Today I fantasized about denouncing dad/Suzanne at their respective funerals for almost four hours straight at work.

I have fantasies about sending my dad to the emergency room with serious injuries more often then the women, money, or fame variety. That dude is a FUCKING BASTARD.

I don't know where the boredom comes from. I only know that it puts me on MySpace. I don't know where MySpace came from. I only know that everyone has one. Why is boredom so cruel to us? Where is it taking us? Does the boredom have a MySpace? How can I get ahold of it to sort out these issues? They are of immediate importance.

(to the tune of "Happy Birthday"!)

Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me!
Now I can buy porn and cigarettes and get in more trouble for sttttttuuuuuFFFFF!!!!!!
Happy birthday to me.

Party Woo! Anyone wanna do anything fun? I still don't have any plans, and I have lots of time money and a car...............

people are so complicated and annoying

Hey guys. Wahtizup?

Mutual?

My mutual funds have made me $33.56 in the past 10 days since I bought them.

That is $33.56 more then you have made me in your ENTIRE LIFE. That is why my best friend is Fidelity.

fuck tea pots, you know?

Don't give me sympathy,
give me sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll.

I just painted my cellphone. My selfone.

I also just coined the word,"Selfone" right there ^, I think.