with them

[fclbrokle]

You read my point correctly, and I really like your phrasing of it. I think that my biggest point is that sometimes I think others don't want to interact with others outside of the Mathcamp group or mindset, and as a result they don't think about how to behave in a way that makes interactions with them work. In addition to being a shame (because there are lots of cool people that wouldn't fit in at Mathcamp at all), it's also a limitation later on if you don't think about how to develop social skills for interacting with a wide variety of different people!

[fuurei]

For what it's worth, I did get the intended message out of your end-of-camp speech last year.

While I can't say I relate fully -- while extremely rewarding, being at Mathcamp has also tended to be a bit of a trying experience for me -- I found it really inspiring to see you at camp, the way you just came for two weeks and were so naturally just a part of camp, in a way that I never could've managed despite being there the whole time.

Apologies for slight incoherence, as it's 4 AM, so I'm not quite sure what I'm trying to say, but... thank you for posting these reflections; they felt really meaningful to me.

[fclbrokle]

Hehe, well, thank you for replying.

I do think that we tend to appear to fit in more easily than we sometimes do. It's not the case for me that every minute feels like "I am home" --- there are stresses and worries and so forth for everyone.

[fclbrokle]

Thank you.

[meep]

I've gotten to where I "leave home" every so often. I change certain things every 4-6 years or so, to make sure I don't get stuck.

It helps to have a rock-solid core one can always retreat to, if need be [in my case: family]. It makes venturing out into the unknown less dangerous.

[fclbrokle]

I've been understanding that more and more as the role of a family as I've been thinking about it.

I think I too will want to "leave home" in some sense every 4-6 years (although that doesn't necessarily mean changing careers or the like), just because I want to keep doing something new. So far I get a lot out of each new experience.

[thatwesguy]

There really is a balance to be struck between the comforts of "home" and the potential for growth of "new."

I find that the better I can define "home" for myself (oh, yes, the definition changes!), the more I get out of new experiences, and the less stressful they are. Finding and refining "home" doesn't seem to get easier, but I find that that's okay so far.

Anyhow, nice to see you here, fclbrokle. Since I know your real-life identity, I'll be adding you to my "see my journal" ACLs. :-)

[fclbrokle]

Good to see you too, thatwesguy. I'll certainly add you right back, although I don't have much in the way of protected entries.

I agree about your definition of home. I tend to have lots of "homes," and am comfortable whenever I return to them, but they're still qualitatively different for me. There's also a difference in which keep me happiest long-term.

[hahafaha]

For what it's worth, I agree with fuurei -- I also think I got the intended message. And I very much agree with its importance; I am not nearly as seasoned a Mathcamper of you, of course, but even after my meager two years, I think I have a reasonable understanding of where exactly in my heart Mathcamp lies. I am still not sure if I will return next year, but I have little doubt that if I do, I shall feel that I am coming back home.

[fclbrokle]

Yup.